In case you didn’t already know, there’s a Manchester Facebook group dedicated to immortalising stupid comments overheard in the Northern Quarter, and it’s completely hilarious.
Whilst we don’t really have that much time for Facebook nowadays, this community group is so funny that it’s worth signing back in for – even if you’ve ditched the platform for good.
Chronicling all of the neighbourhood’s weird, wonderful, banal and basic goings-on, if you’ve ever found yourself wanting a birds-eye view of one of Manchester’s quirkiest neighbourhoods, well, this is it.
From candid pictures and videos of the eccentric characters who line its streets, to amusing observations and surreal conversational snippets, you’ll never see the district in the same light again.
Prepare yourself, though, because it’s about to get a little bit weird.
From a guy who seemingly wanders the streets whispering and clutching a seagull late at night, to a man who pushes his cat in a pram and an owl that gets about perched on a guy’s shoulder, the Northern Quarter is forever full of surprises.
Here are some of our favourite quotes to date:
‘Passing the Mini-Mart, and a young couple ask each other whether it is a cocktail bar.’ – Dan
‘Couple coming out of The Millstone: “My gosh that was like stepping into Bolton!”‘ – Jake
‘”Oooh is that the Trafford Centre?” / “No it’s Affleck’s Palace.”‘ – James
‘”If you drop that pizza I’ll smack you in the face” – 12am outside Black Dog’ – Jessica
‘”I’d be more upset if Dianna was dead” / She is dead…”‘ – Jack-Cameron
“I take a lot of drugs yeah, but I’ve only lost my shoes once” – James
“If it bleeds we can ferment it” – Madeleine
A cat in a parm. / Image: Martin Maddox via Overheard in the Northern Quarter
‘On approach to The Millstone – “Let’s get wrecked in here before we head to The Ivy.” – Danny
‘Guy on the phone near Shudehill: “Mate, what I’m trying to tell you is if you were in the ocean, you’d be king of the ocean.” / A few seconds later: “What I know about the king of the ocean is, the king of the ocean, would come out tonight.” – James
‘”I don’t like Aperol Spritz, it tastes like sadness.” – Thomas Street.’ – Jack
“She didn’t even know what a bottomless brunch was.” – Bella
‘Not overheard but I’ve just walked past a man carrying an owl like a baby.’ – Aims
‘”Man had a cat in a pram though” – Bouncer (photographic evidence of cat in pram available upon request)’ – Jimmy
“I REALLY hope ‘Hipster’ is finally over mate” / Yeah sick of everyone looking like a vintage New York Docker whose trousers shrank in the wash” / Good news for now – but what will replace it?” / “Probably Pets With Pronouns” / “That’s a fucking mint Album Title right there mate” (Pair that looked like musicians – Idle Hands coffee shop) – Chris
Image: Chloe O’Toole via Overheard in the Northern Quarter
Image: Shaun Anthony via Overheard in the Northern Quarter
‘Two lads walking into Oldham Street from the Piccadilly Gardens end on a busy night: Lad 1: If this was a foreign city, and you were walking down here right now, what would you be thinking? Lad 2: Shithole Lad 1: Right!’ – Lucian
‘“I slept with someone with a vajazzle once” / “What was her name?” / “John” – Thomas St just now.’ –Alex
“You shag by the canal, say your goodbyes, then you fuck off” – Chloe
‘Was in Crazy pedros and some lad and his mate sat down and one of them went “bon appe seat”‘ – Matt
Image: Rob Craven via Overheard in the Northern Quarter
The crisp poem. / Image: Rob Halfpenny via Overheard in the Northern Quarter
‘”Girl “Eurgh, he was just some fresh out of the womb child. 18 years old is too young” / Guy ”aren’t you only 20?” / Girl “yeah” / Guy “it hardly makes you a pedophile then”’ – Alex
‘”I hope someone puts something I say on that overheard in northern quarter group one day, that would be jokes.” Wish granted bro.’ – Jacob
Manchester’s very own Jamie Hutchinson announces new stand-up tour dates
Danny Jones
Manchester comedian Jamie Hutchinson has just announced arguably his biggest domestic tour yet, and despite plenty of gigs around the North, he’s playing just one hometown headline slot.
