The words ‘Handforth Parish Council’ should probably mean something to you by now.
Less than 24 hours ago, those three words may have only been on the radar for Mancunians purely due to the fact that it’s just a stone’s throw away to the south of us, being just over the Cheshire border into Wilmslow, but now, it means something completely different.
And if it doesn’t mean something different to you yet, it really should.
Let us catch you up to speed.
It’s hard to know where to begin with it all, but to cut a long story short, clips from a Handforth Parish Council Zoom meeting have been going viral on Twitter today, and while this may sound like a bizarre thing to have captured the attentions of the nation, considering council meetings are known to be like watching paint dry at the best of times, there’s a very good reason for it.
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And that reason is because this meeting descended into what can only been described as absolute chaos, with raised voices, hysterical laughter, endless complaints, passive aggressive behaviour, and swearing councillors trading insults left, right and centre.
People on the internet have been describing the whole thing as “British comedy gold” and “the best British comedy in decades”, and honestly, they’re not wrong.
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i’ve never missed in person meetings more than i did watching this parish council meeting descend into chaos pic.twitter.com/I75zi1fIK5
With the tension between members having been continuing to build, the meeting eventually culminated with the Handforth Parish Council Clerk himself – or at least, that’s what his screen name said, but his identity is a little sketchy – being booted off the call entirely by the name on everyone’s lips right now – none other than, Jackie Weaver.
“You have no authority here, Jackie Weaver”.
Those were the Clerk’s famous last words before Jackie Weaver exercised the authority she actually did have, and removed him from the meeting.
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And it all went rapidly downhill from there.
But if Jackie hadn’t kick-started the ensuing madness with her undeniably savage actions, then Handforth Parish Council and Jackie Weaver wouldn’t have gone on to become trending topics on Twitter, and our Friday would be a lot duller, so it’s not hard to see why the internet has taken a particular liking to her.
Not only has Jackie now reached legend status, being the meme of the moment and prompting responses from a whole slew of famous names, she’s also bagged herself her own parody Twitter account too.
Now, you might have thought that those few viral short clips were all this meeting had to offer to the world, but we couldn’t be happier to say it actually only touches the surface.
The extended version / meeting highlight reel is even better.
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Sure, the ejection of ‘Handforth PC Clerk’ has deservedly grabbed all the headlines, but the full video is 18 minutes of absolute insanity that some comedy writers couldn’t have written better even if they’d spent years brainstorming it.
There’s so many moments to unpack, but we really don’t want to spoil the viewing experience for you.
At one point though, as ridiculous as it sounds, Jackie Weaver even declares that the rest of the meeting members must only refer to her as Britney Spears from now on, and if that doesn’t make you want to watch it, we really don’t know what will.
The comments section is filled will people saying things like: “John Smith is the most John Smith looking person ever. Perfect casting.”, and “the sexual chemistry between Alan’s iPad and Sue is palpable”, as well as “I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes on Zoopla trying to find somewhere, anywhere, in Handforth to move my entire family. This is the greatest thing I’ve seen”.
The best way we can try and sum it all up is, and this could very well be the understatement of the century at this point, but as Jackie so eloquently puts it – “It’s nothing if not lively in Handforth”.
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Pep Guardiola delivers gutting news as Man City are hit with Erling Haaland injury blow
Danny Jones
Pep Guardiola has passed on some gutting fitness news for Manchester City fans as star striker Erling Haaland is confirmed to be injured for several weeks and could even miss the rest of the Premier League season.
The title might be out of reach this year, and the Champions League knockout against Real Madrid was definitely hard for Blues to take, but with Man City into the semi-finals of the FA Cup, there’s still a very strong chance they could end 2024/25 with a piece of silverware.
However, they’ll have to make it through another two massive rounds at Wembley and seemingly the remainder of the season without Haaland and his goals, as the Catalan coach revealed that the club expects him to be out injured for “six to seven weeks.”
Not exactly how City fans would have wanted to see the rest of an already frustrating season play out.
