An infamous rant by Noel Gallagher about how rubbish Christmas is has resurfaced online and just in time for the holidays.
Right on cue, just like that advert with Santa driving the big lorry full of Coca-Cola.
In case you’ve never heard him rip festive fanatics a new one before, the legendary Manc musician pretty much loathes everything about the holiday season – or at least he once did, not that he’s one to dwell on beefs and grievances of any kind…
Speaking in a typically sarcastic Christmas message courtesy of visual arts and electronic outlets 180 Fact, the Oasis songwriter and lead guitarist starts nice and softly by simply stating: “The entire f***ing period is a stain on society – I f***ing hate it with a passion.”
A festive Gallagher grouch, through and through.
As you can see in the full short but not-so-sweet clip above, in which Noel manages to cram in countless gripes against everything from Christmas jingles, jumpers and songs, to even TV adverts, presenters and even the amount of food (what?…), the 57-year-old really isn’t very keen on it at all.
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He even took issue with charity singles like the 1985 ‘We Are the World’ song because god forbid any well-meaning soul embrace the spirit of giving come December.
Every year it rears its end, we particularly enjoy his bizarre tangent about a kid asking for an exotic spider or tree frog. Hyperbole and absurdity, we know, but still cracks us up.
The older Gallagher brother reels off pretty much every negative adjective you can think of for Christmas: “rubbish”, “boring”, “dogsh**” and so on. He even says he has turned his daughter Anais against the holiday and will continue to work on the other family members in the coming years.
Having said that, we’re not too sure how well all that is going or if Noel is still as vehement in his hatred of Christmas as he once was, especially given recent events. This you, mate, yeah?…
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Noel Gallagher hosted a star-studded Christmas party in London on Wednesday night.
The 57-year-old got into the festive spirit by inviting a load of his famous pals to celebrity hangout Chiltern Firehouse, which is frequented by the likes of Kate Moss, Rita Ora and even Tom… pic.twitter.com/0E8EnnXgTg
In all seriousness, we sincerely hope that now Oasis are officially back that Noel and all the other Gallagher family relations will be reunited once again this festive period and that everything will be absolutely hunky dory.
That being said, we’ve already had one early Christmas miracle with the two kissing and making up so we’re not going to push our luck too much because, let’s be honest, if it’s anything like anyone else’s Christmas, they’ll be at each other’s throats before you know it.
Please just stay friends until after the tour’s over, lads, we beg you.
What about you lot? Are you Christmas fans or, like Noel Gallagher, do you think it’s overrated tripe?
Keo play Projekts: garage and grunge revivalists crush Manchester skatepark for new music video
Danny Jones
This past Thursday evening, fast-rising rock band Keo took over Projekts MCR skatepark for a special pop-up gig and to film a brand-new music video for their latest single, ‘Pistol’, starring some of their biggest fans here in Manchester.
In fact, it didn’t take long for us to suss out that plenty of them had flocked from far and wide to be there, and let’s say we’re sure they’ll say it was worth the journey.
We caught Keo’s well-attended festival set inside the Woodlands at Kendal Calling 2025, not to mention their completely sold-out show at the O2 Ritz back in March – their biggest headline date up to that point – and we’re more certain than ever that they’re going to be absolutely massive.
And if they keep up doing more memorable stuff like this, it’s just a matter of how soon…
Packing out Projekts to the point that people were literally hanging off fences and standing on electrical boxes at the side of the street to try and get a peek at the post-punk, grunge and garage rockers, some of their most enthusiastic young fans had been waiting outside the location as early as noon.
For context, doors opened six hours later, and the boys didn’t come on until 7:30pm.
Those who signed up to Keo‘s mailing list were sent information regarding securing a spot at the one-off performance earlier this month.
While you would have seen the place fill up even if they were just standard concert tickets, the fact that the band were taping the whole thing to use as the visuals for their newest single, as mentioned, meant that Keo’s avid followers were literally clamouring AND clambering to get the best view position possible.
Turning the popular skaters’ hub’s central bowl into a makeshift stage, with lights, camera, booms and various crew surrounding the entire venue, it was a surreal experience to say the least.
And, of course, they were absolutely brilliant – just as they were at the Ritz at the start of the year and Kendal before that, playing a short but sweet set that left everyone wanting more and choruses of punters chanting Keo long after the final song.
We can’t wait to see how the video itself turns out, especially seeing how much the people who wrapped around them and the skatepark were lost in the moment, and we’re also looking forward to them headlining Neighbourhood Fest in Manchester city centre this October.
You can grab a ticket to see them and the rest of the NBHD lineup right HERE, but until then, give the full studio version of ‘Pistol’ a play and get ready for their debut album.
Oasis’ (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? named biggest UK studio album EVER by Official Charts
Danny Jones
You’re damn right: Oasis continue to be MASSIVE as new figures from the Official Charts Company have confirmed that (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? has clocked in as the biggest UK studio album of all time.
The Britpop icons and history go hand in hand.
Yes, according to the latest numbers by our domestic chart-crunchers, only two other albums surpassed Oasis‘ second LP – and they’re both greatest hits collections.
The announcement was made on Wednesday, 22 July, just over a whole year on from those reunion world tour shows at Heaton Park. How fitting.
Starting off by channelling Liam Gallagher energy and quipping that “Oasis vibes are in the area”, they go on to explain the colossal cumulative record.
“Oasis claim one of the biggest honours in British music history, they write, “as (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? is named the UK’s Official biggest studio album of all time, according to new Official Charts Company data.”
Combining UK sales of the record – both physical and digital over the years – along with modern streaming statistics, the sophomore outing from the Britpop giants has amassed approximately 6.2 million UK chart units. Staggering stuff.
Last year’s Live ’25 shows have no doubt helped give an added boost to their metrics, but it’s still gargantuan stuff from the local band.
Yet another incredible stat not just for the Burnage boys but the Manchester music scene as a whole.
2026 looks to be just as big a comeback, by the looks of things.
In case you were wondering who beat them out in the race for the top spot, they were pipped to the post by Queen’s Greatest Hits and the same again from ABBA, two worthy opponents to take third place after.
You can see the rest of the list in full right HERE.
Oh, and Definitely Maybe also made the list, too, coming in at number 39 – making that two in the top 50 even amongst all the compilations.
It feels like last July all over again, doesn’t it? And if now isn’t the perfect time to stick on the title track, we don’t know what is.
Actually, sod it – we’re sticking the full thing on…
Danny Jones -
16th December 2024 
