Just as the three wise men brought offerings of gold, frankincense and myrrh, British supermarkets bring Christmas dinner pizza, Brussels sprouts chocolate rolls, and Yorkshire pudding wraps.
British supermarkets at this time of year are filled with golden nuggets of weird, wonderful and verging on just-plain-wrong specials.
Stumbling across one is a great feeling, and you have to tell everyone.
Let’s face it, if there’s one thing to guarantee a laugh on Christmas day, it’s pulling out a novelty sweet treat, and this year’s selection of supermarket specials will have the in-laws raving about you until Easter.
Our list of the maddest supermarket specials is the middle aisle on steroids.
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Read on to find some truly shocking and not-quite-right inventions. Make sure you read all the way because we crown the wackiest winner at the bottom… trust us, you’ll want to get your hands on this.
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Tiramisu-flavoured Dessert Sauce
Aldi
We learnt quickly when researching this list, Aldi is the King of crazy supermarket goodies.
Specially-selected by Aldi themselves, you can turn anything into tiramisu – a Christmas miracle.
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Think of all the fun you could have with this little flavour machine you could pour over brownies, dip strawberries but promise us you won’t swap it for gravy.
Hold on tight, we’re getting into the slightly darker recesses of Asda here.
A pigs in blanket slice – we’ll leave it for you to decide whether that’s going straight in your basket. Could be good in bread – could not. We’re on the fence about these, but for those who think a cocktail sausage is just not enough, this one’s for you.
Couldn’t think of anything better to go with a cuppa on Christmas day. Marks and Spencer have smashed it out the supermarket with these. Though not weird, they are just really cute and deserve a place on the list because, well, they’re bitesize sticky toffee puddings.
Guaranteed to bring a smile – would you dunk them in the brew though?
Christmas Tinner. A force to be reckoned with. Where to begin. At the top seems the only option, which, by the way, is scrambled egg.
Stuff to make your stomach turn, Christmas Tinner defies all culinary laws.
Scrambled egg and bacon is followed by two mince pies. Then turkey and potatoes, gravy, a layer of bread sauce and cranberry sauce. You’ve got your brussels sprouts with stuffing, roasted carrots and parsnips and, if you make it that far, Christmas pudding.
Wow, buy this and you’ll be the cat that got the squirty chocolate cream. Imagine a dollop on your Christmas eve hot chocolate or just straight down the hatch, the right way.
A simple can of goodness – this one’s sure to be a family favourite.
Yorkshire Pudding Wraps
Morrison’s
Can’t get enough of Porky Pig’s Yorkshire pudding wraps at the Christmas markets?
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No fear – Morrison’s mean you make them at home. Cook from frozen and they are a really tasty Christmas treat. Chicken, stuffing and gravy all wrapped up in a Yorkshire pudding just an oven’s cook away.
Winning combination of one of our favorite puddings, the Vienetta, and an after dinner treat, the infamous After Eight.
The two come together to make the King of all after dinner experiences.
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Try and imagine what that would taste like – all we know is that with those two, you can’t go wrong.
Hershey’s Cookies N Cream Ice Cream Cake
Iceland
Credit: Facebook (Daniel Christopher Chubb)
The alternative Christmas pudding.
Popularity for the Christmas pudding is thinning on the ground, so why not make a new tradition with ice cream cake. It’s cold to represent the frosty weather outside, but has cookies for the warm inside which represents, oh we don’t know, some new traditions just don’t need explaining.
Crowned winner of the most wonderful Christmas specials to grace our humble supermarkets. Marks and Sparks have seriously outdone themselves.
Appearing simply as a domed desert, most people would pass it by as a pretty Christmas cake, but take a hammer to this thing and you unlock Santa’s grotto. Tasty treats lay beneath this dome and it’s only a layer of white chocolate between you and all the sweets you could wish for.
Cracking idea (excuse the pun) and fun for all. Beneath is a creamy Madeira cake filled with buttercream and jam – what’s not to like?
