Sport

Fan creates petition to ban Erling Haaland from Association Football because ‘it’s just not fair’

I mean, we're laughing but it genuinely doesn't feel fair at times, does it?

Danny Jones Danny Jones - 6th October 2022

A football fan has simply had enough and has started a petition to ban Erling Haaland from playing Association Football because, and we quote, “it’s just not fair”.

The Change.org petition was filed by none other than user ‘Ten Hag‘s Reds!’. I’m sure he’s approached this without any bias whatsoever.

Despite being created as a joke – one that did make us exhale through the nose, we’ll admit – dozens of people have actually signed it. Well, over 50 to be more precise, but still.

Credit: Change.org

However, the best part is the campaigner’s description which just about sums up everyone that isn’t a Manchester City fan’s feelings towards this absolute freak of nature right now.

The petition reads: “It’s just simply not fair. We can make a change. Now is the time for us people to act. This robot should not be allowed to carry on in our country.”

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As it turns out, there have been multiple such memes flying around social media with several appearing as though there were official petitions filed through the government website.

To the best of our knowledge, this is the only one that someone has actually taken the time to make for real and, even more amusingly, people have taken the time to sign it.

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For anyone that isn’t a blue or Norwegian, though, we get it; it has been genuinely frightening to see how incredible he has been already. He hasn’t just hit the ground running, he’s at an Olympic-level sprint.

The numbers are looking ridiculous.

Oh and in case you hadn’t heard, he scored another two in City’s 5-0 win against Copenhagen in the Champions League on Wednesday night. That’s five goals in three European games alone.

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City play Southampton next in the Premier League on Saturday, a team who have been beaten 9-0 on two different occasions in the past – one of which was against Manchester United.

Imagine what Haaland in this City team could do to them.

On an unrelated note, we best be going, we’ve got some important stuff that needs signing…

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Featured Image — Sky Sports (via YouTube)

Sport

Pep Guardiola says he won’t manage another club after Manchester City

Danny Jones Danny Jones

Pep Guardiola has claimed he won’t manage another team after his tenure at Manchester City is up, so enjoy the ride whilst you can, Blues.

One of the most successful managers in history, Pep Guardiola is undoubtedly one of the greatest managers to have ever lived but it looks like the 53-year-old is now starting to think about life after football – or at least after Man City.

The Catalan coach was recently speaking on Spanish chef Dani García’s Desmontadito podcast discussing his career and life beyond the beautiful game.

Guardiola recently extended his stay at the Eithad with a new two-year contract but it did look like he was ramping up to leave until the 11th hour and it now seems as though his time at City will be his last in the world of club football.

When asked about his future by his fellow compatriot, Pep said: “I’m going to stop. I am not going to join another team, I’m not going to leave to go to another country. I won’t have the energy. For now, I’m still here but to think about starting again, the whole process of training – no, no.”

Energy has been a defining factor for so many managers of late, with long-time rival Jürgen Klopp having departed Liverpool FC as a result of the fatigue caused by the job.

With countless cups, six Premier League titles and a trio of Champions League trophies to his name, Pep has pretty much won everything there is to win, which will no doubt factor into his eventual decision.

Plus, we’ve already seen the mental toll of competing at the top level can take following some concerning scenes involving the man himself last month.

That being said, Pep did go on to suggest that however long he stays in the sport after his time in Manchester is all said and done, his next role would likely be in international football as leading a country to major silverware is the one thing he hasn’t achieved just yet.

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City have managed to get points back on the board in their last two games, notching a much-needed 3-0 against Nottingham Forest before only managing to scrape a draw against Crystal Palace this past weekend, but with a derby approaching this Sunday, all eyes are on Manchester.

With the title race already looking like a nigh on an insurmountable task given the points they’ve already drooped (even with Liverpool’s recent slip-up), Pep’s stress and energy are already pushed to their limits as it is.

You might only get a couple more years with the tactical genius, City fans, so make the most of it.

You can watch Pep Guardiola’s full interview with Dani García down below – though it is in Spanish so you will need subtitles on:

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Featured Images — football.ua (via Wikimedia Commons)

Sport

Manchester City’s alleged charges have been increased to 130

Danny Jones Danny Jones Manchester City FFP charges go from 115 to 130

Manchester City’s hearing over their 115 alleged breaches of FFP (financial fair play) has ended and the outcome is that their charges have now been increased to 130.

Not exactly what Blues will want to hear.

The hearing officially concluded last Friday, 6 December after a 12-week process to determine whether they broke Premier League regulations regarding PSR (profit and sustainability), with accusations initially spanning a nine-year period.

However, rather than making any progress when it comes to clearing their record, it looks as though the opposite has happened.

Man City are now alleged to have committed 130 breaches of Premier League rules with both parties still able to enter an official appeal.

The hearing was held at the International Dispute Resolution Centre near St Paul’s in London, kicking off in September before coming to a close on Friday, 6 December.

Fans will no doubt have been hoping for and maybe even expecting a much more positive update, especially after having been successful in their recent case against the division regarding sponsorship deals and Associated Party Transactions (APT).

As well as the number of alleged breaches having risen to 130, the period of offence is also now said to have been extended, jumping from just under a decade to a total of 14 years.

The Times writer Martyn Ziegler says the club could quietly learn of their fate as soon as next month and even though a final decision still isn’t expected until spring 2025, should either side appeal the final outcome, this will likely draw out proceedings for several more months.

Man City’s charges have gone from 115 to 130. (Credit: The Manc Group)

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For context, City still deny all of the claims laid against them, which include failing to provide accurate financial information for as many as nine seasons, full details of players’ wages, hiding the true figure former manager Roberto Mancini was paid for her service, as well as failing to cooperate with the Premier League’s investigation and UEFA’s FFP rules.

The club were slapped with a two-year European ban back in 2020 and have been fined by the European footballing body previously, but that ban was ultimately dropped and even their most recent financial punishment was dropped from £30 million to just £10m – chump change given their spending power.

It still remains unclear what exactly will happen to the reigning English champions if they are found guilty but with Pep Guardiola’s also struggling for form of late, having lost five games in a row for the first time in the Catalan’s career, those inside the Etihad could do with some good news.

The blue moon that has loomed over Manchester in recent years is looking a little lost behind the clouds at the minute.

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Featured Images — The Manc Group

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