Sport

Fan creates petition to ban Erling Haaland from Association Football because ‘it’s just not fair’

I mean, we're laughing but it genuinely doesn't feel fair at times, does it?

Danny Jones Danny Jones - 6th October 2022

A football fan has simply had enough and has started a petition to ban Erling Haaland from playing Association Football because, and we quote, “it’s just not fair”.

The Change.org petition was filed by none other than user ‘Ten Hag‘s Reds!’. I’m sure he’s approached this without any bias whatsoever.

Despite being created as a joke – one that did make us exhale through the nose, we’ll admit – dozens of people have actually signed it. Well, over 50 to be more precise, but still.

Credit: Change.org

However, the best part is the campaigner’s description which just about sums up everyone that isn’t a Manchester City fan’s feelings towards this absolute freak of nature right now.

The petition reads: “It’s just simply not fair. We can make a change. Now is the time for us people to act. This robot should not be allowed to carry on in our country.”

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As it turns out, there have been multiple such memes flying around social media with several appearing as though there were official petitions filed through the government website.

To the best of our knowledge, this is the only one that someone has actually taken the time to make for real and, even more amusingly, people have taken the time to sign it.

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For anyone that isn’t a blue or Norwegian, though, we get it; it has been genuinely frightening to see how incredible he has been already. He hasn’t just hit the ground running, he’s at an Olympic-level sprint.

The numbers are looking ridiculous.

Oh and in case you hadn’t heard, he scored another two in City’s 5-0 win against Copenhagen in the Champions League on Wednesday night. That’s five goals in three European games alone.

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City play Southampton next in the Premier League on Saturday, a team who have been beaten 9-0 on two different occasions in the past – one of which was against Manchester United.

Imagine what Haaland in this City team could do to them.

On an unrelated note, we best be going, we’ve got some important stuff that needs signing…

For all the latest news, events and goings on in Greater Manchester, subscribe to The Manc newsletter HERE.

Featured Image — Sky Sports (via YouTube)

Sport

Lancashire Cricket are offering free programmes to 1,400 kids across the county and Greater Manchester

Danny Jones Danny Jones Lancashire Cricket Foundation offering free cricket to kids in Greater Manchester

The Lancashire Cricket Foundation is offering free cricket programmes to 1,400 kids across the county and the Greater Manchester region this summer.

Offering coaching and games to children from disadvantaged backgrounds whilst also aiming for greater female participation this year, the Foundation’s bursary programme is being opened up to young ones all across Lancashire and various parts of 0161.

Set to deliver opportunities to a record number of kids in 2024, the scheme is part of the nationwide All Stars and Dynamos initiative – now into its sixth year and set up by the England and Wales Cricket Board – and is open to all kids between the ages of 5-11, with more than 5,600 in Lancashire last year alone.

The aim is pretty simple: keep kids active and playing as much as possible, whilst also helping nurture the world of grassroots cricket.

all stars and dynamos cricket for kids greater manchester
Last year, around 1,200 Lancashire kids and beyond were given free cricket bursaries. (Credit: Supplied)

While the eight-hour long kids courses themselves cost £30 for the younger bracket and £40 for those 8-11, bursary places are being reserved for children living in deprived areas and diverse communities, where participation would otherwise be limited.

The programme has proved massively popular all across the North West and thanks to likes of total of the Red Rose’s Community Foundation works, who have brought the scheme to more than 200 clubs and centres across the nation, more than 20,000 children have taken part since it was introduced.

Now that’s one way to put the future of UK cricket in safe hands.

As for the All Stars and Dynamos, in addition to providing a social outlet and activities to help develop fundamental skills on and off the pitch, organisers always ensure to make things fully inclusive and support a wide range of abilities, disabilities and different learning needs.

In addition to the coaching received, every child who registers also receives their very own t-shirt, personalised with their name and number, as well as a range of other benefits including priority access to LCC tickets​, chances to meet players, discounts on merch and lots of other potential prizes.

The paid version of the scheme is still available to those inelligible for the bursary.

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Jen Barden, Executive Director of the Lancashire Cricket Foundation, said of this year’s efforts: “Through a variety of programmes, the Foundation delivers cricket to more than 110,000 participants in our schools, clubs, and communities, and we have a strong commitment to growing the game of cricket across the county.

“We are particularly proud of the Bursary Scheme that provides young people from disadvantaged backgrounds and under-represented groups with access to cricket. These programmes are vital for introducing the game to more young people, helping them stay active and develop new skills, in a fun, friendly, and inclusive environment.”

Parents can register their children for All Stars and Dynamos Cricket courses and find out whether they qualify for a bursary HERE.

You can also find out more information on taking part and coaching opportunities on the Lancashire Cricket Foundation website.

For all the latest news, events and goings on in Greater Manchester, subscribe to The Manc newsletter HERE.

Featured Images — Lancashire Cricket Foundation

Sport

Everton manager Sean Dyche randomly pops up in the music video for Blossoms’ new single – and he’s great

Danny Jones Danny Jones Everton manager Sean Dyche in new Blossoms music video

Did anyone else think they’d ever see Sean Dyche make his acting debut in the role of a Northern crime boss in a silly little music video for the Blossoms?

No, us neither but that’s the bizarre alternate reality we’re living in, apparently.

Blossoms are currently working on the fifth studio album and have already released their lead single entitled, ‘To Do List (After The Break-Up)’, but now they have a new song out as well, with a rather amusing music video to go along with it and somehow Sean Dyche has found himself the star.

The Stockport band teased the curious collaboration in April, giving us just short glimpses of the Everton manager and former Burnley boss with very little explanation – all we know is that it looked funny and it was.

Sean Dyche stars as the boss in the music video for Blossoms’ latest single, ‘What Can I Say After I’m Sorry?’ As you do.

Dyche is still busy trying to finish the Premier League campaign as strong as possible after successfully navigating the Toffees to safety even in spite of their points deductions this season, but it sounds like keeping them up has given him enough time to moonlight as an actor.

Sending the indie five-piece on a mission to collect something of value (yes, that’s all the info we have at this point as the story is still to be continued), it looks like the Kettering-born coach has a larger role to play in whatever this narrative turns out to be.

Playing what can only be described as some kind of semi-Manc mafia figure on the hunt for a very valuable piece of art, i.e. a big giant gorilla statue – one that many Stopfordians spotted being lugged around various parts of the borough –

They also shared a little bit of BTS footage from the shoot for the music video last week. Some lovely head-bobbing and unassuming surroundings here:

How catchy is that beat alone!?

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As for the track itself, it’s a bit of stylistic change for the lads who’ve mastered their 80s-tinged indie formula over the past decade but it’s an absolute pop and is already stuck in our heads.

Revealing that they’ve collaborated with contemporary funk, disco and electronic icons Jungle on the track, it doesn’t take too long to hear the influences. Look forward to hearing it at Wythenshawe Park this summer.

You can watch the music video for ‘What Can I Say?’ and the ginger-goatee’d football manager extraordinaire in full character HERE.

He’s not the only footballing figure who’s made an entertainment crossover recently either.

For all the latest news, events and goings on in Greater Manchester, subscribe to The Manc newsletter HERE.

Featured Images — Blossoms (via YouTube)/Virgin EMI

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