Heinz has created its own Christmas dinner in a tin – and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Comprised of pigs in blankets, “big chunks” of turkey, Brussel sprouts, sage and onion stuffing, roast potatoes, red cabbage, gravy, and cranberry sauce, the company has – seemingly unironically – crammed one of the best meals of the year into a depressingly compact, 400g aluminum tin.
The canned Christmas dinner is being marketed by Heinz as an answer to the food shortages the UK is currently experiencing, with a brand spokesperson championing it “a winner”.
Listed for sale online only, it has been released as a limited edition of just 500 cans – with the company already hinting it could roll it out in greater numbers next year if it proves a hit with shoppers.
Given that it’s already sold out online since going live this morning, that may well end up being the case.
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Brand representative Anke Von Hanstein said: “It is made for those with a big love for hearty festive flavours and tastes just perfect with a slice of warm crusty bread.
“Any soup that includes pigs in blankets and roasties is a winner in our eyes.”
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Technically more of a soup than a proper Christmas dinner, the Christmas Dinner Big Soup is priced at £1.50 per can and contains two servings.
Its roll-out has definitely caused some amusement online, but it also points to a darker reality as Christmas approaches, living costs rise and the fear of empty shelves becomes a reality – with many supermarkets already using cardboard cutouts to conceal the numerous gaps caused by pandemic and Brexit-related shortages.
Of course, who knows – it could always catch on and the country could discard its beloved roast dinners in favour of a tin of canned soup. It seems like anything goes these days.
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It’s not the first time such an aberration to our favourite meal has appeared, either.
In 2013, Chris Godfrey developed a Christmas dinner in a can for GAME – a ‘nine-layer feast’ made especially for “gamers who can’t tear themselves away from their new games and consoles on Christmas Day.”
Starting with a scrambled egg and bacon layer for breakfast, it was followed by lunch (mincemeat pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, Brussel sprouts or broccoli with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips).
The can then ended with dessert, made up of a Christmas pudding and a custard layer.
The ‘Christmas tinner’ fast became a meme, even earning its own subreddit.
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One of the most famous memes read: “the thing about Britain is this could be a joke but it could also be real.”
Well, we’re certainly through the looking glass now.
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Neighbourhood Festival’s return to the city centre is looking great with after revealing second wave
Danny Jones
Neighbourhood Festival’s city centre all-dayer is returning to Manchester for 2026 after a year off, and with the second wave of the lineup having just dropped, it’s looking very promising.
Following teasers over the past month or so, it didn’t take long for us to figure out that NBHD Festival was coming back, especially with the Weekender in Warrington having taken a similar hiatus in 2024.
However, when festivals like these take time out, it can be easy to worry whether or not they’ll lose momentum or come back stronger.
Judging by this follow-up batch of acts alone, there’s no doubt NBHD Fest ’26 will be another cracker.
As you can see, as well as the fast-rising grungey alternative and garage rock quartet, KEO, being announced as one of the first big hitters on the list, there are some other familiar names on the lineup.
Especially for us Mancs.
With both Bolton and Altrincham youngsters, Florentenes and The Guest List, both joining the roster, as well as the likes of Bury-born ‘rockabilly’ revivalist Elliot James Reay also featuring on there, there’s a good deal of local talent to be enjoyed as always.
That goes for the regional delegation in general, too, with the likes of Jos River heading back up this way from her base in London, and Leeds’ fittingly named indie four-piece, The North, also booking a slot.
We’ll admit there are plenty of bands and artists coming up from the capital for the all-day festival, but at least they know where the UK’s real home of music is.
For instance, we’re buzzing to see the Red Rum Club boys returning to the NBHD stage once again – they never disappoint, and there are so many other guaranteed top performers on the bill. And that was just this year’s Weekener…
It’s worth reminding, once again, that since its inception in 2016 (yes, it really has been a decade now), Neighbourhood Fest has continued to serve as a proper launchpad for the next wave of superstars, not just here in the North West but across the country.
We still remember seeing the likes of Sam Fender, Holly Humberstone, Declan McKenna, Mahalia, The Lathums and more – some for the very first time – on these city centre stages, and it’s crazy to see how big some of them have gone on to become.
Set to take over some of Manchester’s most iconic venues along the Oxford Road Corridor once again, this is, without a doubt, one of the best dates for independents on the annual live music calendar.
Hosting a total of 11 stages on Saturday, 17 October, for a full day of live music, tickets for this year’s Neighbourhood Festival are on sale now right HERE.
And if you’ve already sorted yours, why not read our review of NBHD Weekender ’26 down below to get you in the mood for the next two editions.
Major DJ forced to pull out of Parklife festival on doctor’s orders
Thomas Melia
A well-known techno and trance DJ will no longer be playing at Parklife this weekend, he’s announced, with just one day to go until his major set.
Anyone heading to Heaton Park over the weekend for Manchester-based festival, Parklife, may notice the lineup looks a little different after one distinctive DJ has pulled out due to doctor’s orders.
Marlon Hoffstadt, who also goes by the moniker ‘DJ Daddy Trance’, was expected to play out on the Matinée stage on Saturday 20 June from 6.30pm – 8pm.
The Germany-based act was taking to the decks right before Manchester’s own Morgan Seatree, who has become recognised for his material which is an ode to house music and is likely to be one of the busiest sets of the weekend.
Hoffstadt had two gigs this weekend; the first being Parklife in Manchester and the second Fête de la Musique in Paris, both of which he has since pulled out of in a newly-published social media announcement.
The Berlin-born music maker has reluctantly called off these upcoming appearances and justified his decision by saying: “As much as I hate missing shows, I need to put my recovery first”.
To much dismay, Hoffstadt received doctor’s advice who deemed him ‘currently not fit to fly’ following surgery, urging him to rest and recover.
Marlon posted today: “I’m so sad to have to share this, but unfortunately I won’t be able to play Parklife in Manchester and Fête de la Musique in Paris this weekend.
“I recently had a surgery and, following my doctor’s advice, I’m currently not fit to fly and need rest and recover.
“I know many of you made plans and were looking forward to it, and I’m so sorry to let you down.
“As much as I hate missing shows, I need to put my recovery first so I can get back to doing what I love as soon as possible.”
As much as the presence of this world-class performer will be missed, there’s still plenty of notable names set to make their mark on Parklife including Zara Larsson, Calvin Harris, Skepta and more.
The outdoor big music weekender has established itself as a rave haven with mainly dance artists and DJs making up its lineup through a variety of curated b2b sets and live performances.
If you’re after immersing yourself in some jungle music, Bradford-native Nia Archives will have you transfixed over at The Valley with her jungle-heavy tunes from 6.30pm – 7.30pm or there’s three more stages to take your pick from.
We’re sure that anyone eager to see the ‘Hands Up In The Sky’ producer live may be frustrated by this brand-new social media announcement however as Hoffstadt mentions it’s so he can “Get back to doing what I love as soon as possible”.
Georgina Pellant -
1st November 2021 
