Marks & Spencer, aka M&S, has pulled on our heartstrings once again this year and delivered the most spectacular spread of Christmas party food.
At this time of year, if it’s not a table full of picky bits, we don’t want it.
We want every single meal presented in buffet format, and every single plate to feature a tiny portion of pastry, something on a cocktail stick, something else on a skewer, something with a piece of fruit jammed on top and some sort of novelty cheese.
Every year the supermarkets clear out space in the fridges for their selection of Christmas party food – but we all know that M&S is king when it comes to completely excessive creations for the festive season.
And the best bit? It’s all priced on a 4-for-3 offer, so you can get a free extra when you buy three items.
ADVERTISEMENT
Here are some of the best party food items we found in store.
This is not just any picky tea… this is an M&S picky tea.
ADVERTISEMENT
Party food? Sorry, I thought you said pâté food
M&S Christmas food. Credit: The Hoot Leeds
Has Heston Blumenthal got a side-hustle at M&S that he’s not telling us about?
This year’s Christmas party food features duck live parfait cleverly disguised as little clementines – adorable.
And on the same theme as unnecessarily-shaped party food, M&S also has a ‘picture perfect antipasti wreath’, which as far as we can tell is just a normal antipasti platter but in a circle.
ADVERTISEMENT
The show-stopping party-winners
You know the sort of family buffet where everyone’s asked to contribute a special item? These are the ones that will get your Aunt Linda absolutely seething with envy.
Imagine being the smug git who rocks up with steamed bao decorated in immaculate reindeer faces, or a cheesy garlic doughball sharer in the shape of a literal Christmas tree?
Not to mention the one M&S picky bit item that set our literal hearts racing – the pulled ham and rarebit crumpets.
Sign us up for those brownie points.
Battered cheese… chedd-are you listening now?
We can all agree that a cheeseboard is one of the best bits of Christmas – but imagine it all being BATTERED.
ADVERTISEMENT
M&S has got arancini balls laced with cheddar cheese and a creamy sauce, all rolled up in breadcrumbs, plus halloumi fries with a sweet chilli sip, and even melt-in-the-middle profiteroles made with cheddar instead of cream.
This is how I would like all my profiteroles to be from this day forward thank you.
This is how M&S views a take-away and it is, naturally, *fancy*.
There are teeny chip-shop style sausages in a salt and vinegar batter, with proper chippy curry sauce for dipping.
There’s also spring rolls stuffed with normal burger fillings – British beef, gherkins, and caramelised onions.
ADVERTISEMENT
Plus chicken doughnut dippers, which are… well, chicken dippers but round with a hole in the middle.
Nice to meat you
Oh yeah of course M&S has gone extremely high-brow with its charcuterie bits. What did you expect?
You can buy an entire joint of Spanish serrano ham, and just feel like an absolute boss carving tiny slithers off it in its wooden stand and special knife (included).
Or you can cheat a little and buy an entire board, beautifully assembled for you so you just whip the clingfilm off and pretend you’re an Insta-goddess.
And then there are cheeses in the shape of snowflakes. Obviously.
Featured image: The Hoot Leeds
Christmas
Gavin and Stacey Christmas special on course to break UK TV viewing figures record
Danny Jones
Gavin and Stacey is set to break yet another TV record as this year’s Christmas special and definitive series finale has become one of the UK’s most-watched scripted shows ever.
The iconic British comedy returned after a long hiatus to finally conclude the series with its first new episode in five years.
Delighting die-hard fans and comedy fans in general all over the country, millions tuned in to watch the last-ever Gavin and Stacey chapter – over 19 million, in fact.
With 12.3m watching the finale on Christmas Day alone and even more in the week following, the tally has now reached approximately 19.3m and counting.
📢 Gavin & Stacey: The Finale has become the UK’s highest rating scripted show with 19.3 million viewers and counting
Not only did this smash their own previous record of more than 18m set by the last Christmas special back in 2019 but it is well on course to cruise past the 20m mark when the official seven-day viewing figures are released, which is standard practice for assessing final ratings and viewing figures in the UK.
