Just as the three wise men brought offerings of gold, frankincense and myrrh, British supermarkets bring Christmas dinner pizza, Brussels sprouts chocolate rolls, and Yorkshire pudding wraps.
British supermarkets at this time of year are filled with golden nuggets of weird, wonderful and verging on just-plain-wrong specials.
Stumbling across one is a great feeling, and you have to tell everyone.
Let’s face it, if there’s one thing to guarantee a laugh on Christmas day, it’s pulling out a novelty sweet treat, and this year’s selection of supermarket specials will have the in-laws raving about you until Easter.
Our list of the maddest supermarket specials is the middle aisle on steroids.
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Read on to find some truly shocking and not-quite-right inventions. Make sure you read all the way because we crown the wackiest winner at the bottom… trust us, you’ll want to get your hands on this.
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Tiramisu-flavoured Dessert Sauce
Aldi
We learnt quickly when researching this list, Aldi is the King of crazy supermarket goodies.
Specially-selected by Aldi themselves, you can turn anything into tiramisu – a Christmas miracle.
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Think of all the fun you could have with this little flavour machine you could pour over brownies, dip strawberries but promise us you won’t swap it for gravy.
Hold on tight, we’re getting into the slightly darker recesses of Asda here.
A pigs in blanket slice – we’ll leave it for you to decide whether that’s going straight in your basket. Could be good in bread – could not. We’re on the fence about these, but for those who think a cocktail sausage is just not enough, this one’s for you.
Couldn’t think of anything better to go with a cuppa on Christmas day. Marks and Spencer have smashed it out the supermarket with these. Though not weird, they are just really cute and deserve a place on the list because, well, they’re bitesize sticky toffee puddings.
Guaranteed to bring a smile – would you dunk them in the brew though?
Christmas Tinner. A force to be reckoned with. Where to begin. At the top seems the only option, which, by the way, is scrambled egg.
Stuff to make your stomach turn, Christmas Tinner defies all culinary laws.
Scrambled egg and bacon is followed by two mince pies. Then turkey and potatoes, gravy, a layer of bread sauce and cranberry sauce. You’ve got your brussels sprouts with stuffing, roasted carrots and parsnips and, if you make it that far, Christmas pudding.
Wow, buy this and you’ll be the cat that got the squirty chocolate cream. Imagine a dollop on your Christmas eve hot chocolate or just straight down the hatch, the right way.
A simple can of goodness – this one’s sure to be a family favourite.
Yorkshire Pudding Wraps
Morrison’s
Can’t get enough of Porky Pig’s Yorkshire pudding wraps at the Christmas markets?
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No fear – Morrison’s mean you make them at home. Cook from frozen and they are a really tasty Christmas treat. Chicken, stuffing and gravy all wrapped up in a Yorkshire pudding just an oven’s cook away.
Winning combination of one of our favorite puddings, the Vienetta, and an after dinner treat, the infamous After Eight.
The two come together to make the King of all after dinner experiences.
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Try and imagine what that would taste like – all we know is that with those two, you can’t go wrong.
Hershey’s Cookies N Cream Ice Cream Cake
Iceland
Credit: Facebook (Daniel Christopher Chubb)
The alternative Christmas pudding.
Popularity for the Christmas pudding is thinning on the ground, so why not make a new tradition with ice cream cake. It’s cold to represent the frosty weather outside, but has cookies for the warm inside which represents, oh we don’t know, some new traditions just don’t need explaining.
Crowned winner of the most wonderful Christmas specials to grace our humble supermarkets. Marks and Sparks have seriously outdone themselves.
Appearing simply as a domed desert, most people would pass it by as a pretty Christmas cake, but take a hammer to this thing and you unlock Santa’s grotto. Tasty treats lay beneath this dome and it’s only a layer of white chocolate between you and all the sweets you could wish for.
Cracking idea (excuse the pun) and fun for all. Beneath is a creamy Madeira cake filled with buttercream and jam – what’s not to like?
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Featured Image – NewfoodsUK | M&S Tunbridge Wells
Trending
Didsbury favourite Rustik has confirmed its will sadly be closing this month
Danny Jones
West Didsbury favourite Rustik has sadly announced it will be closing for food after a decade at the end of this month.
The beloved Burton cafe and bar has been a staple of the tight-knit foodie neighbourhood since 2015, but now the independent Irish eatery has confirmed that the business will be shutting down permanently in less than a fortnight.
Confirmed on Wednesday afternoon, 17 September, the casual Manc restaurant and hangout informed their loyal followers of the unfortunate news.
