Do you have fond memories of your school dinners, or did they scar you for life so much that you’ve tried to erase them from your memory ever since?
We have to admit that they make us nostalgic whatever way though.
In the week that Bernard Matthews officially announced the #ComebackOfTheCentury in the return of cult-classic school dinner food – the Turkey Twizzler – we thought there is no better time to take a trip down memory lane and have a look back at what was put on our multi-coloured plastic divider trays at lunch time as kids.
Both the retro and the slightly more modern options – we’ll always remember our school dinners.
This list of course isn’t definitive of every school dinner at every primary and secondary school across Greater Manchester spanning multiple decades, so don’t get too enraged if we’ve missed off your favourite food from back in the day.
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These are some of the classics though.
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Turkey Twizzlers
Bernard Matthews
Could we really start this list with anything else?
Before they were ripped from the menu for being too unhealthy for kids by chef Jamie Oliver in 2005, and then manufacturing ceased all together a few years later, Turkey Twizzlers pretty much summed up school dinners.
Why is it that all school dinners, especially primary school dinners, came drenched in beans?
And when we say drenched, we don’t just mean on the side of your plate where you expect them to be, we mean drenched. Baked beans are a classic accompaniment to any meal here in the UK, but perhaps none more so than at school.
We’re not complaining though.
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Cheese Whirls
That soggy cheesy/potato pastry combination will forever be ingrained in our minds.
If it wasn’t a cheese whirl served up at your school, then it was a slice of cheese pie, or perhaps some sort of cheese flan instead.
Whatever way, it was definitely soggy.
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Pasta King
Pasta King
One for the 00s-10s secondary school/college students out there – Pasta King.
Despite the fact it was about 75% water at the bottom and it always left you questioning why it couldn’t have just been drained out first, Pasta King was still a top-tier edition to the lunch time menu.
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Turkey Dinosaurs
If it wasn’t Turkey Twizzlers, then it was Turkey Dinosaurs.
They’re still made by manufacturers Bernard Matthews to this day, but probably don’t make their way onto school dinner plates quite as often. They never got quite as bad of a rep as Turkey Twizzlers, but maybe that’s because Jamie Oliver just didn’t want to force the turkey kind of dinosaurs into extinction after the real ones already had.
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Shout out to the other classic school dinner foods of potato smiley faces, spaghetti hoops and chips in the picture too.
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Crinkle-Cut Carrots
The carrots were always cut like this.
Why? Was it to make them look a little more exciting and appealing to kids? We’ve no idea.
The only thing we can guess at is that they’re probably bought cut like that in the packet, because we’ve never seen a carrot grow in that shape.
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School Dinner Sponge
Need we say more?
There’s perhaps no other school dinner dessert that was so well-loved by all than the classic ‘School Dinner Sponge Cake’ with the icing and multi-coloured sprinkles, and even to this day, people all across the UK are trying their hands at recreating the recipe at home.
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Angel Delight
AKA pink custard
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It was commonly known by kids as the ‘pink custard’, but is that really what it was? According to the Angel Delight packaging, it’s just described as a “dessert”, which really doesn’t give much away at all.
Not that it matters though – Angel Delight was a welcomed addition to any school dinner menu.
There are also multiple other flavours in the Angel Delight range, including chocolate, banana and butterscotch, but strawberry seemed to be the winner with lunch staff in schools and for that reason, it will always be known as ‘pink custard’.
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Arctic Roll
Arctic Roll / Birds Eye
You knew it was a good day when Arctic Roll was on the menu.
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We’re not really sure why it was such a taste combination revelation because in theory, it really shouldn’t work should it? And yes, nine times out of ten the cake was really dry, but we loved it anyway.
If ice cream and cake is an acceptable choice, then why not just stick the ice cream in the cake?
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Choc Ices
Choc Ices – who can forget that paper-thin blue and white striped packet?
In contradiction to the excitement you felt when Arctic Roll was on the menu, Choc Ices always just seemed to be a bit of a let down, didn’t they? Like a cop-out dessert chosen at the last minute, but looking back now though, we probably gave them a bit of a hard time.
A Choc Ice would go down quite well right about now.
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Lauren Laverne says she has ‘so much to be grateful for’ after getting the cancer all clear
Emily Sergeant
BBC presenter Lauren Laverne has been given the all clear following her cancer diagnosis earlier this year.
The 46-year-old star announced back in August that the cancer was detected ‘unexpectedly’ during a screening test, but revealed that it was luckily caught ‘early’ and that she was therefore expected to make a full recovery.
Laverne – who currently presents for BBC’s The One Show, as well as for BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs and on BBC Radio 6 Music too – thanked the “incredible skill and kindness” of the medical team treating her at the time of her diagnosis, as well as her family and friends who she said had been “extraordinary every step of the way”.
She also urged anyone avoiding a test or putting off a medical appointment to “get yourself checked out” as soon as possible.
