COVID-19 has changed everything. Even the way we talk.
The world has gotten so weird it’s reached a point where normal language just doesn’t cut it anymore.
2020 has given birth to some fresh slang – a sort-of mini coronavirus catalogue that helps us articulate the extraordinary situations we keep finding ourselves in during lockdown.
One message doing the rounds on WhatsApp has captured the most useful/pertinent phrases of the pandemic so far – and we’ve listed some of the best bits from the viral content below.
Some of these expressions should make quarantine communication much, much easier from hereon in…
The ups and downs of your mood during the pandemic. You’re loving lockdown one minute but suddenly weepy with anxiety the next. It truly is “an emotional coronacoaster”.
Experimental cocktails mixed from whatever random ingredients you have left in the house. These are sipped at “locktail hour” ie. wine o’clock during lockdown (which gets earlier with every passing week).
The future generation of babies conceived or born during coronavirus quarantine. They might also become known as “Generation C” or, more spookily, “Children of the Quarn”.
Wine consumed in an attempt to relieve the frustration of not working. Also known as “bored-eaux” or “cabernet tedium”.
The elephant in the Zoom
The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. e.g. one participant has suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house visible in the background.
An attention-seeker using their time in lockdown to make amateur films which they’re convinced are funnier and cleverer than they actually are.
One who ignores public health advice or behaves with reckless disregard for the safety of others.
The sudden fear that you’ve consumed so much wine, cheese, home-made cake and Easter chocolate in lockdown that your ankles are swelling up like a medieval king’s.
Using health precautions as an excuse for snubbing neighbours and generally ignoring people you find irritating.
Extra make-up applied to “make one’s eyes pop” before venturing out in public wearing a face mask.
Fattening the curve
The weight we’re all gaining from comfort-eating and comfort-drinking.