Manchester restaurant creates cheeky £69 per head Valentine’s menu
Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel - but let's be honest, there's no way they didn't do this on purpose.
Top Manchester bistro Kala has revealed its Valentine’s menu for 2023 and it’s equal parts naughty, raunchy, and (if you’re a little immature like us) downright funny.
No, we’re not referring to the chef’s dishes (although they do sound absolutely stunning). Rather, the thing that caught our eye was the price: with loved-up diners being charged exactly £69 per head to enjoy the romantic supper.
Surely someone’s got to be having a laugh on this one, and we’re absolutely cackling. Their followers clearly think it’s funny too, that is if the comments on the restaurant’s recent Instagram post are anything to go by.
Shared with the simple caption “Love is in the air. Valentine’s Day bookings now open”, the original menu post on the restaurant’s page makes no reference to the tongue-in-cheek price.
Mini doughnuts with dark chocolate sauce, honeycomb ice-cream and a nice slab of home made honeycomb. / Image: Kala Bistro
Chicken liver pate, farmer’s chutney and wholemeal sourdough toast – a Kala classic. / Image: Kala Bistro
However, fans were quick to pick up on it and quickly commented with a mixture of amusement and approval – with one person simply sending a trio of crying-laughing emojis, followed by a set of clapping hands.
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Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel – but let’s be honest, there’s no way they didn’t do this on purpose.
After all, a quick look at the Valentine’s page on its website reveals this little nugget: “We always say people who love to eat are our kind of people, so HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY to all you lovers out there!”
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Read into that what you will.
The newly-revealed Valentine’s menu at Kala Bistro is priced at exactly £69 a head. / Image: Kala Bistro
One of Kala’s most recent specials, made with tuna tartare, pickled cucumber, sesame, and salt and vinegar crisps. / Image: Kala Bistro
As for the menu itself, for that £69 it offers some really good value with a total of five courses including bread and butter pudding with ‘burnt toast’ ice cream and a giant rack of lamb, salad, meatballs and gnocchi ‘to share’ as a main.
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With bread and snacks to be enjoyed before starters, followed by mains including a huge roasted lamb rack ‘to share’, desserts, and a signature sweet to finish, it all sounds more than tempting.
Think nibbles like rosemary and thyme focaccia with olive oil and sea salt or seaweed crackers with oyster emulsion, followed by starters of BBQ Hispi cabbage with romesco brown shrimp dressing and salted almonds, confit duck leg with savoury pancake, crispy rice and cucumber relish, and burrata with truffled honey, rocket and hazelnut pesto, grilled sourdough and pickled grapes.
Dark chocolate mousse, coffee caramel, hazelnut praline mousseline, vanilla ice cream. / Image: Kala Bistro
Roast rump of lamb, Shepherds pie, watercress and spinach purée. / image: Kala Bistro
For mains, choices include the aforementioned roasted rack of lamb to share with salad, lamb meatballs and gnocchi marinara, or for the couples that want their own dish, there’s roasted chicken breast, poached halibut loin, and pan-fried potato gnocchi.
And for pudding, Kala’s rhubarb and pistachio trifle is served with white chocolate and a lemon thyme cookie, whilst elsewhere on the menu you’ll find sour cherry bread and butter pudding with Maraschino and burnt toast icecream, and a blood orange choux bun filled with salted dark chocolate custard, vanilla cream and hazelnut brioche.
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Last but not least, you can also each enjoy a marshmallow Krispie to finish before heading home to enjoy a little naughty dessert of your own (or not, whatever floats your boat).
Inside Manchester’s new padel club with a Pot Kettle Black cafe and courtside cocktail bar
Daisy Jackson
Padel is the fastest-growing sport in the world, and it’s really picking up speed in Manchester now too with another city centre club opening this month.
The Pollen Club is a little different to the others, in that it’s fully undercover and protected from Manchester’s less-than-favourable weather.
And another thing that makes it a must-visit is the cafe attached to it – a third site for the beloved Pot Kettle Black.
The Pollen Club and Pot Kettle Black have both taken over a prominent city centre spot just off Deansgate, at the foot of the recently-opened Treehouse Hotel.
There are two state-of-the-art padel courts inside, with a mezzanine terrace for enjoy Pot Kettle Black’s offerings.
In summer, there are plans to launch a bar downstairs too, where you can sip spritzes courtside from loungers and swing seats.
The exciting new Manchester padel club will host pop up events, DJ takeovers and an extended evening food offering.
Pot Kettle Black are part of the new padel clubInside Manchester’s new padel club, The Pollen ClubPot Kettle Black are part of the new padel club
And even if you’re not heading inside The Pollen Club, Pot Kettle Black has a grab-and-go hatch facing onto Blackfriars Street, making their delicious coffees, sandwiches and pastries (from their own bakery Half Dozen Other) even more accessible.
Commenting on the opening of the new site, Pot Kettle Black co-owner, Mark Flanagan said: “We’re absolutely thrilled to have opened our third Pot Kettle Black site at The Padel Club. This achievement is a testament to the hard work and dedication of the team.
“After ten years in the city we’ve been enjoying seeing some familiar faces stopping by for a coffee and we can’t wait to get started on our programme of summer events!”
Insomnia Cookies is giving away FREE cookies to anyone with these two names
Emily Sergeant
Manchester’s late-night sweet treat spot Insomnia Cookies is dishing out freebies this week… but there’s a catch.
You have to be called one of two specific names to get one.
With the long bank holiday weekend upon us, those in-the-know will also have noticed that this Sunday isn’t just Easter Sunday, it also happens to be 4/20… and that means Insomnia Cookies is back with its ‘blazing’ £4.20 deal, giving you the chance to bag a box of four warm cookies while saving nearly £7 at the same time.
But even better still, if you happen to have either the first or middle name ‘Mary’ or ‘Jane’, then you can also get yourself a warm tasty cookie for free.
To mark both 4/20, and celebrate the launch of its newest strain of mouthwatering cookie, the Mary Jane, anyone called Mary or Jane can pop into either of Insomnia Cookies’ two Manchester city centre sites – Cross Street and University Green – show their valid ID with their name on, and walk alway with a cookie free of charge.
If you want to try the new Mary Jane cookie, then this limited-edition special is made up of a cookies n cream dough base, packed with rainbow sprinkles.
The freebie deal has been running all week, and you have up until 3am on Monday 21 April to take advantage of it.
Customers will be limited to one free cookie per day.
Insomnia Cookies is giving away free cookies to anyone with these two names / Credit: Insomnia Cookies UK
If you aren’t lucky enough to be called one of those two names though, then thankfully you can still make some great savings on a classic four-pack of cookies over the spring bank holiday weekend, and for every four-pack sold, £1 will be donated to Groundwork – a charity helping make Manchester greener for nature and for local people.
“We’re calling for Marys and Janes to join us to live the high life with free cookies all week,” commented Millie Ralston, Head of Marketing at Insomnia Cookies.
Georgina Pellant -
19th January 2023 
