Heinz has created its own Christmas dinner in a tin – and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Comprised of pigs in blankets, “big chunks” of turkey, Brussel sprouts, sage and onion stuffing, roast potatoes, red cabbage, gravy, and cranberry sauce, the company has – seemingly unironically – crammed one of the best meals of the year into a depressingly compact, 400g aluminum tin.
The canned Christmas dinner is being marketed by Heinz as an answer to the food shortages the UK is currently experiencing, with a brand spokesperson championing it “a winner”.
Listed for sale online only, it has been released as a limited edition of just 500 cans – with the company already hinting it could roll it out in greater numbers next year if it proves a hit with shoppers.
Given that it’s already sold out online since going live this morning, that may well end up being the case.
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Brand representative Anke Von Hanstein said: “It is made for those with a big love for hearty festive flavours and tastes just perfect with a slice of warm crusty bread.
“Any soup that includes pigs in blankets and roasties is a winner in our eyes.”
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Technically more of a soup than a proper Christmas dinner, the Christmas Dinner Big Soup is priced at £1.50 per can and contains two servings.
Its roll-out has definitely caused some amusement online, but it also points to a darker reality as Christmas approaches, living costs rise and the fear of empty shelves becomes a reality – with many supermarkets already using cardboard cutouts to conceal the numerous gaps caused by pandemic and Brexit-related shortages.
Of course, who knows – it could always catch on and the country could discard its beloved roast dinners in favour of a tin of canned soup. It seems like anything goes these days.
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It’s not the first time such an aberration to our favourite meal has appeared, either.
In 2013, Chris Godfrey developed a Christmas dinner in a can for GAME – a ‘nine-layer feast’ made especially for “gamers who can’t tear themselves away from their new games and consoles on Christmas Day.”
Starting with a scrambled egg and bacon layer for breakfast, it was followed by lunch (mincemeat pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, Brussel sprouts or broccoli with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips).
The can then ended with dessert, made up of a Christmas pudding and a custard layer.
The ‘Christmas tinner’ fast became a meme, even earning its own subreddit.
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One of the most famous memes read: “the thing about Britain is this could be a joke but it could also be real.”
Well, we’re certainly through the looking glass now.
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A popular Manc streetwear brand is hosting a big festival to mark their fifth birthday
Danny Jones
Popular Manchester streetwear and footwear brand, CLINTS Inc., is hosting its first-ever festival to mark five whole years in fashion – and it’s going to be big.
The highly sought-after clothing and sneaker make started out from a bedroom in Moston and is now a premium label in British urban, skating, UK grime and hip-hop culture, having been worn by many famous names and welcoming even more through the door of their Deansgate shop.
Located in the ABC Buildings on Quay Street next to Spinningfields, the flagship CLINTS store opened back in 2022 and is much more than a place to buy some new drip: it’s a place that showcases art, music, and a whole sub-sect of shopping beyond just skate silhouettes and trendy trainers.
As hack as it might sound to some, wearing this brand comes along with immersing yourself in the wider style and scene; the very same scene being celebrated in tandem with their fifth birthday.
Not to tease you more than the company already has, but as you can see, details are scarce.
There is no lineup or even location for this festival… only a date.
CLINTS Fest (the inaugural one, at that) will take place on Saturday, 6 September – presumably at or around the 21-23 Quay Street site, but who knows?
Fans of the brand can sign up for the mailing list for the latest details, and pre-sale tickets are also available now, with a couple of clicks on the website revealing that the event is set to start at 12 noon and wrap up around 10:30pm.
If you’re interested, you can register your interest HERE.
Credit: The Manc Group
While you can expect the festival to be packed to the rafters with die-hard followers of all things CLINTS and streetwear, they’re not the only local indie holding a special one-off this month.
In fact, this weekend, a fellow trainer specialist who is still just starting out life in the fashion game but is already making waves reminiscent of their contemporaries.
Here’s hoping this is just the beginning of the journey and they’re the next Manc brand to become a national success story.
Featured Images — The Manc Group/CLINTS Inc (via Instagram)
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Alex Sanderson summons Rudyard Kipling as Sale Sharks scrape into the semi-finals
Danny Jones
Director of Rugby Alex Sanderson referenced the famous Rudyard Kipling after Sale Sharks managed to book their place in the playoffs of this year’s Gallagher Premiership following a nail-biter of a fixture against Exeter Chiefs.
The Sharks sealed their spot in the semi-finals with a 30-26 win over the Chiefs on Saturday night, with a trio of tries, a singular pen and calmness when it came to conversions proving just enough to make it to full time.
Speaking on the narrow score at Sandy Park, Sanderson himself applauded that same composure during his post-match duties, casually quoting Kipling ahead of the next big game.
Writing on social media after nerves had just about settled, the club simply said: “Apologies for raising the heart rate, Sharks Family… but Saturday we go again.”
Beginning with an expression of that same defiant spirit that has seen them across the line on so many occasions, the 45-year-old told TNT Sports, “We got another Monday in us.”
The Sale Sharks coach went on to add: “So if you can keep your head, when everybody else is losing theirs – I think that’s the old Rudyard Kipling poem – you’re in such a better place on the back of that, knowing what we can fix from the Leicester game and what we can do better from today.”
It’s not every day you hear sportsmen calling up the poetic words of the beloved British-India writer, but it certainly impressed plenty of supporters, though Sanderson has always been popular among fans for his candour and charisma in interviews.
Ultimately, it was Rekeiti Ma’asi-White, Bevan Rodd, Luke Cowan-Dickie and George Ford that the Greater Manchester outfit had to thank for the electrifying finish
You can see how much it meant, clear as day…
Not done yet…
Thank you for your support Sharks Family, it’s truly appreciated!
Sale Sharks will now take on Leicester Tigers (who the local side finished just behind in third place following the result against the Chiefs) in the Premiership semis as they look to get revenge for previous painful meetings
Are you feeling hopeful, Sharks Family?
You can see the full highlights from Sale Sharks’ tense victory over the Exeter Chiefs down below.
Alex Sanderson channelled Rudyard Kipling and Sale scrapped like true Sharks.
Georgina Pellant -
1st November 2021 
