Kate Winslet has revealed the ‘awful, awful’ moment she was convinced she had defecated on stage at a leading Manchester theatre.
The Oscar-winning actress appeared on The Graham Norton Show and spilled all the details of the hilarious near-miss incident.
Kate explained that she was in a production of What the Butler Saw by Joe Orton at the Royal Exchange Theatre, which is right here in the heart of Manchester.
She told the audience, as well as enraptured fellow guests Sir Lenny Henry, Nadiya Hussain and Jack Whitehall, that she was ‘convinced I’ve totally sh*t myself’ live on stage.
Speaking on the show on Friday night, the Titanic star said: “Well I nearly did a poo on stage once.
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“I’m just sitting here realising that you’re now going to make me tell that story.”
Kate Winslet. Credit: BBC, The Graham Norton ShowCredit: Royal Exchange Theatre
Of course, the entire audience and her fellow celebrity guests immediately start to egg her on.
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Kate explains a part of the play where her character is asked to strip for a physical examination in a medical setting – and the logistics of the theatre’s stage that made the whole scenario so much worse.
“This theatre was in the round,” she said. “So little me, I go behind the curtain and I do what I’ve done for nights on end and I take everything off, and I’m behind this curtain sort of shaped like [a semi-circle] so all the people above me are looking straight down at poor little Kate.
“I have to lie on this bed and I would lie there really kind of uncomfortably and awkwardly, and I’m lying there and suddenly… “
At this point, she grips the couch and starts writhing, saying: “‘It’s happening, it’s happening, it’s happening. Oh my god I’m gonna sh*t myself.’
“And I’m lying on a white sheet, naked on a stage!
“I’m convinced I’ve totally sh*t myself. So I think ‘Well what am I gonna do, because in a minute I have to stand up, come out from behind the curtain, and look for all my clothes that he’s hidden in the plant pots, and I’ve done a f***ing poo! This is horrific!’
“So I start to sort of runkel the sheet, I try and skrunkle up this sheet as best I can, I do this kind of ninja flip move and I twist myself and I bind this sheet all around myself, and I’m still thinking ‘Ah, happening, happening, behind the curtain’ standing in front of an audience who can see me from every f***ing angle, and I’m absolutely just convinced that if I move my body, there’s going to be poo on the floor.
Kate Winslet on the Graham Norton Show. Credit: BBC
“This is the most awful, awful thing.
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“Honestly, I practically slither off the stage, and I hide in a corner thinking ‘I’ve gotta check this sheet’.
“Ladies and gentleman, I had not actually done a poo. But the second I got into my dressing room and I ran into that bathroom – gunfire.”
You can watch the full clip here:
On YouTube, one person said: “Kate should get an award for that story. That’s why she so beloved.”
Another commented: “I knew Kate was talented but this is beyond hysterical.”
Someone else wrote: “Ladies and gentleman, witness the creation in real time of an all time classic Graham Norton Show story.”
Bez and Shaun Ryder are starring in a new gangster movie – nope, not kidding
Danny Jones
No, you didn’t misread the headline and you’re not on acid: Manchester music legends Bez and Shaun Ryder are set to feature in a brand-new gangster film.
Yes, the ones from the Happy Mondays – why are you having such trouble processing this?
Seriously though, we did a little double-take ourselves when we came across this news, but the familiar Manc faces look to be among the ensemble of a brand-new gangster movie by Irish writer, actor, producer and filmmaker, Ciaron Davies.
And this is just a little leak or rumour that may have been blown out of proportion: you can take it from the horse’s mouth as Happy Mondays frontman, Ryder, recently shared the news on social media.
As you can see, the new film is called Geezers and is billed as a “British crime caper” written and directed by Davies, featuring Shaun as hard-man Robbie and Bez as ‘Monk’. If you saw Ryder shaking off that snake biting his hand like it was nothing then you already know he’s hard as nails.
Although it’s not strictly listed as a comedy per se, ‘caper’ would suggest plenty of humour and light-heartedness, so we’re thinking more like The Gentleman, Italian Job, or maybe even Four Lions, rather than a serious crime thriller.
Now, while we’ve seen both of the Salfordians on screen before not only in the likes of music videos, interviews, panel shows and even as two of the funniest guests to ever go on Celebrity Gogglebox, this latest venture will serve as their respective acting debuts.
According to the IMDb page, the synopsis of the film is as follows: “Crime caper about a stolen bag of money. Caught in the crossfire are ‘The Geezers’ a bunch of wannabe criminals who have bitten off more than they can chew. With 24 hours to grab the cash, London may just go up in smoke tonight.”
Shame it’s not set on the mean streets of Manchester, or better yet Salford, but you’ve still very much caught our interest.
You can see the first promotional poster for the film down below.
As for Davies, he has been involved with a number of small-budget TV film projects, as well as appearing in shorts and even video games, so it’s fair to say that getting 62-year-old Ryder and his ever-energetic hype man, 60, involved is quite the coup for his movie-making career.
Although the film has no release date just yet, we know that filming locations having included parts of Warrington and Pinewood Studios, will be produced by Loose Gripp Films and distributed by publishers High Fliers.
Given the high-octane nature of Geezers and its genre, the feature will involve lots of action, stunts, violence and even martial arts – though how much kung-fu these two will have learned for the project remains to be seen…
All we know is that the film is supposedly “coming soon” and if you don’t want to see Bez and Shaun Ryder doing their best impression of a Guy Ritchie gangster movie then you’re lying to yourself. Praying for a Rowetta cameo to put the cherry on top.
Featured Images — Shaun Ryder (via X)/Loose Gripp Films/IMDb
TV & Showbiz
Greater Manchester cinemas are screening loads of classic Christmas films throughout December
Emily Sergeant
Cinemas across the UK will be screening loads of classic festive films in the run-up to Christmas, and you can already book tickets.
With the nights drawing in, the temperatures dropping by the day, and the most wonderful time of the year now firmly in our sights, film fans looking for some wholesome festive fun in the run-up to the big day itself will soon be able to head on down to their nearest Greater Manchester cinema to catch a classic on the big screen.
Vue, Odeon, and The Light are among the cinema chains set to screen a handful of beloved Christmas films throughout December.
Although there may already be a TV channel showing Christmas films 24/7 now on air in the UK, if you fancy seeing the festivities in full screen instead, then you can watch showings of fan-favourites like Elf, Home Alone, Love Actually, and more over the next few weeks.
Greater Manchester cinemas are screening loads of classic Christmas films throughout December / Credit: 20th Century Studios | Universal Pictures
You can also see seasonal screenings of live ballet, theatre, and concert performances too.
Undoubtably one of the highlights on the lineup this year, however, has to be The Polar Express, with several cinema chains scheduled to screen the 2004 animated Christmas gem to celebrate the 20th anniversary of its release.
Starring Tom Hanks alongside a talented supporting cast of voice actors, The Polar Express is based on the beloved children’s book by Chris Van Allsburg and tells the story of a young boy who boards a powerful magical train to visit Santa Claus’ home on Christmas Eve, learning about friendship, bravery, and the spirit of Christmas along the way.
Elf, Home Alone, and Love Actually are among the films on the lineup / Credit: Krists Luhaers (via Unsplash)
Looking for a more intimate festive film experience this Christmas?
Well you can also get yourself down to one of Manchester’s most popular hotels, King Street Townhouse, where a jam-packed lineup of classics will be screened in its very-own exclusive cinema over the next two months.
Here you can also complete your seasonal experience with festive-themed cocktails, popcorn, pick n mix, and a whole host of other treats too.
Daisy Jackson -
13th December 2022 
