It may be Friday, and it may have been a long week, but in what is a headline we did not expect to be writing this morning, Northern has now started installing sculptures of fake birds at some of its train stations in a bid to ward off pesky pigeons from what it’s dubbed “problematic poo hotspots”.
The rail operator says it wants to “force pigeons to take flight” by trialing a whole host of new deterrents at stations across its network.
To do this, it has decided to position plastic owls around some stations to scare pigeons away, and has also started using a special gel on ledges and roof trusses that’s designed to trick pigeons into thinking the surface is too hot for them to land on.
Not only that, but just to really hammer it home and shoo them off, it’ll also be broadcasting noises that simulate predatory hawks out of massive speakers too.
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Northern installs fake birds at train stations to scare pigeons away from ‘problematic poo hotspots’ / Credit: Northern
Once again, we’re genuinely not making this up.
So, why exactly has Northern decided to do this then? And are pigeons even that much of an issue in the grand scheme of things? Well, according to the company, it has made the decision to trial the obscure new deterrent measures after experiencing particular problems at Driffield (East Yorkshire) and Morpeth (Northumberland) stations – which are the two stations, in particular, that have become the so-called “problematic poo hotspots”.
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This is why, at Driffield station, hawk sounds will now play every 30 minutes between 10am and 4pm every day, as research has apparently shown that this has been effective in removing pigeons from private residences in the past.
Then, over in Morpeth, plastic owls have been placed on the station’s roof to scare pigeons away.
The rail operator says it wants to “force pigeons to take flight” / Credit: Northern
“We want to make sure our stations are a ‘no-go’ area for pigeons and make them fly the coop in a way that is humane and harmless,” said Northern’s Regional Director, Kerry Peters, as she explained why the company’s taken the new measures.
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“We clean all our station regularly, and we take the impact the mess has on our communities and the environment very seriously.”
The unique new trials at Driffield and Morpeth stations will remain in place until the end of November, and if they’re deemed successful, Northern says they could be rolled out across the whole network in the near future.
Sir David Jason set for TV return in Only Fools and Horses documentary Christmas special
Danny Jones
In a surprise bit of festive news, the only and only Sir David Jason is returning for an Only Fools and Horses Christmas special this December. Lovely jubbly!
The best-loved and most-watched British comedy of all time will be back on our screens in documentary form this festive season, with Del Boy himself David Jason revisiting the iconic comedy character after 20 years he last played him on screen.
While the legendary sitcom was broadcast on BBC back in the day, the highly-anticipated Only Fools doc will be airing on Channel 5 right before Christmas as a special one-off programme.
Looking back on the show’s incredible run on UK screens over seven series and the several ‘Christmas Cracker’ specials, specifically, the latest Only Fools and Horses documentary will see Jason and a number of other guests appearing to chat about the legendary show.
The release date of the Only Fools special Christmas documentary is yet to be announced.
While it’s still unclear how many of the original cast will be appearing, Jason’s on-screen wife Tessa Peake-Jones (Raquel) is confirmed to be appearing along with other special guests including newscaster Krishnan Guru-Murthy and Bendiorm‘s Sherrie Hewson.
Sadly, a full theatrical reunion just isn’t on the cards following the deaths of Roger Lloyd Pack (Trigger), Kenneth MacDonald (Mike the Landlord) and Buster Merryfield (Uncle Albert) in the 30 years since the show ended its run.
Only Fools writer John Sullivan also sadly passed away aged 64 in 2011 and fellow co-star Nicholas Lyndhurst, a.k.a. Rodney Trotter, told Metro: “We can’t. John is no longer with us. John was the driving force of the show and we have also lost quite a few cast members now.
“I don’t think I could do it without them and I certainly couldn’t do it without John. At the risk of depressing everyone, I think the last two times I’ve seen David has been at funerals.”
Simply entitled, ‘The Story Of Only Fools And Horses At Christmas’, the 90-minute special is yet to have its broadcast date fully confirmed but you best keep your eyes peeled on the TV guide — we’ll let you know as soon we do.
Jason, 81, has only just recovered from hip surgery earlier this year, so it’ll be nice to see his familiar grin back on our screens.
Right, we’re off to binge a whole series on UK Gold.
Scott McTominay jokes he’s ‘fuming’ he didn’t score a hat-trick against Chelsea as he reflects on Man United’s mentality
Danny Jones
Scott McTominay has joked he’s “fuming” with himself after failing to score a hat-trick in Manchester United’s 2-1 win over Chelsea on Wednesday nightand shed some light on the mentality around Old Trafford.
McTominay starred in the Red Devils’ win over Mauricio Pochettino’s side on a cold night at home, managing to bag a brace with a goal in the first and second half to get his squad over the line, but he himself said he could have had more.
Speaking to MUTV after the game, the 26-year-old said he and the squad knew they needed to drum up a reaction after the Newcastle disappointment, adding that contributing more goals is something he wants to keep working on and insisting that plenty of people back him to do so.
Confessing that his mum, dad and grandad have all been encouraging him to “get in the box” and that he just needs to “believe in [him]self and go for it”, the Scotsman did go on to quip he was “fuming” to not grab a third as he shook his head went on to shake and reveal a wry smile.
Scott McTominay was the match-winner against Chelsea.
Commentator and presenter Stewart Gardner went on to list McTominay’s impressive stats this season, having now scored 14 goals in his last 33 appearances for club and country. A seriously good rate from a midfielder typically entrusted to help link play and break things up in the middle of the park.
Now boasting half a dozen goals and an assist across all competitions so far this campaign, he sits as the club’s leading goalscorer in the Premier League with five finishes to his name — with only Bruno Fernandes having contributed more (five goals and five assists) — he’s genuinely become one of Man United’s main goal threats.
While he recently rubbished talk that he played as a striker regularly coming up through the youth academy, simply having been deployed for the odd game in reality, he has always had a shot on him and it isn’t the first time he’s bagged a winner or a big goal for the Reds. This wasn’t a bad one either:
Chatting with the pundits on Amazon Prime Sport, he reiterated that he could have had “one or two more” on another night and agreed that the performance against Newcastle in the previous fixture was “pretty abysmal”, holding his hands up to admit that it was “no way near good enough”.
Reflecting on the later chance he had to seal the hat-trick towards the end of the game, he said he simply needed to “calm down on the last one”.
As for the mentality to get the result during a difficult period where the club remained under a lot of scrutiny from pundits and fans alike, McTominay went on to say that the manager is responsible for the way they played and some “lighter training sessions to keep energy levels up” definitely helped.
Regardless, he was sure to not get ahead of himself and assured ten Hag‘s team were still taking things a game at a time. You can watch the full highlights from Manchester United vs Chelsea down below:
Emily Sergeant -
13th October 2023 
