Manchester restaurant creates cheeky £69 per head Valentine’s menu
Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel - but let's be honest, there's no way they didn't do this on purpose.
Top Manchester bistro Kala has revealed its Valentine’s menu for 2023 and it’s equal parts naughty, raunchy, and (if you’re a little immature like us) downright funny.
No, we’re not referring to the chef’s dishes (although they do sound absolutely stunning). Rather, the thing that caught our eye was the price: with loved-up diners being charged exactly £69 per head to enjoy the romantic supper.
Surely someone’s got to be having a laugh on this one, and we’re absolutely cackling. Their followers clearly think it’s funny too, that is if the comments on the restaurant’s recent Instagram post are anything to go by.
Shared with the simple caption “Love is in the air. Valentine’s Day bookings now open”, the original menu post on the restaurant’s page makes no reference to the tongue-in-cheek price.
Mini doughnuts with dark chocolate sauce, honeycomb ice-cream and a nice slab of home made honeycomb. / Image: Kala Bistro
Chicken liver pate, farmer’s chutney and wholemeal sourdough toast – a Kala classic. / Image: Kala Bistro
However, fans were quick to pick up on it and quickly commented with a mixture of amusement and approval – with one person simply sending a trio of crying-laughing emojis, followed by a set of clapping hands.
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Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel – but let’s be honest, there’s no way they didn’t do this on purpose.
After all, a quick look at the Valentine’s page on its website reveals this little nugget: “We always say people who love to eat are our kind of people, so HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY to all you lovers out there!”
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Read into that what you will.
The newly-revealed Valentine’s menu at Kala Bistro is priced at exactly £69 a head. / Image: Kala Bistro
One of Kala’s most recent specials, made with tuna tartare, pickled cucumber, sesame, and salt and vinegar crisps. / Image: Kala Bistro
As for the menu itself, for that £69 it offers some really good value with a total of five courses including bread and butter pudding with ‘burnt toast’ ice cream and a giant rack of lamb, salad, meatballs and gnocchi ‘to share’ as a main.
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With bread and snacks to be enjoyed before starters, followed by mains including a huge roasted lamb rack ‘to share’, desserts, and a signature sweet to finish, it all sounds more than tempting.
Think nibbles like rosemary and thyme focaccia with olive oil and sea salt or seaweed crackers with oyster emulsion, followed by starters of BBQ Hispi cabbage with romesco brown shrimp dressing and salted almonds, confit duck leg with savoury pancake, crispy rice and cucumber relish, and burrata with truffled honey, rocket and hazelnut pesto, grilled sourdough and pickled grapes.
Dark chocolate mousse, coffee caramel, hazelnut praline mousseline, vanilla ice cream. / Image: Kala Bistro
Roast rump of lamb, Shepherds pie, watercress and spinach purée. / image: Kala Bistro
For mains, choices include the aforementioned roasted rack of lamb to share with salad, lamb meatballs and gnocchi marinara, or for the couples that want their own dish, there’s roasted chicken breast, poached halibut loin, and pan-fried potato gnocchi.
And for pudding, Kala’s rhubarb and pistachio trifle is served with white chocolate and a lemon thyme cookie, whilst elsewhere on the menu you’ll find sour cherry bread and butter pudding with Maraschino and burnt toast icecream, and a blood orange choux bun filled with salted dark chocolate custard, vanilla cream and hazelnut brioche.
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Last but not least, you can also each enjoy a marshmallow Krispie to finish before heading home to enjoy a little naughty dessert of your own (or not, whatever floats your boat).
Huge waterside food hall to breathe life into old Manchester warehouse
Georgina Pellant
A new waterside food hall is tipped to open in Manchester as the Allied London team set their sites on a former warehouse on the banks of the river Irwell.
Sitting on the cusp of Spinningfields and Salford, Shipyard, as it will be known, will take inspiration from popular existing concepts such as Manchester’s Mackie Mayor, Lisbon’s Time Out Market, and the Kyiv Food Market.
Located on the corner of Water Street and New Quay Street, according to plans submitted to Manchester City Council it will move into a long-empty warehouse formerly known as Albert Shed.
Due to open in the same part of town as the hotly-anticipated new venue Factory International, after sitting empty for years it’s hoped that the new project will breathe some new life back into the area.
Promising to bring a mix of artisan vendors and ‘rolling smaller stalls’, the new food hall plans to create a new riverside dining destination in the Manchester neighbourhood of St. Johns.
Developers want to transform the existing first floor car park of the building into a food hall, then add a second mezzanine level to provide more seating.
Image: Albert’s Shed / Allied London
A statement to planners said: “We have been working alongside Allied London on the Shipyard (formerly Albert Sheds) to create a new riverside dining destination within the prime location in St. John’s Masterplan.
“Being one of the few original industrial buildings left within the city centre, its high ceilings and waterfront location will provide the perfect atmosphere from day to night.
“Our proposals are to repurpose the former warehouse into an eclectic and curated destination that compliments the wider St. Johns Masterplan, by encouraging a mix of artisan vendors and rolling smaller stalls.”
“It is envisaged that the food hall will become more visible during dusk and evening time as the interior is illuminated,” the documents added. “The form of the timber canopy will provide solar shading from morning sun whilst at night the internal space will illuminate the river side.”
Feature image – Alberts Shed / Allied London
Eats
This Manchester restaurant is selling fondue burgers drenched in Guinness gravy
Georgina Pellant
A restaurant in Manchester has brought back its popular Guinness gravy-drenched fondue burgers, and we’re absolutely chuffed about it.
Initially created to mark the feast of St Patrick’s last year, Honest Burgers has put its special Guinness-soaked burgers back on the menu for the whole of February.
Comprised of Honest’s classic hand-shaped beef patty, candied bacon, molten fondue, a Guinness beef and bacon gravy, crispy onions, rocket and pickles, it’s made in collaboration with the Irish dry stout makers themselves and is quite the naughty delight.
To create the special Guinness gravy they are using 52 pints of the black stuff in every batch – so you know it’s got some heft.
Image: Honest Burgers
Image: Honest Burgers
Available at the burger restaurant all month for £14, the Guinness gravy fondue burger is served with Honest’s signature rosemary and sea salt fries and, for this month only, you can also enjoy a pint of draught Guinness on the side to wash it down with.
Priced at £14 in the restaurant or £15 for at-home delivery, the limited edition burger is available at all Honest Burger restaurants from 1 to 28 February.
Adam Layton, Honest Burgers Head of Food, said: “Our Guinness Fondue burger is a fan favourite and packed with pints and pints of the ‘black stuff’.
“We make beer fondue cheese with cheddar and mozzarella for the essential cheese pull shot and keep plenty of Guinness aside for our homemade stout & bacon gravy, which is of course applied liberally.”
Georgina Pellant -
19th January 2023 
