Manchester restaurant creates cheeky £69 per head Valentine’s menu
Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel - but let's be honest, there's no way they didn't do this on purpose.
Top Manchester bistro Kala has revealed its Valentine’s menu for 2023 and it’s equal parts naughty, raunchy, and (if you’re a little immature like us) downright funny.
No, we’re not referring to the chef’s dishes (although they do sound absolutely stunning). Rather, the thing that caught our eye was the price: with loved-up diners being charged exactly £69 per head to enjoy the romantic supper.
Surely someone’s got to be having a laugh on this one, and we’re absolutely cackling. Their followers clearly think it’s funny too, that is if the comments on the restaurant’s recent Instagram post are anything to go by.
Shared with the simple caption “Love is in the air. Valentine’s Day bookings now open”, the original menu post on the restaurant’s page makes no reference to the tongue-in-cheek price.
Mini doughnuts with dark chocolate sauce, honeycomb ice-cream and a nice slab of home made honeycomb. / Image: Kala Bistro
Chicken liver pate, farmer’s chutney and wholemeal sourdough toast – a Kala classic. / Image: Kala Bistro
However, fans were quick to pick up on it and quickly commented with a mixture of amusement and approval – with one person simply sending a trio of crying-laughing emojis, followed by a set of clapping hands.
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Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel – but let’s be honest, there’s no way they didn’t do this on purpose.
After all, a quick look at the Valentine’s page on its website reveals this little nugget: “We always say people who love to eat are our kind of people, so HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY to all you lovers out there!”
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Read into that what you will.
The newly-revealed Valentine’s menu at Kala Bistro is priced at exactly £69 a head. / Image: Kala Bistro
One of Kala’s most recent specials, made with tuna tartare, pickled cucumber, sesame, and salt and vinegar crisps. / Image: Kala Bistro
As for the menu itself, for that £69 it offers some really good value with a total of five courses including bread and butter pudding with ‘burnt toast’ ice cream and a giant rack of lamb, salad, meatballs and gnocchi ‘to share’ as a main.
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With bread and snacks to be enjoyed before starters, followed by mains including a huge roasted lamb rack ‘to share’, desserts, and a signature sweet to finish, it all sounds more than tempting.
Think nibbles like rosemary and thyme focaccia with olive oil and sea salt or seaweed crackers with oyster emulsion, followed by starters of BBQ Hispi cabbage with romesco brown shrimp dressing and salted almonds, confit duck leg with savoury pancake, crispy rice and cucumber relish, and burrata with truffled honey, rocket and hazelnut pesto, grilled sourdough and pickled grapes.
Dark chocolate mousse, coffee caramel, hazelnut praline mousseline, vanilla ice cream. / Image: Kala Bistro
Roast rump of lamb, Shepherds pie, watercress and spinach purée. / image: Kala Bistro
For mains, choices include the aforementioned roasted rack of lamb to share with salad, lamb meatballs and gnocchi marinara, or for the couples that want their own dish, there’s roasted chicken breast, poached halibut loin, and pan-fried potato gnocchi.
And for pudding, Kala’s rhubarb and pistachio trifle is served with white chocolate and a lemon thyme cookie, whilst elsewhere on the menu you’ll find sour cherry bread and butter pudding with Maraschino and burnt toast icecream, and a blood orange choux bun filled with salted dark chocolate custard, vanilla cream and hazelnut brioche.
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Last but not least, you can also each enjoy a marshmallow Krispie to finish before heading home to enjoy a little naughty dessert of your own (or not, whatever floats your boat).
Cosy pubs near the Manchester Christmas Markets where you can avoid the madness
Daisy Jackson
The Manchester Christmas Markets are in full flow for another year, and they are BUSY – so we’ve picked out the top pubs providing refuge from it all.
Once again, thousands of people are pouring into the city centre every weekend and evening to browse the massive range of food, drink and gifts being sold from the village of wooden huts that have appeared in town.
And there’s no denying that the markets do bring plenty of festive cheer to town, with toy town mugs in every hand and people munching on sausages as they walk.
But when the hustle and bustle and the cold all gets a bit much – and if you’re anything like us, one or two drinks at the Christmas Markets is plenty – you’ll be looking for respite.
And by respite, we mean a pub.
So here are the best pubs that are very near the Manchester Christmas Markets without actually being in the thick of it.
North Westward Ho, Chapel Walks
Beers at North Westward Ho. Credit: The Manc GroupNorth Westward Ho’s traditional interior. This pub is near the Market Street and King Street Christmas Markets
This stunning pub has been created by Pomona Island, the much-loved local craft brewery, and it’s handily located within staggering distance of the Albert Square, Market Street, Piccadilly Gardens AND King Street Christmas markets hubs.
Pomona Island has taken on a chunk of the former Chaophraya restaurant, turning the grand arch-windowed red-brick building into a pub serving their own craft beers – from the easy-drinking Factotum, to the excellent Phaedra pale ale.
And boy is it cosy – North Westward Ho feels like a proper Manchester pub that has been styled with dark wooden details, ornate tiling, wall sconces, oil paintings, dark green ceramic brick times, and loads of cosy corners.
It’s opened in a former bin store at Victoria StationThe Victoria Tap is one of the cosiest pubs near the Cathedral Gardens Christmas Markets
The Victoria Tap is a beer bar that’s completely transformed a corner of the station that was previously home to a bin store, and it’s a perfect place to pause between the Cathedral Gardens Christmas Markets and your train home.
You won’t miss your train either – on the wall inside the pub is a departures board that advises how many pints you can fit in before your train leaves.
Northern breweries on the taps at Victoria Tap include Brew York, Blackjack and Runaway, plus a good selection of European beers from the likes of kostritzer, Bitburger and Schremser.
