No, you didn’t misread the headline and you’re not on acid: Manchester music legends Bez and Shaun Ryder are set to feature in a brand-new gangster film.
Yes, the ones from the Happy Mondays – why are you having such trouble processing this?
Seriously though, we did a little double-take ourselves when we came across this news, but the familiar Manc faces look to be among the ensemble of a brand-new gangster movie by Irish writer, actor, producer and filmmaker, Ciaron Davies.
And this is just a little leak or rumour that may have been blown out of proportion: you can take it from the horse’s mouth as Happy Mondays frontman, Ryder, recently shared the news on social media.
As you can see, the new film is called Geezers and is billed as a “British crime caper” written and directed by Davies, featuring Shaun as hard-man Robbie and Bez as ‘Monk’. If you saw Ryder shaking off that snake biting his hand like it was nothing then you already know he’s hard as nails.
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Although it’s not strictly listed as a comedy per se, ‘caper’ would suggest plenty of humour and light-heartedness, so we’re thinking more like The Gentleman, Italian Job, or maybe even Four Lions, rather than a serious crime thriller.
Now, while we’ve seen both of the Salfordians on screen before not only in the likes of music videos, interviews, panel shows and even as two of the funniest guests to ever go on Celebrity Gogglebox, this latest venture will serve as their respective acting debuts.
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According to the IMDb page, the synopsis of the film is as follows: “Crime caper about a stolen bag of money. Caught in the crossfire are ‘The Geezers’ a bunch of wannabe criminals who have bitten off more than they can chew. With 24 hours to grab the cash, London may just go up in smoke tonight.”
Shame it’s not set on the mean streets of Manchester, or better yet Salford, but you’ve still very much caught our interest.
You can see the first promotional poster for the film down below.
As for Davies, he has been involved with a number of small-budget TV film projects, as well as appearing in shorts and even video games, so it’s fair to say that getting 62-year-old Ryder and his ever-energetic hype man, 60, involved is quite the coup for his movie-making career.
Although the film has no release date just yet, we know that filming locations having included parts of Warrington and Pinewood Studios, will be produced by Loose Gripp Films and distributed by publishers High Fliers.
Given the high-octane nature of Geezers and its genre, the feature will involve lots of action, stunts, violence and even martial arts – though how much kung-fu these two will have learned for the project remains to be seen…
All we know is that the film is supposedly “coming soon” and if you don’t want to see Bez and Shaun Ryder doing their best impression of a Guy Ritchie gangster movie then you’re lying to yourself. Praying for a Rowetta cameo to put the cherry on top.
Featured Images — Shaun Ryder (via X)/Loose Gripp Films/IMDb
TV & Showbiz
Jamie Carragher fires back at journalist after being turned away from Etihad away end
Danny Jones
Jamie Carragher has fired back at a tabloid journalist after he reported on the ex-footballer being turned away from the Borussia Dortmund away end during their meeting against Manchester City at the Etihad Stadium this week.
The former Liverpool and England player was reporting on the Champions League match as part of his usual ‘Golazo’ duties for the US on Wednesday, 5 November, and was hoping to join in with travelling fans during the game.
Carragher became part of the ‘yellow wall’ last year during their UCL fixture against Chelsea, being adopted as a Dortmund supporter for the day, but was not granted the same privilege upon arriving at the Etihad this time around.
Daily Mail journalist Mike Keegan wrote a piece explaining how the working presenter was turned away due to safety concerns raised by security at Man City, but the 47-year-old has now given his own retort.
Just trying to have a good time with the Dortmund fans Mike, it was no problem it wasn’t allowed. Next time message me & I’ll tell you all you need to know, rather than Simon at Man City giving you a story. Probably explains why you’re so sympathetic around the 115 charges.
As you can see, the retired defender turned Sky Sports and CBS pundit was less than pleased with the piece, clarifying that there was “no problem” over the decision, asking instead why he didn’t contact him directly for a comment.
In addition to seemingly naming names, he also couldn’t resist the urge as a rival Red to take a jab at City’s ever-looming FFP breaches, suggesting that the outlet has been somewhat biased in its coverage of the ongoing saga.
However, Keegan didn’t let the spat pass without his own right of reply.
Reacting directly underneath the response, the sports writer added: “I already knew the facts, Jamie, but you clearly don’t.
“Next time you’re covering a game at City, you should probably apologise to Simon for wrongly accusing him of being the source on the story.”
Either way, this is as far as Carragher got on his way to the ground:
While it is still unclear as to who exactly ‘Carra’ and Keegan are referring to in their exchange, many have speculated that it could be Simon Pearce: a non-executive director at the club and part of the CFG (City Football Group) board; he has been tied to the ongoing allegations of financial deception.
Onto the action pitchside, not only did scoring machine Erling Haaland come back to haunt his former team once again, but the Blues ran, maybe not riot, but much closer to their vintage best, with Stockport’s very own bagging a brace and Rayan Cherki scoring his first UCL goal under Pep Guardiola.
A Queer Eye favourite is bringing his first-ever UK comedy tour here to Manchester
Danny Jones
A much-loved member of the Queer Eye cast is set to embark on his debut UK comedy tour and is bringing his live stand-up gig to Manchester crowds.
If you’ve ever seen the successful Netflix reboot of the original Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, which aired its first season back in 2003, you’ll know that one of the biggest characters on the show is Jonathan Van Ness.
Known as the grooming expert on the series, Van Ness is just as popular a TV personality among fans as he is on the programme and in the entertainment industry itself.
He’s also got a pretty decent funny bone on him, too, and we’re glad to see he’s finally bringing his comic chops across the pond.
This is by no means the first time ‘JvN’ has leaned into the comedic side of his talents, having previously worked on the cult favourite digital web series Gay of Thrones, as well as his own Netflix documentary, Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness, which also has plenty of humour.
It’s also not his inaugural hour of stand-up either, as he released his maiden special, Fun & Slutty with Jonathan Van Ness, in his hometown of Austin, Texas, this past December.
Since then, he’s also started his own podcast called Getting Better with Jonathan Van Ness – available via BBC Sounds – which also features a fair few jokes every week.
Put simply, the 38-year-old hairstylist and presenter is much more than that: he’s becoming an increasingly convincing jack of all trades, and we’re absolutely here for it.
You can hear the kind of material he last put out down below.
My first live comedy special is here! Mom worked so hard on this and is so excited to share her with you! You can watch her now on @Veeps: https://t.co/1i0vLvuT02 (on web, TV app, mobile, wherever!!) Plz share, watch w friends, tell your friends!! pic.twitter.com/b9n8PcmrfO
Speaking of his multi-talentedness, the Emmy-winning television personality, three-time New York Times best-selling author, podcaster, founder of JVN Hair AND now comedian might be one of the most prolific public figures on the planet at the moment.
He’s already sold out two critically acclaimed global tours, and with a whole new raft of European dates now announced, Jonathan’s UK and Ireland leg is sure to do the same.
Danny Jones -
21st November 2024 
