Marks & Spencer, aka M&S, has pulled on our heartstrings once again this year and delivered the most spectacular spread of Christmas party food.
At this time of year, if it’s not a table full of picky bits, we don’t want it.
We want every single meal presented in buffet format, and every single plate to feature a tiny portion of pastry, something on a cocktail stick, something else on a skewer, something with a piece of fruit jammed on top and some sort of novelty cheese.
Every year the supermarkets clear out space in the fridges for their selection of Christmas party food – but we all know that M&S is king when it comes to completely excessive creations for the festive season.
And the best bit? It’s all priced on a 4-for-3 offer, so you can get a free extra when you buy three items.
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Here are some of the best party food items we found in store.
This is not just any picky tea… this is an M&S picky tea.
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Party food? Sorry, I thought you said pâté food
M&S Christmas food. Credit: The Hoot Leeds
Has Heston Blumenthal got a side-hustle at M&S that he’s not telling us about?
This year’s Christmas party food features duck live parfait cleverly disguised as little clementines – adorable.
And on the same theme as unnecessarily-shaped party food, M&S also has a ‘picture perfect antipasti wreath’, which as far as we can tell is just a normal antipasti platter but in a circle.
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The show-stopping party-winners
You know the sort of family buffet where everyone’s asked to contribute a special item? These are the ones that will get your Aunt Linda absolutely seething with envy.
Imagine being the smug git who rocks up with steamed bao decorated in immaculate reindeer faces, or a cheesy garlic doughball sharer in the shape of a literal Christmas tree?
Not to mention the one M&S picky bit item that set our literal hearts racing – the pulled ham and rarebit crumpets.
Sign us up for those brownie points.
Battered cheese… chedd-are you listening now?
We can all agree that a cheeseboard is one of the best bits of Christmas – but imagine it all being BATTERED.
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M&S has got arancini balls laced with cheddar cheese and a creamy sauce, all rolled up in breadcrumbs, plus halloumi fries with a sweet chilli sip, and even melt-in-the-middle profiteroles made with cheddar instead of cream.
This is how I would like all my profiteroles to be from this day forward thank you.
This is how M&S views a take-away and it is, naturally, *fancy*.
There are teeny chip-shop style sausages in a salt and vinegar batter, with proper chippy curry sauce for dipping.
There’s also spring rolls stuffed with normal burger fillings – British beef, gherkins, and caramelised onions.
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Plus chicken doughnut dippers, which are… well, chicken dippers but round with a hole in the middle.
Nice to meat you
Oh yeah of course M&S has gone extremely high-brow with its charcuterie bits. What did you expect?
You can buy an entire joint of Spanish serrano ham, and just feel like an absolute boss carving tiny slithers off it in its wooden stand and special knife (included).
Or you can cheat a little and buy an entire board, beautifully assembled for you so you just whip the clingfilm off and pretend you’re an Insta-goddess.
And then there are cheeses in the shape of snowflakes. Obviously.
Featured image: The Hoot Leeds
Christmas
10 of the very best British Christmas specials and episodes to watch on TV this holiday season
Danny Jones
‘Tis the season to sit on your backside and do nothing but gorge on mountains of food and watch TV for hours on end as you make your way through all the Christmas specials and best of British telly you can muster.
Now, there’s nothing worse than when it feels like there’s nothing on you’re stranded in that spot on the sofa that’s too comfy to vacate, so that’s where we come in.
Along with all the usual stuff you’ll find in the TV guide at this time of year, we thought we’d round up some of the very best British Christmas specials to have ever aired – that way you’ll have a steady supply of festive viewing and barely need to move an inch.
Let’s get stuck into it, shall we?
The best British Christmas TV specials of all time
Where else to start than with the pride of Wales and a series that millions watch from start to finish every year? Gavin & Stacey. Still revered as one of the most beloved comedies to ever come out of the UK, their two festive specials are also part and parcel (pardon the pun) of many Brits’ Christmas.
It still feels a bit weird going back and watching Corden as Smithy before the days of American fame, that first Nessa entrance; Uncle Bryn being, well, Bryn – even the soundtrack takes us back, but with a third special and ultimate ‘Finale’ airing at 9pm on BBC One on 25 December, it’s time to do it all over again.
‘OH! What’s occurin’?…’
9. The Office – ‘Christmas Special’ (Part 1 and 2)
Next up is not only this particular telephile’s ultimate Christmas TV event but possibly one of the very best episodes of British telly in history. Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant broke new ground with this genre-defining comedy and while they fine-tuned cringe throughout the series, this was pure heart.
Rom-com juggernaut Richard Curtis dubbed this two-part Christmas special spread across just 96 minutes as the culmination of what he believed to be “one of the great romantic stories of all time” between Tim and Dawn, and the perfect end to a “masterpiece”. You’ll hear no arguments from us (me).
Is it the best Christmas special in British TV history?
8. The Royle Family – Christmas Specials (1999, 2000, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2012)
Another classic not only British but fundamentally Manc comedy, The Royle Family might just be one of the best things Greater Manchester ever produced – and that’s saying something – and perfectly captures the comfortable monotony of sitting in the front of the telly for hours on end.
That goes doubly so for the multiple Christmas specials, of which there are many and while they all do a great job of creating that familiar feeling of a Northern front room that the series was so good at throughout its entire run, but the 1999 Christmas with the Royle Family special where the late great Caroline Aherne’s water breaks and that tear-jerking scene with Ricky Tomlinson… it gets us every time.
Set just down the road in Wythenshawe, it still has us weeping just as much now as it did back in the day.
7. Peep Show – ‘Seasonal Beatings’
Cauliflower may or may not be traditional but one thing we can agree on is that watching Peep Show‘s hilariously miserable, ill-mannered, tense ever-awkward and bloody brilliant Christmas episode from 2010 is very much part of our annual holiday ritual.
The fifth episode of the seventh season – which many would rightly champion as peak-era Peep Show – may only last less than half an hour but it feels like an eternity of familiar festive agony and walking on egg-shells before the fantastic crescendo that is Mark pouring gravy into a shredder. Merry ChrisMark!
If you don’t think Peep Show’s Christmas special/festive episode is one of the best in British TV history, you’re just wrong, sorry.
6. Ted Lasso – ‘Carol of the Bells’
Approaching the halfway mark and we’re going to be somewhat controversial and introduce not only a very contemporary pick but one that isn’t technically a UK production, but the show is set entirely in England and there’s one thing it has tried to be since the start it’s very overly British.
Now, we’re going to qualify that we have a weird relationship with Ted Lasso; it’s by no means the funniest thing we’ve ever seen and the broad-strokes American look at football is frustrating at times, but one thing this show does do well is being incredibly sincere and never more so that in its Christmas special. Plus, you get to hear Hannah Waddingham sing her pipes off – what’s not to like?
Christmas is about reminding your loved ones how much they mean – regardless of what you make of the show, this episode nails that.
5. Extras – Christmas Special (Part 1 and 2)
Our penultimate pick is also our second Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant creation: the Extras Christmas special, which aired back 2007 and still has some of the funniest gags in the history of British TV as far as we’re concerned.
Managing to rope in even more big names for this equally cringeworthy and even painful to watch at times conclusion to the show which also ran for just two series like The Office, the frustrating arc of Gervais’ main character Andy Millman is such a great payoff when all is said and done. Only an hour and a half in total, well worth sticking on if you’ve never seen it before.
Just look at how many famous faces they managed to rope in for this fantastic two-parter. (Credit: Press Image via BBC)
4. Doctor Who – ‘End of Time’ (Part 1 and 2)
From a David Tennant cameo to him in arguably one of his greatest-ever performances in his final full-time appearance as the space-travelling Time Lord in what we are officially declaring the best Doctor Who Christmas special to date and some of Russell T. Davies’ very best work.
It’s hard to believe it’s been nearly 15 whole years since the national treasure said goodbye to the role in the gut-wrenching two-parter which also saw the return of John Simm as ‘The Master’ but we’re still confident that there hasn’t been a better Xmas/New Year’s Day special pairing since this one. Here’s hoping RTD’s recent return will mean this year’s is back up to his very high standards.
That delivery of ‘I don’t wanna go’ still makes us well up.
As we gradually approach the end of our list, we want to give so much deserved love to what we think isn’t just the underdog of British telly but an unsung hero when it comes to spotlighting friendship, positive male relationships and downright fraternal love. It’s Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Finishing – the festive editions. We know we’re biased but we really love the one with Paul Heaton.
If you’ve ever sat down to watch an episode of this laid-back laughter-filled show, you’ll know that these two can often achieve that warm, heartfelt and cosy feeling regardless of whether it’s Christmas or not. It’s also a great antidote to any latent toxic masculinity left on screen and with some serious emotion being laid bare in these Christmas specials episodes especially, for us, this is what reality TV should be.
Ok, we promise this is the last Merchant mention on this list as we’re intensely aware of some bias on our end, but this straight-to-TV BBC short film really took us by surprise when we first saw it and is well worth setting aside a nice round hour to enjoy.
