Each year, around a quarter of a million people make the ambitious journey up to the summit of England’s third highest peak.
Most hikers know what they’re getting themselves into with Helvellyn.
As the highest point of the Helvellyn range – which is a north–south line of mountains to the north of Ambleside in the heart of the Lake District national park – Helvellyn is the third tallest mountain in England, just behind Scafell Pike and Scafell, and as you can imagine, given that it tends to be one of the peaks on the list for walkers to tackle before they get to the country’s tallest, it’s a pretty popular.
With several different routes able to be trekked, it’s believed that around 250,000 people make it to the top of Helvellyn every year.
While reaching the summit is what matters most, the journey to the top can be just as important – but it seems some aren’t as keen on that journey as others, and two viral TripAdvisor reviews that’ve been left recently couldn’t prove that more.
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One reviewer literally claimed it was the “worst experience of my life”.
Tourist moans one of Lake District’s tallest mountains is ‘too hilly’ in ridiculous review / Credit: Flickr
Taking to TripAdvisor in February, one review, quite literally, said Helvellyn was “far too hilly” and claimed that “spoiled a nice walk”, before adding that “there were also no facilities at the summit, not even a coffee shop.”
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Expanding on the sentiments of that review further, the other review blasts the mountain even more, taking aim at the lack of facilites, again, and then even pointing out how “smug” the other walkers up there were.
The review reads: “I had to go to the bathroom halfway through the hike and there were no facilities. I ended up having to go behind a rock and it was extremely inconvenient. I mean, how could they not have a single toilet on this entire hike? Do they expect people to just hold it in or something? Ridiculous.
“Secondly, all the other hikers on the trail seemed to be annoyingly competent and made the hike look way too easy, bunch of smug gits.”
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Another reviewer said climbing Helvellyn was “the worst experience of my life” / Credit: Flickr
To top it all off, they then claimed the view from the top was “mediocre”.
“The views from the top were not even that impressive. I mean, seriously? That’s all we get after all this hard work? A mediocre view of some hills and a lake? I’ve seen better views from my backyard. I would not recommend this hike to anyone.
“Save yourself the hassle and just stay at home. Trust me, you won’t be missing out on anything.”
Well, you can’t please everyone, can you?
Featured Image – Wikimedia Commons
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You can now stay at Shrek’s Swamp on Airbnb — yes, really
Danny Jones
Are you a Dreamworks fan or perhaps an onion/ogre enthusiast? Well, you can now book to stay at Shrek’s Swamp in a land far, far away… and it’s completely free!
‘What are you doing in my swamp?!’ is something that Shrek may roar at you as you lay your weary head in his humble abode this autumn but now, thanks to Airbnb, you’re actually welcome to stay there.
So, if you’re thinking of treating yourself to a getaway, forget the romantic vistas of Rome, say nay to the breathtaking views of the Amalfi Coast and revel in the mud-laden, moss-covered surroundings of Shrek’s very own swamp instead.
For those looking to live out their swampiest childhood fairytale dreams, Airbnb is giving you the opportunity to escape to the Scottish Highlands and embrace your ogre-like tendencies.
Credit: Airbnb
Bookings for this special stay open on Friday, 13 October at 6pm and, if you’re lucky, up to three of you will be picked to enjoy a two-night swamp stay at absolutely no cost to yourselves from 27-29 October. A nice pre-Halloween treat.
You’ll need to make sure you have a good rating on Airbnb to stand a chance of being chosen and, if you are, you can expect the following:
To relax in the ambience of ‘earwax candlelight’
Kick your feet up with a parfait (everybody likes a parfait!)
Swap stories around the fire until late in the night
Enjoy a stack of freshly made waffles in the morning
And, of course, enjoy the ultimate privacy of Shrek’s trusted outhouse (you know the one)
The Airbnb website also states: “To honour good childhood memories that last a lifetime, Airbnb will make a one-time donation to HopScotch Children’s Charity, which provides some of Scotland’s most vulnerable and disadvantaged children with respite breaks through nurturing and dynamic holiday trips.”
Guests must also note that the shower and toilet facilities are located 20 metres away from the swamp and that those chosen to stay must make their own travel arrangements to and from Scotland.
Might we suggest a fairytale-style horse and carriage shaped like an onion? No reason…
To find out more and to place your booking on 13 October, visit the Shrek Swamp listing on Airbnb.
A radio station playing only Christmas tunes 24/7 is back on air in the UK
Emily Sergeant
It’s that time of year again… a radio station playing only Christmas tunes 24/7 is now back on the airwaves in the UK.
Too early to say the ‘C word’? Never mind, you’ve already clicked on this article.
Autumn may have only just started, and we may still have all the fun of Halloween and Bonfire Night to get stuck into first, but for some people, the festive feels are already in the air – but whether or not you’re in the camp of it being too early to talk about Christmas at this point, it’ll soon be pretty tricky to escape from.
Especially not when a radio station that’s dedicated to playing non-stop Christmas bangers has just relaunched in the UK.
You heard that right – Christmas songs, 24-hours a day, seven days a week.
For that person in your life who just LOVES Christmas… Heart Xmas is back! 🎄
With only 94 days to go until the big day, we’ve pressed play on our favourite festive station ☃️
If you’re the type that’s got Mariah blasting in September, and like to start the day with Slade baring out loud, then you should be absolutely made up to hear that Heart Radio has revealed its much-loved festive station, Heart Xmas, is now back up and running.
With just over three months to go until the big day, Heart Xmas has switched-on earlier than ever before this year, and is now live to listen to on DAB digital radio and online via Global Player.
Mariah Carey, Michael Buble, The Pogues, Wham!, Wizzard, Slade, and Shakin Stevens are just some of the artists with those classic Christmas hits you can expect to hear in the run-up to December, as Heart says its dedicated Christmas station promises to bring listeners “the ultimate festive soundtrack at all hours of the day”.
A radio station playing only Christmas tunes 24/7 is back on air in the UK / Credit: Vevo
Done denying the festive season’s just round the corner?
If you’re on board and fancy getting into the Christmas spirit, then you can now tune into the Heart Xmas radio on your DAB digital radio, Global Player, or via the Heart website.
Emily Sergeant -
17th February 2023 
