Just as the three wise men brought offerings of gold, frankincense and myrrh, British supermarkets bring Christmas dinner pizza, Brussels sprouts chocolate rolls, and Yorkshire pudding wraps.
British supermarkets at this time of year are filled with golden nuggets of weird, wonderful and verging on just-plain-wrong specials.
Stumbling across one is a great feeling, and you have to tell everyone.
Let’s face it, if there’s one thing to guarantee a laugh on Christmas day, it’s pulling out a novelty sweet treat, and this year’s selection of supermarket specials will have the in-laws raving about you until Easter.
Our list of the maddest supermarket specials is the middle aisle on steroids.
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Read on to find some truly shocking and not-quite-right inventions. Make sure you read all the way because we crown the wackiest winner at the bottom… trust us, you’ll want to get your hands on this.
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Tiramisu-flavoured Dessert Sauce
Aldi
We learnt quickly when researching this list, Aldi is the King of crazy supermarket goodies.
Specially-selected by Aldi themselves, you can turn anything into tiramisu – a Christmas miracle.
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Think of all the fun you could have with this little flavour machine you could pour over brownies, dip strawberries but promise us you won’t swap it for gravy.
Giant Éclair
Asda
The Giant Éclair has returned to Asda. It’s back, bigger, creamier and chunkier than ever.
Who wouldn’t want a giant éclair? Not us, that’s for sure.
We can’t wait to get our hands on this wonderful invention. Challenge nan to Eclair eating competition and whip this bad boy out.
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Just like their Christmas advert, Asda have got it just right this year.
Pigs in Blanket Slices
Asda
Hold on tight, we’re getting into the slightly darker recesses of Asda here.
A pigs in blanket slice – we’ll leave it for you to decide whether that’s going straight in your basket. Could be good in bread – could not. We’re on the fence about these, but for those who think a cocktail sausage is just not enough, this one’s for you.
We all have needs.
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Sticky Toffee Pudding Bites
Marks and Spencer’s
Back to the bitesize bits.
Couldn’t think of anything better to go with a cuppa on Christmas day. Marks and Spencer have smashed it out the supermarket with these. Though not weird, they are just really cute and deserve a place on the list because, well, they’re bitesize sticky toffee puddings.
Guaranteed to bring a smile – would you dunk them in the brew though?
Christmas Tinner
GAME
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Christmas Tinner. A force to be reckoned with. Where to begin. At the top seems the only option, which, by the way, is scrambled egg.
Stuff to make your stomach turn, Christmas Tinner defies all culinary laws.
Scrambled egg and bacon is followed by two mince pies. Then turkey and potatoes, gravy, a layer of bread sauce and cranberry sauce. You’ve got your brussels sprouts with stuffing, roasted carrots and parsnips and, if you make it that far, Christmas pudding.
Saves washing up the plates.
Chocolate Squirty Cream
Asda
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Safely back in Asda.
Wow, buy this and you’ll be the cat that got the squirty chocolate cream. Imagine a dollop on your Christmas eve hot chocolate or just straight down the hatch, the right way.
A simple can of goodness – this one’s sure to be a family favourite.
Yorkshire Pudding Wraps
Morrison’s
Can’t get enough of Porky Pig’s Yorkshire pudding wraps at the Christmas markets?
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No fear – Morrison’s mean you make them at home. Cook from frozen and they are a really tasty Christmas treat. Chicken, stuffing and gravy all wrapped up in a Yorkshire pudding just an oven’s cook away.
We’re getting straight down to Morrison’s.
After Eight Vienetta
Co-op
Winning combination of one of our favorite puddings, the Vienetta, and an after dinner treat, the infamous After Eight.
The two come together to make the King of all after dinner experiences.
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Try and imagine what that would taste like – all we know is that with those two, you can’t go wrong.
Hershey’s Cookies N Cream Ice Cream Cake
Iceland
The alternative Christmas pudding.
Popularity for the Christmas pudding is thinning on the ground, so why not make a new tradition with ice cream cake. It’s cold to represent the frosty weather outside, but has cookies for the warm inside which represents, oh we don’t know, some new traditions just don’t need explaining.
The title justifies it all really.
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Night Before Christmas Smash Cake
Marks and Spencer’s
Crowned winner of the most wonderful Christmas specials to grace our humble supermarkets. Marks and Sparks have seriously outdone themselves.
