Kate Winslet has revealed the ‘awful, awful’ moment she was convinced she had defecated on stage at a leading Manchester theatre.
The Oscar-winning actress appeared on The Graham Norton Show and spilled all the details of the hilarious near-miss incident.
Kate explained that she was in a production of What the Butler Saw by Joe Orton at the Royal Exchange Theatre, which is right here in the heart of Manchester.
She told the audience, as well as enraptured fellow guests Sir Lenny Henry, Nadiya Hussain and Jack Whitehall, that she was ‘convinced I’ve totally sh*t myself’ live on stage.
Speaking on the show on Friday night, the Titanic star said: “Well I nearly did a poo on stage once.
“I’m just sitting here realising that you’re now going to make me tell that story.”
Kate Winslet. Credit: BBC, The Graham Norton ShowCredit: Royal Exchange Theatre
Of course, the entire audience and her fellow celebrity guests immediately start to egg her on.
Kate explains a part of the play where her character is asked to strip for a physical examination in a medical setting – and the logistics of the theatre’s stage that made the whole scenario so much worse.
“This theatre was in the round,” she said. “So little me, I go behind the curtain and I do what I’ve done for nights on end and I take everything off, and I’m behind this curtain sort of shaped like [a semi-circle] so all the people above me are looking straight down at poor little Kate.
“I have to lie on this bed and I would lie there really kind of uncomfortably and awkwardly, and I’m lying there and suddenly… “
At this point, she grips the couch and starts writhing, saying: “‘It’s happening, it’s happening, it’s happening. Oh my god I’m gonna sh*t myself.’
“And I’m lying on a white sheet, naked on a stage!
“I’m convinced I’ve totally sh*t myself. So I think ‘Well what am I gonna do, because in a minute I have to stand up, come out from behind the curtain, and look for all my clothes that he’s hidden in the plant pots, and I’ve done a f***ing poo! This is horrific!’
“So I start to sort of runkel the sheet, I try and skrunkle up this sheet as best I can, I do this kind of ninja flip move and I twist myself and I bind this sheet all around myself, and I’m still thinking ‘Ah, happening, happening, behind the curtain’ standing in front of an audience who can see me from every f***ing angle, and I’m absolutely just convinced that if I move my body, there’s going to be poo on the floor.
Kate Winslet on the Graham Norton Show. Credit: BBC
“This is the most awful, awful thing.
“Honestly, I practically slither off the stage, and I hide in a corner thinking ‘I’ve gotta check this sheet’.
“Ladies and gentleman, I had not actually done a poo. But the second I got into my dressing room and I ran into that bathroom – gunfire.”
You can watch the full clip here:
On YouTube, one person said: “Kate should get an award for that story. That’s why she so beloved.”
Another commented: “I knew Kate was talented but this is beyond hysterical.”
Someone else wrote: “Ladies and gentleman, witness the creation in real time of an all time classic Graham Norton Show story.”
You can star in your own series of Taskmaster in a castle near Greater Manchester this summer
Clementine Hall
Are you ready to channel your inner comedian? Great, because Taskmaster is coming up north.
Well…sort of.
The beloved (and hilarious) show is bringing a family-friendly version to Beeston Castle and Gardens, which is a picturesque English Heritage site in the rural Beeston area of Tarporley in Cheshire, and you are invited to try your hand at the wacky tasks yourselves.
From now right up until Sunday 31 August, visitors can take part in the ridiculous challenges inspired by the hit TV show.
In partnership with English Heritage, it’s appropriate for all ages and a fantastic day out for all the family.
Contestants will pick up their score card on arrival before exploring the site and getting involved in tasks along the way.
Whether you’re a die-hard fan of the popular comedy show or a complete newbie, this Taskmaster experience guarantees a hilarious day out in the Cheshire countryside… and don’t worry, Greg Davies and Alex Horne won’t be judging your efforts along the way either – phew.
“We are delighted to be collaborating with the Taskmaster team this summer,” commented Beth Stone, who is the Head of Visitor Engagement and Experience at English Heritage.
You can star in your own series of Taskmaster near Greater Manchester this summer / Credit: Jim Holden (via English Heritage)
“From tasks such as becoming a monarch and making your own laws, to creating your own solstice, our visitors can expect a host of fun with a history twist at many of our properties, and of course, plenty of rubber ducks.”
Alex Horne, creator and star of Taskmaster, added: “It’s nice to go to nice places, but it’s even nicer to do fun things in those nice places – and this should ensure you can do just that for this summer at least.”
To find out more, take a look at English Heritage’s website here.
Featured Image – English Heritage
TV & Showbiz
Oasis 25: Heaton Park send off Oasis like only Manchester could – with biblical rain
Clementine Hall
Oasis are well and truly back on top as they performed for the final night at Heaton Park and what could still be the very last time in Manchester.
There are countless moments every night that show how uniting this full-on cultural moment has been.
The guy in the wheelchair being lifted overhead by a group of strangers for a better view. The couple getting engaged before being enveloped in a sea of bucket hats. The thousands of people gathering on ‘Gallagher Hill’ every night just to be close to this historic music event.
Then the celeb-spotting too: Jack Grealish, Shaun Ryder and Andy Whyment off Corrie in the same frame of a video; Orlando Bloom waving at fans. Liam and Noel’s kids all together on a big cousins’ night out. It’s had it all.
For a lot of Mancs, the Oasis reunion has felt like Christmas morning ever since it was announced last year following a number of post-gig teasers like that Blossoms headliner at Wythenshawe Park.
And it certainly felt like that as we braved the soggy ground over at Heaton Park for their fifth and final live show in Manchester.
The atmosphere in the crowd was almost surreal, a mass of Britpop-loving super fans who have been waiting for this exact moment for almost twenty years – and you could tell.
As the brothers strutted on stage, hand in hand, a feeling of euphoric joy surged from the crowd of 80,000.
For two hours, they deliver anthem after anthem, each song transcending generations as the older lot look back to their ‘Live Forever’ days and the youth can’t quite wrap their head around the band in front of them being here and now.
Oasis’ final night at Heaton Park was everything we dreamed it would be. (Credit: Audio North)
Oasis are just as good as ever; Liam’s gritty vocals and Noel‘s ripping guitar slot together perfectly as though they were made for one another.
They’re loud and they’re unapologetic, they are the sound of the people, and we were absolutely lapping it up.
Every song was a hit, from bangers like ‘Cigarettes and Alcohol’ to fan favourite ‘Live Forever’, and of course ‘Wonderwall’, the brothers gave the people exactly what they wanted.
Liam, maracas in hand and parka zipped to the top, not only might be the coolest man to walk the planet, but was undoubtedly born to be a frontman of a band. The head nods, the frowning eyebrows, the fists clenched behind his back – we were fully gripped by his sheer stage presence.
Images: The Manc Group
There was a moment where he put the tambourine in his mouth, closed his eyes and lifted his head to the sky, taking it all in and getting lost in the music – an icon.
And of course, in true Manc fashion, the heavens opened an hour into their set as the grey cloud everyone had an eye on took centre stage.
Did we care? No, we did not. It only made the moment that more special as we united as one unit, singing as loud as we could to combat the elements.
It’s clear to see how much Oasis means to so many; their music is embedded into the national psyche with a presence that simply defines generations.
Who knows when they’ll be performing back in Manchester again, and if this was their last time, then they can rest assured that by returning, they’ve made themselves the biggest band in the world again. And that’s an accolade they truly deserve.
Daisy Jackson -
13th December 2022 
