We can all agree, in terms of Christmas music, it has its bops and it has its flops.
Some songs do an incredible job of capturing that warm fuzzy feeling that Christmas can give you… others feel like they were purposely made just to drive you crazy.
And whether you’re into violins and jingling bells or pure festive pop, we’ve all got opinions about Christmas music.
So let’s take a look at five of the all-time bestChristmas songs and five of the absolute worst.
We know people will go to war in the name of their favourite Crimbo song, so before you start a crusade against us because your favourite is on the worst list, let me remind you this list is completely subjective… but we all know it’s right.
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The best Christmas songs ever written
White Christmas – The Drifters
Nothing lends itself more to Christmas than some classic doo-wop, that’s why White Christmas by The Drifters and only The Drifters is the best version of this festive classic. As soon as the band’s deep harmony kicks in at the start it fills the room with that Christmassy feeling.
2. Step Into Christmas – Elton John
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No era was better for Christmas music than the 70s and Elton John’s Step Into Christmas is its peak. Whether you’re putting up the tree, present shopping, having a festive boogie or eating your Christmas dinner, this song fits the vibe perfectly.
3. Christmas Wrapping – The Waitresses
We don’t think American new wave band The Waitresses knew the scale of what they were making when they were recording this anti-Christmas song. It instantly became a cult classic. Trust us, sit down and listen to the bass in this one, it’s so funky and usually by the time the sax comes into it we’re already up dancing.
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4. Wonderful Christmastime – Paul McCartney
As soon as this song starts with those synthy keys you know you’re in for a good’n, I mean who else is more equipped to write a jolly ol’ Christmas song than an ex-Beatle? It just feels like the epitome of Christmas.
5. Christmas Rappin’ – Kurtis Blow
By the time this song came out in 1979, rap was a relatively new genre on the scene. So for Kurtis Blow, the first commercially successful rapper, to release Christmas Rappin’ as his first song is insane but what a hit it was. Not your generic Christmas song but it’s something different and you can’t deny, that beat is infectious.
The worst Christmas songs ever written
Santa Tell Me – Ariana Grande
Not hate towards Ariana – she’s an honorary Manc after all – but Santa Tell Me is a massive flop. Nothing screams ‘I’m in a department store at Christmas time’ more than this song and I pray for any retail worker who has to hear this more than once on their wintery shifts.
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2. Everyday Is Christmas – SIA (The Whole Album)
You’re getting a whole 13-song album for this one. SIA did not need to make a full Christmas album but she did and it’s basically all the same song. Everything about it is bad, even down to the album art. There’s something about SIA’s voice that just doesn’t lend itself to festive music. Sorry SIA.
3. It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas
It’s not the singer, it’s the song. It doesn’t matter who is singing this one, it’s going on the worst list. When it’s the start of November why does every commercial company decide this is the perfect song to shove on every Christmas ad ever? And how does something with such cheerful lyrics manage to sound so glum?! It’s like a Winnie the Pooh Christmas song.
4. Underneath The Tree – Kelly Clarkson
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This one makes me feel like I’m in a silly little 00s British Christmas romcom and I absolutely hate it. How did she fall from Since U Been Gone to this utter trash? I’m not mad, Kelly, I’m just disappointed.
5. Feliz Navidad – Jose Feliciano
For a three-minute-long song, it does not need to repeat Feliz Navidad 21 times. There are literally only four different unique sentences in this one and they’re repeated over and over again. We get it Jose, you wanna wish me a Merry Christmas. Can you do it a bit more quietly I’ve got a Bailey’s hangover.
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Bez and Shaun Ryder are starring in a new gangster movie – nope, not kidding
Danny Jones
No, you didn’t misread the headline and you’re not on acid: Manchester music legends Bez and Shaun Ryder are set to feature in a brand-new gangster film.
Yes, the ones from the Happy Mondays – why are you having such trouble processing this?
Seriously though, we did a little double-take ourselves when we came across this news, but the familiar Manc faces look to be among the ensemble of a brand-new gangster movie by Irish writer, actor, producer and filmmaker, Ciaron Davies.
And this is just a little leak or rumour that may have been blown out of proportion: you can take it from the horse’s mouth as Happy Mondays frontman, Ryder, recently shared the news on social media.
As you can see, the new film is called Geezers and is billed as a “British crime caper” written and directed by Davies, featuring Shaun as hard-man Robbie and Bez as ‘Monk’. If you saw Ryder shaking off that snake biting his hand like it was nothing then you already know he’s hard as nails.
