Nigel Slater sparks internet frenzy with accidentally erotic tart recipe

'Merry Clitmas, one and all'

Daisy Jackson Daisy Jackson - 18th December 2023

Nigel Slater has sent the internet into a right tizz after sharing a recipe for a sweet tart with quite a suggestive shape.

The 67-year-old food writer posted instructions for a custard and poached quince tart, alongside a picture of the pink pastry.

Nigel clearly spent a lot of time perfecting the recipe, but what he maybe didn’t do was think about his photography properly. Or, maybe he knew exactly what he was doing.

Because within minutes of sharing his quince custard tart recipe, the comment section was flooded with similar observations.

There’s no denying it – those soft folds of pink stewed fruit look an awful lot like a vulva…


One person joked that the tart looked like it would have a ‘nice vulvatey texture’ while another said it was ‘Shameless clitbait’.

Nigel’s caption read: “Not something to hurry, but a pleasurable way to spend a quiet afternoon in the kitchen and worth every minute of your time.


“The quinces need to be cooked until completely soft then left to cool in their syrup which is then boiled down for the glaze. You could make them with apples should quinces prove evasive.”

But his followers were so distracted by the NSFW image that they couldn’t resist bombarding him with jokes.

Nigel Slater's accidentally rude tart recipe. Credit: Instagram
Nigel Slater’s accidentally rude tart recipe. Credit: Instagram

One person wrote: “Is it my dirty mind or….*checks comments* nope, we are all filth bags together.”


Another said: “Broke my neck running to the comments.”

Someone else posted: “Nige, I’m going to put it down to your being a sweet gay man that you have no idea what you’ve posted. Merry Christmas.”

And someone else passed on season’s greetings, saying: “Merry Clitmas, one and all.”

Another festive joker said: “Feliz Fannydad! (Thanks for making my crimbz, Nigel!)”

And on X, formerly known as Twitter, one user shared: “Nigella: ‘No one does sexy Christmas like me.’
Nigel: ‘See my beer? Will you hold it?'”


Nigel Slater has since posted a follow-up to the erotic quince tart, writing: “Gracious me, thank you for all your likes and comments on my last post. Some absolute gems there.

“A very low-key Christmas here this year, so here is a picture of my tree in 2022 (probably my favourite ever) to wish you a very, very happy and peaceful Christmas and to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone for following and for all your messages over the year.

“Wishing you a happy Christmas.”

Happy Christmas to you too Nige.

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Featured image: Instagram, @nigelslater