Do you have fond memories of your school dinners, or did they scar you for life so much that you’ve tried to erase them from your memory ever since?
We have to admit that they make us nostalgic whatever way though.
In the week that Bernard Matthews officially announced the #ComebackOfTheCentury in the return of cult-classic school dinner food – the Turkey Twizzler – we thought there is no better time to take a trip down memory lane and have a look back at what was put on our multi-coloured plastic divider trays at lunch time as kids.
Both the retro and the slightly more modern options – we’ll always remember our school dinners.
This list of course isn’t definitive of every school dinner at every primary and secondary school across Greater Manchester spanning multiple decades, so don’t get too enraged if we’ve missed off your favourite food from back in the day.
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These are some of the classics though.
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Turkey Twizzlers
Could we really start this list with anything else?
Before they were ripped from the menu for being too unhealthy for kids by chef Jamie Oliver in 2005, and then manufacturing ceased all together a few years later, Turkey Twizzlers pretty much summed up school dinners.
Why is it that all school dinners, especially primary school dinners, came drenched in beans?
And when we say drenched, we don’t just mean on the side of your plate where you expect them to be, we mean drenched. Baked beans are a classic accompaniment to any meal here in the UK, but perhaps none more so than at school.
We’re not complaining though.
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Cheese Whirls
That soggy cheesy/potato pastry combination will forever be ingrained in our minds.
If it wasn’t a cheese whirl served up at your school, then it was a slice of cheese pie, or perhaps some sort of cheese flan instead.
Whatever way, it was definitely soggy.
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Pasta King
One for the 00s-10s secondary school/college students out there – Pasta King.
Despite the fact it was about 75% water at the bottom and it always left you questioning why it couldn’t have just been drained out first, Pasta King was still a top-tier edition to the lunch time menu.
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Turkey Dinosaurs
If it wasn’t Turkey Twizzlers, then it was Turkey Dinosaurs.
They’re still made by manufacturers Bernard Matthews to this day, but probably don’t make their way onto school dinner plates quite as often. They never got quite as bad of a rep as Turkey Twizzlers, but maybe that’s because Jamie Oliver just didn’t want to force the turkey kind of dinosaurs into extinction after the real ones already had.
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Shout out to the other classic school dinner foods of potato smiley faces, spaghetti hoops and chips in the picture too.
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Crinkle-Cut Carrots
The carrots were always cut like this.
Why? Was it to make them look a little more exciting and appealing to kids? We’ve no idea.
The only thing we can guess at is that they’re probably bought cut like that in the packet, because we’ve never seen a carrot grow in that shape.
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School Dinner Sponge
Need we say more?
There’s perhaps no other school dinner dessert that was so well-loved by all than the classic ‘School Dinner Sponge Cake’ with the icing and multi-coloured sprinkles, and even to this day, people all across the UK are trying their hands at recreating the recipe at home.
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Angel Delight
AKA pink custard
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It was commonly known by kids as the ‘pink custard’, but is that really what it was? According to the Angel Delight packaging, it’s just described as a “dessert”, which really doesn’t give much away at all.
Not that it matters though – Angel Delight was a welcomed addition to any school dinner menu.
There are also multiple other flavours in the Angel Delight range, including chocolate, banana and butterscotch, but strawberry seemed to be the winner with lunch staff in schools and for that reason, it will always be known as ‘pink custard’.
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Arctic Roll
You knew it was a good day when Arctic Roll was on the menu.
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We’re not really sure why it was such a taste combination revelation because in theory, it really shouldn’t work should it? And yes, nine times out of ten the cake was really dry, but we loved it anyway.
If ice cream and cake is an acceptable choice, then why not just stick the ice cream in the cake?
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Choc Ices
Choc Ices – who can forget that paper-thin blue and white striped packet?
In contradiction to the excitement you felt when Arctic Roll was on the menu, Choc Ices always just seemed to be a bit of a let down, didn’t they? Like a cop-out dessert chosen at the last minute, but looking back now though, we probably gave them a bit of a hard time.
