News
Count Binface says he’ll put a £2 price cap on Wigan kebabs if he wins the Makerfield by-election
Go on lad.
Count Binface is officially running in the Makerfield by-election and has now shared his hilarious manifesto with the public.
Price-capped Wigan kebabs and 99p ice creams, cyclists being forced to ride unicycles if they break the Highway Code, and the renaming of HS2 to ‘FFS1’ are just some of the declarations being made by Makerfield by-election candidate, Count Binface.
In case you’re not up-to-speed on the Makerfield by-election coming up on 18 June – which was called after Labour’s Josh Simons announced he was standing down – there are now a total of 14 hopefuls set to contest the parliamentary seat.
Greater Manchester Mayor, Andy Burnham, is by far the most well-known candidate in the running, alongside other names like Conservative’s Michael Winstanley, Liberal Democrats’ Jake Austin, the Green Party’s Sarah Wakefield, and Reform UK’s Michael Kenyon.
But Burnham is not the only big name… there’s also Count Binface too, of course.
Count Binface – previously known as Lord Buckethead – is the alias of comedian and perennial candidate, Jonathan David Harvey.
He announced his intentions to run for the Makerfield seat last month, before officially publishing his manifesto today (3 June), which includes 20 pledges – some serious, others less so… we presume.
On a more local level to the Makerfield area, if Count Binface wins the by-election, he has pledged to re-phase the traffic lights on Liverpool Road to ease congestion, increase the free parking limit at the Gerard Centre to three hours, and to make Galloways’ Full Monty Bin Lid breakfast the country’s new national dish.
And then on a more comical level – yes, even more comical than a new national dish – this is where you’ll find pledges like making sure there’s WiFi on trains that works and also ‘trains that work’ too, as well as the bringing back of Ceefax teletext for all Greater Manchester residents, and the increasing of points for tries in Rugby League from four to five ‘in line with inflation’.
Read more:
Oh yeah, and there’s the promise that Count Binface will be the UK’s entrant to Eurovision in 2027, let’s not forget that.
Anyway, like we said, the Makerfield by-election is coming up on 18 June, and you can find out more information about all the candidates on the Wigan Council website here.
Featured Image – Count Binface
News
Chinatown restaurant issues CCTV appeal after customer literally RUNS away without paying
Daisy Jackson
Noodle Alley, a cosy restaurant in Chinatown, has shared CCTV footage of a customer literally running away with an unpaid bill.
The noodle bar is famed for its spicy dishes, hailing from co-owner Wendy Ren’s native Sichuan province.
It’s become a firm favourite in Manchester’s Chinatown since launching in 2023 – but the team have been left stung by a customer dine-and-dash this week.
And it’s the most literal case of a dine-and-dash we’ve ever seen, with CCTV footage shared by Noodle Alley showing the moment the customer sprints out the door, with impressive speed for a man in sliders.
The video also shows the staff chasing the runaway customer, to no avail.
In a heartfelt statement shared online, Noodle Alley said that ‘every meal matters’ when small businesses like theirs are struggling with rising costs.
They also said that the CCTV has been sent to the police in the hopes of catching the man.
In their full statement, Noodle Alley wrote: “Today, someone ran away from our restaurant without paying.
“This isn’t just about the money. Small independent businesses are already struggling with rising costs, and dealing with people who deliberately run away without paying makes it even harder.
“Every meal, every member of staff, and every genuine customer matters.
“Our team reacted immediately and tried to catch him, but he disappeared within seconds.
“We have a very clear CCTV image of the individual, and all the evidence has been passed to the relevant authorities.
“To everyone who chooses to support small independent businesses like ours, thank you. Your kindness and support help keep businesses like ours going.”
Read more
Featured image: The Manc Group
News
Murder investigation launched after injured woman found dead at house in Bolton
Emily Sergeant
A murder investigation has been launched following the death of a woman in Bolton.
Greater Manchester Police (GMP) explained that officers responded to reports of an assault on Yewdale Avenue in Bolton at around 3:15am yesterday morning (4 August 2026), and when they arrived on the scene, they found a woman who had ‘sustained injuries’ and was unresponsive
Despite the best efforts of emergency services, the woman – who is said to be in her 30s – was pronounced dead at the scene.
A 36-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of murder and remains in custody for questioning, police confirmed.
Police say they believe this is an ‘isolated incident’ with no wider public threat.
With a murder investigation now proceeding at pace, GMP is appealing to the public for information. They said in a statement: “We understand how troubling this news will be, and whilst formal identification has yet to take place, the believed family are being supported by specialist officers.”
“A scene will remain in place as officers continue the investigation and we will have an increased police presence in the area.
“I’d like to reassure you that this was an isolated incident that is not believed to pose a wider risk to the public, and we currently have a man in custody in relation to the incident.
“I urge anyone who may have information to support our enquiries to please come forward”.
Read more:
Can you help? Anyone with information that may assist police enquiries is asked to contact GMP on 0161 856 2270, quoting log 321 of 04/08/26.
Alternatively, information can be provided anonymously to Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.
Featured Image – Google Maps
Emily Sergeant -
3rd June 2026 
