Gummy bears can be a top-tier sweet treat for all ages, but the bad reviews of these bulk packs on Amazon are enough to put anyone off.
The 1lb pack of Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears have some reviews that are so bad, they really do have to be seen to be believed and we’re honestly not exaggerating either.
They’re awful, but in the best way possible.
There’s so many hilariously bad reviews that are worth including here, but we’ve picked arguably the best (or should we say worst) one to share.
One very unsatisfied customer review reads: “I sit here writing this review at 4am from my porcelain throne, a fixture you will become all too familiar with if you chose to eat these cute little bears from the pits of hell.”
ADVERTISEMENT
“I had to eat a pound of these little b****rds after Man City must’ve thought they were playing American football the other week, and lost to a team of Arsenal scrubs. They were a bit chewy but overall, appeared to be nothing more than your average gummy bears. After about 2 hours with little more than some mild stomach cramps, feeling like one would expect from eating a pound of any candy, I began to wonder if I’d gotten some duds.”
“Like the slow build-up of a Martin Scorsese film however, those bears were waiting for their baptism scene to destroy my insides.”
ADVERTISEMENT
“It started with the cramping, very akin to doing 1,000 crunches and then being forced to hold the 1,001st crunch indefinitely. Then came the initial “run” which opened the proverbial flood gates. I’m over 30 and I’m beginning to wonder if these bears know that and want to send me back to the can for each year I’ve been on this earth to make me wonder why I’d ever been born.”
Flickr
It continues: “In between gastrointestinal bouts of pressure washing the inside of my toilet from my anus, I lay in bed feeling as if someone were to punch me in the stomach, I’d explode, turning the walls of my bedroom into a soiled Jackson Pollock rendition. To give you an idea, I’d spent $50 ordering a UFC pay-per-view only to willingly miss the last 2-3 fights on the main card because I didn’t want to stray too far from my master bathroom. Thankfully for me (and my marriage), fearing what might be coming, I convinced my wife to spend the evening at my sister-in-laws because trust me fellas, nothing will be gained from your significant other experiencing this with you.”
“I’m no longer in pain but am still having to make trips back to my master bath on a regular basis.”
ADVERTISEMENT
“Eat these if you dare but be forewarned, they are not to be trifled with unless you want your toilet to be a staging ground for repeat fecal rehearsals of “The Red Wedding” from Game of Thrones.”
Well then – what can we say?
We can only hope this is just a one-off bad batch of gummy bears, although we can’t be too sure.
What we can be sure of though is that these reviews some of the best worst reviews we’ve seen in a long time, so if you want to have a read of the rest of them, and trust us, you absolutely should do, then head on over to the Amazon listing here.
You’ll also be pleased to know that the gummy bears are no longer in-stock too.
Trending
You can now have a private sleepover amongst all the history inside Manchester Museum
Emily Sergeant
Manchester Museum is now offering one lucky family the chance to have a sleepover with Stan the Tyrannosaurus rex.
For the first time in Manchester Museum’s history, one lucky family will be given the chance to experience an incredible night at the museum.
This unique opportunity is being offered as part of a prize draw, allowing visitors to find out what happens once the sun goes down inside the Fossils and Dinosaurs gallery – in the company of Stan, the famous Tyrannosaurus rex, of course.
The Fossils and Dinosaurs gallery is one of the most iconic spaces within Manchester Museum.
Having opened to the public all the way back in 1888, it’s part of the museum’s original building designed by celebrated Alfred Waterhouse, who also designed Manchester Town Hall and London’s Natural History Museum.
Not only will the lucky winning family enjoy an overnight stay in the gallery, but they’ll also be treated to a guided torchlight tour of the galleries after the Museum has closed, as well as other fun activities and a film screening too before bed.
You can now have a private sleepover inside Manchester Museum / Credit: The Manc Group
“We can’t be completely sure what happens when the sun goes down in our Fossils and Dinosaurs gallery, because nobody has ever spent the night in there before, but we can only imagine the kind of fun that can be had with Stan the T. rex and his friends,” said Dean Whiteside, Head of Commercial and Operations at Manchester Museum.
“This is a chance to be a part of museum history and enjoy the kind of once-in-a-lifetime experience you can’t usually buy.
“At the same time, Manchester Museum is a charity so, by getting behind this initiative, you’ll be helping to support vital work that impacts the lives of people across Greater Manchester and beyond.”
Fancy it then? You can enter the prize draw by buying a ticket for £5 from the Manchester Museum Shop, with each ticket counting as one entry and the winner set to be chosen at random from all valid entries.
The prize draw is now open and closes on Monday 28 September 2026.
Featured Image – Supplied
Trending
A Twilight rave is coming to Manchester with DJs blasting 2000s indie and emo anthems
Emily Sergeant
A Twilight rave is coming to Manchester this spooky season.
It’s been nearly 20 years since the release of the titular first film in the Twilight Saga, based on author Stephanie Meyer’s bestselling book series of the same name, but despite two decades having passed, the films remain as beloved as ever.
Twilight went on to become a global phenomenon when it first hit cinemas back in November 2008, not just with its target audience of teens and young adults, but with people of all ages – making stars out of its lead actors Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart in the process, and generating millions at the box office.
With the impact it had on the culture at the time, it’s no wonder Twilight remained among fans’ favourites all these years later.
And this success is why events company Throwback Events is hosting a series of Twilight Raves across the UK and Europe this autumn, making a stop off here in Manchester in late November with tickets now on sale.
The event description reads: “Bella, where the hell you been loca? Join us as we celebrate Twilight at the club, where every day is Hoa Hoa Hoa season.
“Step into the shadows and relive the magic, mystery, and eternal romance of Twilight. Get ready for a night of anthems, nostalgia, and glittering darkness as we transform the dancefloor into Forks’ most iconic vampire coven.”
DJs will be spinning Twilight soundtracks on the night, alongside dark pop, emo, indie, and 2000s bangers, as well as playing fan edits from the films on big screens.
Oh, and to make it all the better, dressing up as vampires and werewolves is ‘highly encouraged’.
Fancy it then? The Twilight Rave is coming to the Deaf Institute in Manchester on Saturday 21 November, and tickets will set you back upwards of £7 each.
Emily Sergeant -
23rd July 2020 
