In case you hadn’t noticed, Erling Haaland has virtually secured this year’s golden boot in just six matches wearing sky blue and barring an unexpected injury, he shows no signs of slowing down.
The 22-year-old Norwegian has already bagged 10 goals and an assist in the league and a baker’s dozen in all competitions for Manchester City this season.
And we’re only in September.
Every type of goal – and plenty of them
So far, his highlights include scoring a game-winning brace against West Ham, as well as back-to-back hattricks against Palace and Forest. The latter was both a traditional perfect hattrick (left foot, right, header) and a ‘German perfect hattrick’ – all three goals scored uninterrupted by any other player.
Oh, and he also scored each of them in consecutive halves across the two games if there’s a word for that – he essentially managed the most perfect pair of trios you’ll probably see for some time.
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Even when doesn’t manage multiple goals, he produces moments of match-winning brilliance like this:
He’s going to score a lot of those finishes by the way.
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Most others would find it hard to even reach that ball and even if they could, very few are clinical, composed and creative enough to convert it into a goal.
The stats speak for themselves
With that in mind, if he’s already this prolific so early on in the season and he’s able to add even more improvised goals like this to his tally when most others wouldn’t even attempt, it’s fair to say that he’s going to pull even further ahead of his goalscoring rivals than he already is quite quickly.
To put things into perspective, even with an xG (expected goals) rating of 1.19 goals per every 90 -minutes of football, he is already exceeding his own stats, averaging an xG of 1.86 per 90 according to FotMob.
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Put even simpler, this means he’s scoring a goal around 48.5 minutes – that’s just in the Premier League alone.
If you extrapolate his numbers to take into account the three Champions League goals he’s already scored and presuming City make it to the final of the FA and Carabao Cup this year – and it looks very well they might – then the projected figures are verging on scary.
How many could Haaland theoretically score?
Were he to continue at this rate for as many games possible, he could theoretically end the season on a grand total of 102 goals – with 63 of those goals coming in the Premier League. That’s based on his average 80 or so minutes per game he’s currently on the pitch for – and it’s even more if he played the full 90 for the remaining 32 games.
Erling Haaland has virtually secured this year’s golden boot in just six matches / Credit: Man City (via Twitter)
Now, chances are he is going to a few games without a goal at some point (well, you’d hope so, for everyone else’s sake), but when you consider the sheer raft of talent and regular service from the rest of the City squad, it’s entirely possible he could break all kinds of records.
Essentially, whatever number he ends up finishing on is going to come down to whether Pep decides to rest him or whether or not he stays injury free, as he has been known to suffer a knock or two.
If left entirely up to him, we can only imagine what magic he produces.
Either way, whether you’re a City fan or not, it’s going to be genuinely riveting to see just how many goals he’ll score this season.
‘We couldn’t see f**k all’ – Bizarre Altrincham FC FA Cup clash played in thick fog leaves fans baffled
Daisy Jackson
Altrincham FC’s FA Cup clash with Notts County descended into extraordinary scenes on Saturday night as thick fog engulfed the stadium, leaving supporters struggling to see the players and even broadcasters questioning what was happening.
The bizarre first-round encounter at the J Davidson Stadium saw visibility deteriorate so badly that fans resorted to holding their mobile phone torches aloft in an attempt to follow the action.
What should have been a memorable FA Cup occasion turned into something resembling a scene from a horror film, with the players increasingly disappearing into the mist.
Altrincham Today captured the surreal atmosphere, posting: “Extraordinary scenes here at the J Davidson Stadium. Visibility down to a few yards. No-one has any idea what is going on. Supporters holding mobile torches aloft, like it’s an Elton John concert. It is still 2-2, we think.”
Even television coverage struggled to make sense of the conditions.
Broadcaster Jason Mohammad joked: “Bear with us at the end of the game. We’ve not seen much of extra time where we are. We don’t have the foggiest what’s going on down the away end. Fair play – cracking game and atmosphere!”
One social media user summed up the extraordinary conditions simply, writing: “Altrincham v Notts County is currently being played in a cloud.”
Others were equally bewildered, with one supporter asking: “Spot the ball anyone? #FACup @altrinchamfc on the verge of another league scalp – although who knows what’s going on?!”
Another fan was less than impressed, posting: “Shame we couldn’t see f**k all for most of it”.
Even the stadium’s advertising boards were struggling to make an impression. James Timpson joked: “It was hard to see the investment we have made in to our pitch side advertising boards last night at Altrincham V Notts County!”
It was hard to see the investment we have made in to our pitch side advertising boards last night at Altrincham V Notts County! https://t.co/trW9imo7Xu
The unusual conditions also prompted questions over whether the match should have continued.
One Notts County supporter reflected after the game: “Unlucky guys you gave us a great game and the conditions didn’t help still say it should have been abandoned even though we scraped through!!!! Good luck for the rest of the season lads”.
And it was certainly a dramatic contest before the fog took centre stage.
Notts County initially took the lead through Jacob Bedeau in the 28th minute, but Altrincham responded through Lucas Weaver just before half-time.
Lewis Banks then put the hosts ahead in the 59th minute, raising hopes of another famous FA Cup upset against higher-league opposition.
@altrinchamfc If you say so https://t.co/6ub5YiIogD
However, Callum Roberts equalised for County in the 84th minute, sending the tie into extra time.
With neither side able to find a winner, the match went to penalties, where Notts County eventually prevailed 3-2 to book their place in the second round.
While the result was heartbreaking for Altrincham, the extraordinary conditions ensured the match would be remembered for more than just the football.
For supporters at the J Davidson Stadium, it was certainly one FA Cup tie where seeing wasn’t necessarily believing.
Exciting new CGIs released of £500m Therme Manchester wellness resort as construction continues
Emily Sergeant
As construction continues on Manchester’s massive wellness resort, some new CGIs have now been released.
In case you need bringing up to speed, construction of the £500 million Therme Manchester wellness resort officially began last September after several years of planning, and now developers have released some exciting new CGIs – with an update on how construction is going, as a new milestone has been reached this week.
Set to open to the public in 2029, Therme Manchester will become one of the largest urban wellbeing resorts in the world.
Visitors can expect to make the most of a 10 pools – both lagoon and wave pools included – thermal bathing, multi-sensory sauna rituals, steam rooms, 18 water slides, affordably-priced luxury spa therapies, and health and fitness experiences.
Exciting new CGIs released of Therme Manchester have been released / Credit: Supplied
At the heart of Therme Manchester will be three distinct zones, each offering a different way to spend time at the resort.
Play will bring together water-based fun and attractions for families and visitors of all ages, and Restore will focus on thermal bathing and restorative experiences designed to help visitors unwind, while Relax will offer spaces for relaxation and wellbeing.
The latest CGIs showcase the design as it develops – including the resort’s extensive indoor and outdoor spaces, and its 53,000sq ft wellbeing garden.
Construction is still underway on the £500m wellness resort / Credit: Supplied
The plans also feature a new public plaza designed to strengthen connections between the resort and the Bridgewater Canal.
Professor David Russell, CEO of Therme UK, said: “We have taken the opportunity to refine the design, improve how traffic and parking are managed and create a more welcoming environment for everyone arriving at the resort.
“We are creating an even better experience for visitors while supporting more efficient and sustainable operations.”
Danny Jones -
16th September 2022 
