A red-faced mum went viral this week with an apology she was forced to make after her “mischievous” cat brazenly stole someone’s cooked beef joint.
Meanwhile, her neighbour had also taken to social media to report that his tea had gone missing.
Can you tell where this is going?
Haydn Lawson – 20, from Colne in Lancashire – captured the attention of the community when she shared an apology to anyone who had “just had their tea pinched” in a local Facebook group earlier this week, and it didn’t take long before other eagle-eyed social media users spotted another Colne resident, Ryan, share a post claiming his beef dinner had gone missing after leaving his window open and questioned who would steal it.
Haydn had spotted her five-year-old cat Eclipse with what at first appeared to be a dead animal, but upon taking a closer look, found it was actually a “nicely cooked piece of brisket”.
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The embarrassed full-time mum said she’s “never known” anything like her cat’s greed and suspects Eclipse had a whiff of a neighbour’s dinner and seized the opportunity to take it home, leaving Haydn to track down the stolen dinner’s rightful owner.
She said she’d even buy them a new joint if she’s successful in finding the hungry victim.
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“I came into my bedroom where I was greeted by Eclipse just sitting there on my bed eating this hunk of meat.” Haydn said.
“I just laughed at first and was in shock. I thought ‘what animal am I looking at here?’, [as] she brings home rats, pigeons, crows, mice [and] she’ll bring home bits of rubbish that she’s found, [so] my first thing was to shout at her and say ‘Eclipse, what are you doing?’ just to get her away from whatever it was.”
Haydn still has her doubts about who the beef joint belonged to though.
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She continued: “[Ryan] lives at the other side of town. He told me where his street was and there was no chance my cat got there and back with meat in her mouth, and also, she wouldn’t have been able to get there without getting lost on the way back as it’s easily a mile or so away.
“He told me his street name and straight away I knew there was no way on this earth that my cat would have walked so far there, grabbed the meat and then walked so far back with the meat in her mouth.
“There’s so many busy roads and stuff, there wasn’t a chance”.
Despite the questioning over who’s tea had actually been stolen, the hilarious incident has still gone on to cheer up plenty of people across the region and beyond, with a picture showing the two posts side by side receiving thousands of interactions on social media, including more than 4,000 on one Instagram page.
“Looking at the comments, I thought it was absolutely hilarious,” Haydn continued.
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“I was just sat giggling at the pure thought of her sneaking into someone’s house and grabbing this meat. I had so many comments on it saying ‘thank you so much for sharing this – you’ve brightened my day’.
“I put a comment on the post and said ‘right, am I going to have to invest in a cat collar camera?’
“I don’t know whose beef joint it was – all I know is that she was on my bed eating it. I was well embarrassed. If I was to really truly find the person, I’ll buy them a new joint of beef.
“This cat, honestly – she’ll be the death of me.”
Although Haydn has been unable to actually track down the owner of the beef joint, she explained that there was a comment saying ‘God knows why you would have left your meat outside anyway to cool’, with a reply to it saying ‘I only turned my back for two minutes to plate up the roasties and it was gone’.
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“Now that to me sounds a hell of a lot more likely that this is their meat than [Ryan’s].” Haydn concluded.
This really is some proper internet beef.
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Lauren Laverne says she has ‘so much to be grateful for’ after getting the cancer all clear
Emily Sergeant
BBC presenter Lauren Laverne has been given the all clear following her cancer diagnosis earlier this year.
The 46-year-old star announced back in August that the cancer was detected ‘unexpectedly’ during a screening test, but revealed that it was luckily caught ‘early’ and that she was therefore expected to make a full recovery.
Laverne – who currently presents for BBC’s The One Show, as well as for BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs and on BBC Radio 6 Music too – thanked the “incredible skill and kindness” of the medical team treating her at the time of her diagnosis, as well as her family and friends who she said had been “extraordinary every step of the way”.
She also urged anyone avoiding a test or putting off a medical appointment to “get yourself checked out” as soon as possible.
Lauren Laverne asks for ‘good vibes’ after revealing cancer diagnosis / Credit: Lauren Laverne (via Instagram)
But now, several months after revealing to her thousands of fans that she had been diagnosed with cancer, Laverne has taken to Instagram once again to share the news that she has been given the all clear and that she now has “so much to be grateful for and excited about”.
“Just a quick update from me to say that, after taking some time off to get better, I’ve had the all clear and will be back to work on your TV this Tuesday with the wonderful The One Show team,” Laverne wrote on Instagram yesterday.
