Most of us would like to claim we have a sophisticated sense of humour – but in reality, we all love a juvenile laugh.
And there’s no easier place to find one than right outside your front door.
Few things bring out our inner child quite like finding a rudely-named street or place, and thanks to the English language being so on-the-nose it its naming style, Greater Manchester is full of them – with a road bearing bottom, dick, or fold everywhere you look.
Reports may have shown house prices can fall by staggering amounts based on ‘undesirable’ street names, but that doesn’t mean they’re not ammusing.
Here’s some of the rudest road names in the region.
Hardicker Lane
Levenshulme
This one’s all in the pronunciation.
It’d be fairly easy to overlook the innuendo in this Levenshulme street name if you hadn’t seen it written down, but the slower you pronounce it, the funnier it is, and although the story behind the unfortunate side street off Stockport Road is unknown, it’ll have you smiling nonetheless.
Flapper Fold Lane
Atherton
The name is funny on is own, and then the alliteration only makes it funnier.
Despite the name though, there is nothing that intrinsically rude about it as a ‘fold’ is just a common type of terrain in northern England and is usually described ‘a slight hill or hollow in the ground’.
Cock Clod Street
Radcliffe
This just rounds rude, doesn’t it? It’s hard to deny.
It isn’t quite what it seems though, as given the fact the sport was once a pretty popular pastime in Radcliffe, the street’s name derives from its history as the site of a cock-fighting clod – which is a round patch of earth often surrounded by seating.
Flapper Fold Lane in Atherton, and Hardicker Street in Rochdale / Credit: Google Maps
Dick Field Clough
Ramsbottom
We don’t really need to explain why this one’s on the list, and the ‘Dick Field’ part is pretty self explanatory, and then while the dictionary definition of clough is just ‘a deep valley or ravine’, it’s clearly got some hilarious connotations.
The fact that the street is in Ramsbottom just makes it funnier too.
Holebottom
Ashton-under-Lyne
It doesn’t get much more explicit than Holebottom, does it?
This snigger-inducing cul-de-sac is just around the corner from Broadoak Primary School and again, although the origins of the name are unclear, it’s likely to have been a source of embarrassment for people living there for years – and the butt of all jokes for passing schoolchildren.
Slag Lane
Leigh
Not only is this one rudely-named, it’s actually pretty derogatory as well.
It does have a history though, as this unfortunately-named street in Lowton is thought to have roots in the area’s coal mining heritage, with one theory involving the family of a local poet called John Byram, who’s coach became stuck on a dirt track on the way to church one Sunday, and to stop it happening again, they had the road covered in coal slag from nearby Bickershaw Colliery.
The road then became known as “The Slag Lane”.
Slag Lane in Lowton / Credit: Google Maps
Helmet Street
Ardwick
In the early 20th century, Helmet Street in Ardwick was home to Holt & Pennington – one of Manchester’s most prominent timber merchants.
When it comes to the name ‘helmet’ though, we can only hope it has military connections.
Nob End
Bolton
This one isn’t strictly a street name, but how can we miss this off the list?
The 21-acre site in Kearsley near Bolton was once a dumping ground for sulphuric acid and washing soda during the 19th century, but it’s now a popular nature reserve that’s home to some rare orchids and beautiful wildflowers.
According to the Lancashire Wildlife Trust, the comical name actually derives from the rounded premonitory on which the reserve stands by the River Croal.
Featured Image – Google Maps
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Harry Kane tears up as he honours England’s first Muslim player
Danny Jones
Three Lions skipper Harry Kane teared up as he honoured Djed Spence with an emotional speech on his England debut, becoming the first Muslim player ever to represent the senior national team.
Another historic night for sport in this country.
In case you didn’t tune in, the result against Serbia was a thrilling 5-0 victory, which saw Thomas Tuchel’s side maintain their unbeaten run, with a five-star performance serving as the perfect way to mark five wins from as many fixtures.
But, again, the headline story of the night was Djed Spence celebrating his faith in the best way possible – not to mention England captain Harry Kane paying sincere tribute to the history-making 25-year-old:
Pretty much everything you see of Harry Kane points towards him being a genuinely sound bloke. He could have just passed that cap over to Djed Spence with empty platitudes but you can tell he really cares.