🗣️ "We don't have another player with his skills."
Relaying diagnosis from the medical team, Pep said the hope is that the big Norwegian number nine could be back for the very tail end of the campaign, but at the very least, he “will be ready for the [FIFA Club] World Cup.”
He went on to add that “these kinds of things happen” and that he feels “sorry” for all of the other injuries that have befell his squad up till now, adding that they can only hope for a speedy recovery and for him to return as soon as possible.
The 24-year-old hasn’t had too many big injury problems in his career thus far, although his longest spell on the sidelines did come at the end of 2023 when a stress fracture kept him out until the new year.
This time around, Haaland suffered an injury to his ankle during the City’s FA Cup win over Bournemouth on Sunday following a challenge from defensive midfielder Lewis Cook.
He was forced in the second half and was seen leaving the Vitality Stadium on crutches after the game.
Erling Haaland seen leaving Bournemouth in a protective boot and crutches. 🤕
Having led the golden boot race for a good chunk of the season – as he’s become accustomed too since he arrived in England – City‘s sub-optimal season has seen him slink into second behind high-flying Mo Salah on 27, but he still has a couple dozen goals and a trio of assists to show for it.
Speaking of Salah, the soon-to-leave ‘Egyptian King’ has been the talisman for Liverpool this season, and his contributions could see them lift the trophy in Arne Slot’s first season as early as 13 April, depending on how fellow title rivals Arsenal fare in their next two matches.
As for how City round out their domestic campaign, reclaiming the FA Cup after last year’s derby disappointment looks like the main goal.
You can watch Pep Guardiola’s press conference ahead of the game against Leicester City at 19:45pm tomorrow (Wednesday, 2 April) in full HERE.
Hilarious study names Manchester as one of the UK’s most hungover cities
Emily Sergeant
Manchester has been named one of the UK’s most hungover cities, according to a hilarious new study.
Let’s be honest, we’ve all had one of those mornings – or a lot more than one, for many of us.
The kind where you wake up regretting ordering that last pint, or your decision to mix your drinks, questioning every life choice while desperately Googling ‘hangover cures that actually work’… but it turns out that some UK cities are way more prone to struggling with hangovers than others, and Manchester is one of them.
In a bid to uncover where in the country people are searching for hangover cures the most, alcohol-free beer brand Mash Gang has crunched the numbers and analysed more than 5.5 million Google searches across every city.
Manchester has been named one of the UK’s most hungover cities / Credit: Kraken Images (via Unsplash)
We always knew Manchester would be close to the top, but in this instance, we’ve actually just missed out on the number one spot, as our city has officially been ranked the second most hungover in the UK, just behind the ‘undisputed hungover capital’ itself, which is Birmingham.
According to the study, whether it’s the legendary Northern Quater or the city’s famous Gay Village, us Mancs are waking up with sore heads a lot more than anywhere else in the North.
While the North can often be underrepresented in top 10 lists, this doesn’t seem to be the case here, as other major cities such as Liverpool, Leeds, and Sheffield have all earned their place.
UK’s top 10 most hungover cities
Birmingham
Manchester
Liverpool
Bristol
Leeds
Newcastle
Sheffield
Plymouth
Coventry
Wolverhampton
It’s all according to a new survey finding the city with the most sore heads in the country / Credit: Mylo Kaye (via Unsplash)
On the other end of the scale, Ripon has emerged as the UK’s least hungover city, closely followed by Carlisle, which means that if you’re looking for a place to escape temptation, or to just find people who actually get up early on weekends, then you know where to head to.
As well as the top 10 list, Mash Gang’s analysis data also showed just how much people are looking for hangover solutions, as in just the past month alone, there have been 178,000 searches for “hair of the dog,” and the search term “hangover food” has been looked up 72,000 times in the same period.
On top of this, searches for ‘zebra striping’ – which is a method where people alternate alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks to lessen the impact of drinking – have also increased by 424% in the past quarter.
Emily Sergeant -
5th February 2021 