Not only does the core premise feel like a very relatable scenario for many parents rushing to sort out everyone’s Christmas presents in time but it’s a touching tale of family, kindness and sparing that extra bit of patience during what can be a tough time of year for lots of people. You’ll love it.
1. Only Fools & Horses – ‘Heroes and Villians’
And finally, what better place to round off this list than with only the series consistently voted the greatest British comedy of all time but the episode that is widely considered its best-ever Christmas special? It can only be Del Boy and Rodney dressed up as Batman and Robin in ‘Heroes and Villians’.
Now, there is a whopping total of 18 Only Fools Christmas specials and we’re sure everyone has their own personal favourite, but surely there isn’t a single one more iconic than the first episode of the legendary 1996 festive trilogy. It also sets up events for ‘Time on Our Hands’, one of the most moving scripts they ever wrote, but it all starts with the much-loved duo plodding through the mist in capes.
It’s still regarded as the best British comedy ever, but where does it rank on the list of all-time greatest Christmas TV specials?
A very Christmas special mention…
Father Ted – ‘A Christmassy Ted’
Not technically British we know but the cult Irish hit remains one of the funniest comedies to ever come out of our corner of the world and if you’ve never seen Ted, Dougal and a bunch of other clergymen get stuck in a women’s lingerie section like it’s a warzone, you’re seriously missing out.
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Mrs Doyle is her usual quick-witted self and Father Jack can be found making the occasional outburst from his chair as usual and overall, ‘A Christmassy Ted’ is a very funny bit of seasonal telly.
Not strictly British but still one of the best Christmas specials in TV history if you ask us.
Come on, you have to agree – we absolutely smashed that.
Some old, some new, some maybe a little bit out of left field but all absolutely guaranteed to keep you entertained this festive period.
If you think we’ve made the cardinal sin of missing an all-time TV great then please feel free to give it to us in the comments and educate on the best British Christmas specials.
Greater Manchester’s Christmas crime rate is one of the highest in the UK, according to study
Emily Sergeant
New research has revealed the UK regions that should expect to see a spike in crime over the festive season this year… and it’s pretty grim reading for Mancs.
For several years running now, our region has unfortunately found itself near the top of the list when it comes to seeing the highest rates of crime over the Christmas holidays, and according to a recent study conducted by ADT, 2024 is unfortunately no different.
With what’s supposed to be ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ only a few days away now, home security experts have decided to analyse crime rates from December 2020-2022, and have highlighted the percentage difference in crime during the festive period in a bid to reveal where ‘Christmas crime’ is most prevalent.
Cleveland Police still has the highest reported crime rate in 2024, according to the study, with approximately 147.7 recorded crimes per 1,000 population, and more than 5,000 police reports of burglaries in early 2024 – with ONS data revealing 79% of which were residential burglaries.
West Yorkshire Police also stays in second place, with crimes in the county having risen by 20% in 2024, going from a crime rate of 111.61 in December 2021, to 133.8 crimes per 1,000 population by March 2024.
And then, we have Greater Manchester.
Once again, Greater Manchester Police ranks third for the areas with the highest crime rates in England and Wales, with 129.7 crimes per 1,000 population.
ADT’s research this year found that theft offences accounted for almost a third of all crimes committed in our region by March 2024, while residential burglaries and shoplifting had over 16,000 reported accounts, respectively.
Top 10 Christmas crime ‘hotspots’ in the UK for 2024
Rank
Police force area
Crime rate per 1,000 population
1
Cleveland Police
147.7
2
West Yorkshire Police
133.8
3
Greater Manchester Police
129.7
4
West Midlands Police
125.9
5
Merseyside Police
119.0
6
South Yorkshire Police
116.7
7
Humberside Police
108.1
8
Durham Police
101.8
9
Gwent Police
101.8
10
Metropolitan Police
100.2
Home security expert Michele Bennett, who is ADT UK’s General Manager, has shared some tips on how best to deter uninvited guests from your home during the Christmas period, and says it’s “important to remain vigilant” at this time of year by enhancing your home security.
“This will ensure you and your loved ones have a safe and enjoyable holiday experience,” she explains.
“Several proactive measures can be taken to deter intruders throughout the holidays, including installing visible security measures such as smart alarm systems or burglar alarms, with visible cameras and alarms display signs that indicate your home is highly protected.
“Also, secure your doors, windows, and other potential entry points with strong locks and deadbolts… and indoor and outdoor lighting is a good option to maintain a lived-in appearance by using smart plugs connected to lights, motion-sensing cameras, and video doorbells in and around entrances and other key areas of your home to make it less attractive to burglars.”
Daisy Jackson -
23rd December 2022 
