Heinz has created its own Christmas dinner in a tin – and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Comprised of pigs in blankets, “big chunks” of turkey, Brussel sprouts, sage and onion stuffing, roast potatoes, red cabbage, gravy, and cranberry sauce, the company has – seemingly unironically – crammed one of the best meals of the year into a depressingly compact, 400g aluminum tin.
The canned Christmas dinner is being marketed by Heinz as an answer to the food shortages the UK is currently experiencing, with a brand spokesperson championing it “a winner”.
Listed for sale online only, it has been released as a limited edition of just 500 cans – with the company already hinting it could roll it out in greater numbers next year if it proves a hit with shoppers.
Given that it’s already sold out online since going live this morning, that may well end up being the case.
Brand representative Anke Von Hanstein said: “It is made for those with a big love for hearty festive flavours and tastes just perfect with a slice of warm crusty bread.
“Any soup that includes pigs in blankets and roasties is a winner in our eyes.”
Technically more of a soup than a proper Christmas dinner, the Christmas Dinner Big Soup is priced at £1.50 per can and contains two servings.
Its roll-out has definitely caused some amusement online, but it also points to a darker reality as Christmas approaches, living costs rise and the fear of empty shelves becomes a reality – with many supermarkets already using cardboard cutouts to conceal the numerous gaps caused by pandemic and Brexit-related shortages.
Of course, who knows – it could always catch on and the country could discard its beloved roast dinners in favour of a tin of canned soup. It seems like anything goes these days.
It’s not the first time such an aberration to our favourite meal has appeared, either.
In 2013, Chris Godfrey developed a Christmas dinner in a can for GAME – a ‘nine-layer feast’ made especially for “gamers who can’t tear themselves away from their new games and consoles on Christmas Day.”
Starting with a scrambled egg and bacon layer for breakfast, it was followed by lunch (mincemeat pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, Brussel sprouts or broccoli with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips).
The can then ended with dessert, made up of a Christmas pudding and a custard layer.
The ‘Christmas tinner’ fast became a meme, even earning its own subreddit.
One of the most famous memes read: “the thing about Britain is this could be a joke but it could also be real.”
Well, we’re certainly through the looking glass now.
Peter Kay moved to tears by standing ovation in Manchester as he returns to stand-up
Peter Kay was moved to tears by the outpouring of love from the audience in the AO Arena before he’d even started his set.
The Bolton comedian, 49, made his long-awaited return to the stand-up scene this weekend, with two sold-out shows in Manchester.
Another wrote: “What an absolute privilege to be there for Peter Kay’s return to the big stage. He got a standing ovation for his entrance and was reduced to tears, never seen anything like it. No spoilers, just a superb night.”
Someone else said: “I was expecting a huge standing ovation for Peter Kay’s return, but that was just mega. I felt so privileged to be there tonight. I’ve waited to see him live for so long. If you recorded anything, please don’t be a d*ck sharing it and ruining it for everyone else.”
One person tweeted: “What a beautiful moment yesterday. Peter Kay in tears after such a rapturous reception.”
Featured image: TikTok, @hannah5290_
Stone Roses bassist Mani raises over £100k for The Christie and local NHS charities
Stone Roses bassist Mani and his wife Imelda have raised over £100,000 for two cancer charities close to their hearts.
After Imelda Mounfield – who is the wife of Stone Roses bassist Gary ‘Mani’ – was diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer back in November 2020, the couple not only set out to raise awareness of the devastating disease, but also raise as much money as possible for local cancer charities through an online auction featuring some impressive prizes.
The auction was launched at a fundraising event held at Kimpton Clocktower Ballroom on Friday 18 November, and saw the couples’ friends from the world of music, sport, and entertainment donate an incredible array of exclusive items.
Some auction highlights included Noel Gallagher’s framed and signed set of six platinum discs for the album (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?, which went for an impressive £8,000, while guitars donated by Damon Albarn, Arctic Monkeys, Primal Scream, Foo Fighters, Peter Hook, and The Who were also all up for sale.
The highest bid went to John Squire’s Jackson Pollock-inspired painted and signed Hofner guitar 3/3 for a whopping £16,800.
Liam Gallagher’s 2022 NME award for ‘Music Moment of the Year’ sold for £4,100, and David Beckham’s signed boots he wore for the last match of his career on 18 May 2013 were sold for £6,800.
All together, over £80,000 was raised from the auction, as well as £24,000 raised on the night of the fundraising event itself – which means that just over £100,000 has now been donated to The Christie Charity andStockport NHS Charity.
Imelda explained that funds were donated to these two charities as they “supported me through my journey.
“Cancer affects not just the person who has it, but everyone around them,” she explained, “I hope that by investing in some more research, we can help alleviate some of the devastation caused to families by cancer.”
Both charities say they are “really touched” and “hugely grateful” for the contributions.
“We’re really touched that Imelda’s experiences as a patient have spurred her and Mani into action for our charity,” said Louise Stimson – Head of Fundraising at The Christie Charity.
While Karen James OBE – Chief Executive for Stockport NHS Foundation Trust – added: “We’re hugely grateful to Imelda and Mani’s efforts in organising the fundraising event and auction [and] we’re proud of the care Imelda and many others with cancer have received at Stepping Hill Hospital.
“This fundraiser for our charity is a really touching display of her thanks, which will help us go on to support more patients in the future.”
Sadly, Imelda’s cancer has spread to her liver and a small nodule in her lung, so she underwent emergency life-saving bowel surgery as it perforated, and after months of treatments, she had the right side of her liver removed.
Imelda is now currently waiting for the next stage of treatment.