We may only be a day into August, but some UK supermarkets have already started unveiling their festive food ranges for 2023.
And no, we’re not kidding.
Although we didn’t want to bring up the ‘C’ word nearly five months before the festive season is actually upon us, a handful of UK supermarkets have left us with no choice, because despite the fact August has literally just arrived, and the school summer holidays have only just started, Tesco, Asda, and more have already started releasing details about their Christmas food and drink ranges.
Considering July was a classic Greater Manchester wash-out, though, and the weather forecast for the foreseeable future looks to be much of the same, maybe there’s no harm getting in getting into the festive spirit a little earlier this year?
We’re going to bet at least a few people answered yes to that, and thankfully, there’s some real mouthwatering treats on the menu to make these early releases worthwhile.
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A sneak peak at what’s on offer at Tesco this Christmas / Credit: Tesco
Over at Tesco, you won’t just find the traditional turkey and Christmas pudding on the lineup this year, as instead, there’s inventive alternatives like a Slow Cooked Sloe Gin Duck, Pigs in Blankets Topped Steak Pie, pear-shaped Pork Liver Pâté, Monkfish & Chorizo Wellington, Prawn Snowballs, and even a whole range of festive-themed Bao buns.
For those with a sweet tooth, Tesco is serving up a Winter Orange Cheesecake and Mulled Berry Meringue Wreath, both from the ‘Finest’ range.
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There’s also a giant Christmas tree-shaped chocolate brownie to tuck into too.
Tesco is one of a handful of UK supermarkets to have already unveiled its 2023 food offering / Credit: Tesco
Can Asda rival that? Aside from the classics, the supermarket retailer is also teasing shoppers with a wide range of new festive delicacies this year.
These include Porchetta, a Speciality Cheeseboard, and a Charcuterie Ultimate Grazing Platter, all from the ‘Extra Special’ range, and a whopping 57 new vegan and 35 new Free From products too.
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When it comes to desserts and sweet treats, shoppers are spoiled for choice once again, with some of the stand-outs being a Chocolate & Honeycomb Avalanche Dessert, the Brown Butter & Spiced Dark Rum Mince Pies, and a trio of black forest-themed treats.
Some of the treats Asda is offering up this Christmas / Credit: Asda
There’s a Black Forest Yule Log, the Black Forest Stollen Bites, and the undeniably showstopping Black Forest Woodland Cake.
Although the retailer doesn’t have much of a presence in Greater Manchester, Waitrose has also unveiled its 2023 festive food range, and it’s expected that we won’t have long to wait now until the majority of other major supermarket chains also get into the Christmas spirit.
Everton manager Sean Dyche randomly pops up in the music video for Blossoms’ new single – and he’s great
Danny Jones
Did anyone else think they’d ever see Sean Dyche make his acting debut in the role of a Northern crime boss in a silly little music video for the Blossoms?
No, us neither but that’s the bizarre alternate reality we’re living in, apparently.
Blossoms are currently working on the fifth studio album and have already released their lead single entitled, ‘To Do List (After The Break-Up)’, but now they have a new song out as well, with a rather amusing music video to go along with it and somehow Sean Dyche has found himself the star.
The Stockport band teased the curious collaboration in April, giving us just short glimpses of the Everton manager and former Burnley boss with very little explanation – all we know is that it looked funny and it was.
Sean Dyche sends the five of us on a mission in our new single What Can I Say (After I’m Sorry) out Wednesday 1st May ⏰ pic.twitter.com/WcDdfgAD1m
Sean Dyche stars as the boss in the music video for Blossoms’ latest single, ‘What Can I Say After I’m Sorry?’ As you do.
Dyche is still busy trying to finish the Premier League campaign as strong as possible after successfully navigating the Toffees to safety even in spite of their points deductions this season, but it sounds like keeping them up has given him enough time to moonlight as an actor.
Sending the indie five-piece on a mission to collect something of value (yes, that’s all the info we have at this point as the story is still to be continued), it looks like the Kettering-born coach has a larger role to play in whatever this narrative turns out to be.
Playing what can only be described as some kind of semi-Manc mafia figure on the hunt for a very valuable piece of art, i.e. a big giant gorilla statue – one that many Stopfordians spotted being lugged around various parts of the borough –
They also shared a little bit of BTS footage from the shoot for the music video last week. Some lovely head-bobbing and unassuming surroundings here:
As for the track itself, it’s a bit of stylistic change for the lads who’ve mastered their 80s-tinged indie formula over the past decade but it’s an absolute pop and is already stuck in our heads.
Revealing that they’ve collaborated with contemporary funk, disco and electronic icons Jungle on the track, it doesn’t take too long to hear the influences. Look forward to hearing it at Wythenshawe Park this summer.
You can watch the music video for ‘What Can I Say?’ and the ginger-goatee’d football manager extraordinaire in full character HERE.
He’s not the only footballing figure who’s made an entertainment crossover recently either.
So, Erling Haaland is now a character in Clash of Clans… 👀
Bit random, we know, but it's a funny little trailer. 😅
Featured Images — Blossoms (via YouTube)/Virgin EMI
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KFC have launched their own perfume – oh, and a new burger
Danny Jones
Fast food giants KFC have launched their very own perfume in one of the weirdest marketing stunts we’ve seen in a long while.
That being said, we definitely want a bottle.
KFC‘s fried chicken-themed fragrance launches next month and is fashionably named ‘No 11 Eau de BBQ’, a nod to their newest menu item, the Ultimate BBQ Burger, which we also want in our possession as soon as humanly possible.
The franchise’s new signature scent launches in just a week’s time and, yes, you can genuinely buy it along with the new burger for a limited time only.
Again, this is a real thing you can pay actual money for. (Credit: KFC UKI)
The UK-only release actually sold out when it came to pre-orders but Brits will be able to get their hands on another batch when the second lot drops on 7 May.
Promising a charcoal and smoky wood-scented aroma that immediately transports you to your mate’s back garden as he turns cheap burger patties into overly blackened dry pucks of meat that you definitely would’ve cooked better if you were in charge, the stunt is also helping raise money for non-profits.
Available in 100ml bottles and for just £11, 100% of the proceeds of every sale will go towards the KFC Foundation, which supports grassroots organisations empowering young people to unleash their potential and build a positive future in local communities across the country.
As for the burger that inspired it, the special edition menu item is a nod to BBQ season gradually approaching and they’ve even made a nod to our famously reliable British weather and its attempts to derail the art of outdoor grilling in a new advert.
KFC perfume and a new burger? Christmas has come well early this year.
The Ultimate BBQ Burger has already launched and will be on the menu until 9 June, priced at £6.49 or £9.99 for a box meal which comes with the burger, a regular mini fillet, regular fries, BBQ sauce and a drink.
And don’t worry, it’ll be available on delivery too — we know we’ve had problems with that when it comes to specials in the past.
As KFC’s No 11 Eau de BBQ perfume, you can wait in the online queue like everyone else HERE and let’s just say you’ll be fighting us and plenty of other Mancs for every last drop.
Emily Sergeant -
1st August 2023 
