An infamous rant by Noel Gallagher about how rubbish Christmas is has resurfaced online and just in time for the holidays.
Right on cue, just like that advert with Santa driving the big lorry full of Coca-Cola.
In case you’ve never heard him rip festive fanatics a new one before, the legendary Manc musician pretty much loathes everything about the holiday season – or at least he once did, not that he’s one to dwell on beefs and grievances of any kind…
Speaking in a typically sarcastic Christmas message courtesy of visual arts and electronic outlets 180 Fact, the Oasis songwriter and lead guitarist starts nice and softly by simply stating: “The entire f***ing period is a stain on society – I f***ing hate it with a passion.”
A festive Gallagher grouch, through and through.
As you can see in the full short but not-so-sweet clip above, in which Noel manages to cram in countless gripes against everything from Christmas jingles, jumpers and songs, to even TV adverts, presenters and even the amount of food (what?…), the 57-year-old really isn’t very keen on it at all.
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He even took issue with charity singles like the 1985 ‘We Are the World’ song because god forbid any well-meaning soul embrace the spirit of giving come December.
Every year it rears its end, we particularly enjoy his bizarre tangent about a kid asking for an exotic spider or tree frog. Hyperbole and absurdity, we know, but still cracks us up.
The older Gallagher brother reels off pretty much every negative adjective you can think of for Christmas: “rubbish”, “boring”, “dogsh**” and so on. He even says he has turned his daughter Anais against the holiday and will continue to work on the other family members in the coming years.
Having said that, we’re not too sure how well all that is going or if Noel is still as vehement in his hatred of Christmas as he once was, especially given recent events. This you, mate, yeah?…
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Noel Gallagher hosted a star-studded Christmas party in London on Wednesday night.
The 57-year-old got into the festive spirit by inviting a load of his famous pals to celebrity hangout Chiltern Firehouse, which is frequented by the likes of Kate Moss, Rita Ora and even Tom… pic.twitter.com/0E8EnnXgTg
In all seriousness, we sincerely hope that now Oasis are officially back that Noel and all the other Gallagher family relations will be reunited once again this festive period and that everything will be absolutely hunky dory.
That being said, we’ve already had one early Christmas miracle with the two kissing and making up so we’re not going to push our luck too much because, let’s be honest, if it’s anything like anyone else’s Christmas, they’ll be at each other’s throats before you know it.
Please just stay friends until after the tour’s over, lads, we beg you.
What about you lot? Are you Christmas fans or, like Noel Gallagher, do you think it’s overrated tripe?
The Strokes at Co-op Live, Manchester – actually very hard to explain
Daisy Jackson
Manchester has waited a long, long time for this – The Strokes back on stage in our city.
I’ve been a fan of the band for as long as I can remember, but have never managed to catch them live, partly because they’ve left it TWENTY YEARS between shows here.
But back they are, with an enormous gig at the Co-op Live on their Reality Awaits tour.
The Strokes are known as one of the most solid indie bands of the 2000s, going triple platinum with their debut album Is This It and releasing massive anthems like Last Nite, Reptilia, and Someday.
They’re also known as a bit of an unpredictable live act – some will say they’re one of the best on the circuit, others will say they’re disappointing, and it really can depend on the night.
What they’re not known for is their audience interaction, so when frontman Julian Casablancas tries to have a bit of a chat with the audience, we all sort of stare blankly back at him. He’s speaking to us? What do we do?
“Wow, tough crowd,” he says, which is the first time I’ve ever heard anyone describe a Manchester audience as tough.
Then he turns back to drummer Fabrizio Moretti and says: “This is f*cking hideous, let’s play some songs.”
The setlist seems to get a shake-up every couple of shows, which is a nice surprise for us – and apparently also Julian, who regularly pops over to ask his bandmates what’s up next.
It doesn’t really matter that he’s not done his homework, because the second that drum kicks in, along with the impeccable guitar work of Schiltz, Fraiture and Hammond Jr., he snaps into action.
It’s impressive that their songs still have such singalong quality when Casablancas enunciates like a man with a dislocated jaw. For certain songs he’s so incoherent that if you weren’t a fan you’d walk in this room and wonder what the f*ck was going on.
But then, that’s sort of why us The Strokes fans love them so much. There’s a calamitous beauty to the work they put out and it’s so fun to belt out some words, even if they’re not the right ones.
I was hoping that seeing it live would sell that divisive new album, Reality Awaits, to me, but it didn’t. It’s too autotuney, too languid, and too often the victim of everyone’s toilet breaks.
Their earlier tracks still land best in a live setting, especially Reptilia, an absolute juggernaut in their back catalogue.
Rollercoaster set and tricky crowd interactions aside, we all had a great time – I’m just not sure I could say the same about Julian Casablancas.
Sam Fender describes his own ticket prices as ‘b*llocks’ and demands change for fans
Daisy Jackson
Sam Fender has kicked off about ticket prices for his own tour, ahead of his huge stadium summer next year.
The Geordie star announced his Proper Massive stadium tour last week, which will visit some of the UK’s biggest venues including The O2 in London, Etihad Stadium in Manchester, and St James’ Park in his home city of Newcastle.
But after ticket prices for the tour were announced, Sam Fender surprised us all by joining in with a moan about how expensive they were.
He described the ticketing strategy for his tour as ‘b*llocks’ and said he was ‘not happy’ with ticket prices.
And proving just how much sway an artist can have on ticket prices, Sam Fender then demanded that things be redone.
Sam first appeared in the comments on Gavin Davis’ Instagram account, which frequently shares tour leaks and ticket prices.
There, he wrote: “I’m not happy with these prices, they’re getting changed. It got inflated well more than I’d had in mind, it should only be inflated in relation to the cost of putting the show on.
“The standing will not be split as well, I had no idea about it. I have no idea how this was normalised in gigs.
“It’s bollocks and it won’t be happening on this tour.”
Then later, on his own Instagram stories, Sam Fender posted: “I’ve managed to get Front Standing tickets removed from the UK stadium tour. Whoever buys a standing ticket gets as much chance as anyone to be at the front.
“No more £120 standing tickets either.
“Costs are astronomical compared to two years ago, I can’t control the venue and ticketing fees, that’s a sad reality of today’s industry.
“This is gonna be the biggest and best show we’ve ever put on. Can’t wait to see everyone on the road next summer!”
The ticket prices for the Proper Massive tour are now confirmed by Sam Fender himself as being £85 for GA standing, and £55/£75/£95 for seats.
Danny Jones -
16th December 2024 