A Choc Ice would go down quite well right about now.
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The player celebrations from Stockport County’s League Two trophy presentation are glorious
Danny Jones
If you’re a Stockport County fan, you’ve had a very good year as the Hatters have just been crowned League Two champions and will be back in the English third tier next season – safe to say they’ve been making most of the trophy celebrations.
Players and staff very much included.
Edgeley was filled with flares and even people climbing on rooftops when they officially secured promotion back to League One for the first time in 12 years – the second time they’ve managed to go up in three seasons – and there was a great attendance in Stockport town centre for the bus parade.
But it was last week’s trophy presentation back at the stadium that produced some of the most memorable scenes, with County topping off a season of impressive and often high-scoring performances on the pitch with plenty more pageantry. Cue the music.
We still haven’t stopped laughing at Kyle Knoyle.
From bringing Isaac Olaofe’s ‘Tanto’s on fire!’ chant to life to hammering home puns on names like Fraser Horsfall, no matter how obvious, these are the kind of deeply unserious celebrations we expect from a trophy presentation.
County fan or not, you’ve got to admit it looks like a good party.
It’s moments like these that players, fans and staff work hard all season for; to prat around like muppets in front of their adoring supporters. They even got assistant coach, Clint Hill, in the mix and, as it turns out, he proved to be one of the biggest ring-leaders.
We sincerely hope the Hatters keep trickling out more of these party scenes as we know there’s plenty more that fans would love to watch back.
We’re still yet to see captain Paddy Madden, who won Player of the Month for April, and the gaffer himself, Dave Challinor, who has comfortably secured his legacy as one of the club’s all-time greats.
Challinor and the club have made no secret of seriously eyeing up the Championship and who knows what else at County’s momentum continues to build, especially with a huge stadium redevelopment kicking off soon.
What do you reckon, Hatters – do you reckon a third promotion could be on the cards?
Liam Gallagher says he’ll ‘gig in Lidl’ if Co-op Live still isn’t ready – and they sound pretty game for it
Danny Jones
Following the ongoing palaver with Co-op Live, Liam Gallagher has joked that he’d happily play his scheduled gigs in a Lidl if the arena still isn’t ready – at least we think he’s joking…
With Liam Gallagher having been named as one of the first acts booked to play Co-op Live last year, many are now wondering whether the venue will even by June, with the former Oasis frontman set to play four Definitely Maybe 30th-anniversary sets. That being said, he’s come up with a solution if not.
Vintage LG, we’ll give him that.
Obviously a bit of a tongue-in-cheek quip at the venue being sponsored by a supermarket and convenience store chain, it could have been any other competitor that the ever-witty youngest Gallagher brother picked but it somehow made it extra funny that he chose a budget brand like Lidl.
However, with the 51-year-old already having fun with stunts like voicing the tannoys on the Metrolink last year, for instance, we wouldn’t put it past him to take this joke a little further.
Better still, not that we’re getting carried away or anything but Lidl themselves seem pretty keen on the idea too; they even spent the time to build an entire setlist for the fictional show. Fair play.
Can you imagine? Liam Gallagher swapping the occasional tambourine shake for beeps from a barcode scanner as he moves back and forth on the conveyor belt. We know it’s absolute nonsense and we definitely shouldn’t be even remotely considering it… BUT it’s the stuff of dreams and strange things have happened.
A lot of stranger things have happened this week alone. As for the latest with Co-op Live, the Chairman and CEO of key-backers Oak View Group, Tim Leiweke, issued a full statement sharing his “sincere apologies”and insisting that they understand “there is work to be done to rebuild your trust in us.”
With the likes of Olivia Rodrigo, Peter Kay, The Black Keys and more having their gigs pulled by the venue due to numerous issues, including an air conditioning unit falling from the ceiling, fans are understandably fearful that other upcoming events could face delays or general misfortune.
Much like the venue itself, we imagine we’ll be playing catch-up on this whole saga for the foreseeable, but here’s a recap of the story so far: