A football fan has simply had enough and has started a petition to ban Erling Haaland from playing Association Football because, and we quote, “it’s just not fair”.
The Change.org petition was filed by none other than user ‘Ten Hag‘s Reds!’. I’m sure he’s approached this without any bias whatsoever.
Despite being created as a joke – one that did make us exhale through the nose, we’ll admit – dozens of people have actually signed it. Well, over 50 to be more precise, but still.
Credit: Change.org
However, the best part is the campaigner’s description which just about sums up everyone that isn’t a Manchester City fan’s feelings towards this absolute freak of nature right now.
The petition reads: “It’s just simply not fair. We can make a change. Now is the time for us people to act. This robot should not be allowed to carry on in our country.”
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As it turns out, there have been multiple such memes flying around social media with several appearing as though there were official petitions filed through the government website.
To the best of our knowledge, this is the only one that someone has actually taken the time to make for real and, even more amusingly, people have taken the time to sign it.
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For anyone that isn’t a blue or Norwegian, though, we get it; it has been genuinely frightening to see how incredible he has been already. He hasn’t just hit the ground running, he’s at an Olympic-level sprint.
Oh and in case you hadn’t heard, he scored another two in City’s 5-0 win against Copenhagen in the Champions League on Wednesday night. That’s five goals in three European games alone.
City play Southampton next in the Premier League on Saturday, a team who have been beaten 9-0 on two different occasions in the past – one of which was against Manchester United.
Imagine what Haaland in this City team could do to them.
On an unrelated note, we best be going, we’ve got some important stuff that needs signing…
Wigan Athletic’s James McClean reveals autism diagnosis in heartfelt Instagram message
Danny Jones
Wigan Athletic and Ireland star James McClean has revealed his recent autism diagnosis in solidarity with the ASD community and to help support the international week of awareness.
The Latics, long-serving Irish international and former Premier League winger informed his followers of the personal news in a heartwarming social media post with his young daughter who is also autistic.
In contrast to his four-year-old girl, Willow-Ivy — whose autism was recognised early on — McClean has only just learned of his own diagnosis, having “decided to go and get an ASD [autism spectrum disorder] assessment” after spotting “so many small traits in her” that he sees in himself.
Taking to Instagram, the 33-year-old said he felt there was no better time to make this announcement than during Autism Awareness and Acceptance Week (27 March-2 April) and stand in solidarity with his daughter and others who are on the spectrum.
As he details in the caption: “The last 4 years have been life-changing in the most amazing way but also very difficult at times as her daddy watching her overcome so many obstacles in her life and learning how to manage the challenges she faces on a daily basis.
“The more Erin [partner] and I learned about autism the more we began to recognise I was very similar to Willow in more ways than we thought… It’s been a bit of a journey and now having a diagnosis I feel it’s time to share it.”
He goes on to admit that he “debated for a while going public” but that he’s now “done this for Willow-Ivy, to let her know that [he] understand[s] and that being autistic won’t and should never hold her back from reaching her goals and dreams.” Such a lovely and inspiring message.
No one should ever feel like they need to hide what makes them the person that they are a secret. We applaud you for speaking out, James, and wish you and your little girl all the best.
Rodri slams ‘rubbish’ Scotland despite historic 2-0 defeat as Scott McTominay scores yet again
Danny Jones
Manchester City star Rodri has called out Scotland for their “rubbish” tactics and style of play following their now famous 2-0 win over Spain.
Scotland hosted Spain at Hampden Park stadium on Tuesday night in the first round of Euro 2024 qualifiers and after having beaten Cyprus 3-0 on 25 March, the Tartan army managed an even more significant victory over the three-time champions, beating them for the first time since 1984.
Speaking to media after the game and obviously disappointed with the result, the Man City midfielder said that he didn’t feel the scoreline fully reflected the game and had a very clear opinion on what he thought of the home side’s performance.
In a word: “rubbish”.
🇪🇸 Spain's Rodri gives his verdict on his side's loss to Scotland
"It's the way they play…for me it's a bit rubbish. Because it's always wasting time. They provoke you. They always fall. For me, this is not football." 🗣️👀#EURO2024 | #SCOESPpic.twitter.com/MIgxOOA2Cl
Rodri went on to argue that, in his mind, “this is not football”, claiming that the opposition were “always wasting time” and trying to “provoke” the Spanish players by going to ground after most tackles.
The 26-year-old was also critical of the officials, intimating that the referee had the opportunity to intervene but simply “said nothing”.
On the contrary, the Scottish reporter interviewing challenged the Spaniard by suggesting that many fans within the ground would argue that Spain were guilty of the same “in terms of how quickly the players went down”. Rodri naturally disagreed.
Either way, it wasn’t time-wasting that made the headlines on the night, it was Manchester United midfielder Scott McTominay, who bagged yet another brace to send the national stadium into pandemonium with his third and fourth goals for Scotland in the last two games.
The 26-year-old opened the scoring inside just seven minutes and grabbed his second similarly early into the second half with an instinctive volley.
Along with his double against Cyprus at the weekend, that makes four goals in the last two games, with many Reds noting his heroics have come a key time with the likes of Casemiro suspended and Austrian international Marcel Sabitzer potentially injured again.
McTominay might have dropped out of United’s first-choice midfield when everyone is fit but has still proven himself to be a solid squad player.
Moreover, perhaps this international break has helped him send a message to Erik ten Hag ahead of a key period for the club.
Danny Jones -
6th October 2022 