Appearing simply as a domed desert, most people would pass it by as a pretty Christmas cake, but take a hammer to this thing and you unlock Santa’s grotto. Tasty treats lay beneath this dome and it’s only a layer of white chocolate between you and all the sweets you could wish for.
Cracking idea (excuse the pun) and fun for all. Beneath is a creamy Madeira cake filled with buttercream and jam – what’s not to like?
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Featured Image – NewfoodsUK | M&S Tunbridge Wells
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Everton manager Sean Dyche randomly pops up in the music video for Blossoms’ new single – and he’s great
Danny Jones
Did anyone else think they’d ever see Sean Dyche make his acting debut in the role of a Northern crime boss in a silly little music video for the Blossoms?
No, us neither but that’s the bizarre alternate reality we’re living in, apparently.
Blossoms are currently working on the fifth studio album and have already released their lead single entitled, ‘To Do List (After The Break-Up)’, but now they have a new song out as well, with a rather amusing music video to go along with it and somehow Sean Dyche has found himself the star.
The Stockport band teased the curious collaboration in April, giving us just short glimpses of the Everton manager and former Burnley boss with very little explanation – all we know is that it looked funny and it was.
Dyche is still busy trying to finish the Premier League campaign as strong as possible after successfully navigating the Toffees to safety even in spite of their points deductions this season, but it sounds like keeping them up has given him enough time to moonlight as an actor.
Sending the indie five-piece on a mission to collect something of value (yes, that’s all the info we have at this point as the story is still to be continued), it looks like the Kettering-born coach has a larger role to play in whatever this narrative turns out to be.
Playing what can only be described as some kind of semi-Manc mafia figure on the hunt for a very valuable piece of art, i.e. a big giant gorilla statue – one that many Stopfordians spotted being lugged around various parts of the borough –
They also shared a little bit of BTS footage from the shoot for the music video last week. Some lovely head-bobbing and unassuming surroundings here:
As for the track itself, it’s a bit of stylistic change for the lads who’ve mastered their 80s-tinged indie formula over the past decade but it’s an absolute pop and is already stuck in our heads.
Revealing that they’ve collaborated with contemporary funk, disco and electronic icons Jungle on the track, it doesn’t take too long to hear the influences. Look forward to hearing it at Wythenshawe Park this summer.
You can watch the music video for ‘What Can I Say?’ and the ginger-goatee’d football manager extraordinaire in full character HERE.
He’s not the only footballing figure who’s made an entertainment crossover recently either.
Featured Images — Blossoms (via YouTube)/Virgin EMI
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KFC have launched their own perfume – oh, and a new burger
Danny Jones
Fast food giants KFC have launched their very own perfume in one of the weirdest marketing stunts we’ve seen in a long while.
That being said, we definitely want a bottle.
KFC‘s fried chicken-themed fragrance launches next month and is fashionably named ‘No 11 Eau de BBQ’, a nod to their newest menu item, the Ultimate BBQ Burger, which we also want in our possession as soon as humanly possible.
The franchise’s new signature scent launches in just a week’s time and, yes, you can genuinely buy it along with the new burger for a limited time only.
The UK-only release actually sold out when it came to pre-orders but Brits will be able to get their hands on another batch when the second lot drops on 7 May.
Promising a charcoal and smoky wood-scented aroma that immediately transports you to your mate’s back garden as he turns cheap burger patties into overly blackened dry pucks of meat that you definitely would’ve cooked better if you were in charge, the stunt is also helping raise money for non-profits.
Available in 100ml bottles and for just £11, 100% of the proceeds of every sale will go towards the KFC Foundation, which supports grassroots organisations empowering young people to unleash their potential and build a positive future in local communities across the country.
As for the burger that inspired it, the special edition menu item is a nod to BBQ season gradually approaching and they’ve even made a nod to our famously reliable British weather and its attempts to derail the art of outdoor grilling in a new advert.
KFC perfume and a new burger? Christmas has come well early this year.
The Ultimate BBQ Burger has already launched and will be on the menu until 9 June, priced at £6.49 or £9.99 for a box meal which comes with the burger, a regular mini fillet, regular fries, BBQ sauce and a drink.
And don’t worry, it’ll be available on delivery too — we know we’ve had problems with that when it comes to specials in the past.
As KFC’s No 11 Eau de BBQ perfume, you can wait in the online queue like everyone else HERE and let’s just say you’ll be fighting us and plenty of other Mancs for every last drop.