Heinz has created its own Christmas dinner in a tin – and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Comprised of pigs in blankets, “big chunks” of turkey, Brussel sprouts, sage and onion stuffing, roast potatoes, red cabbage, gravy, and cranberry sauce, the company has – seemingly unironically – crammed one of the best meals of the year into a depressingly compact, 400g aluminum tin.
The canned Christmas dinner is being marketed by Heinz as an answer to the food shortages the UK is currently experiencing, with a brand spokesperson championing it “a winner”.
Listed for sale online only, it has been released as a limited edition of just 500 cans – with the company already hinting it could roll it out in greater numbers next year if it proves a hit with shoppers.
Given that it’s already sold out online since going live this morning, that may well end up being the case.
Brand representative Anke Von Hanstein said: “It is made for those with a big love for hearty festive flavours and tastes just perfect with a slice of warm crusty bread.
“Any soup that includes pigs in blankets and roasties is a winner in our eyes.”
Technically more of a soup than a proper Christmas dinner, the Christmas Dinner Big Soup is priced at £1.50 per can and contains two servings.
Its roll-out has definitely caused some amusement online, but it also points to a darker reality as Christmas approaches, living costs rise and the fear of empty shelves becomes a reality – with many supermarkets already using cardboard cutouts to conceal the numerous gaps caused by pandemic and Brexit-related shortages.
Of course, who knows – it could always catch on and the country could discard its beloved roast dinners in favour of a tin of canned soup. It seems like anything goes these days.
It’s not the first time such an aberration to our favourite meal has appeared, either.
In 2013, Chris Godfrey developed a Christmas dinner in a can for GAME – a ‘nine-layer feast’ made especially for “gamers who can’t tear themselves away from their new games and consoles on Christmas Day.”
Starting with a scrambled egg and bacon layer for breakfast, it was followed by lunch (mincemeat pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, Brussel sprouts or broccoli with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips).
The can then ended with dessert, made up of a Christmas pudding and a custard layer.
The ‘Christmas tinner’ fast became a meme, even earning its own subreddit.
One of the most famous memes read: “the thing about Britain is this could be a joke but it could also be real.”
Well, we’re certainly through the looking glass now.
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Manchester Storm ban supporter and condemn discriminatory behaviour after online comments
Danny Jones
Ice hockey side Manchester Storm have come out to vocally condemn any and all forms of discrimination following recent concerns raised online and, more importantly, putting words into action after issuing a stadium ban to a match-going fan.
Writing a lengthy, passionate and defiant post on Wednesday, 6 August, Manchester Storm informed supporters that they had been made aware of multiple “derogatory and discriminatory comments” earlier this week.
The remarks in question were made across various social media platforms, as well as fan forums over the past few days, but thankfully were quickly identified and removed by admins.
Nevertheless, Storm recognised the importance of cracking down on this kind of behaviour as swiftly and firmly as possible, penning this pitch-perfect reply in terms of tone and practical action.
The official statement reads: “These comments are deeply concerning and go against everything our club stands for. Let us be absolutely clear: racism, homophobia, and any form of discriminatory or hateful behaviour will not be tolerated – online or at the [Planet Ice] Arena.
“We are proud to be a diverse and inclusive club that welcomes players, staff, and fans from all backgrounds. Anyone found engaging in racist, homophobic, or otherwise abusive behaviour will be banned and will not be permitted entry to The [Storm] Shelter.”
Storm also went on to detail that the individual in question regarding multiple related incidents has not only been issued with a ban, but that their season ticket has been revoked and will be denied all entry to their home ground in Altrincham.
They also assured that the matter has been reported to Greater Manchester Police, adding that the club “will continue to cooperate fully with their investigations” and”will not hesitate to pursue further legal action where necessary.
Proud to see such quick and decisive action from the local sporting organisation, which should help serve as a real deterrent for similar potential trouble in the future.
The response from the right-minded fans in the comments was great to see as well.
Regardless of the offensive remarks made on the forum, most Manchester Storm supporters welcome the statement fan ban. (Credit: IG)
One user on X wrote: “The storm is for everyone; we don’t need these people anywhere near the Storm Shelter. Thank you for acting so quickly.” Another on Instagram added, “Absolutely, hockey is for everyone, correct and firm stance/action. Well done, from a Belfast Giants fan.”
The club signed off by saying: “Manchester Storm remains committed to providing a safe and welcoming environment for all. Hate has no place in hockey – or anywhere else.
“We thank our community for standing with us in upholding these values.
Manchester dessert and sandwich stars Gooey are set to open another city centre site
Danny Jones
0161’s world-famous dessert stars, Gooey, are set to open another city centre site – their third in Greater Manchester and soon-to-be fifth overall.
Known for their incredible cookies, doughnuts, brunch, legendary French toast and plenty more, Gooey made their first foray out of their hometown with a Liverpool location last year, and are now set to consolidate their Manc base even further.
Set to open in a prime piece of real estate, the latest Manchester Gooey store will be opening in a sizeable empty unit over on Circle Square, right next to the Asda Express and in the heart of the student living and leisure complex.
Benefitting from being easily seen from along the bustling Oxford Road Corridor, you can expect this place to be packed to the rafters from the off on day one.
The signs are already in the window.That unreal French toast dripping in syrup.Credit: The Manc Eats
There are few details on what the new arrival might have in-store beyond all the brand favourites at this early stage, but each Gooey store shop does have its own charm.
From their original bakery and cafe over in the Northern Quarter, to the three kiosks in Ducie Street Warehouse, The Trafford Centre Selfridges and over on Merseyside’s iconic Bold Street, they all offer something a little different.
As for any hints at the launch plans, fans are yet to be given an official opening date, but you best believe you’ll be the first to know the second we do.
In case you’ve never tried or even come across the indulgent and fast-growing independent business before, another popular part of their menu is the bits between bread.
Touching on the upcoming addition, Charlotte Wild, Head of Retail & Leisure at Bruntwood SciTech – the team behind Circle Square’s ever-expanding offerings – said: “Gooey is an incredible local brand who are continuing to grow, evolve and innovate, with ever more exciting desserts.
“They will make a fantastic addition to the Circle Square community, and we look forward to seeing the impact they make in the coming months.”
In case you wonder how much we love this place and just how excited you should be about another one landing here in the city centre, sometimes we just put together random appreciation posts for that one, aforementioned butty alone.
Local foodies will also be buzzing to hear that they’re not the only calorific cult favourites that are bringing more to our mouths in 2025.
First, it was Brewski, followed by American Pies; then it was Foldies, and now the beloved culinary brand is launching yet another new concept here in Manchester.
Georgina Pellant -
1st November 2021 
