Marc White, manager of National League side Dorking Wanderers FC, has gone viral after his brutally honest and downright hilarious assessment of his team’s performance against Oldham Athletic.
Some top-notch casual cussing, here.
White was speaking to the club’s official YouTube channel after his side’s hefty 5-1 defeat to the Latics on Saturday, 7 January, and didn’t mince his words for one second.
Although David Unsworth’s team put on an impressive display, with striker Karl Mike Fondop Talom bagging a hattrick as the Greater Manchester outfit cruised to victory, the Dorking manager not only praised the opposition but also went fully in on his own players.
Here’s just a taste. Tell us how you really feel, Marc…
The 49-year-old coach and founder of the ever-ascending semi-pro team kicked off the no-nonsense appraisal of his team by breaking down things into the simplest terms possible: “Well, from our perspective, obviously sh*t.”
We appreciate your brevity, Marc.
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After making sure to thank the Dorking fans for their “loyalty” and for “getting behind the team”, as well as giving a “big thanks to the Oldham fans for getting piss wet through”, White wasted no time digging into his squad.
He summed up the root cause just as succinctly: “Oldham won 5-1 because we’re sh*t at defending”. Penny for the centre-half’s thoughts right now.
Here’s his rant in full.
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We counted at least six references to ‘sh*t’ and or ‘piss’. Just under one a minute.
As you can see, he also had very little time for the referees on the day, insisting that the “officials were so bad it was unbelievable.
“I’ve got to say, honestly, they should pack it in — literally pack in doing what they do”. He really wasn’t letting anyone off the hook.”
He went on to argue that the National League should get rid of what he perceived as an obstructive over-reliance on headsets, describing the refs as appalling and akin to “Domino’s drivers all talking to each other” to the point that the first official “can’t ref his own game anymore”.
While we can only sympathise with the Dorking players who are undoubtedly in for a rough week of training and equally hilarious bollockings, we’re just glad we got to better familiarise ourselves with a straight-talking manager as they’re an increasingly rare commodity these days.
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Sitting 16th in the standings, Dorking face Kidderminster Harriers in the FA Trophy on Saturday, 14 January and travel to 21st-placed Gateshead for their next league game next week.
Part-time or not, White and his men will no doubt be hoping to get back to winning ways against two very beatable prospects.
For now, you can watch the full Dorking vs Oldham highlights down below. We’re sure Oldham fans will be happy more than to.
Details released of Andy Burnham’s meetings with Manchester City owners while Mayor
Emily Sergeant
Details of Andy Burnham’s meetings with Manchester City owners during his tenure as Mayor of Greater Manchester have been released.
In case you need bringing up to speed on the situation a little first, Manchester City was found guilty back in September all of its charges related to the Premier League’s financial rules over a nine-season period, and on top of that, was also found guilty of the majority of charges in relation to its failure to co-operate with the League’s investigation.
According to the Premier League, the independent Commission found that Manchester City had arranged so-called ‘sham’ commercial deals with a number of its sponsors.
These were part of a disguised funding scheme – with those sponsors only required to pay a portion of the relevant sponsorship fees.
The remainder was then funded by Abu Dhabi United Group Investment & Development Ltd (ADUG), which owned the club.
The Commission also concluded, as quoted by the Premier League, that the club had ‘made concerted efforts to stop and frustrate the Premier League investigation’.
Within the past week or so, it has since come to light that now-Prime Minister Andy Burnham had dealings with Manchester City during his tenure as Greater Manchester Mayor, and Greater Manchester Combined Authority (GMCA) has now issued a public statement, giving details on the matter and what these ‘dealings’ entailed.
A spokesperson for GMCA confirmed that Burnham had a ‘formal meeting’ with Man City Chairman, Khaldoon Al Mubarak, back in October 2021.
The statement reads in full: “In October 2021, Andy Burnham, in his role as Mayor of Greater Manchester, had a formal meeting with Khaldoon Al Mubarak at the UK Government’s Global Investment Summit arranged by the Department for International Trade.
“In his capacity as Mayor, he was a guest of Manchester City FC at home matches on a small number of occasions, including attending Vincent Kompany’s testimonial match in September 2019, where he met the Chairman informally in the stands. These have been declared in the usual way.
“Also during his time as Mayor, representatives of Greater Manchester sporting clubs would routinely join business delegations as part of Mayoral international visits.
“This included representatives from Manchester United travelling to Austin and Dublin, Lancashire Cricket Club joining a delegation to India, and Manchester City FC staff supporting visits to China and Japan.”
Featured Image – Lauren Hurley / Number 10 Downing Street (Press Image via Flickr)
Sport
Multiple arrests made for ‘tragedy chanting’ and police officer assault as Man City defeated Liverpool
Emily Sergeant
Multiple people were arrested over the weekend as Manchester City defeated Liverpool in a Premier League clash.
Merseyside Police have confirmed that a total of 10 people were arrested during the policing operation at Liverpool’s home ground of Anfield as they hosted Manchester City on Sunday 11 October.
One man was arrested on suspicion of assaulting a police constable, five were on suspicion of tragedy chanting, one on suspicion of being drunk and disorderly, two for affray, and one on suspicion of throwing items onto the pitch.
Police are now appealing to the public, and are particularly looking to speak to witnesses of the assault of the officer.
At around 6:35pm, as fans left the stadium, a police officer sustained a ‘serious facial injury’ during the arrest of a man on Anfield Road, and was subsequently taken to hospital for treatment but is now recovering at home.
Investigating officers are now conducting enquiries, speaking to witnesses, and analysing CCTV and camera phone footage.
Chief Inspector Leanne Hobin said it’s ‘extremely disappointing’ that an officer has sustained a serious injury while carrying out their duty.
“I hope the arrests send a clear message and act as a deterrent to others,” Chief Inspector Hobin continued. “Anyone who engages in this abhorrent behaviour risks ending up in custody and getting a criminal record.
“Despite the actions of a few, the overwhelming majority of the 60,000 fans in attendance behaved well and I want to thank them for their co-operation.”
Manchester City ended up defeated Liverpool 3-0 during the Premier League clash at Anfield.
Danny Jones -
9th January 2023 