“I want to say a huge thank you to the brilliant medical teams who took such great care of me, to the thousands of people who sent me such beautiful and encouraging messages, my friends and the acquaintances who took the time to support me after going through cancer themselves, and most of all to my family.
“It’s been a difficult time, but one that has taught me so much about what really matters.
“I can’t say I suddenly regretted never having hiked the Inca Trail, more that I now see more beauty in ordinary things than I could have imagined, and feel more than ever that the small things in life – the connections we make and care we take with each other – are the big things really. I have so much to be grateful for and excited about, and that is thanks to everyone mentioned above.”
Laverne also sent “loads of love” to anyone going through cancer treatment or supporting a loved one through it.”
She also revealed that she’s been working on some new Desert Island Discs episodes, which will air soon on BBC Radio 4, and that she will also be returning to BBC Radio 6 Music in the new year too.
Rúben Amorim outlines the three key things Manchester United need to work on
Danny Jones
Rúben Amorim has conducted his first full press conference as Manchester United manager and has outlined the three key things he wants to address when it comes to his new team.
Amorim officially joined Man United on Monday, 11 November after being given a ‘now or never’ which meant he had to leave his former club Sporting CP in the middle of the season.
Replacing Erik ten Hag, who was sacked less than 24 hours after a 2-1 defeat to West Ham and had overseen a run of bad results, the contract extension he was given in the summer ultimately proved obsolete and now the Portuguese head coach must lift his new side from a measly 13th in the table.
That being said, speaking to the media in his first full pre-match presser ahead of his maiden Premier League outing against Ipswich Town this weekend, Amorim has already highlighted three key areas in which he wants United to improve as a matter of priority.
"I truly believe that I'm the right guy in the right moment" 👊
Ruben Amorim says he does not think managing Manchester United is the impossible job.#MUFC#bbcfootball 🇵🇹
What did Amorim say in his first full Man United press conference?
Although the 39-year-old coach – who is only three years older than resurgent centre-back Johnny Evans – started off by assuring that his main focus at its core is to win the next match (and the one after that, as the football cliché goes), he boiled the current squad issues down to a troublesome trio.
In his eyes, a lot of it just comes down to pure physical effort.
Improve possession
First and foremost, Amorim was quick to point out that United “lose the ball too often” and simply have to retain it more throughout the 90 minutes.
Although they have enjoyed spells of greater control in games, their average possessions stats in the Premier League not only under ten Hag but Ole Gunnar Solskjær and even short-lived interim boss Ralf Rangnick never flirted too far above 50-53%.
While that might sound like the signs of nothing more than a well-contested game, the club need to be looking at much higher numbers if they want to start being a dominant force again.
Track back more
The second area he said that the team desperately needs to improve in is the distances covered per match, especially when it comes to running back towards their own goal and tracking back during defensive phases.
Addressing it in a rather matter-of-fact manner, he told reporters: “We have to be better at running back, I think that is clear for everybody [to see].” He told Gary Neville something very similar in his other recent interview with Sky Sports.
"This is my place" ❤️
The smile on both Gary Neville and Ruben Amorim's face when the Manchester United head coach said this ☺ pic.twitter.com/dpKnnE69Nm
He said it with a smile on his face but it’s clear that he knows there is a narrative surrounding United in recent years that they just don’t work hard enough, both on and off the ball. Having played mainly in the middle of the park for Belenenses, Benfica and SC Braga, running is a non-negotiable.
Focus on the ‘details’ first
Lastly, Amorim said he believes one of the big things he can do for these players is to help them fine-tune the small things. He added that although there is a feeling that fans want there to be “a lot of change” and pressure to make “big” decisions, he reiterated that “it’s the small things.”
The former utility player knows a thing or two about playing in lots of positions and going back to the opening point of his press conference in which he discussed getting the team to believe in “one thing”, he believes that the minute differences can contribute to changing how they approach the game.
There is understandably lots of talk surrounding his trademark 3-4-3 formation and whether these details refer to tactical tweaks, we will see, but he insists that so long as they put in the effort and pay attention to the little stuff, those on the pitch will start to play in the same way that he wants them to.
You can watch his press conference ahead of the Ipswich away this Sunday in full down below:
Amorim was also happy to casually call out those who ‘don’t believe in’ his new players in his first press conference as Man United coach.