As you can see, sharing some heartfelt and inspirational words as a former Lilywhite himself, ‘King’ Kane – who was first given the armband back in 2018 ahead of the Euros – spoke highly of the Tottenham Hotspur star following his inaugural national team cap.
Confessing that he himself felt emotional speaking on behalf of Spence, the 32-year-old striker recalled first seeing the wing-back arrive at Spurs just a few short years ago before his eventual departure for Bayern Munich in 2023.
He also shared, “I know what it takes to get here”, and saw what it took on his end to make those same steps forward in his career and ultimately break into the England squad, adding, “credit to you and your family – you deserve this, mate.”
As for the former Nottingham Forest defender himself, writing on social media, Spence said: “Today is arguably the greatest and proudest day of my life. Honoured to make my England debut.
“A day I’ve dreamt of all my life and now has become a reality. GOD IS THE GREATEST! #GODSPEED“
While there have been many individuals from the Islamic faith throughout the footballing pyramid and, indeed, the FA‘s national team youth ranks over the years, Djed Spence becoming the first senior capped Muslim player in our country’s history is nothing short of an incredible milestone.
Speaking to the media after the game, which also saw Harry Kane surpass Sir Bobby Moore as England’s fifth-most capped player of all-time (now on 109), the London-born athlete admitted: “I was surprised because I didn’t know I was the first, so it’s a blessing.
“It’s good to make history and hopefully inspire young kids around the world that they can make it as well. They can do what I am doing.”
Here’s hoping he can fly the flag for British Muslims throughout domestic football and help generate further impact on the sporting world beyond that.
Spanish journalist rubbishes reports of Barcelona debating ending Marcus Rashford’s loan deal early
Danny Jones
Spanish journalist Guillem Balagué has come out to rubbish reports that FC Barcelona have been considering ending Marcus Rashford’s loan deal early.
The well-known football reporter, who regularly works with the likes of Sky Sports, CBS Sports, BBC and more, is one of many to have publicly decried false claims made about the Manchester United loanee, who joined the La Liga giants at the start of this summer.
Barca themselves are also said to have quashed the rumours, with Balagué’s quotes having now been widely circulated online.
Speaking via X over the weekend, the 56-year-old put it simply: that the rumblings are nonsense, reassuring that the club have plenty of faith in his abilities.
Absolutely rubbish that Barcelona is planning to end up early @MarcusRashford loan deal
Barça told his representative that they have a lot of confidence in Rashford’s potential and that they believe he will recover as a top player
As you can see, the Catalan-born RCD Espanyol fan also chose to publicly align himself with former England footballer, Gary Lineker, who has suggested that a targeted and discriminatory narrative against Rashford has developed in recent years.
Though he didn’t state it verbatim, Balagué added: “No more to say, apart from the fact I agree with Gary Lineker and his treatment by some media.”
In case you were unaware of what he’s precisely referring to, Lineker said in a chat with the Man United forward on his The Rest Is Football podcast that he believes Rashford “wouldn’t face the same criticism if he was white.”
Having also made the move from Britain to Barcelona back in 1986 (spending a total of three seasons there), the 64-year-old knows plenty about adjusting from playing in one country to another.
You can see the interview in full here.
The interview was conducted shortly after Rashford’s loan deal was completed, and he had plenty to say about his boyhood team.
Responding to Balagué’s social media post, one commenter wrote: “This nonsense is coming from racist journalists in England who refuse to leave [Rashford] alone. They bullied him when he was in England, especially during times when he seemed unhappy.
“Now, these haters have followed him to Barcelona. Rashford is one of the kindest players in the world, but these clowns just won’t let him live his life in peace.”
It is worth noting, however, that the original reports in question and ultimately aggregated by media across Europe and here in the UK come from a domestic outlet, El Nacional.
While he is yet to rediscover the form of his peak years in United red at the Camp Nou, he is now entering what are traditionally seen as the ‘prime’ period in a footballer’s career and did show more positive signs on loan at Aston Villa during the second half of the previous campaign.
At 27, there is still plenty of time to turn things around; that being said, after being brought back into the national team and with his parent club holding an option to buy clause for around a reported £20 million, the question remains whether he will be returning to Old Trafford at the end of the term. Speaking of…
Emily Sergeant -
24th September 2021 