Inside there are traditional parquet floors underfoot and a dark green bar running almost the whole length of the micropub.
This bar is at complete odds with its location – the sight of its cosy, calm interior at great odds to the madness of Market Street it sits behind.
Like an oasis in the desert, Cafe Beermoth is one of those pubs that provides serious Christmas Markets salvation when you need it most.
The Belgian-style beer cafe champions drinks from across the UK as well as further afield into Europe and America, though it has a strong bond with Manchester’s own Runaway Brewery.
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It’s one of those places you can visit solo or with a massive group and still be welcomed with the same open arms.
You wouldn’t think that the place to escape the madness of the Manchester Christmas Markets would be the Manchester Arndale, aka the biggest shopping mall in town and one that is RAMMED with shoppers in December.
But wedged into a corner of the Arndale Market is Micro Bar, a teeny tiny pub with a good selection of German and Belgian beers on keg plus hundreds of bottles and cans in the fridges.
If you’re quick and lucky, you can get a seat overlooking High Street and feel extra smug that you’re on the quiet side of the glass.
Formerly known as The Pilcrow, this shed-like pub on Sadler’s Yard is now in the very trustworthy hands of Cloudwater Brewery.
The space itself was built by local people through a series of workshops, with members of the public creating everything from the tabletops to the lampshades.
There is, of course, Cloudwater beers, but also plenty of others to choose from, a menu of natural wines, and both alcoholic and non-alcoholic cocktails.
The pub is also stumbling distance from Cathedral Gardens – you can practically skate here from the Christmas Markets ice rink.
Disappear from St Ann’s Square – where you can barely move for gluhwein and tinsel – and down into the cave-like wine bar that is Corbieres.
Something of a Manchester institution, this brilliant bar has a jukebox loaded with great music, and a decent range of wines and beers.
It also does free pizza with any drink purchased, Tuesday to Friday 4.30pm to 7.30pm.
AND, as they’re advertising themselves as an escape from the markets, they’re even happy for you to bring the food you buy at the markets into the bar.
Any of the Chop Houses are guaranteed to be maximum cosy, with their Victorian interiors still largely in tact and menus full of massive stodgy food.
There are two that are both right near the King Street batch of Christmas Markets – Sam’s is beneath the previously mentioned North Westward Ho, while Albert’s is within that iconic tall skinny building on Cross Street.
At this time of year they’re extra festive thanks to soft white fairy lights and candles.
52 Cross St, M2 7AR
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The Rat & Pigeon, Back Piccadilly
The Rat & Pigeon is a lovely cosy pub near the Manchester Christmas Markets
It will come as a surprise to precisely no one that the so-called ‘Winter Gardens’ at Piccadilly Gardens are possibly the most hectic spot of all in town.
Which is why we’d highly recommend slipping away to The Rat & Pigeon, where the Crown & Kettle team have transformed the former Mother Macs pub into a three-storey pub.
Each floor provides you with a different vibe, whether your evening involves a pint and a dartboard or a cocktail and a giant disco ball.
If you really want to get away from the crowds trudging the streets of the Manchester Christmas Markets, you need to get underneath the streets.
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Welcome to The Gas Lamp, a subterranean, tiled-wall haven where local craft brewery Pomona Island dominates the taps and fridges (alongside plenty of other great pints).
It’s also a paradise for whiskey drinkers and is just a quick dart beyond the King Street markets.
50a Bridge Street, M3 3BW
Mulligans of Manchester, Southgate
Mulligans. Credit: The Manc GroupMulligans. Credit: The Manc GroupMulligans is one of Manchester’s top pubs and a good escape from the Christmas Markets
Is Mulligans a quiet pub? Absolutely not. But if you can get yourself a seat in one of its cosy corners or snugs, with a steady stream of Guinness in front of you, it’s one of those places you won’t want to tear yourself away from in a hurry.
This legendary Irish boozer just off Deansgate makes for a perfect escape in winter, where there’s live music seven days a week and top-quality Irish stout on the taps.
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Last year they opened up a brand-new bar upstairs, but it’s still the cosy original pub downstairs that we try to cram into when the Manchester Christmas Markets are too much to bear.
V.Goode Pies – Michelin-recommended Manchester restaurant to launch new pie shop
Daisy Jackson
A new pie shop is set to open in Manchester this month – and it comes from the same team behind a Michelin-recommended restaurant.
Chefs Shaun Moffat (of Winsome fame) and Sam Grainger (Madre, Belzan, Doug’s and loads more) will be joining forces for V.Goode Pies.
The Oxford Road pie shop promises to serve ‘the kind of pies Manchester’s been waiting for’ that won’t cost the earth.
Shaun and Sam dreamed up the idea following the success of the pie offering at Winsome, which are a highlight of its proudly British menu.
Set to open on Oxford Road, you’ll find four core individual pies as well as breakfast pies.
There’ll be the option to have your pie served in a barm, Wigan kebab-style, or have it as it comes with a pot of gravy to dunk it in.
The pies at Winsome. Credit: The Manc GroupV.Goode Pies will open on Oxford Road in Manchester
As well as traditional fillings, V. Goode Pies will have more out-there bakes like a lasagne pie, where layers of pasta are packed into a pie crust.
You can also expect rotating specials and collaborations.
V.Goode Pies – or, to use its government name, Valerie Goode’s Pies – is inspired by co-founder Tom Fastiggi’s dinner lady grandmother and pie connoisseur.
V.Goode Pies will take over the old Loaf store on Oxford Road and is set to open on 18 November, with a pop-up also planned at Freight Island this winter.
The pie shop will be open Monday to Saturday, from 7am until they sell out.
Georgina Pellant -
19th January 2023 
