An infamous rant by Noel Gallagher about how rubbish Christmas is has resurfaced online and just in time for the holidays.
Right on cue, just like that advert with Santa driving the big lorry full of Coca-Cola.
In case you’ve never heard him rip festive fanatics a new one before, the legendary Manc musician pretty much loathes everything about the holiday season – or at least he once did, not that he’s one to dwell on beefs and grievances of any kind…
Speaking in a typically sarcastic Christmas message courtesy of visual arts and electronic outlets 180 Fact, the Oasis songwriter and lead guitarist starts nice and softly by simply stating: “The entire f***ing period is a stain on society – I f***ing hate it with a passion.”
A festive Gallagher grouch, through and through.
As you can see in the full short but not-so-sweet clip above, in which Noel manages to cram in countless gripes against everything from Christmas jingles, jumpers and songs, to even TV adverts, presenters and even the amount of food (what?…), the 57-year-old really isn’t very keen on it at all.
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He even took issue with charity singles like the 1985 ‘We Are the World’ song because god forbid any well-meaning soul embrace the spirit of giving come December.
Every year it rears its end, we particularly enjoy his bizarre tangent about a kid asking for an exotic spider or tree frog. Hyperbole and absurdity, we know, but still cracks us up.
The older Gallagher brother reels off pretty much every negative adjective you can think of for Christmas: “rubbish”, “boring”, “dogsh**” and so on. He even says he has turned his daughter Anais against the holiday and will continue to work on the other family members in the coming years.
Having said that, we’re not too sure how well all that is going or if Noel is still as vehement in his hatred of Christmas as he once was, especially given recent events. This you, mate, yeah?…
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Noel Gallagher hosted a star-studded Christmas party in London on Wednesday night.
The 57-year-old got into the festive spirit by inviting a load of his famous pals to celebrity hangout Chiltern Firehouse, which is frequented by the likes of Kate Moss, Rita Ora and even Tom… pic.twitter.com/0E8EnnXgTg
In all seriousness, we sincerely hope that now Oasis are officially back that Noel and all the other Gallagher family relations will be reunited once again this festive period and that everything will be absolutely hunky dory.
That being said, we’ve already had one early Christmas miracle with the two kissing and making up so we’re not going to push our luck too much because, let’s be honest, if it’s anything like anyone else’s Christmas, they’ll be at each other’s throats before you know it.
Please just stay friends until after the tour’s over, lads, we beg you.
What about you lot? Are you Christmas fans or, like Noel Gallagher, do you think it’s overrated tripe?
Government to introduce price cap on ticket touts and launch consultation on dynamic pricing
Danny Jones
The UK government are finally set to install a price cap on re-sale tickets for touts and open an official consultation on the growing trend of dynamic pricing.
If you’ve bought a ticket to a live music show over the past year or so, you’ll have noticed that ticket prices in general are on the up – particularly if purchased from a reseller, in which case you might have paid through the nose for the privilege.
Not only does ticket touting remain a prevailing problem in the industry, with tonnes of tickets for big shows, especially, being snapped up in bulk or by bots and listed for re-sale before you’ve even added them to your basket, but the advent of this new dynamic pricing lark has made things even harder.
You only have to look at the controversy and chaos surrounding Oasis’ reunion tour, which ultimately saw some fans paying significant amounts more for practically the same ticket just a few days later in what many dubbed as ‘fraud’ and even ’emotional blackmail’.
Justin Timberlake at Co-op Live Manchester was one of countless gigs where ticket prices fluctuated. (Credit: The Manc Group)
Tackling resellers head-on
Knowing full well that people will go to extreme lengths to try and see the musicians and artists they love so dearly – in some cases being backed into a corner as the final figure displayed on the screen when they checkout suddenly jumps up – the modern ticketing industry is severely broken.
With all that in mind, the government are now looking to enact more stringent measures on resellers, by announcing a new price cap on tickets put back up for sale which is set to be introduced (hopefully) in the very near future.
Targeting sites infamous for inflating re-sale costs such as Viagogo, StubHub and others, the bill published on Friday, 10 January proposes a price cap of face value plus 10-30% but no more, with an obvious aim to keep that number as low as possible.
According to the current figures, touts reportedly cost music fans alone more than £145 million in extra re-sale fees when purchasing tickets every year – a frankly ridiculous sum. There will always be tickets ending up on re-sale sites, that’s unavoidable, but a price cap could seriously improve the situation.
The Manc music legends themselves claim they had little control over the situation.
Down with dynamic pricing
Labour, who were voted into power back in July, are also set to try and combat dynamic prices, which essentially sees gigs and events set people back more or less depending on how the popular ticket sales have been up to that point, market trends and general demand. An initial review was called for last year.
Put simply, the more people want to attend a gig, platforms like Ticketmaster feel they are able to jack up their margins even after the initial price point has been established. The European Commission has been investigating these methods since September 2024.
Although it is still unclear as to the exact time scale of when these changes will come in, Labour MP Chris Bryant told NME that although they are still in the early stages, it is “now just a matter of how the government takes action.” And that’s where you come in.
The consultation is also crucially public, with the calling for people to submit their evidence on current pricing practices and continue engaging in the discussion throughout the progress. New Year’s Resolution: let’s curb ticket touts as much as we possibly can.
The AO Arena is giving away FREE tickets for a year to celebrate 30 years in Manchester
Daisy Jackson
The AO Arena has announced it’s giving away free tickets for a year to celebrate its 30th anniversary in Manchester.
The iconic music venue has welcomed the biggest names in the world in its three decades, with millions of us making memories for life inside its huge space.
And now you could win VIP tickets for an entire year, simply for sharing those memories with the AO Arena.
Fans who submit their old photos, videos and tickets will be in with a chance to win tickets to all the shows coming up in 2025 – which already includes massive gigs like Kylie Minogue, Katy Perry and Busted vs McFly.
AO Arena wants to dig deep into ‘first gig’ nostalgia territory, using fan-submitted snaps to build a collection of Manchester memories.
Were you in the same room as Taylor Swift, did you party like it was 1999 (because it was) with Spice Girls, did you cry over the sight of Gary Barlow or cry laughing with Peter Kay?
Britney Spears and Beyonce are among the names who have performed at AO Arena in its 30 year history. Credit: Supplied
Whatever your AO Arena memories are, you can share them before the end of the month to be entered into the competition to win VIP tickets for the year.
One overall winner picked at random will get the ultimate VIP experience, including access to a premium suite and The Beautiful North, as well as access to The Mezz with panoramic views of the main stage.
The 30th birthday campaign has been inspired by Adele’s monumental When We Were Young performance at Glastonbury, and all these memories will be projected around the arena before every performance.
You can submit your footage and enter the competition via the AO Arena website HERE.
Danny Jones -
16th December 2024 
