Heinz has created its own Christmas dinner in a tin – and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Comprised of pigs in blankets, “big chunks” of turkey, Brussel sprouts, sage and onion stuffing, roast potatoes, red cabbage, gravy, and cranberry sauce, the company has – seemingly unironically – crammed one of the best meals of the year into a depressingly compact, 400g aluminum tin.
The canned Christmas dinner is being marketed by Heinz as an answer to the food shortages the UK is currently experiencing, with a brand spokesperson championing it “a winner”.
Listed for sale online only, it has been released as a limited edition of just 500 cans – with the company already hinting it could roll it out in greater numbers next year if it proves a hit with shoppers.
Given that it’s already sold out online since going live this morning, that may well end up being the case.
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Brand representative Anke Von Hanstein said: “It is made for those with a big love for hearty festive flavours and tastes just perfect with a slice of warm crusty bread.
“Any soup that includes pigs in blankets and roasties is a winner in our eyes.”
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Technically more of a soup than a proper Christmas dinner, the Christmas Dinner Big Soup is priced at £1.50 per can and contains two servings.
Its roll-out has definitely caused some amusement online, but it also points to a darker reality as Christmas approaches, living costs rise and the fear of empty shelves becomes a reality – with many supermarkets already using cardboard cutouts to conceal the numerous gaps caused by pandemic and Brexit-related shortages.
Of course, who knows – it could always catch on and the country could discard its beloved roast dinners in favour of a tin of canned soup. It seems like anything goes these days.
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It’s not the first time such an aberration to our favourite meal has appeared, either.
In 2013, Chris Godfrey developed a Christmas dinner in a can for GAME – a ‘nine-layer feast’ made especially for “gamers who can’t tear themselves away from their new games and consoles on Christmas Day.”
Starting with a scrambled egg and bacon layer for breakfast, it was followed by lunch (mincemeat pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, Brussel sprouts or broccoli with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips).
The can then ended with dessert, made up of a Christmas pudding and a custard layer.
The ‘Christmas tinner’ fast became a meme, even earning its own subreddit.
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One of the most famous memes read: “the thing about Britain is this could be a joke but it could also be real.”
Well, we’re certainly through the looking glass now.
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A Twilight rave is coming to Manchester with DJs blasting 2000s indie and emo anthems
Emily Sergeant
A Twilight rave is coming to Manchester this spooky season.
It’s been nearly 20 years since the release of the titular first film in the Twilight Saga, based on author Stephanie Meyer’s bestselling book series of the same name, but despite two decades having passed, the films remain as beloved as ever.
Twilight went on to become a global phenomenon when it first hit cinemas back in November 2008, not just with its target audience of teens and young adults, but with people of all ages – making stars out of its lead actors Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart in the process, and generating millions at the box office.
With the impact it had on the culture at the time, it’s no wonder Twilight remained among fans’ favourites all these years later.
And this success is why events company Throwback Events is hosting a series of Twilight Raves across the UK and Europe this autumn, making a stop off here in Manchester in late November with tickets now on sale.
The event description reads: “Bella, where the hell you been loca? Join us as we celebrate Twilight at the club, where every day is Hoa Hoa Hoa season.
“Step into the shadows and relive the magic, mystery, and eternal romance of Twilight. Get ready for a night of anthems, nostalgia, and glittering darkness as we transform the dancefloor into Forks’ most iconic vampire coven.”
DJs will be spinning Twilight soundtracks on the night, alongside dark pop, emo, indie, and 2000s bangers, as well as playing fan edits from the films on big screens.
Oh, and to make it all the better, dressing up as vampires and werewolves is ‘highly encouraged’.
Fancy it then? The Twilight Rave is coming to the Deaf Institute in Manchester on Saturday 21 November, and tickets will set you back upwards of £7 each.
Manchester cinemas are offering tickets to big blockbusters for just £4 this weekend
Emily Sergeant
You can watch some of the year’s biggest blockbusters for just £4 this weekend.
That’s because, to celebrate National Cinema Weekend (5-6 September), Vue has announced that it’ll be offering cut-price tickets to everything from the latest blockbusters and family favourites, to indie horrors and classic re-releases, so you don’t have to break the bank to enjoy the full cinematic experience this autumn.
Some of the highlights currently showing that you’ll be able to see for just £4 include summer hits like Spider-Man: Brand New Day, The Odyssey, and Toy Story 5, as well as the recent release of Ridley Scott’s latest film, The Dog Stars, starring Jacob Elordi.
Family favourites such as Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets,Paw Patrol: The Dino Movie, and Cars will also be screening over National Cinema Weekend.
Meanwhile, horror fans can also catch new releases Insidious: Out of the Further, and indie horror Leviticus, or see the year’s biggest horror hit, Obsession, if you haven’t already.
The best bit about the offer? It applies to every seat on every showing, all weekend long.
This means that film lovers can enjoy Vue’s biggest and comfiest seats, Ultra Lux, which are strategically positioned to give the best possible view of the big screen – with extra-wide armrests, back and leg rests that recline independently, a personal table for snacks and beverages, and a state-of-the-art wine cooler, all for just £4 each.
Mike Anton, General Manager at Vue Manchester Printworks, said it’s been ‘an incredible year’ for film, adding: “This National Cinema Weekend, we want to celebrate the big screen experience by giving back to our audiences.