Unsurprisingly, their social media has been awash with condolences, collective sadness and support for the local institution.
Posting across all of their accounts, Rustik wrote: “After an unforgettable 10 years on Burton Road, the time has come to close our doors. It’s hard to believe how far we’ve come — never in a million years did we imagine Rustik would grow into what it became.
“From the bottom of our hearts, thank you to every single one of you who walked through our doors and supported us along the way. We poured everything we had — our time, our energy, our lives into making Rustik a space for everyone. And what a ride it’s been.
“From the chaotic, beautiful brunch shifts to late nights dancing on tables to ‘Wagon Wheel’, pushing through the challenges of COVID and helping our community with meals during hard times— we’ve done it all, together.
“To our amazing staff, past and present: thank you for your hard work, your dedication, and the love you brought every single day. You helped build something truly special, and we’ll never be able to thank you enough.
“To the incredible musicians who filled our space with life — keep doing what you do. The noise complaints? 100% worth the unforgettable nights.”
The team go on to detail that the official closing date is Tuesday, 30 September, reiterating that it is “business running as usual until then” and urging fans to “come down, grab your last Rustik fix, and raise a glass with us one final time.”
Signing off with an emotional farewell, they add: “Lastly, a message close to our hearts: please support your local cafes, bars, and independents. Hospitality is tough right now, and they need your support more than ever.
“Thank you for the most incredible decade of our lives. It’s over and out from us.”
It goes without saying that we’re gutted to see Rustik go and know how much it meant not only to the Burton Road community, but also to the Didsbury community, Chorlton and many other Greater Manchester natives.
Review | Villanelle debut: Liam Gallagher’s son’s band release their first track – here’s our review
Danny Jones
Liam Gallagher’s son, Gene, and his band Villanelle, have officially released their debut single to the masses, and since we’re still very much immersing ourselves in everything even remotely to do with Oasis, we thought we’d give this first track a review.
Now, if you’re expecting a familiar Britpop vibe like his dad and uncle used to bash out back in the day, you’d be very wrong…
It’s one thing to settle into something similar to what you’ve grown up around and try to continue a lineage if you’re from a successful family – especially with a legacy as important and influential as the one left by Liam and Noel – but we’re glad to report they’ve done something pretty different.
24-year-old Gene Gallagher and his bandmates Ben Taylor (guitar), Jack Schiavo (bass), and Andrew Richmond (drums) haven’t just tried to do an impression of Oasis; instead, they’ve found their own sound, and while it does give somewhat of an old-school flavour, it’s not what we expected.
It takes literally milliseconds for you to click into realising the vibe they’re going for.
‘Hinge’ is a simplistic but hard-hitting, grungey and dark debut from Villanelle, who, despite having played a number of in-progress songs live over the last year or so, have only just dropped their first studio single.
In fact, they’ve actually taken the admittedly bizarre and unorthodox first steps of having already played live with Liam Gallagher on the Definitely Maybe 30th anniversary tour before they actually released anything people can easily listen to outside of their live performances.
Nevertheless, the young four-piece introduces Villanelle as the latest post-punk outfit amidst the ongoing revival of the classic rock genre.
That is to say that punk is a tried and true classic style of music, not that these lads are trying to sound like The Rolling Stones…
Anyway, we’re getting sidetracked: Villanelle draw plenty of influences from both original and contemporary examples of this sonic subculture, and while it isn’t explosive per se, ‘Hinge’ is short, direct and hits the same formulaic notes.
It’s also fair to say you can hear a bit of the recognisable LG whine in Gene’s vocals at times, too. Listen to it in full down below and see if you agree.
Even the basic found-footage style video fits into the same category.
To call it straightforward isn’t intended as any kind of a diss, by the way – some of our favourite tunes and best artists spearheading the renaissance of the punk scene write like this.
What we will say is that it looks like bloody good fun to both play and listen to in a small, sweaty room, with plenty of pits and people bouncing off the walls.
Gallagher Sr. might be surprised to see his son going for a slightly heavier, more hardcore route with his sound, but he can’t accuse him of forgetting his roots as the child of a ‘Rock ‘N’ Roll Star.’
The boys are actually hitting the road this winter, including a date at The Castle Hotel in the Northern Quarter, if you fancy grabbing a ticket.
You can grab your tickets to see Villanelle on tour HERE, and in the meantime, let us know what you think of their debut track down in the comments.
Dolly Busby -
17th December 2021 
