Sport

Someone’s imagined what a date night with different football managers would be like — and now we want to date Ian Holloway

We would have written this sooner but we've been too busy trying get a hold of their numbers.

Danny Jones Danny Jones - 27th September 2023

Someone on Twitter—sorry, X, has put together a hypothetical thread of what different football managers would be like on a date and we genuinely haven’t stopped laughing.

It’s times like these that we remember how much we love the internet.

The absolutely deviant genius behind this is a lady named Alexandra Haddow: a writer, comedian, columnist and self-proclaimed ‘fashion magpie’ who decided to turn her comic chops to the world of football and footy managers, specifically.

So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to date, say, Pep Guardiola or Mikel Arteta, this may or may not give you some idea of what it might be like. I mean, not really but it’s hilarious and, we’ll warn you, it’s more than a bit naughty.

There’s a total of 15 different imaginary dates with 15 different football managers. Few rival Keegan’s satisfaction levels.
Sadly, Pep couldn’t perform in this fantasy fixture.
Southgate’s too nice for a one-night stand.

We’d try and describe how we’re feeling after reading these but we’ve only just got up after fainting.

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It goes without saying that these spicy takes aren’t only an absolute crease but they’ll probably get you more hot under the collar than all three Fifty Shades books combined.

We genuinely struggled to pick our favourite but her vision of going out with former Leicester, Blackpool and QPR coach, Ian Holloway, had us literally dripping with tears of laughter: “Takes you to life drawing & brings magic mushrooms for both of you. You get kicked out for giggling. Ends up a twilight stroll by the river with ice creams discussing philosophy & your favourite sweet wrappers. Quick one in the bushes on the way home for a laugh.”

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Honestly, we could be here all day sharing these fiery fantasy dates but we’ll leave you to enjoy them at your own (p)leisure.

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Big up Alexandra for putting her mind firmly in the gutter simply for our amusement. She’s also playing here in Manchester next month at Cane and Grain in Northern Quarter in case you fancy enjoying her funnies in person.

The London-based comic has been supporting Frankie Boyle on tour and has received rave reviews following this year’s Edinburgh Festival.

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You can grab tickets for her ‘Not My Finest Hour’ show on 9 October HERE.

Last one, we promise. ‘Big Sam’ would be the ride of your life and you most likely wouldn’t survive…

No words.

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Featured Image — Wikimedia Commons/The Manc Group/@BeersnBlues (via Twitter)

Sport

Tributes pour in following the death of beloved Man United Disabled Supporters’ Association secretary

Danny Jones Danny Jones Chas Banks MUSDA secretary death tributes

Tributes are pouring following the news that Chas Banks, the Manchester United Disabled Supporters’ Association’s (MUDSA) long-serving secretary, has sadly passed away aged 74.

While he may not be a name known to most football fans in Greater Manchester, within the walls of Old Trafford, Chas Banks is just as important as any past player or manager, as his work helping develop disability provision, support and facilities at the club has been crucial for generations of fans.

Having been a part of the vital fan organisation ever since 1997, the year after he became disabled himself, the MUDSA legend and loyal servant “worked tirelessly to improve the experiences of disabled supporters not just at Manchester United but across our game in the years since.

Chas Banks MBE passed away following a short illness and Man United fans, along with those associated with the club, have been sharing tributes to “a true Red” through and through online.

Sharing the news in an official club announcement, United said they were “profoundly saddened by the loss of our longstanding friend.”

Having been attending the Theatre of Dreams since 1957, much of Banks’ life has been spent in and around the club and after being named the MUDSA secretary in 2016, his work with the Supporters’ Trust, Manchester United Foundation and the wider local community has been vital for so many.

“Chas always sought to improve the environment for fans and MUDSA members”, the statement continues; “he helped shape and drive forward the club’s £11 million investment in the stadium’s accessible facilities that created 118 new wheelchair positions and 158 new amenity seats, doubling the capacity of these sections in Old Trafford.

“As part of this project, the South Stand platform and Ability Suite were also upgraded and this is where Chas would often be found on matchdays and where he held many of his famous MUDSA events. 