Although it’s not strictly listed as a comedy per se, ‘caper’ would suggest plenty of humour and light-heartedness, so we’re thinking more like The Gentleman, Italian Job, or maybe even Four Lions, rather than a serious crime thriller.
Now, while we’ve seen both of the Salfordians on screen before not only in the likes of music videos, interviews, panel shows and even as two of the funniest guests to ever go on Celebrity Gogglebox, this latest venture will serve as their respective acting debuts.
According to the IMDb page, the synopsis of the film is as follows: “Crime caper about a stolen bag of money. Caught in the crossfire are ‘The Geezers’ a bunch of wannabe criminals who have bitten off more than they can chew. With 24 hours to grab the cash, London may just go up in smoke tonight.”
Shame it’s not set on the mean streets of Manchester, or better yet Salford, but you’ve still very much caught our interest.
You can see the first promotional poster for the film down below.
As for Davies, he has been involved with a number of small-budget TV film projects, as well as appearing in shorts and even video games, so it’s fair to say that getting 62-year-old Ryder and his ever-energetic hype man, 60, involved is quite the coup for his movie-making career.
Although the film has no release date just yet, we know that filming locations having included parts of Warrington and Pinewood Studios, will be produced by Loose Gripp Films and distributed by publishers High Fliers.
Given the high-octane nature of Geezers and its genre, the feature will involve lots of action, stunts, violence and even martial arts – though how much kung-fu these two will have learned for the project remains to be seen…
All we know is that the film is supposedly “coming soon” and if you don’t want to see Bez and Shaun Ryder doing their best impression of a Guy Ritchie gangster movie then you’re lying to yourself. Praying for a Rowetta cameo to put the cherry on top.
Featured Images — Shaun Ryder (via X)/Loose Gripp Films/IMDb
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Blossoms at O2 Ritz Manchester – five-night hometown residency is already a triumph
Daisy Jackson
Blossoms are a band who were born and forged here in Greater Manchester, and now they’re back retracing their steps with a five-night residency across the venues that launched them into the big leagues.
Their star has risen all the way to arena level and headline shows at Wythenshawe Park at this point, especially here in their hometown, so the chance to see them back in these cosy-ish little venues is special, and a little bizarre.
For night two of their landmark sold-out gig series, it was the turn of the O2 Ritz, that sweaty spot off Oxford Road where the floor bounces downstairs and you stick to the carpets upstairs.
Poetically, the first time I ever saw Blossoms was in this very room in 2016, when they had the mid-afternoon slot at Neighbourhood festival and the queue to get in went all the way back to St Peter’s Square.
Since those days, Blossoms have come a long, long way, and their live show has evolved and matured from five lads thrashing on their instruments to this well-oiled, hip-swaying, flares-wearing, chart-topping machine.
There’s even choreography now – how fancy!
A stand-out moment from the show is actually a song from their new, fifth studio album Gary, which is still barely eight weeks old.
A spoof recording of legendary Manchester indie club 42s rings out, then all five band members abandon their stations, slinging keytars and marching drums around their necks so that they can dance together in front of neon signs.
Blossoms have just done their second of five shows in Manchester, this time at the O2 Ritz. Credit: The Manc GroupBlossoms on stage at the O2 Ritz in Manchester. Credit: The Manc Group
Blossoms promised more disco with this album and they bloody meant it. It’s not just the flares and the blow-dries and the moustaches (though those do help) – it’s in the funk and groove that’s gradually crept into their music exponentially with each album release.
This is still indie rock but it’s the most danceable of its genre. Good luck keeping your shoulders from wiggling and jiggling in here. Good luck keeping that grin off your face.
And Gary is one of the most unexpectedly fun albums to be released in the last year – the fact they called it Gary, named after a giant fibreglass garden centre Gorilla, should’ve been our clue. It could border on silly were it not such a masterpiece.
It seems like the only thing Blossoms are trying to prove is that you can be wildly successful without taking yourself too seriously. They just seem like a group who want to have a good time and it’s totally infectious.
Case in point – when each band member is introduced, keyboardist Myles Kellock plays the riff of Satisfaction by Benny Benassi and The Biz. Unexpected.
Blossoms also clearly give a sh*t about their live shows and graft at it – I’ve seen these guys an awful lot and it’s because their tour dates are plentiful and consistently worth the ticket price.
This is definitely the biggest era of their career so far, but have they peaked? Not even close.
Dean Hadcock -
24th December 2023 
