Just as the three wise men brought offerings of gold, frankincense and myrrh, British supermarkets bring Christmas dinner pizza, Brussels sprouts chocolate rolls, and Yorkshire pudding wraps.
British supermarkets at this time of year are filled with golden nuggets of weird, wonderful and verging on just-plain-wrong specials.
Stumbling across one is a great feeling, and you have to tell everyone.
Let’s face it, if there’s one thing to guarantee a laugh on Christmas day, it’s pulling out a novelty sweet treat, and this year’s selection of supermarket specials will have the in-laws raving about you until Easter.
Our list of the maddest supermarket specials is the middle aisle on steroids.
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Read on to find some truly shocking and not-quite-right inventions. Make sure you read all the way because we crown the wackiest winner at the bottom… trust us, you’ll want to get your hands on this.
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Tiramisu-flavoured Dessert Sauce
Aldi
We learnt quickly when researching this list, Aldi is the King of crazy supermarket goodies.
Specially-selected by Aldi themselves, you can turn anything into tiramisu – a Christmas miracle.
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Think of all the fun you could have with this little flavour machine you could pour over brownies, dip strawberries but promise us you won’t swap it for gravy.
Hold on tight, we’re getting into the slightly darker recesses of Asda here.
A pigs in blanket slice – we’ll leave it for you to decide whether that’s going straight in your basket. Could be good in bread – could not. We’re on the fence about these, but for those who think a cocktail sausage is just not enough, this one’s for you.
Couldn’t think of anything better to go with a cuppa on Christmas day. Marks and Spencer have smashed it out the supermarket with these. Though not weird, they are just really cute and deserve a place on the list because, well, they’re bitesize sticky toffee puddings.
Guaranteed to bring a smile – would you dunk them in the brew though?
Christmas Tinner. A force to be reckoned with. Where to begin. At the top seems the only option, which, by the way, is scrambled egg.
Stuff to make your stomach turn, Christmas Tinner defies all culinary laws.
Scrambled egg and bacon is followed by two mince pies. Then turkey and potatoes, gravy, a layer of bread sauce and cranberry sauce. You’ve got your brussels sprouts with stuffing, roasted carrots and parsnips and, if you make it that far, Christmas pudding.
Wow, buy this and you’ll be the cat that got the squirty chocolate cream. Imagine a dollop on your Christmas eve hot chocolate or just straight down the hatch, the right way.
A simple can of goodness – this one’s sure to be a family favourite.
Yorkshire Pudding Wraps
Morrison’s
Can’t get enough of Porky Pig’s Yorkshire pudding wraps at the Christmas markets?
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No fear – Morrison’s mean you make them at home. Cook from frozen and they are a really tasty Christmas treat. Chicken, stuffing and gravy all wrapped up in a Yorkshire pudding just an oven’s cook away.
Winning combination of one of our favorite puddings, the Vienetta, and an after dinner treat, the infamous After Eight.
The two come together to make the King of all after dinner experiences.
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Try and imagine what that would taste like – all we know is that with those two, you can’t go wrong.
Hershey’s Cookies N Cream Ice Cream Cake
Iceland
Credit: Facebook (Daniel Christopher Chubb)
The alternative Christmas pudding.
Popularity for the Christmas pudding is thinning on the ground, so why not make a new tradition with ice cream cake. It’s cold to represent the frosty weather outside, but has cookies for the warm inside which represents, oh we don’t know, some new traditions just don’t need explaining.
Crowned winner of the most wonderful Christmas specials to grace our humble supermarkets. Marks and Sparks have seriously outdone themselves.
Appearing simply as a domed desert, most people would pass it by as a pretty Christmas cake, but take a hammer to this thing and you unlock Santa’s grotto. Tasty treats lay beneath this dome and it’s only a layer of white chocolate between you and all the sweets you could wish for.
Cracking idea (excuse the pun) and fun for all. Beneath is a creamy Madeira cake filled with buttercream and jam – what’s not to like?
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Featured Image – NewfoodsUK | M&S Tunbridge Wells
Trending
The 1975 and Charli XCX drop collab teaser in Manchester city centre
Danny Jones
Manchester, we might have a collaboration between two of the biggest British acts around right now as local lads The 1975 and pop sensation Charli XCX look to have just teased something big right here in the city centre.
It’s fair to say that if 2023 was the biggest year of The 1975‘s career to date then 2024 has very much been Charli XCX’s. In fact, we’d say it’s been a pretty great 12 months or so for pop music in general, which it feels like we don’t get to say that often.
That being said, despite the Cambridge-born singer having only just released her smash-hit BRAT back in June, is already ramping up for more new music to be dropped.
A massive new poster has appeared near Piccadilly and not only is it the bright lime green and plain black font now synonymous with her album but the words also read “the 1975” backwards.
It looks like this could finally be The 1975 x Charli XCX collab so many fans have been waiting for and there’s plenty of reason to believe it could be coming very soon.
For starters, rumours of the two working together have been running ever since the 32-year-old became partners with the band’s drummer, producer and co-songwriter, George Daniel, who has regularly appeared with her on stage at the likes of Boiler Room, not to mention sharing mixes of her songs.
She also came out as a surprise guest during their second-to-last visit to Manchester and the AO Arena back in January 2023 – much to the delight of the crowd.
Furthermore, Charli recently announced her next project rather straightforwardly called Brat and it’s completely different but still also brat.
While there are no other discernible clues to take from the rather large billboard, the title alone, George Daniel’s involvement and her own penchant for DJing of late quickly led people to piece together that she is planning to release a reworked version of her sixth studio album.
Moreover, Charli (real name Charlotte Emma Aitchison) has already revealed a number of feature artists on the remixed version of BRAT, including Addison Rae, Robyn, Billie Eilish and Yung Lean, as well as Troye Sivan and Lorde, who both joined her on stage recently for the ‘Sweat Tour’.
As already confirmed, whatever this new project ends up sounding like, it’s coming out next Friday, 11 October and if the collabs we already know about are anything to go by, then it’s a pretty safe bet that The 1975 will be also a appear on a tune or two. Who knows, maybe it could be something even bigger?
‘Bratty Healy’ is born, whether you like it or not.
Featured Images — The Manc Group/Press Image (supplied)
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Robbie Williams is releasing a big budget biopic later this year – only it stars him as a monkey?…
Danny Jones
Robbie Williams has always been a true popstar but he’s never exactly played it paint by numbers, which is why learning that his upcoming biopic features him as a CGI monkey sounds much less random than it would be coming from anyone else.
There have been countless big-budget movies about rockstars and famous musicians even in just the past few years – One Love about Bob Marley, Back to Black about Amy Winehouse, Elvis and even the upcoming Bob Dylan biopic – but there is a single one we could name where the star is a monkey.
Announced this week, BETTER MAN will tell the story of Robbie Williams’ life and career right up until the present day and is set to be released this festive period.
The first trailer has now dropped too and whatever you make of the concept, visually at least, looks pretty good – only time will tell whether it’s a good film or not.
First trailer for the Robbie Williams biopic ‘BETTER MAN’, starring a CGI monkey as Robbie Williams.
The tagline for the film is, “Discover an extraordinary journey that can’t be told in an ordinary way” and as Williams addresses in the short teaser, starting by simply saying, “I know what you’re thinking? What’s with the monkey?”, they’ve certainly found a way to tell this story diferently.
In fact, although telling his story through the medium of a monkey wasn’t his idea to begin with and, as he and director Michael Gracey (The Greatest Showman) told the likes of Heart Radio, there’s a few reasons for it.
First off, Robbie said of the film and its vision: “I want everything that I do from here on in to be slightly unusual, so that fits that narrative.”
“As humans, we care more for animals than we do for humans. So the audience is probably going to have more empathy for me as a monkey than they would’ve done for me as me.” That’s a fair point: a cute CGI monkey can definitely be rooted for, but it’s Gracey’s explanation that makes it sound most interesting.
As he puts it, the idea to make a furry version of the 50-year-old came from looking to reflect the hitmaker being “pushed on stage” like a “performing monkey” throughout his life, even when heavily under the influence of durgs and alcohol. But it goes much deeper than that.
“This is how he sees himself.” Director Michael Gracey explains why Robbie Williams is a monkey in #BetterManMovie – In select US theatres December 25. Everywhere in the US January 17. pic.twitter.com/GBSyFNfRe5
The Australian director, who also headed up fellow pop music icon P!nk’s autobiographical documentary, goes on to explain: “He was always putting on a performance at [his hometown] Stoke for the other kids, at home for his parents.
“It made it so powerful for me because I was like, You’re going to fall in love with this character, this little monkey. And you’re going to invest emotionally in this little monkey. As long as you set that contract at the start of the film, you’re in, and you will go with that monkey through the entire journey.”
Robbie will be played and largely voiced by Chesterfield-born actor Jonno Davies via motion capture technology, not unlike that used for the Planet of the Apes films, with the story spanning his fractious childhood to boy band success with Take That and then solo superstardom.
Still one of the best-selling and most well-known pop stars to ever do it, he will naturally take full control of the singing sections in the film as well as provide narration.
As he put its himself in the voiceover we’ve now heard, “I’m one of the biggest pop stars in the world but I’ve always seen myself a little less… evolved”. The stylistic choice has certainly split opinion already, with some calling it a “fantastic” approach from a “working class lad” who made it. Others have only found the immediate humour in it thus far.
idea for a film… the life of Robbie Williams told through the perspective of a CGI monkey pic.twitter.com/UhVtr4O8cX
Set to release on Boxing Day 2024, the blockbuster project from Paramount Pictures also features Steve Pemberton, Damon Herriman’ Raechelle Banno, Alison Steadman, Kate Mulvaney; Frazer Hadfield, Tom Budge and Anthony Hayes.
With a budget of a reported $110 million, the movie has actually already been debuted at the Toronto Film Festival and was met with pretty positive reviews, with The Guardian giving it four stars and labelling it a “surprisingly entertaining saga.”
As for us, we will say that we’d probably have watched a Robbie Williams biopic anyway, but let’s just say it being told through the lens of a monkey has very much piqued our interest.
There’s also another feature-length project still being made right here in Manchester that we’re very much keeping our eye on.
Dolly Busby -
17th December 2021 
