In case you didn’t already know, there’s a Manchester Facebook group dedicated to immortalising stupid comments overheard in the Northern Quarter, and it’s completely hilarious.
Whilst we don’t really have that much time for Facebook nowadays, this community group is so funny that it’s worth signing back in for – even if you’ve ditched the platform for good.
Chronicling all of the neighbourhood’s weird, wonderful, banal and basic goings-on, if you’ve ever found yourself wanting a birds-eye view of one of Manchester’s quirkiest neighbourhoods, well, this is it.
From candid pictures and videos of the eccentric characters who line its streets, to amusing observations and surreal conversational snippets, you’ll never see the district in the same light again.
Prepare yourself, though, because it’s about to get a little bit weird.
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From a guy who seemingly wanders the streets whispering and clutching a seagull late at night, to a man who pushes his cat in a pram and an owl that gets about perched on a guy’s shoulder, the Northern Quarter is forever full of surprises.
Here are some of our favourite quotes to date:
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‘Passing the Mini-Mart, and a young couple ask each other whether it is a cocktail bar.’ – Dan
‘Couple coming out of The Millstone: “My gosh that was like stepping into Bolton!”‘ – Jake
‘”Oooh is that the Trafford Centre?” / “No it’s Affleck’s Palace.”‘ – James
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‘”If you drop that pizza I’ll smack you in the face” – 12am outside Black Dog’ – Jessica
‘”I’d be more upset if Dianna was dead” / She is dead…”‘ – Jack-Cameron
“I take a lot of drugs yeah, but I’ve only lost my shoes once” – James
“If it bleeds we can ferment it” – Madeleine
‘On approach to The Millstone – “Let’s get wrecked in here before we head to The Ivy.” – Danny
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‘Guy on the phone near Shudehill: “Mate, what I’m trying to tell you is if you were in the ocean, you’d be king of the ocean.” / A few seconds later: “What I know about the king of the ocean is, the king of the ocean, would come out tonight.” – James
‘”I don’t like Aperol Spritz, it tastes like sadness.” – Thomas Street.’ – Jack
“She didn’t even know what a bottomless brunch was.” – Bella
‘Not overheard but I’ve just walked past a man carrying an owl like a baby.’ – Aims
‘”Man had a cat in a pram though” – Bouncer (photographic evidence of cat in pram available upon request)’ – Jimmy
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“I REALLY hope ‘Hipster’ is finally over mate” / Yeah sick of everyone looking like a vintage New York Docker whose trousers shrank in the wash” / Good news for now – but what will replace it?” / “Probably Pets With Pronouns” / “That’s a fucking mint Album Title right there mate” (Pair that looked like musicians – Idle Hands coffee shop) – Chris
‘Two lads walking into Oldham Street from the Piccadilly Gardens end on a busy night: Lad 1: If this was a foreign city, and you were walking down here right now, what would you be thinking? Lad 2: Shithole Lad 1: Right!’ – Lucian
‘“I slept with someone with a vajazzle once” / “What was her name?” / “John” – Thomas St just now.’ –Alex
“You shag by the canal, say your goodbyes, then you fuck off” – Chloe
‘Was in Crazy pedros and some lad and his mate sat down and one of them went “bon appe seat”‘ – Matt
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‘”Girl “Eurgh, he was just some fresh out of the womb child. 18 years old is too young” / Guy ”aren’t you only 20?” / Girl “yeah” / Guy “it hardly makes you a pedophile then”’ – Alex
‘”I hope someone puts something I say on that overheard in northern quarter group one day, that would be jokes.” Wish granted bro.’ – Jacob
A Manchester barbershop is offering a ‘pay what you can’ service this month
Danny Jones
Amidst the tidal wave of January deals on food and drink in Manchester, a local barbers is championing their own ‘pay what you can’ offer to help people along this month.
Jefe’s Barbershop, located in the heart of Manchester’s Northern Quarter, is one of the best barbers in the city centre, offering a wide variety of cuts and facial hair grooming services – they even offer a subscription service that helps people save money on regular trims.