Almost a quarter of the viewers who helped achieve the feat were aged 16-34 as well, making it the largest young audience ever, according to the BBC.
The emotional reunion of the beloved cast looks set to see them surpass Coronation Street‘s record of 19.4m set in 2003 and could even see them beat the legendary British sitcom, Only Fools & Horses, which saw 21.3m viewers gather around the box for their 2001 Christmas day episode.
So, although the BBC states that it is the “most-watched scripted show across all broadcasters and streamers since current records began in 2002”, it still technically has a little way to go in order to match/surpass the biggest-ever tally.
That being said, when factoring in the stats from all live views and digital streams, the final numbers should see them over the line.
We had to be together to watch it go out tonight!Gavin and Stacey is a show about friendship and family. Tonight’s show has been a labour of love from start to finish and we hope you enjoy it.Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing.Happy Christmas from us both #GavinandStaceypic.twitter.com/kUKMiXUEyL
Regardless of whatever seven or indeed 28-day figure they end up on, co-creators, writers and stars James Corden and Ruth Jones have been blown away by the success of the one-off comeback.
Writing by way of recognition and as a thank you to the fans, they said: “We are completely overwhelmed by the audience response to our show and to these astonishing viewing figures.
“Gavin & Stacey really does belong to the audience and we are beyond thrilled that so many people enjoyed watching it this Christmas. A huge thank you to Charlotte Moore and the BBC for backing us these past 17 years.”
The ratings and overall reaction to the show have also been overwhelmingly positive, with millions tearing up over the long-awaited storyline – even if some of those watching pointed out one little problem…
Moore, BBC’s Chief Content Officer, went on to add: “The numbers are truly outstanding, unprecedented even! It’s the show the entire nation has been talking about over the last week so it’s no surprise that it’s not only smashed its own record but has become the UK’s biggest scripted show.
“Ruth and James’ creation is a true homegrown success story, and their finale is a comedy masterpiece. It’s made us laugh and cry together in a way that only Gavin & Stacey can.”
The final viewership for the 2024 special will be published on Monday, 6 January and take into account viewings across all platforms up to Thursday, 2 Jan – they already look destined for another entry in the history books.
The lyrics to Auld Lang Syne for New Year’s Eve, and what the song means
Daisy Jackson
The clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, the confetti is thrown, the kisses are exchanged, and then up starts Auld Lang Syne and you realise, once again, that you don’t know the lyrics to the iconic song.
This classic song is traditionally sung as we welcome in a new year, but you may (like us) find yourself singing the words as ‘dah daaah dah dah daaah dah dah, dah dah daaah dah Auld Lang Syne.”
Well it’s time to stop that behaviour and learn yourselves the Auld Lang Syne lyrics, quick time, before we hit 2025.
The text of the song is actually from a Robert Burns poem, penned way back in 1788 and based on an old Scottish folk song.
It was set to a tune a decade later, and since then has been recorded by dozens of different artists.
Auld Lang Syne can loosely translate as ‘old long since’, or ‘days gone by’ or ‘old times’.
So its meaning roughly is ‘for the sale of old times’.
There are longer versions of the song, but the lyrics to the most commonly-played version of Auld Lang Syne are below.
So hold hands with your loved ones, crack open the champers, and ring in a very happy new year.
What are the lyrics to Auld Lang Syne?
Fireworks on New Year’s Eve, when the song Auld Lang Syne is traditionally sung
Should auld acquaintance be forgot And never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot And the days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear For auld lang syne We’ll drink a cup of kindness yet For the sake of auld lang syne
And surely you will buy your cup And surely I’ll buy mine! We’ll take a cup of kindness yet For the sake of auld lang syne
We two have paddled in the stream From morning sun till night The seas between us Lord and swell Since the days of auld lang syne
For old acquaintance be forgot And never brought to mind Should old acquaintance be forgot For the sake of auld lang syne?
For old acquaintance be forgot And never brought to mind Should old acquaintance be forgot In the days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear For auld lang syne We’ll drink a cup of kindness yet For the sake of auld lang syne
Daisy Jackson -
23rd December 2022 
