Nigel Slater has sent the internet into a right tizz after sharing a recipe for a sweet tart with quite a suggestive shape.
The 67-year-old food writer posted instructions for a custard and poached quince tart, alongside a picture of the pink pastry.
Nigel clearly spent a lot of time perfecting the recipe, but what he maybe didn’t do was think about his photography properly. Or, maybe he knew exactly what he was doing.
Because within minutes of sharing his quince custard tart recipe, the comment section was flooded with similar observations.
There’s no denying it – those soft folds of pink stewed fruit look an awful lot like a vulva…
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One person joked that the tart looked like it would have a ‘nice vulvatey texture’ while another said it was ‘Shameless clitbait’.
Nigel’s caption read: “Not something to hurry, but a pleasurable way to spend a quiet afternoon in the kitchen and worth every minute of your time.
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“The quinces need to be cooked until completely soft then left to cool in their syrup which is then boiled down for the glaze. You could make them with apples should quinces prove evasive.”
But his followers were so distracted by the NSFW image that they couldn’t resist bombarding him with jokes.
Nigel Slater’s accidentally rude tart recipe. Credit: Instagram
One person wrote: “Is it my dirty mind or….*checks comments* nope, we are all filth bags together.”
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Another said: “Broke my neck running to the comments.”
Someone else posted: “Nige, I’m going to put it down to your being a sweet gay man that you have no idea what you’ve posted. Merry Christmas.”
And someone else passed on season’s greetings, saying: “Merry Clitmas, one and all.”
Another festive joker said: “Feliz Fannydad! (Thanks for making my crimbz, Nigel!)”
And on X, formerly known as Twitter, one user shared: “Nigella: ‘No one does sexy Christmas like me.’ Nigel: ‘See my beer? Will you hold it?'”
Nigel Slater has since posted a follow-up to the erotic quince tart, writing: “Gracious me, thank you for all your likes and comments on my last post. Some absolute gems there.
“A very low-key Christmas here this year, so here is a picture of my tree in 2022 (probably my favourite ever) to wish you a very, very happy and peaceful Christmas and to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone for following and for all your messages over the year.
Government launches £442m drive to get rough sleepers off streets before Christmas
Emily Sergeant
Prime Minister Andy Burnham has launched a £442m drive to get rough sleepers off the streets before Christmas.
Learning from ‘innovative’ approaches put into place during the pandemic, the Government has announced that new accommodation will be rolled out across England this winter, as well as offering practical help with housing, health, and other needs to support people to build a more stable life for themselves in the future.
The new commitment to offer everyone a route off the streets this Christmas, along with boosted funding, reflect the Andy Burnham‘s national drive to make ‘real change’ and get everyone playing their part in ending rough sleeping.
Not only will these plans change the lives of rough sleepers, but it’s also said they will have huge benefits for the country as a whole.
Research from homelessness charity Crisis suggests that by preventing 40,000 people from becoming homeless for a year, taxpayers could save around £370 million.
The Government has launched a £442m drive to get rough sleepers off the streets before Christmas / Credit: Number 10 Press Office | Jon Tyson (via Unsplash)
As well provisions to get people off the streets, and the intensive ‘wraparound’ support, the newly allocated funding will also help local areas deliver more than 1,000 ‘settled’ homes over the next three years, it has been confirmed.
Areas facing the greatest pressures will receive the largest share of support.
Working alongside councils, Mayors will play a leading role in driving local action to end rough sleeping, and will be tasked with making decisions that are right for their communities to deliver help where it’s needed most.
The Prime Minister says he ‘won’t accept’ rough sleeping any longer. He commented: “No one should have to bed down in a doorway or outside a station, but we’ve seen it for so long that it feels like Westminster has started to accept it.
“That’s why my first instruction as Prime Minister was to end rough sleeping, and it’s why today we’re getting started with a national drive to get everyone in for Christmas. We did it in the pandemic, we can do it again. But it needs all of us.
“Government will put the money in, but I’m asking leaders in communities and sectors across society to play their part locally too.
“Let’s get people out the cold, and let’s bring back hope.”
Featured Image – Gary Knight (via Flickr)
Christmas
You can ALREADY book tickets for Greater Manchester’s beloved Santa steam trains this Christmas
Emily Sergeant
Greater Manchester’s beloved Santa steam train rides are back for more festive fun this Christmas, and tickets are already on sale… genuinely.
Sure, it’s literally the middle of August, and we’ve still got the rest of summer, and the small matter of a bank holiday weekend, Halloween, and Bonfire Night to get through first, but East Lancashire Railway (ELR) is already looking ahead to the most magical time of year.
The iconic heritage railway has announced that its hugely-popular ‘Santa Specials’ steam trains are back once again from late November.
The famous festive steam trains have become an essential part of Christmas for many families in the North West.
Santa Specials are your chance to hop on board an old-school steam train and travel through the magical Irwell Valley to make ‘enchanted memories’ that last a lifetime.
You can ALREADY book tickets for Greater Manchester’s beloved Santa steam trains this Christmas / Credit: Darren Robinson Photography (via ELR)
The truly special Christmas day out starts as you make your way through a winter wonderland at Bury Bolton Street Station, and first get to meet some old favourites and new characters – including the magical talking Christmas tree, Mrs Claus, and ELR’s very own Ice Princess – all before before having a singalong with a chorus of musical polar bears.
The festive fun then continues on the Santa Special steam trains themselves – with an 80-minute ‘enchanting voyage’ through the picturesque Greater Manchester countryside.
And, of course, you can expect a special visit from Santa while you’re on board.
After you’ve grabbed a selfie or two with the big man himself, the grown-ups can look forward to mince pies and festive tipples, while little Mancs can enjoy a soft drink, some chocolate, and take a festive-themed activity pack home with them.
Daisy Jackson -
18th December 2023 