So you’d best be quick about grabbing tickets.
The local stand-up has seen a huge rise in popularity over the last few years, not only thanks to his regular gigging on the live circuit, but numerous standout podcast performances and, in short, by being one of the most amusing comic storytellers around – at least as far as we’re concerned.
Now set to embark on an extensive run of UK shows early next year, Jamie Hutchinson is getting back on the road with his latest material very soon.
Taking his new hour, Can My Mate Come, He’s Sound (see, even his titles are low-key genuinely funny) on tour, the crown prince of Gorton, a.k.a. ‘Mash’ himself, is playing venues up and down the country, including plenty here in the North West.
After all, he can’t drive, so best keep the long train journeys to a minimum, eh?
To quote Broadway Baby, who shared their positive words only recently, their newest project promises a “brand-new hour of unfiltered mayhem, questionable logic and emotional chaos held together by takeaway boxes and blind optimism.”
If that isn’t a glowing review, then we don’t know what is..
The Hot Water’s Green Room host and regular Have A Word podcast favourite delighted his crowds and newcomers alike with his record-breaking Waterslide tour, which ran from 2023 all the way into last year, and now he’s looking to repeat that same success. As it happens, multiple dates have sold out already.
With more than 700 tickets sold within the first hour of presale alone, it’s no surprise that the likes of Chorley, Chester (already gone) and soon both of his Liverpool shows are soon to be sold out.
As for his Academy One show on Sunday, 24 May 2026 – which is just about the biggest Manc venue he’s played to date – we expect it won’t be long before that one books up too.
We can always hope he tacks on extra dates on the UK tour, but if you’re a Jamie Hutchinson fan, you’re still best just making sure you secure your seat while you can. Grab yours HERE.
Let’s just pray he makes it home in time for his appointment with ‘Dr Catford’…
He’s yet to record a live taping of a special, but this is the kind of charming nonsense you can expect.
Manchester’s largest outdoor ice rink is returning to the city centre this festive season
Emily Sergeant
Manchester’s massive outdoor ice rink has been confirmed for a return to Cathedral Gardens once again this festive season.
Skate Manchester has always been a festive staple of our city centre, and there’s also a flurry of other frozen events and activities planned for 2025 too – including the return of the Scare Skate for Halloween.
Following success in previous years, Scare Skate returns this spooky season, and families, friends, and festive fun seekers visiting the rink this season can expect Halloween-themed music, lighting, and themed props to ignite the fright factor.
After Halloween, the magic continues as the rink transforms into a festive wonderland.
Manchester’s largest outdoor ice rink is returning to the city centre this festive season / Credit: Supplied
Skaters can expect to glide across a gleaming ice path and spin around a dazzling seven-metre Christmas tree taking centre stage in the middle of the rink.
You’ll be able to enjoy the sights and sounds of Christmas whatever the weather has in store for our city this year too, as although the rink will be outdoors in the heart of Cathedral Gardens, the ice is fully covered.
The rink will also offer a variety of skate sessions tailored to meet the needs of all visitors, which includes dedicated quiet and toddler sessions designed for a more relaxed environment, along with discounted tickets and weekly events for students.
New this year is the Skate on and Skate off ‘Pit Lane’ available during skating for those needing a break and a hot chocolate or mulled wine, plus a VIP ticket option allowing for a fast-track entry into the rink.
Super early bird tickets are now available to buy / Credit: Supplied
Skate Manchester is also one of the most sustainable events in the UK, thanks to being partially powered by the grid.
“We’re proud to bring one of the top five largest ice rinks in the UK to Manchester once more, as part of our mission to create magical and sustainable winter events that will set the standard for winter attractions globally,” commented Rob Derry, who is the Director at Tamarisk Events, the company that coordinates the event.
“By being partially powered by the grid, Skate Manchester is one of the more environmentally responsible attractions of its kind, allowing visitors to enjoy the magic of skating with a lighter footprint.”
Skate Manchester will be returning to the city on Saturday 25 October and running right up until Sunday 4 January 2026, with super early bird tickets now available to get your hands on, and discounted family tickets and student night tickets also available.
You can find more information and to book tickets here.
Georgina Pellant -
23rd September 2022 
