Nigel Slater has sent the internet into a right tizz after sharing a recipe for a sweet tart with quite a suggestive shape.
The 67-year-old food writer posted instructions for a custard and poached quince tart, alongside a picture of the pink pastry.
Nigel clearly spent a lot of time perfecting the recipe, but what he maybe didn’t do was think about his photography properly. Or, maybe he knew exactly what he was doing.
Because within minutes of sharing his quince custard tart recipe, the comment section was flooded with similar observations.
There’s no denying it – those soft folds of pink stewed fruit look an awful lot like a vulva…
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One person joked that the tart looked like it would have a ‘nice vulvatey texture’ while another said it was ‘Shameless clitbait’.
Nigel’s caption read: “Not something to hurry, but a pleasurable way to spend a quiet afternoon in the kitchen and worth every minute of your time.
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“The quinces need to be cooked until completely soft then left to cool in their syrup which is then boiled down for the glaze. You could make them with apples should quinces prove evasive.”
But his followers were so distracted by the NSFW image that they couldn’t resist bombarding him with jokes.
Nigel Slater’s accidentally rude tart recipe. Credit: Instagram
One person wrote: “Is it my dirty mind or….*checks comments* nope, we are all filth bags together.”
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Another said: “Broke my neck running to the comments.”
Someone else posted: “Nige, I’m going to put it down to your being a sweet gay man that you have no idea what you’ve posted. Merry Christmas.”
And someone else passed on season’s greetings, saying: “Merry Clitmas, one and all.”
Another festive joker said: “Feliz Fannydad! (Thanks for making my crimbz, Nigel!)”
And on X, formerly known as Twitter, one user shared: “Nigella: ‘No one does sexy Christmas like me.’ Nigel: ‘See my beer? Will you hold it?'”
Nigel Slater has since posted a follow-up to the erotic quince tart, writing: “Gracious me, thank you for all your likes and comments on my last post. Some absolute gems there.
“A very low-key Christmas here this year, so here is a picture of my tree in 2022 (probably my favourite ever) to wish you a very, very happy and peaceful Christmas and to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone for following and for all your messages over the year.
Magical Christmas experience in Manchester will bring The Polar Express to life
Daisy Jackson
A magical new Christmas experience is coming to Manchester this winter, bringing The Polar Express to life.
The fully immersive walkthrough experience will invite you on an enchanting journey to the North Pole, as you whizz past beautiful landscapes – all without actually leaving Manchester.
The all-new BELIEVE! THE POLAR EXPRESS Experience brings the beloved story to life, following the Hero Boy and Hero Girl.
Taking place at the O2 Victoria Warehouse, the experience begins in Hero Boy’s bedroom, before you step foot into the iconic The Polar Express carriage as a passenger.
Then you’ll be glued to the windows as you whizz through the Caribou Forest, past icy lakes, and dazzling Northern Lights displays.
Entertaining passengers every step of the way are beloved characters like the Conductor, Hero Boy, Hero Girl, and the mysterious Hobo.
You can get your golden ticket punched, warm up with a complimentary hot chocolate and a cookie, and be swept along by the festive tale.
Passengers will meet beloved characters from The Polar ExpressYou can visit the nice-o-meterAnd meet Santa himself
At the ‘North Pole’, the magic continues, with a Pyjama Party, a Letter Writing Station where you can send a note to Santa, visit the Naughty or Nice Machine, and craft a special Christmas decoration to take home.
You’ll even get the chance to meet Santa Claus himself…
While THE POLAR EXPRESS Train Ride has welcomed over 1.7 million riders in 2024, BELIEVE! THE POLAR EXPRESS™ Experience is a brand-new experience – no moving train, no stations.
Instead, the wonder of the story is brought off the tracks and into a hands-on environment.
The magic of The Polar Express will be brought to lifeFollow Hero Boy on his journey to the North Pole
Photo opportunities are available throughout the experience, and little ones (or grown-ups, we’re not judging) are encouraged to wear pyjamas to fully embrace the story.
BELIEVE! THE POLAR EXPRESS comes from Warner Bros., Discovery Global Experiences, Rail Events Inc., and Plus Live Events.
BELIEVE! THE POLAR EXPRESS takes place between14 November and 31 December at O2 Victoria Warehouse in Manchester, with tickets now available and expected to sell out quickly HERE.
A Relaxed Performance Day for guests with neurodiverse conditions will also be held.
Government launches £442m drive to get rough sleepers off streets before Christmas
Emily Sergeant
Prime Minister Andy Burnham has launched a £442m drive to get rough sleepers off the streets before Christmas.
Learning from ‘innovative’ approaches put into place during the pandemic, the Government has announced that new accommodation will be rolled out across England this winter, as well as offering practical help with housing, health, and other needs to support people to build a more stable life for themselves in the future.
The new commitment to offer everyone a route off the streets this Christmas, along with boosted funding, reflect Andy Burnham‘s national drive to make ‘real change’ and get everyone playing their part in ending rough sleeping.
Not only will these plans change the lives of rough sleepers, but it’s also said they will have huge benefits for the country as a whole.
Research from homelessness charity Crisis suggests that by preventing 40,000 people from becoming homeless for a year, taxpayers could save around £370 million.
The Government has launched a £442m drive to get rough sleepers off the streets before Christmas / Credit: Number 10 Press Office | Jon Tyson (via Unsplash)
As well provisions to get people off the streets, and the intensive ‘wraparound’ support, the newly allocated funding will also help local areas deliver more than 1,000 ‘settled’ homes over the next three years, it has been confirmed.
Areas facing the greatest pressures will receive the largest share of support.
Working alongside councils, Mayors will play a leading role in driving local action to end rough sleeping, and will be tasked with making decisions that are right for their communities to deliver help where it’s needed most.
The Prime Minister says he ‘won’t accept’ rough sleeping any longer. He commented: “No one should have to bed down in a doorway or outside a station, but we’ve seen it for so long that it feels like Westminster has started to accept it.
“That’s why my first instruction as Prime Minister was to end rough sleeping, and it’s why today we’re getting started with a national drive to get everyone in for Christmas. We did it in the pandemic, we can do it again. But it needs all of us.
Daisy Jackson -
18th December 2023 
