Heinz has created its own Christmas dinner in a tin – and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Comprised of pigs in blankets, “big chunks” of turkey, Brussel sprouts, sage and onion stuffing, roast potatoes, red cabbage, gravy, and cranberry sauce, the company has – seemingly unironically – crammed one of the best meals of the year into a depressingly compact, 400g aluminum tin.
The canned Christmas dinner is being marketed by Heinz as an answer to the food shortages the UK is currently experiencing, with a brand spokesperson championing it “a winner”.
Listed for sale online only, it has been released as a limited edition of just 500 cans – with the company already hinting it could roll it out in greater numbers next year if it proves a hit with shoppers.
Given that it’s already sold out online since going live this morning, that may well end up being the case.
Brand representative Anke Von Hanstein said: “It is made for those with a big love for hearty festive flavours and tastes just perfect with a slice of warm crusty bread.
“Any soup that includes pigs in blankets and roasties is a winner in our eyes.”
Technically more of a soup than a proper Christmas dinner, the Christmas Dinner Big Soup is priced at £1.50 per can and contains two servings.
Its roll-out has definitely caused some amusement online, but it also points to a darker reality as Christmas approaches, living costs rise and the fear of empty shelves becomes a reality – with many supermarkets already using cardboard cutouts to conceal the numerous gaps caused by pandemic and Brexit-related shortages.
Of course, who knows – it could always catch on and the country could discard its beloved roast dinners in favour of a tin of canned soup. It seems like anything goes these days.
It’s not the first time such an aberration to our favourite meal has appeared, either.
In 2013, Chris Godfrey developed a Christmas dinner in a can for GAME – a ‘nine-layer feast’ made especially for “gamers who can’t tear themselves away from their new games and consoles on Christmas Day.”
Starting with a scrambled egg and bacon layer for breakfast, it was followed by lunch (mincemeat pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, Brussel sprouts or broccoli with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips).
The can then ended with dessert, made up of a Christmas pudding and a custard layer.
The ‘Christmas tinner’ fast became a meme, even earning its own subreddit.
One of the most famous memes read: “the thing about Britain is this could be a joke but it could also be real.”
Well, we’re certainly through the looking glass now.
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Why you should be glad Tom Aspinall has said no to a UFC fight at The White House
Danny Jones
In this industry, you can get used to wearing some pretty strange-sounding headlines, but we still had to double-take when we saw the headlines that the UFC is set to hold an event at The White House (yes, really) – even more so when we saw local name Tom Aspinall linked.
You know, as in the home of the actual President of the United States…
While UFC boss Dana White has stated that “it is definitely going to happen”, revealing that he has already met with Donald Trump, one of the UFC’s biggest stars and Manchester’s very own heavyweight champion, Tom Aspinall, says he has no interest. More importantly, he says you shouldn’t either.
Appearing on Canadian journalist Ariel Helwani’s mixed martial arts (MMA) and wrestling-focused podcast, The AH Show, Aspinall discussed everything from his next bout against French fighter Ciryl Gane, beef between coaches and much more.
However, the pair couldn’t possibly have skipped over the topic on everyone’s lips in the fight world and, indeed, beyond, after President Trump announced that he would be bringing the UFC to what is, for all intents and purposes, the most famous seat of power in the world.
As you can see in the clip above, the Atherton-born and Salford-raised sportsman barely even gave the notion much time of day at all, quickly expressing his ‘boredom’ over talking about it.
Regardless, Helwani did manage to get a clear response from ‘The Honey Badger’, who said: “It has spent zero seconds in my mind. I’m not interested, mate. Not interested, and the world shouldn’t be interested either, because what’s the point? That’s false hope.”
Once again, while both Trump and Dana White insist an official UFC event will go ahead, slating none other than the annual 4 July celebrations as the desired date on the 250th anniversary of the nation’s unification, it still seems like a surreal sentence to even say out loud for most people.
🇺🇸 President Donald Trump says he will host a UFC fight at the White House as part of the America 250 celebration 👀
"We're gonna have a UFC fight on the grounds of the White House… championship fight."pic.twitter.com/ouTttg1NPz
Now, while the Manc MMA fighter (who recently became the undisputed champion in his division following fight legend Jon Jones’ retirement) begins by dismissing the idea, he goes on to admit via double negative that the idea “doesn’t not interest [him]” and would be a “cool experience”.
Whether or not he means in the future, perhaps under a different POTUS’ regime, or simply doubts that the deal will even come off at this early stage, who knows?
He might have also just been referring to his doubts that the former three-time champ Jon Jones’ self-proclaimed return to the testing pool just weeks after retiring will amount to anything material, let alone in time for this particular date; even Dana White himself has said the likelihood is “a billion to one“.
