In case you didn’t already know, there’s a Manchester Facebook group dedicated to immortalising stupid comments overheard in the Northern Quarter, and it’s completely hilarious.
Whilst we don’t really have that much time for Facebook nowadays, this community group is so funny that it’s worth signing back in for – even if you’ve ditched the platform for good.
Chronicling all of the neighbourhood’s weird, wonderful, banal and basic goings-on, if you’ve ever found yourself wanting a birds-eye view of one of Manchester’s quirkiest neighbourhoods, well, this is it.
From candid pictures and videos of the eccentric characters who line its streets, to amusing observations and surreal conversational snippets, you’ll never see the district in the same light again.
Prepare yourself, though, because it’s about to get a little bit weird.
From a guy who seemingly wanders the streets whispering and clutching a seagull late at night, to a man who pushes his cat in a pram and an owl that gets about perched on a guy’s shoulder, the Northern Quarter is forever full of surprises.
Here are some of our favourite quotes to date:
‘Passing the Mini-Mart, and a young couple ask each other whether it is a cocktail bar.’ – Dan
‘Couple coming out of The Millstone: “My gosh that was like stepping into Bolton!”‘ – Jake
‘”Oooh is that the Trafford Centre?” / “No it’s Affleck’s Palace.”‘ – James
‘”If you drop that pizza I’ll smack you in the face” – 12am outside Black Dog’ – Jessica
‘”I’d be more upset if Dianna was dead” / She is dead…”‘ – Jack-Cameron
“I take a lot of drugs yeah, but I’ve only lost my shoes once” – James
“If it bleeds we can ferment it” – Madeleine
A cat in a parm. / Image: Martin Maddox via Overheard in the Northern Quarter
‘On approach to The Millstone – “Let’s get wrecked in here before we head to The Ivy.” – Danny
‘Guy on the phone near Shudehill: “Mate, what I’m trying to tell you is if you were in the ocean, you’d be king of the ocean.” / A few seconds later: “What I know about the king of the ocean is, the king of the ocean, would come out tonight.” – James
‘”I don’t like Aperol Spritz, it tastes like sadness.” – Thomas Street.’ – Jack
“She didn’t even know what a bottomless brunch was.” – Bella
‘Not overheard but I’ve just walked past a man carrying an owl like a baby.’ – Aims
‘”Man had a cat in a pram though” – Bouncer (photographic evidence of cat in pram available upon request)’ – Jimmy
“I REALLY hope ‘Hipster’ is finally over mate” / Yeah sick of everyone looking like a vintage New York Docker whose trousers shrank in the wash” / Good news for now – but what will replace it?” / “Probably Pets With Pronouns” / “That’s a fucking mint Album Title right there mate” (Pair that looked like musicians – Idle Hands coffee shop) – Chris
Image: Chloe O’Toole via Overheard in the Northern Quarter
Image: Shaun Anthony via Overheard in the Northern Quarter
‘Two lads walking into Oldham Street from the Piccadilly Gardens end on a busy night: Lad 1: If this was a foreign city, and you were walking down here right now, what would you be thinking? Lad 2: Shithole Lad 1: Right!’ – Lucian
‘“I slept with someone with a vajazzle once” / “What was her name?” / “John” – Thomas St just now.’ –Alex
“You shag by the canal, say your goodbyes, then you fuck off” – Chloe
‘Was in Crazy pedros and some lad and his mate sat down and one of them went “bon appe seat”‘ – Matt
Image: Rob Craven via Overheard in the Northern Quarter
The crisp poem. / Image: Rob Halfpenny via Overheard in the Northern Quarter
‘”Girl “Eurgh, he was just some fresh out of the womb child. 18 years old is too young” / Guy ”aren’t you only 20?” / Girl “yeah” / Guy “it hardly makes you a pedophile then”’ – Alex
‘”I hope someone puts something I say on that overheard in northern quarter group one day, that would be jokes.” Wish granted bro.’ – Jacob
Kala announces closure after more than half a decade in Manchester city centre
Danny Jones
Another hit for the Manchester hospitality sector as city centre cult favourite Kala has announced it has closed with immediate effect.
The Manc bistro, beloved for putting a contemporary slant on British and French classics, was opened by restaurateur Gary Usher back in 2021, receiving plenty of positive press over the years.