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Featured Image – NewfoodsUK | M&S Tunbridge Wells
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Former Manchester United star Patrice Evra is set to make his MMA debut very soon
Danny Jones
In another somewhat left-field turn of events in the sporting world, ex-Manchester United star Patrice Evra is set to swap his boots for gloves as he prepares to make his MMA debut.
The retired Man United player and French international ended his playing days back in 2019 after a short one-year spell at West Ham, and has mostly worked as a pundit in recent years.
Evra, 43, stunned his millions of followers online and even more football and fight fans alike by announcing he would be trying his hand at combat sports earlier this week.
Hopping on social media to confirm the news, it’s fair to say he’s already relishing the challenge.
The former left-back made 379 appearances for the Red Devils, winning 14 trophies, but this will be his first in the European division of the Professional Fighters League (PFL), the second-biggest promotion in MMA after the UFC.
As far as we know, Evra has little to no background in fighting of any discipline, even if he was used to the more physical side of the game as a defender.
Writing via X on Friday, 25 April, the 2008 Champions League and ’09 Club World Cup winner, said: “I’m officially training for my first fight with PFL Europe. They will pick my opponent… They asked who I wanna face. I said: Luis Suárez.
“I’ll pay out of pocket. He can even bite me.”
Suárez, still playing at 38, was not only found guilty of at least three instances of biting other players but was famously charged with racially abusing Patrice Evra back in 2011, with the two sharing a strong feud ever since.
Now, since the Uruguayan striker is still playing professional football over in the MLS, alongside the one and only Lionel Messi at Inter Miami, we wouldn’t hold our breaths.
Nevertheless, it seems as though he will be fighting someone on 23 May, once an opponent is selected in the coming weeks.
Evra has been training with Cameroonian-French mixed martial artist and friend, Cédric Doumbé, a former kickboxing specialist and now an established fighter in the welterweight class.
Joking aside, although there are a lot of controversial moves that are legal in MMA, biting isn’t one of them – not that it ever stopped the former Liverpool forward in the past.
Speaking in an official press conference, Evra said: “I’ve performed on the world’s biggest stages, won every major trophy in football, but PFL Europe Paris will be an incredibly special night for me.
“I’ve been training alongside the best in the world for years, and they’ll also tell you I’m ready for this. I’m going to put on a show at the Accor Arena on 23 May, so come watch the spectacle.”
As out of the blue as it may seem, he obviously isn’t the only former athlete to have swapped one sport for another after calling time in their first career.
In fact, he’s not even the first United player to change lanes.
Mix-up leaves tourists bound for Peak District on a day trip to… Rochdale
Daisy Jackson
Who needs rolling hills and country pubs when you could have *checks notes* roadworks and charity shops?
Well, that’s the situation two people ended up in recently after a mix-up rerouted their trip to the Peak District to Rochdale, of all places.
Thankfully seeing the funny side, Canadian TikTok creator Mackenzie shared a video of the day trip they got stuck with.
The pair of mates had been planning a trip to the honeypot town of Castleton in the Peak District, but accidentally ended up heading over to Castleton in Rochdale instead.
In the light-hearted clip, she says: “This is just a reminder to read the small print when you want to do a spontaneous trip. Because Margarita and I thought we were going to the Peaks, and this is where we are…” while panning to the sight of some roadworks.
She continued: “We thought we were going to see gorgeous green hills. Nope.
“Anyways, come with us on our Castleton Manchester, not Peak District adventure.”
They visited Springfield Park, went to a pub to eat onion rings (with a random giant dog staring at them), erm… went to a charity shop, and looked at some houses.
Okay so not quite the Peak District paradise they were picturing.
One person commented: “Absolutely howling. Come all the way from America to end up in Rochdale” (Mackenzie stressed in her reply that she lives in Manchester and also, is Canadian).
Another said: “It’s the Springfield park for me”
Someone else suggested: “Rochdale should rename all of its areas to encourage more tourists. Hahah”
Dying to know if these girls ever made it to Castleton, Derbyshire.