As for the Disabled Supporters’ Association themselves, they shared a brief but heartfelt statement on their website, expressing their “great sadness” as well as asking fellow Reds to respect his family’s privacy during this difficult time.

They went on to add: “Chas worked extremely hard for MUDSA as well as many other organisations he was involved with and will be deeply missed by all who knew him. This Friday’s MUDSA Annual Dinner would have been Chas’ 25th [anniversary], and it will go ahead in his honour.”

https://x.com/RainbowDevils/status/1851655446911930830

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Club COO Collette Roche added: “This is truly devastating news for all of us at the club who knew and worked with Chas. He was an important figure within our fan community and represented MUDSA with integrity and passion, as well as playing a significant role on our Fans’ Forum for almost a decade.

“Chas was a relentless advocate for the interests of fans with disabilities and played such an important part in driving forward the development of our accessible facilities at the stadium.

“We send our sincere condolences to Chas’s family and friends. The best tribute we can pay to Chas is to continue strengthening the bond between the club and MUDSA and continuing his hard work to make our game accessible for all.”

As a token of observance, a special wreath will be placed in the Ability Suite ahead of kick-off against Leicester tonight (Wednesday, 30 October) by fellow club legend turned ambassador, Denis Irwin, in remembrance of Chas and his great contribution to MUDSA and the United family as a whole.

Rest in peace to an important fan figurehead who will be fondly remembered and whose contribution to disability support at the club will never be forgotten.

For all the latest news, events and goings on in Greater Manchester, subscribe to The Manc newsletter HERE.

Featured Images — MUSDA/Manchester United

Sport

A brand-new half marathon and running event is coming to Greater Manchester

Danny Jones Danny Jones New Media City Half Marathon Salford 2025

For those of you who love running or are simply looking to set yourself a challenge in the new year, a brand-new half marathon and community event is coming to Greater Manchester and Media City, specifically, this coming February.

Created by RunThrough, the UK’s largest and Europe’s fastest-growing running events company, the inaugural Media City Half Marathon is set to land right in the heart of Salford Quays and is tipped to be one of the fastest routes in the region.

The organisers have already delivered the increasingly well-attended Run Media City series in the area, which sees Mancs and more smash 5 and 10k races on the last Thursday of every month, but this will be the first race of this length to be hosted there and is sure to prove just as popular.

As for the first-ever Media City Half Marathon, it’s taking place on Sunday, 16 February and if you fancy notching a new personal best, this one is for you.

This brand-new event will offer runners a super fast, closed-road course, ideal for setting records, all while through the Media CityUK scenery and surrounding path of Salford Quays.

Clocking in at the required 13.1 miles distance for a half marathon (or 21.1km if you prefer metric like us), the run will feature two flat and scenic laps, beginning and ending at the home of BBC’s Northern hub and the historic Manchester Ship Canal, before winding through the heart of Salford and Eccles.

It’s also worth noting that this is a closed-road race complete with clearly marked kilometre signs along the way and designed to support runners of all abilities, so don’t be scared off by the distance if you’ve never done it before.

Plus, marshals and event staff will be stationed along the course to help cheer participants on as they make their way to the finish line and we sincerely hope that once word gets out, there’ll be plenty more locals lining the running route and showing their support.

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Matt Wood, co-founder of RunThrough, said: “We’re thrilled to bring a half marathon to such an iconic location in Media City.

“This event showcases the best of Salford, and we’re excited to welcome runners to experience the new course in 2025.”

Registration for the debut Media City Half Marathon is now open, with limited spots available for what is already a highly anticipated event. For further details and to secure a place, with prices starting from just £32 visit the official event website HERE.

With 270 events set to be delivered by RunThrough in 2025, attracting over a quarter of a
a million participants across local landmark races such as the Run Tatton series and many more, let’s just say it’s going to be a good year for the kudos.

For all the latest news, events and goings on in Greater Manchester, subscribe to The Manc newsletter HERE.

Featured Images — Press image (supplied)

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