First and foremost, Apsinall explains that he believes that “the Americans [fighting in the UFC] should get the shot at the White House” as they obviously have a much more vested interest in the concept and sense of appeal when it comes to utilising it as the latest historic, albeit unorthodox, sporting venue.
Interestingly, he does confess that he neither knows nor cares very little about US politics, stating: “I’m not really a big Trump supporter or against Trump […] I don’t live there, I don’t reside there, I don’t do anything there, apart from pay taxes and fight there. Really, all of that stuff is irrelevant to me.”
However, his minor caveat was that he has no ‘particular’ interest in the proposal and only really reiterated that he’s “not bothered” about when or where it happens, stating simply that he’ll “fight anywhere.”
The White House under the lights on fight night would be quite the sight, there’s no denying that. (Credit: Rob Young via Flickr)
You could argue that the current world number two UFC heavyweight is being careful in his choice of words, playing the bipartisan role ever so carefully so as not to jeopardise his own future in a sport that predominantly revolves around North America.
After all, recent developments in the media world alone would suggest that the Trump administration could make his time working and competing in the US more difficult than it would otherwise be if he made an outwardly public and definitive stance against the mercurial and controversial statesman.
And that’s putting it mildly.
On the other hand, his words could be quite literally taken at face value: he may not care one bit about the rather divisive political climate in America; he is just an athlete who’s making a living has nothing to do with Democrats vs Republicans.
Nevertheless, it seems fairly significant that Aspinall rubbished what are still just unofficial, though admittedly very loud and public, rumours put forward by the two relevant leadership figures involved in these ongoing developments, especially given that the Wigan warrior is currently at the top of his game.
You can see his AH Show interview in full down below.
He may be too wise to say it out loud, but we’d wager Aspinall knows backing a UFC fight at The White House is bad for business.
Given that Donald Trump is known to be an avid fight fan – having famously backed and hosted the 1988 Tyson fight at the Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, later going to be pictured shaking ‘Iron Mike’s hand at UFC 316 back in June – there could be a chance of the two interacting somewhat closely.
With that in mind, even if this isn’t Aspinall cleverly and indirectly distancing himself from the President, some might say he is at least trying to urge others to hopefully prevent the sport from drifting into the same muddy waters that other modern combat sports have.
As time goes on, boxing in particular seems to be coming more and more about the paegantry and finding new ways of marketing one of the world’s oldest and most primal contests; celebrities entering the ring and YouTube/influencer boxers being the prime example.
The fight world has always been about spectacle, but many would argue it’s become increasingly style over substance in recent years, given the advent of social media, not to mention the line between exhibition and genuine competition becoming increasingly blurred.
Despite their stars remaining underpaid in comparison to headline boxers, MMA has always prided itself on being brutally itself, and whatever you make of it as it continues to grow both commercially and in terms of popularity, personally, we believe people like Tom Aspinall are trying to keep it honest.
Steering clear of not just politics but the same Hollywood trappings and overly spectacular, money-driven, entertainment-for-profit-first focus that often plagues present-day boxing is a wise step, no matter how Jon Jones suddenly wants to join in the hard sell.
Despite the odds, I’m still training and optimistic about the possibility of being part of the White House event. At the end of the day, Dana is the boss and it’s his call whether I compete that night or not. I do know Dana was really excited about the fight, and the door hasn’t…
A big Taylor Swift listening party is coming to Manchester to celebrate her new album
Thomas Melia
An iconic Manchester music venue is hosting a Taylor Swift listening party to celebrate the release of her upcoming album this autumn.
The devil may work hard, but Ms. Swift sure works harder – as less than 500 days since the release of her eleventh studio album, The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor has announced her twelfth LP titled The Life of a Showgirl, meaning the pop titan is back in full force with an era full of glitter, glitz, and showbiz glamour.
To celebrate, Manchester’s historic Deaf Institute is hosting a night dedicated to the newest era, and you’ll certainly be able to make ‘make the whole place shimmer’ as you walk into this Grade ll-listed building this October.
Get ready to hear everything from Taylor Swift’s stacked discography – including her humble beginnings like ‘Tim McGraw’, all the way through to her claiming the title as the ultimate ‘Anti-Hero’.
The DJs on the night will be spinning every single new track from Swift’s twelfth studio album too, all while mixing in some of her other standout songs.
Anyone keen to attend this Taylor Swift ‘Wonderland’ must be over 18 years old, and have their ID with them on the night, as unfortunately, there’s no ‘invisible string’ you can use to sneak yourself into this venue.
And if you’re turning 22 -or celebrating any other birthday – between 4 and 18 October, then you can score yourself free entry into this live music venue too, isn’t that ‘Gorgeous’?
Georgina Pellant -
1st November 2021 
