Heinz has created its own Christmas dinner in a tin – and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Comprised of pigs in blankets, “big chunks” of turkey, Brussel sprouts, sage and onion stuffing, roast potatoes, red cabbage, gravy, and cranberry sauce, the company has – seemingly unironically – crammed one of the best meals of the year into a depressingly compact, 400g aluminum tin.
The canned Christmas dinner is being marketed by Heinz as an answer to the food shortages the UK is currently experiencing, with a brand spokesperson championing it “a winner”.
Listed for sale online only, it has been released as a limited edition of just 500 cans – with the company already hinting it could roll it out in greater numbers next year if it proves a hit with shoppers.
Given that it’s already sold out online since going live this morning, that may well end up being the case.
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Brand representative Anke Von Hanstein said: “It is made for those with a big love for hearty festive flavours and tastes just perfect with a slice of warm crusty bread.
“Any soup that includes pigs in blankets and roasties is a winner in our eyes.”
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Technically more of a soup than a proper Christmas dinner, the Christmas Dinner Big Soup is priced at £1.50 per can and contains two servings.
Its roll-out has definitely caused some amusement online, but it also points to a darker reality as Christmas approaches, living costs rise and the fear of empty shelves becomes a reality – with many supermarkets already using cardboard cutouts to conceal the numerous gaps caused by pandemic and Brexit-related shortages.
Of course, who knows – it could always catch on and the country could discard its beloved roast dinners in favour of a tin of canned soup. It seems like anything goes these days.
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It’s not the first time such an aberration to our favourite meal has appeared, either.
In 2013, Chris Godfrey developed a Christmas dinner in a can for GAME – a ‘nine-layer feast’ made especially for “gamers who can’t tear themselves away from their new games and consoles on Christmas Day.”
Starting with a scrambled egg and bacon layer for breakfast, it was followed by lunch (mincemeat pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, Brussel sprouts or broccoli with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips).
The can then ended with dessert, made up of a Christmas pudding and a custard layer.
The ‘Christmas tinner’ fast became a meme, even earning its own subreddit.
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One of the most famous memes read: “the thing about Britain is this could be a joke but it could also be real.”
Well, we’re certainly through the looking glass now.
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Trailer for Clayface gives closer look at Batman villain in new DC film shot in Greater Manchester
Danny Jones
DC have dropped a brand-new trailer for the upcoming Clayface film: a new ‘body horror’ movie by the Hollywood studio and superhero franchise.
Giving the first extended look at the cult favourite Batman villain, it’s set to be one of the darkest and most disturbing big-budget DC projects for some time.
Set to release on 23 October, it drops in just time for ‘spooky season’, and judging by this latest trailer, they’re certainly doubling down on the creepiest sides of the character. If you’re a bit squeamish, we’d say proceed with caution:
It’s certainly a striking reveal and has some of the most mature themes we’ve seen from DC over the years; that’s what you get when you park a supervillain like this.
For anyone who hasn’t come across Clayface before, it is an alias used by multiple individuals in the comics, including Basil Karlo and Preston Payne.
However, this version of the alter ego follows the story of Matt Hagen, a struggling actor who suffers serious disfiguration and experiments with experimental science before embarking on a tale of revenge.
While this differs somewhat from Hagen’s original backstory, without straying into spoiler territory, there’s plenty to be made from the trailer, as you can see.
If you’re wondering what kind of film to expect beyond what you’re now already aware of, it’s worth noting that James Watkins is known for films such as The Woman In Black (2012), Bastille Day (2016), and the heavily nominated James McAvoy-led movie, Speak No Evil (2024).
We were lucky enough to walk past their other major period of filming over in Manchester city centre last September, where the often-used Castlefield doubled as Gotham.
Oasis’ (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? named biggest UK studio album EVER by Official Charts
Danny Jones
You’re damn right: Oasis continue to be MASSIVE as new figures from the Official Charts Company have confirmed that (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? has clocked in as the biggest UK studio album of all time.
The Britpop icons and history go hand in hand.
Yes, according to the latest numbers by our domestic chart-crunchers, only two other albums surpassed Oasis‘ second LP – and they’re both greatest hits collections.
The announcement was made on Wednesday, 22 July, just over a whole year on from those reunion world tour shows at Heaton Park. How fitting.
Starting off by channelling Liam Gallagher energy and quipping that “Oasis vibes are in the area”, they go on to explain the colossal cumulative record.
“Oasis claim one of the biggest honours in British music history, they write, “as (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? is named the UK’s Official biggest studio album of all time, according to new Official Charts Company data.”
Combining UK sales of the record – both physical and digital over the years – along with modern streaming statistics, the sophomore outing from the Britpop giants has amassed approximately 6.2 million UK chart units. Staggering stuff.
Last year’s Live ’25 shows have no doubt helped give an added boost to their metrics, but it’s still gargantuan stuff from the local band.
Yet another incredible stat not just for the Burnage boys but the Manchester music scene as a whole.
2026 looks to be just as big a comeback, by the looks of things.
In case you were wondering who beat them out in the race for the top spot, they were pipped to the post by Queen’s Greatest Hits and the same again from ABBA, two worthy opponents to take third place after.
You can see the rest of the list in full right HERE.
Oh, and Definitely Maybe also made the list, too, coming in at number 39 – making that two in the top 50 even amongst all the compilations.
It feels like last July all over again, doesn’t it? And if now isn’t the perfect time to stick on the title track, we don’t know what is.
Actually, sod it – we’re sticking the full thing on…
Georgina Pellant -
1st November 2021 