Announcing the shutdown on Tuesday evening (24 June), Usher shared an extended statement on social media, explaining the details behind the decision – but there was one, clear, overriding reason.
Confirming the news on Instagram, the chef-owner wrote: “Gary Usher here.. It’s with a heavy heart that I announce the immediate closure of Kala. I’m not really sure how to explain why we’ve closed other than we weren’t busy enough to cover our costs.
“I really really want to blame the economy and the pandemic. I really want to say the rising costs have made it impossible. All those factors haven’t helped, but we are 50% down in trade at Kala, and that is the killer.”
Nevertheless, Kala’s reputation has remained strong throughout, boasting one of the best elevated albeit accessible evening and lunch deals in the city centre, not to mention at very reasonable prices.
Moreover, they were famed for their stunning Sunday dinners, with Sacha Lord dubbing them the best roasts in Manchester he’s had “in ages.”
Usher goes on to add: “It goes without saying our business rates [are] increasing substantially, and the hike in NIC [national insurance] contributions only works against us. This was not planned, but neither was us being this quiet in June. All the Kala team will be paid up to date, our rent & suppliers too.
“If you have a voucher with us, as always, it can be used in the wider group. It was always a dream to have a restaurant on King Street in Manchester. I just wish it had lasted longer than 6 years.
“Thank you to all the team past & present & I’m so sorry to all of you and all the guests that I couldn’t create something with longevity.
“Please come and visit us in Didsbury at Hispi where it will be our pleasure to welcome you. Farewell, King Street. Farewell Kala. Gary.”
We’re back after a busy Sunday lunch service with our Monday lunch options. Don’t forget our great value bistro menu is available all evening too. pic.twitter.com/TtV4grWurK
Kala closing marks yet another local business we’re gutted to see go, as it was only earlier this month that we had to bid goodbye to both Medlock Canteen and Indian street food spot, Rola Wala, which closed on Monday.
Safe to say it’s been a gutting few days for local food and drink.
With that being said, please do support the Elite Group’s remaining restaurants where you can, which include the aforementioned Hispi, The Sticky Walnut in Chester, The White Horse in the Cheshire village of Churton, as well as Wreck in Liverpool.
All we can say is thanks for the memories and the brilliant food.
First look at Zaap Thai as popular Thai street food restaurant opens in Manchester
Daisy Jackson
A Thai street food restaurant with sites all over the North has finally announced plans to come to Manchester for the first time.
Zaap Thai is famed for its authentic and affordable street food-inspired menu, served up in restaurants designed to mimic the bustling street food markets of Bangkok.
Expect colourful fairy lights, illuminated signs, graffiti art, enamel crockery and even seating booths built into tuk tuks.
Zaap Thai already has locations in cities including Leeds, Sheffield, Nottingham and Durham, but hasn’t made it into the North West before now.
It’s now set to open on Lincoln Square – where you’ll already find Maray – this June.
This new Zaap Thai location is set to be one its biggest venues to date, with 160 covers.
The expansive menu features 80 dishes from across Thailand, from street food small plates to big bowls of noodles and fiery curries.
Their menu highlights include chicken satay, crispy pork belly, stir-fries like Pad Ga Prao, and sweet dishes such as mango sticky rice and pandan custard pancakes.
That’s alongside Thai-inspired cocktails and mocktails, plus Thai lagers like Singha.
Ban Kaewkraikhot, founder and executive chef at Zaap said: “We’re thrilled to be bringing Zaap Thai to Manchester.
Inside Zaap Thai Manchester
The Moo Deng muralInside the new Zaap ThaiInside the new Zaap Thai
“This is a city with a rich and diverse hospitality scene, and we’re delighted to be joining that fantastic community.
“Our mission is to share our authentic flavours of native Thailand with the city – we want to transport guests to sunny South East Asia by providing an amazing and affordable menu where you can try something new each time.
“Our restaurant is inspired by the places we love back home and everyone is welcome. We can’t wait to bring the Zaap experience to Manchester!”
Zaap Thai Manchester will open on Lincoln Square in on Thursday 26 June, with free pad thais or curries to the first 100 people in the queue from midday.
Georgina Pellant -
23rd September 2022 
