A slightly overweight, self-centred beast who went viral for being a w**ker this week has finally moved on from the UK – and sadly, I’m not referring to Piers Morgan.
No, this particular mammal was Thor, a huge walrus who chose to spend his New Year’s Eve in the popular northern seaside town of Scarborough.
The incredible marine animal had hauled himself up onto the harbour slipway in the North Yorkshire town, drawing thousands of fascinated locals to see him.
And unlike his viral walrus counterpart Freya – who was euthanised for posing a ‘threat to human safety’ after people got too close to her – Thor was left in peace until he was rested enough to continue his journey north.
His little holiday in Scarborough even led to the local New Year’s Eve fireworks display being cancelled, after the British Divers Marine Life Rescue advised that the loud noises could ‘distress’ the walrus.
Instead, crowds flocked down to see the huge creature hanging out in their town – and got to witness him… ahem… pleasuring himself in front of onlookers.
ADVERTISEMENT
A video viewed almost four million times was captioned: “There’s a walrus lost in scarborough. So hes just decided to knock one out in front of us all on the pier. no fucks given.”
Someone else sharing the video wrote: “A walrus named Thor stopped by Scarborough to masturbate and rest on his journey in the North Sea, prompting the city to cancel its New Year’s Eve fireworks to avoid disturbing him. This is the energy we need in 2023.”
Other more family-friendly videos show him scratching his nose, having a slow wander about, and generally chilling out by the water.
ADVERTISEMENT
Since he moved on from Scarborough, he was spotted relaxing on a pontoon up in Blyth, Northumberland, but moved on again early this morning.
An incredible Twitter thread by Bethan Clyne, a marine mammal medic with BDMLR, detailed the ‘gruelling but rewarding’ 14 hours they spent monitoring Thor the walrus in Scarborough.
What a surreal day! Arriving on site at 3am 31/12/2022 and spending a grueling but rewarding 14hrs closely monitoring 'Thor'.
It's been an absolute honour and a privilege to be involved from the start and be part of such an amazing @BDMLR team.
Her updates included that he remained ‘relatively unphased and comfortable’ despite the huge crowds who came out to see him.
Bethan wrote: “As Medics, we also devoted a large amount of our time to the public. I really enjoyed talking and educating 100’s upon 100’s of the interested, respectful members of the public. Some were so kind to offer drinks, food and encouraging words to keep us going in the rain and cold!”
She added: “After hours of him teasing us (I thought he was going to rest again) I was so excited and relieved when he finally made his way back to sea! We sprinted to the end of the harbour where we watched him surface a few times before disappearing into the darkness.”
ADVERTISEMENT
Thor the walrus is now expected to make his way up north, but may pause again for another break (hopefully he keeps it PG this time) somewhere along the Scottish coastline.
Featured image: TikTok @andysheadz / Twitter @BDMLR
Trending
Alex Sanderson summons Rudyard Kipling as Sale Sharks scrape into the semi-finals
Danny Jones
Director of Rugby Alex Sanderson referenced the famous Rudyard Kipling after Sale Sharks managed to book their place in the playoffs of this year’s Gallagher Premiership following a nail-biter of a fixture against Exeter Chiefs.
The Sharks sealed their spot in the semi-finals with a 30-26 win over the Chiefs on Saturday night, with a trio of tries, a singular pen and calmness when it came to conversions proving just enough to make it to full time.
Speaking on the narrow score at Sandy Park, Sanderson himself applauded that same composure during his post-match duties, casually quoting Kipling ahead of the next big game.
Writing on social media after nerves had just about settled, the club simply said: “Apologies for raising the heart rate, Sharks Family… but Saturday we go again.”
Beginning with an expression of that same defiant spirit that has seen them across the line on so many occasions, the 45-year-old told TNT Sports, “We got another Monday in us.”
The Sale Sharks coach went on to add: “So if you can keep your head, when everybody else is losing theirs – I think that’s the old Rudyard Kipling poem – you’re in such a better place on the back of that, knowing what we can fix from the Leicester game and what we can do better from today.”
It’s not every day you hear sportsmen calling up the poetic words of the beloved British-India writer, but it certainly impressed plenty of supporters, though Sanderson has always been popular among fans for his candour and charisma in interviews.
Ultimately, it was Rekeiti Ma’asi-White, Bevan Rodd, Luke Cowan-Dickie and George Ford that the Greater Manchester outfit had to thank for the electrifying finish
You can see how much it meant, clear as day…
Not done yet…
Thank you for your support Sharks Family, it’s truly appreciated!
Sale Sharks will now take on Leicester Tigers (who the local side finished just behind in third place following the result against the Chiefs) in the Premiership semis as they look to get revenge for previous painful meetings
Are you feeling hopeful, Sharks Family?
You can see the full highlights from Sale Sharks’ tense victory over the Exeter Chiefs down below.
Alex Sanderson channelled Rudyard Kipling and Sale scrapped like true Sharks.
‘The average cost of a pint’ in the UK by region, according to the latest data
Danny Jones
Does it feel like pints keep getting more and more expensive almost every week at this point? Yes. Yes, it does, and while you can’t expect a city as big as Manchester to be one of the cheapest places to get one in the UK, we do often wonder how it compares to other parts of the country.
Well, as it happens, someone has recently crunched the numbers for us across the nation, breaking down which regions pay the most and the least for their pints.
The data has been examined by business management consultancy firm, CGA Strategy, using artificial intelligence and information from the latest Retail Price Index figures to find out what the ‘average cost of a pint’ is down south, up North and everywhere in between.
While the latest statistics provided by the group aren’t granular enough to educate us on Greater Manchester’s pint game exactly, we can show you how our particular geographic region is looking on the leaderboard at the moment.
That’s right, we Mancunians and the rest of the North West are technically joint mid-table when it comes to the lowest average cost of a pint, sharing the places from 3rd to 8th – according to CGA, anyway.
Powered by consumer intelligence company, NIQ (NielsenIQ) – who also use AI and the latest technology to deliver their insights – we can accept it might seem like it’s been a while since you’ve paid that little for a pint, especially in the city centre, but these are the stats they have published.
Don’t shoot the messenger, as they say; unless, of course, they’re trying to rob you blind for a bev. Fortunately, we’ve turned bargain hunting at Manchester bars into a sport at this point.
We might not boast the lowest ‘average’ pint cost in the UK, but we still have some bloody good places to keep drinking affordable.
London tops the charts (pretends to be shocked)
While some of you may have scratched your eyes at the supposed average pint prices here in the North West, it won’t surprise any of you to see that London leads the way when it came to the most expensive pint when it came to average cost in the UK.
To be honest, £5.44 doesn’t just sound cheap but virtually unheard of these days.
CGA has it that the average cost of a beer in the British capital is actually down 15p from its price last September, but as we all know, paying upwards of £7 for a pint down that end of the country is pretty much par for the course the closer you get to London.
Yet more reason you can be glad you live around here, eh? And in case you thought you were leaving this article with very little, think again…
Daisy Jackson -
3rd January 2023 