Lauren Laverne asks for ‘good vibes’ after revealing cancer diagnosis / Credit: Lauren Laverne (via Instagram)
But now, several months after revealing to her thousands of fans that she had been diagnosed with cancer, Laverne has taken to Instagram once again to share the news that she has been given the all clear and that she now has “so much to be grateful for and excited about”.
“Just a quick update from me to say that, after taking some time off to get better, I’ve had the all clear and will be back to work on your TV this Tuesday with the wonderful The One Show team,” Laverne wrote on Instagram yesterday.
“I want to say a huge thank you to the brilliant medical teams who took such great care of me, to the thousands of people who sent me such beautiful and encouraging messages, my friends and the acquaintances who took the time to support me after going through cancer themselves, and most of all to my family.
“It’s been a difficult time, but one that has taught me so much about what really matters.
“I can’t say I suddenly regretted never having hiked the Inca Trail, more that I now see more beauty in ordinary things than I could have imagined, and feel more than ever that the small things in life – the connections we make and care we take with each other – are the big things really. I have so much to be grateful for and excited about, and that is thanks to everyone mentioned above.”
Laverne also sent “loads of love” to anyone going through cancer treatment or supporting a loved one through it.”
She also revealed that she’s been working on some new Desert Island Discs episodes, which will air soon on BBC Radio 4, and that she will also be returning to BBC Radio 6 Music in the new year too.
Rúben Amorim outlines the three key things Manchester United need to work on
Danny Jones
Rúben Amorim has conducted his first full press conference as Manchester United manager and has outlined the three key things he wants to address when it comes to his new team.
Amorim officially joined Man United on Monday, 11 November after being given a ‘now or never’ which meant he had to leave his former club Sporting CP in the middle of the season.
Replacing Erik ten Hag, who was sacked less than 24 hours after a 2-1 defeat to West Ham and had overseen a run of bad results, the contract extension he was given in the summer ultimately proved obsolete and now the Portuguese head coach must lift his new side from a measly 13th in the table.
That being said, speaking to the media in his first full pre-match presser ahead of his maiden Premier League outing against Ipswich Town this weekend, Amorim has already highlighted three key areas in which he wants United to improve as a matter of priority.
"I truly believe that I'm the right guy in the right moment" 👊
Ruben Amorim says he does not think managing Manchester United is the impossible job.#MUFC#bbcfootball 🇵🇹
What did Amorim say in his first full Man United press conference?
Although the 39-year-old coach – who is only three years older than resurgent centre-back Johnny Evans – started off by assuring that his main focus at its core is to win the next match (and the one after that, as the football cliché goes), he boiled the current squad issues down to a troublesome trio.
In his eyes, a lot of it just comes down to pure physical effort.
Improve possession
First and foremost, Amorim was quick to point out that United “lose the ball too often” and simply have to retain it more throughout the 90 minutes.
Although they have enjoyed spells of greater control in games, their average possessions stats in the Premier League not only under ten Hag but Ole Gunnar Solskjær and even short-lived interim boss Ralf Rangnick never flirted too far above 50-53%.
While that might sound like the signs of nothing more than a well-contested game, the club need to be looking at much higher numbers if they want to start being a dominant force again.
Track back more
The second area he said that the team desperately needs to improve in is the distances covered per match, especially when it comes to running back towards their own goal and tracking back during defensive phases.
Addressing it in a rather matter-of-fact manner, he told reporters: “We have to be better at running back, I think that is clear for everybody [to see].” He told Gary Neville something very similar in his other recent interview with Sky Sports.
"This is my place" ❤️
The smile on both Gary Neville and Ruben Amorim's face when the Manchester United head coach said this ☺ pic.twitter.com/dpKnnE69Nm
He said it with a smile on his face but it’s clear that he knows there is a narrative surrounding United in recent years that they just don’t work hard enough, both on and off the ball. Having played mainly in the middle of the park for Belenenses, Benfica and SC Braga, running is a non-negotiable.
Focus on the ‘details’ first
Lastly, Amorim said he believes one of the big things he can do for these players is to help them fine-tune the small things. He added that although there is a feeling that fans want there to be “a lot of change” and pressure to make “big” decisions, he reiterated that “it’s the small things.”
The former utility player knows a thing or two about playing in lots of positions and going back to the opening point of his press conference in which he discussed getting the team to believe in “one thing”, he believes that the minute differences can contribute to changing how they approach the game.
There is understandably lots of talk surrounding his trademark 3-4-3 formation and whether these details refer to tactical tweaks, we will see, but he insists that so long as they put in the effort and pay attention to the little stuff, those on the pitch will start to play in the same way that he wants them to.
You can watch his press conference ahead of the Ipswich away this Sunday in full down below:
Amorim was also happy to casually call out those who ‘don’t believe in’ his new players in his first press conference as Man United coach.
Emily Sergeant -
18th August 2020 