That being said, they are well aware of those January blues and the mounting obstacles and anxieties that come with weeks of penny-pinching to make it to month’s end, as well as the general toll it can take on people’s mental health.
So this January, Jefe and his team are doing something different – as he puts it, “something special”: the barbershop is allowing customers to simply pay what they feel comfortable handing over and, in the case of those struggling, whatever they can afford.
It’s a simple gesture with a big purpose which helps ensure no one has to miss out on a feel-good moment or the confidence that comes from a fresh trim.
“All we do is laugh and joke about life—that’s why people come here,” Jefe explains. “I don’t want anyone to lose the chance to be present, to feel good, and to laugh with us.
“Men often need more help than they’re willing to let on and we want to be a helping hand they can rely on.” Now that’s a cause all of us can and should get behind.
Community support has remained at the core of Jefe’s Barbershop since the beginning when he swapped a basketball career for providing a much-needed service to Mancunian men.
From partnering with Manc sandwich shops and offering free haircuts for the homeless, to hosting street parties with local events companies and providing £5 trims to promote men’s mental health in 2023 when the cost of living crisis really kicked in – Jefe’s is always trying to make a difference in the area.
You’ve got to love businesses that go the extra mile.
If you want to make the most of this wholesome deal or just feel like you’re in need of a trim, you can book HERE or call them directly on 0161 818 7659.
The ‘pay what you can’ offer runs Monday to Thursday, 9am-7pm, subject to availability. You’ll find Jefe’s Barbershop on Stevenson Square
Because as the man himself puts it, “Everyone deserves to feel their best”.
The Salmon of Knowledge pub is opening a second site in Didsbury
Danny Jones
A recent addition to the Manchester hospitality scene is building on its early success and opening up another Irish bar over in Didsbury.
Northern Quarter’s Salmon of Knowledge, which launched back in September 2024, is one of countless Irish pubs across Greater Manchester but only a handful in the vibrant district.
Having taken over the much-loved old PLY site – which sadly closed its doors last summer – they had a job on their hands to reach the same heights as the legendary late-night pizza and shuffleboard joint, but these first few months have clearly gone well enough to expand.
The increasingly popular watering hole which is one of the few places around here where you can get Murphy’s (at least in the city centre) is much more than just an Irish-themed venue: it delivers regular live music, sports on the box and great food from local brand, The Last Stop – and Didsbury is up next.
Irish favourite The Salmon of Knowledge’s sister bar comes to Didsbury later this year. (Credit: The Manc Eats)
The caption goes on to read: “Big news, Didsbury. You called and we answered. The Salmon of Knowledge is swimming upstream to bring our second site to YOU very soon!
“By popular demand, we are expanding to the suburbs, so get ready for live music, great food, live sports, and gallons of Guinness. You heard it here first… stay tuned!”
As well as a wide variety of beverages beyond the obviously stunning stouts, fans will be glad to hear the Salmon will be bringing The Last Stop’s talents with them.
From the aesthetic, prices and drinks selection to the reliable New York influences on the Heaton Chapel-based vendor’s menu, we’ve been pretty big fans of this place since minute one.
Manchester, pay attention: The Salmon of Knowledge has some wisdom to bestow upon you — mainly how to pour a proper Guinness and have a grand auld time. 🇮🇪☘️
Although they are yet to give any more information as to when we can expect The Salmon of Knowledge Didsbury to open at present, we do have an indication of where it will be popping up.
It has now been confirmed that they will be taking over the former Dockyard pub (which still has locations in Salford Quays and Spinningfields), meaning that it will sit in the heart of the busy Didsbury Village strip, which should prove great for footfall.
Just like the Stevenson Square spot, live music and sports will accompany Didsbury’s new Irish bar as well and if the phrase ‘gallons of Guinness’ doesn’t get you excited, we don’t know what will.