An infamous rant by Noel Gallagher about how rubbish Christmas is has resurfaced online and just in time for the holidays.
Right on cue, just like that advert with Santa driving the big lorry full of Coca-Cola.
In case you’ve never heard him rip festive fanatics a new one before, the legendary Manc musician pretty much loathes everything about the holiday season – or at least he once did, not that he’s one to dwell on beefs and grievances of any kind…
Speaking in a typically sarcastic Christmas message courtesy of visual arts and electronic outlets 180 Fact, the Oasis songwriter and lead guitarist starts nice and softly by simply stating: “The entire f***ing period is a stain on society – I f***ing hate it with a passion.”
A festive Gallagher grouch, through and through.
As you can see in the full short but not-so-sweet clip above, in which Noel manages to cram in countless gripes against everything from Christmas jingles, jumpers and songs, to even TV adverts, presenters and even the amount of food (what?…), the 57-year-old really isn’t very keen on it at all.
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He even took issue with charity singles like the 1985 ‘We Are the World’ song because god forbid any well-meaning soul embrace the spirit of giving come December.
Every year it rears its end, we particularly enjoy his bizarre tangent about a kid asking for an exotic spider or tree frog. Hyperbole and absurdity, we know, but still cracks us up.
The older Gallagher brother reels off pretty much every negative adjective you can think of for Christmas: “rubbish”, “boring”, “dogsh**” and so on. He even says he has turned his daughter Anais against the holiday and will continue to work on the other family members in the coming years.
Having said that, we’re not too sure how well all that is going or if Noel is still as vehement in his hatred of Christmas as he once was, especially given recent events. This you, mate, yeah?…
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Noel Gallagher hosted a star-studded Christmas party in London on Wednesday night.
The 57-year-old got into the festive spirit by inviting a load of his famous pals to celebrity hangout Chiltern Firehouse, which is frequented by the likes of Kate Moss, Rita Ora and even Tom… pic.twitter.com/0E8EnnXgTg
In all seriousness, we sincerely hope that now Oasis are officially back that Noel and all the other Gallagher family relations will be reunited once again this festive period and that everything will be absolutely hunky dory.
That being said, we’ve already had one early Christmas miracle with the two kissing and making up so we’re not going to push our luck too much because, let’s be honest, if it’s anything like anyone else’s Christmas, they’ll be at each other’s throats before you know it.
Please just stay friends until after the tour’s over, lads, we beg you.
What about you lot? Are you Christmas fans or, like Noel Gallagher, do you think it’s overrated tripe?
A ‘disco for grown ups’ party is coming to Manchester this year
Thomas Melia
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A disco party for ‘grown ups’, centred around 70s, 80s and 90s music, is making its way to Manchester this year.
The wildly popular Discos for Grown Ups will be heading to town in May, encouraging some serious boogie action with its playlist of soul, disco, pop and dancefloor from across the decades.
The night out has been created for those who feel ‘too old to go clubbing, but still love to dance’, with people your own age, and with a sensibly early finish time.
When the night is still young but you might not be, you can let loose under a light and laser show featuring the fabulous Discos for Grown Ups stage dancers.
Whether you’re a ‘Material Girl’ who craves the spotlight or or a shy dancer who comes out of their shell after catching a case of ‘Night Fever’, this night will be spoiling you with its array of tracks.
Credit: Supplied
Discos for Grown Ups was founded by Simon Stanford after discovering there was nowhere for a ‘grown up’ to go that played the music he loved.
Simon Stanford from Discos for Grown Ups says: “We are really looking forward to bringing our Discos for Grown Ups 70’s 80’s 90’s Disco Party back to the O2 Ritz Manchester this year.
“Our first show was an incredible night of dancing and sold out very quickly, so we can’t wait to bring our full production with dancers, lights and lasers back – it’s going to be another amazing night of boogie!”
Expect a night of fun-filled dancefloor bangers spanning three golden decades of music.Credit: Supplied
Self Esteem drops new single along with huge UK tour full of double headers
Danny Jones
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Rising Northern star Self Esteem has just dropped the new single from her forthcoming new album along with a bunch of big new UK tour dates, including two nights right here in Manchester.
The singer-songwriter, also known simply as Rebecca Lucy Taylor, has seen her popularity skyrocket in the last few of years, winning BBC Music’s Introducing ‘Artist of the Year Award’ back in 2021 and being nominated for the Mercury Prize less than 12 months later.
Fast forward to 2025 and not only has she recieved plenty of critical acclaim for her first two records but her live presence on stage has also been heavily praised and now the 38-year-old is gearing up for her next album cycle.
Announcing her latest single, ‘If Not Now, It’s Soon’, which has quickly selected as BBC Radio 1’s ‘Hottest Record’, the new track has also dropped along with 14 major UK tour dates, with a string double headers in multiple cities.
Born and bred in Rotherham but with strong ties to nearby Sheffield, her journey began as one half of folk pop duo Slow Club. They formed back in 2006 but split in 2017 as both she and bandmate Charles Watson parted ways to pursue their respective solo projects.
Set to release her third studio LP A Complicated Woman on 25 April, these latest tour dates are some of the biggest she’ll have ever played – including a massive Yorkshire homecoming gig at the Utilita Arena which will be a momentous show for our friends The Sheff to make the most of.
Discussing the new project, Taylor says: “Personally, you have to wait and one day you’ll get somewhere less painful. But the world will hopefully get somewhere less painful too. It’s about hope, perseverance and patience.”
As for those who’ve been lucky enough to get an premature listen of the album in full, the early reviews are looking seriosuly strong.
Described by The Guardian as “her best yet”, it features the likes of Nadine Shah, Moonchild Sanelly and Sue Tompkins from Life Without Buildings; Meatball and even Lancashire actor, Julie Hesmondhalgh, best known for playing Hayley Cropper in Coronation Street. Now that’s what we call a feature.
Self Esteem comes for a two massive nights at Manchester Academy on Saturday and Sunday, 27-28 September later this year.
Her previous raft of dates for A Complicated Woman Live – an ambitious quasi-theatrical experience of the album in person and on stage at The Duke of York’s in London – sold out in a flash, and you can expect plenty of that same production value when it comes to her upcoming concerts.
Fans get an exclusive pre-sale code for all UK and Ireland dates by pre-odering the album before 1pm GMT on Tuesday, 25 March 2025, and as for general admission, you’ll have to join the queue like the rest of us when they go live (still TBC).
In the meantime, you can join us in being as obsessed with her other recent release as we are:
Danny Jones -
16th December 2024 
