Heinz has created its own Christmas dinner in a tin – and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Comprised of pigs in blankets, “big chunks” of turkey, Brussel sprouts, sage and onion stuffing, roast potatoes, red cabbage, gravy, and cranberry sauce, the company has – seemingly unironically – crammed one of the best meals of the year into a depressingly compact, 400g aluminum tin.
The canned Christmas dinner is being marketed by Heinz as an answer to the food shortages the UK is currently experiencing, with a brand spokesperson championing it “a winner”.
Listed for sale online only, it has been released as a limited edition of just 500 cans – with the company already hinting it could roll it out in greater numbers next year if it proves a hit with shoppers.
Given that it’s already sold out online since going live this morning, that may well end up being the case.
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Brand representative Anke Von Hanstein said: “It is made for those with a big love for hearty festive flavours and tastes just perfect with a slice of warm crusty bread.
“Any soup that includes pigs in blankets and roasties is a winner in our eyes.”
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Technically more of a soup than a proper Christmas dinner, the Christmas Dinner Big Soup is priced at £1.50 per can and contains two servings.
Its roll-out has definitely caused some amusement online, but it also points to a darker reality as Christmas approaches, living costs rise and the fear of empty shelves becomes a reality – with many supermarkets already using cardboard cutouts to conceal the numerous gaps caused by pandemic and Brexit-related shortages.
Of course, who knows – it could always catch on and the country could discard its beloved roast dinners in favour of a tin of canned soup. It seems like anything goes these days.
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It’s not the first time such an aberration to our favourite meal has appeared, either.
In 2013, Chris Godfrey developed a Christmas dinner in a can for GAME – a ‘nine-layer feast’ made especially for “gamers who can’t tear themselves away from their new games and consoles on Christmas Day.”
Starting with a scrambled egg and bacon layer for breakfast, it was followed by lunch (mincemeat pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, Brussel sprouts or broccoli with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips).
The can then ended with dessert, made up of a Christmas pudding and a custard layer.
The ‘Christmas tinner’ fast became a meme, even earning its own subreddit.
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One of the most famous memes read: “the thing about Britain is this could be a joke but it could also be real.”
Well, we’re certainly through the looking glass now.
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Joey Barton officially sentenced over offensive online posts
Danny Jones
Retired footballer Joey Barton has officially been sentenced following a series of offensive posts on social media over the past year or so.
Six counts pertaining to three individuals, in particular, were highlighted when he appeared for his final hearing at Liverpool Crown Court on Monday, 8 December: online abuse directed at fellow ex-pros Eni Aluko, Lucy Ward and broadcaster Jeremy Vine.
Charged and now finally found guilty of ‘grossly offensive electronic communication with intent to cause distress or anxiety’, Joey Barton has been given a six-month prison sentence – suspended for 18 months, however, meaning he won’t serve jail time unless he reoffends during this period.
Here he is queuing up outside the Crown Court earlier today:
BREAKING: Former footballer Joey Barton given six-month prison sentence suspended for 18 months over "grossly offensive" social media posts about Jeremy Vine, Lucy Ward and Eni Aluko. pic.twitter.com/dQuAAT1mQu
For context, the social media posts in question refer to the ones made on X (previously known as Twitter) and directed at the aforementioned public figures.
The former Manchester City player and Liverpool youth product, who is originally from Merseyside but is now based around Widnes in Cheshire, was found guilty on Friday despite insisting his innocence throughout.
Barton – now 43 and having become a vocal far-right commentator – compared Aluko and Ward to two of the most infamous convicted serial killers in British history, writing that they were “the Fred and Rose West of football commentary” back in January 2024.
He also labelled radio host and TV presenter, Vine, a “bike nonce” in a post that he later went on to dismiss as nothing more than “crude banter” and an attempt at “dark and stupid humour”, stating that he has no intention of actually suggesting he was a paedophile.
Elsewhere in the court appearance, Barton claimed that he is a victim of “political prosecution”; nevertheless, the judge found that the one-time England international (who also played for Newcastle, QPR, Burnley, Rangers and Marseille) “crossed the line between free speech and a crime.”
You can see the moment Judge Andrew Menary handed down the verdict, which will see him avoid time in custody once more, in full down below.
As per an official update via the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS), Senior Prosecutor Callum Bryce of CPS Mersey-Cheshire said: “Between early January and mid-March 2024, Barton subjected three public figures to offences of malicious communications.
“Barton said in his evidence before the court that in some of his messages he was trying to make a serious point in a provocative way and that in others he was simply joking.
“The finding of the jury confirmed that his conduct had gone beyond any joke and his messages were grossly offensive with the purpose of causing anxiety and distress to his victims.”
It’s also worth noting that he has been charged, found guilty and sentenced before already this year.
Greater Manchester claims I’m A Celeb title again as Salford YouTuber Angry Ginge crowned 2025 winner
Emily Sergeant
Greater Manchester has reigned supreme once again, as for the second year running, someone from our region has been crowned I’m A Celebrity champion.
And this year, the King of the Jungle is Salford YouTuber, Angry Ginge.
Millions of viewers from across the UK tuned in last night to see Morgan Burtwistle – who goes by the name Angry Ginge or just Ginge, based off his internet username – be crowned 2025’s winner of popular ITV reality competition, I’m A Celebrity..., and watched as last year’s champion, Bolton boyband member Danny Jones, handed over the crown to his fellow northerner.
After spending three gruelling weeks in the Australian camp, and creating plenty of memorable moments in the process, the 24-year-old social media star beat out TV personality Tom Read Wilson for the title.
Ginge became the winner of the show’s 25th series by also beating fellow contestants like ex-EastEnders star Shona McGarty, and fellow Mancunian, rapper Aitch.
The Salford lad was left speechless after hosts Ant and Dec called his name as the winner, and described it as an ‘amazing’ moment.
“Honestly, [it’s] a dream come true,” he added. “I didn’t think I’d go all this way, never mind win, so thank you to everyone who voted.”
As former McFly star Danny Jones came to hand over the crown to Ginge, he said: “There you go, all the way from Bolton to Manchester.”
For those who were unfamiliar with Ginge before his I’m A Celeb stardom, the 24-year-old had become known for his rants about football, especially about his team Manchester United – but in 2021, he exploded in popularity even further when he uploaded a skit video about struggling to get chips on a night out.
Since then, he has turned into one of the most popular streamers and internet personalities in the UK with 1.4 million followers.
And now, he can add King of the Jungle to those accolades.
Georgina Pellant -
1st November 2021 
