Nigel Slater has sent the internet into a right tizz after sharing a recipe for a sweet tart with quite a suggestive shape.
The 67-year-old food writer posted instructions for a custard and poached quince tart, alongside a picture of the pink pastry.
Nigel clearly spent a lot of time perfecting the recipe, but what he maybe didn’t do was think about his photography properly. Or, maybe he knew exactly what he was doing.
Because within minutes of sharing his quince custard tart recipe, the comment section was flooded with similar observations.
There’s no denying it – those soft folds of pink stewed fruit look an awful lot like a vulva…
ADVERTISEMENT
One person joked that the tart looked like it would have a ‘nice vulvatey texture’ while another said it was ‘Shameless clitbait’.
Nigel’s caption read: “Not something to hurry, but a pleasurable way to spend a quiet afternoon in the kitchen and worth every minute of your time.
ADVERTISEMENT
“The quinces need to be cooked until completely soft then left to cool in their syrup which is then boiled down for the glaze. You could make them with apples should quinces prove evasive.”
But his followers were so distracted by the NSFW image that they couldn’t resist bombarding him with jokes.
One person wrote: “Is it my dirty mind or….*checks comments* nope, we are all filth bags together.”
ADVERTISEMENT
Another said: “Broke my neck running to the comments.”
Someone else posted: “Nige, I’m going to put it down to your being a sweet gay man that you have no idea what you’ve posted. Merry Christmas.”
And someone else passed on season’s greetings, saying: “Merry Clitmas, one and all.”
Another festive joker said: “Feliz Fannydad! (Thanks for making my crimbz, Nigel!)”
And on X, formerly known as Twitter, one user shared: “Nigella: ‘No one does sexy Christmas like me.’ Nigel: ‘See my beer? Will you hold it?'”
Nigel Slater has since posted a follow-up to the erotic quince tart, writing: “Gracious me, thank you for all your likes and comments on my last post. Some absolute gems there.
“A very low-key Christmas here this year, so here is a picture of my tree in 2022 (probably my favourite ever) to wish you a very, very happy and peaceful Christmas and to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone for following and for all your messages over the year.
Chester Zoo reveals new plans for ‘spectacular’ winter light trail
Emily Sergeant
Chester Zoo has revealed new plans for a “spectacular” lights trail this winter, and it sounds even more magical than ever.
Is it too early to mention the ‘C’ word? Probably, considering it is the middle of July… but despite how far in advance it may seem, Chester Zoo has wasted absolutely no time at all in revealing exciting plans for the return of its massively-popular lights trail this winter.
Lanterns and Light is by far one of the UK’s largest charity zoo’s best-loved events each year, so it’s absolutely no surprise to hear it’s making a 2024 comeback.
Set to feature a raft of new additions, and therefore more animal lantern puppets than ever before, the zoo is promising that this year’s Lanterns and Light will be even longer and “more exciting” than what visitors saw in back in 2023 – with the event running all the way through to New Year’s Day for the first time in its history.
The zoo will be teaming up with entertainment giants, Sony Music, once again to deliver this year’s beloved festive spectacle.
Chester Zoo has revealed new plans for the return of its ‘spectacular’ winter light trail / Credit: Chester Zoo
Opening to the public for some festive family-friendly fun from 15 November, organisers say visitors should expect to take a journey through a number of distinct and vibrant lands, where they’ll encounter an exciting lineup of costumed characters and new animal puppets – including meerkats, peacocks, red pandas, and snow leopards.
An “incredible” new soundscape will add to the immersive experience, while animal lanterns such as dragonflies hovering over water, elephants in permafrost, and exotic birds flying overhead, decorate the route of the stunning light trail.
If the lights and sculptures themselves weren’t impressive enough as it is, there’ll also be a whole new festive menu on offer at food and drink markets stationed in various locations within the zoo too.
🎄Christmas is JUST around the corner!❄️
More LIGHTS, more LANTERNS, more ANIMAL PUPPETS, more MAGIC, more of EVERYTHING you love…
Don’t forget to greet Father Christmas in his workshop!🎅 Tickets to Lanterns & Light are selling fast, so get them while you still can👇 pic.twitter.com/B8cmwrLr76
Heidi Budden, who is the Marketing Manager at Chester Zoo, expects this year’s Lanterns and Light to be a “wonderful evening” and says it gives visitors the chance to “play a part in helping wildlife to thrive”.
“We’ve made the light trail even longer and packed it with exciting new elements,” she added.
“There’ll be more animal lanterns than ever before, and never-before-seen interactive puppets including energetic meerkats, colourful peacocks and playful snow leopards, all joined by many of the family favourites from years gone by that people have grown to love.”
There’ll be more animal lantern puppets than ever before at this year’s festive spectacle / Credit: Chester Zoo
Lanterns and Light will return to Chester Zoo from Friday 15 November 2024, and run on selected evenings right through to New Year’s Day – with tickets now on sale.
Ticket sales will help to support the zoo in its conservation efforts to protect some of the planet’s most threatened species.
The lyrics to Auld Lang Syne for New Year’s Eve, and what the song means
Daisy Jackson
The clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, the confetti is thrown, the kisses are exchanged, and then up starts Auld Lang Syne and you realise, once again, that you don’t know the lyrics to the iconic song.
This classic song is traditionally sung as we welcome in a new year, but you may (like us) find yourself singing the words as ‘dah daaah dah dah daaah dah dah, dah dah daaah dah Auld Lang Syne.”
Well it’s time to stop that behaviour and learn yourselves the Auld Lang Syne lyrics, quick time, before we hit 2024.
The text of the song is actually from a Robert Burns poem, penned way back in 1788 and based on an old Scottish folk song.
It was set to a tune a decade later, and since then has been recorded by dozens of different artists.
Auld Lang Syne can loosely translate as ‘old long since’, or ‘days gone by’ or ‘old times’.
So its meaning roughly is ‘for the sale of old times’.
There are longer versions of the song, but the lyrics to the most commonly-played version of Auld Lang Syne are below.
So hold hands with your loved ones, crack open the champers, and ring in a very happy new year.
What are the lyrics to Auld Lang Syne?
Fireworks on New Year’s Eve, when the song Auld Lang Syne is traditionally sung
Should auld acquaintance be forgot And never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot And the days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear For auld lang syne We’ll drink a cup of kindness yet For the sake of auld lang syne
And surely you will buy your cup And surely I’ll buy mine! We’ll take a cup of kindness yet For the sake of auld lang syne
We two have paddled in the stream From morning sun till night The seas between us Lord and swell Since the days of auld lang syne
For old acquaintance be forgot And never brought to mind Should old acquaintance be forgot For the sake of auld lang syne?
For old acquaintance be forgot And never brought to mind Should old acquaintance be forgot In the days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear For auld lang syne We’ll drink a cup of kindness yet For the sake of auld lang syne