Gummy bears can be a top-tier sweet treat for all ages, but the bad reviews of these bulk packs on Amazon are enough to put anyone off.
The 1lb pack of Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears have some reviews that are so bad, they really do have to be seen to be believed and we’re honestly not exaggerating either.
They’re awful, but in the best way possible.
There’s so many hilariously bad reviews that are worth including here, but we’ve picked arguably the best (or should we say worst) one to share.
One very unsatisfied customer review reads: “I sit here writing this review at 4am from my porcelain throne, a fixture you will become all too familiar with if you chose to eat these cute little bears from the pits of hell.”
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“I had to eat a pound of these little b****rds after Man City must’ve thought they were playing American football the other week, and lost to a team of Arsenal scrubs. They were a bit chewy but overall, appeared to be nothing more than your average gummy bears. After about 2 hours with little more than some mild stomach cramps, feeling like one would expect from eating a pound of any candy, I began to wonder if I’d gotten some duds.”
“Like the slow build-up of a Martin Scorsese film however, those bears were waiting for their baptism scene to destroy my insides.”
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“It started with the cramping, very akin to doing 1,000 crunches and then being forced to hold the 1,001st crunch indefinitely. Then came the initial “run” which opened the proverbial flood gates. I’m over 30 and I’m beginning to wonder if these bears know that and want to send me back to the can for each year I’ve been on this earth to make me wonder why I’d ever been born.”
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It continues: “In between gastrointestinal bouts of pressure washing the inside of my toilet from my anus, I lay in bed feeling as if someone were to punch me in the stomach, I’d explode, turning the walls of my bedroom into a soiled Jackson Pollock rendition. To give you an idea, I’d spent $50 ordering a UFC pay-per-view only to willingly miss the last 2-3 fights on the main card because I didn’t want to stray too far from my master bathroom. Thankfully for me (and my marriage), fearing what might be coming, I convinced my wife to spend the evening at my sister-in-laws because trust me fellas, nothing will be gained from your significant other experiencing this with you.”
“I’m no longer in pain but am still having to make trips back to my master bath on a regular basis.”
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“Eat these if you dare but be forewarned, they are not to be trifled with unless you want your toilet to be a staging ground for repeat fecal rehearsals of “The Red Wedding” from Game of Thrones.”
Well then – what can we say?
We can only hope this is just a one-off bad batch of gummy bears, although we can’t be too sure.
What we can be sure of though is that these reviews some of the best worst reviews we’ve seen in a long time, so if you want to have a read of the rest of them, and trust us, you absolutely should do, then head on over to the Amazon listing here.
You’ll also be pleased to know that the gummy bears are no longer in-stock too.
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Channel 4 is looking for Mancs who think they can survive the apocalypse for a new TV series
Lydia Mastrolonardo
Have you always wanted to see how long you’d last in an apocalypse?
Well now’s your chance, as Apocalypse is potentially coming back to Channel 4 for a second series, with producers having put out a nationwide casting call for contestants willing to take part.
The casting call simply reads: “Do you think you have what it takes to survive the end of the world?”
Described as a dystopian series designed to test the creativity, resourcefulness, and resilience of our nation, Apocalypse sees players are pushed out of their comfort zones and put to the ultimate test.
In the series, ordinary people are tasked with surviving for 28 days in an abandoned city – used previously only for the military to practice urban warfare – with no food, running water, electricity or heat.
Produced by The Garden – which is part of ITV Studios – for Channel 4, the show’s creators are now calling on Mancs and people up and down the country with the ‘courage and ingenuity’ to compete, to get in touch and apply for the potential second series.
Does your mate always bang on after watching a post-apocalyptic film that they would’ve done things differently? Or is the news at the moment freaking you out and you want to give the end of the world a bit of a practice run? Either way, sign up, test that plan you’ve built in your head, and see if you’ve really got what it takes.
Applications are now open, and all you need to do is fill in a short application form and one of the production team will get back to you if they would like to proceed. Come on, let’s prove what Mancs are made of.
Hundreds of katsu curries are being given out for FREE in Manchester this week
Emily Sergeant
Hundreds of katsu curries are being dished up and given out for free in Manchester this week, but only for certain people.
And those lucky people will be students.
That’s right… a new semester is upon us, and thousands of freshers and returning students are descending on the city and Manchester‘s many universities for another year. But the life of a student isn’t exactly the cheapest sometimes, especially for those who haven’t had to live on a budget before moving out or into halls.
But to make things a little easier, Tampopo has announced it’ll be serving hundreds of one of its most popular dishes for free this week.
Tampopo is celebrating National Katsu Curry Day in the most delicious way possible, by giving away 700 Katsu Curries with rice for free, exclusively to freshers and students this Sunday (27 September).
Whether you’re brand new to the city, settling back into uni life, or you’re simply in need of a katsu fix, students can head to their nearest participating Tampopo and tuck into a hearty meal without needing to spend a penny.
100 katsu curries will be available each from 12-2pm at both Tampopo restaurants in Manchester city centre – which are on Albert Square, and in the Corn Exchange – or if you head over to the Trafford Centre, both the Tampopo there and the East Street sites are taking part.
“[Our] Katsu Curry has long been one of our most-loved dishes, so National Katsu Curry Day felt like the perfect excuse to give students a proper welcome to the new academic year,” Tampopo said in a statement.
So, are you feeling hungry then? The offer is exclusively available for takeaway only to freshers and students with a valid student ID, which they must present on collection.
100 portions are available at each participating location, and just one free katsu curry with rice will be available per person.
Emily Sergeant -
23rd July 2020 
