In an ideal world, Erling Haaland would be a player on every club’s wishlist this Christmas and it would seem Ashton United FC are the first to put in a cheeky bid for him.
The best part is, it seems as though they’re being at least half-serious.
Speaking in a club statement following their defeat to Gainsborough Trinity over the weekend, Ashton manager Michael Clegg confirmed the team have submitted a loan approach for Haaland, insisting that the offer “just makes sense”. AUFC play in the Northern Premier League’s top division.
The Robins’ coach told the club’s website: “City aren’t playing and we want to help by keeping Erling fit. It makes more sense than him playing golf for six weeks”. He makes a good point, to be fair.
As Norway did not qualify for the 2022 Qatar World Cup and the league is obviously on hold until after the tournament, the 22-year-old doesn’t currently have a regular supply of games in front of him.
Clegg went on to add that he thinks the big number nine “would be a great fit for us and would slot in with our squad dynamic really well.” Yeah, 23 goals in all comps this season already – we bet you do.
Even Deputy Labour Leader and Ashton-native Angela Rayner has backed the bid, calling on both Manchester City and Haaland to take them up on the offer, assuring them that “the fans are the best at my local club”.
Police issue update after Sterling flies home from World Cup following home invasion
Surrey Police have issued an update following Raheem Sterling’s home invasion that has forced the England international to fly home from the 2022 World Cup.
The former Manchester City star was left out of the Three Lions squad against Senegal due to a “family matter” on Sunday before the exact circumstances were confirmed shortly after.
Authorities have now verified that hundreds of thousands of pounds of goods had been stolen from the property but that, fortunately, “no threat of violence was involved”.
Sterling flew just hours after hearing of the break-in at his home Leatherhead home where he lives with his fiancé and two children.
Manager Gareth Southgate could not confirm whether the Chelsea player will be returning to the squad, insisting that, obviously, “the priority is for him to be with his family” and that they will “give him as much time as he needs”.
The police force said in a statement: “We are currently investigating a report of a burglary at an address in Oxshott, Leatherhead.
“Police were contacted just before 9pm on Saturday, December 3rd after the occupants of the property came home and discovered a number of items including jewellery and watches had been stolen.
“Inquiries to establish the circumstances are underway and the investigation is ongoing. No threat of violence was involved as the items were discovered stolen retrospectively. Inquiries into the circumstances are ongoing.”
Grealish holds his hands up over Almirón dig: ‘I do stupid stuff’
Jack Grealish has finally held his hands up after mocking Miguel Almirón, assuring that while he has made mistakes in career, he has a “good heart”.
Speaking to the media at the national camp in Qatar, the footballer was asked about his now-infamous dig at the Newcastle player, quipping that teammate Riyad Mahrez “played like Almirón” in a sub-par performance during Manchester City‘s 2021/22 title-winning match back in May.
Ironically, Grealish‘s Almiron joke has preceded an incredible run of form from the winger this year, arguably being their player of the season with eight goals to his name already.
Despite the 28-year-old insisting he has “never really paid attention” to what people say about him, he will have inevitably seen the viral clip.
Nevertheless, the England and City star took accountability for the unnecessary outburst, confessing, “I do stupid stuff, that was one”, whilst assuring: “Obviously I’ve done stupid stuff in my life but I think everything that I do good is from my heart.”
The 27-year-old went on to say that describe his Premier League peer as a “great player”, adding: “what a guy… if that was me and somebody had said that about me, I’d have probably been the other way and been like: ‘f*** it'”.
While he said he didn’t think the drunken video would go public, he knows it wasn’t the most professional of moments and that not only is he “buzzing” to see Almirón playing so well but that he will be sure to “show him the most respect” the next time they meet on the pitch.