The person behind the bizarre and hilarious ‘Angry Beetham’ Twitter account has announced that the page will be retired, after they suffered a stroke that has left them with ‘permanent damage’.
For 10 years, the witty parody account has been shouting and screaming across the Twittersphere, claiming to be the voice of Manchester’s landmark Beetham Tower.
The huge skyscraper, which famously hums when the wind picks up, has recently shared insights such as ‘MATT HANCOCK, BEETHAM SEND YOU MILLION BOULDERS VIA WHATSAPP. GRAAAAAAAAGH’ and ‘STAY HOME THIS WEEK. ANGRY TOWER ON LOOSE.’.
But today marks the end of the much-loved social media account, after its mystery admin revealed themselves and gave a health update.
On Twitter, the comedian, writer and artist known as Fat Roland said: “Hello. My name is @FatRoland and I have been running the Angry Beetham account since, well, forever. It is sadly time to retire the account. All is explained in the link.
ADVERTISEMENT
“SERIOUS? Yes, serious, Beethy.
“It has been so much fun running this account over the years. Such great followers and, hidden from you, sooo many laughs from me. You are all an absolute joy.
ADVERTISEMENT
“Weird thing is, I don’t have an angry bone in my body. It can be such an impotent emotion, and when mapped onto such an incongruous, singular building, makes for a fun Twitter account.
Hello. My name is @FatRoland and I have been running the Angry Beetham account since, well, forever. It is sadly time to retire the account. All is explained in the link.
“Anyway. So long and thanks for all the laser smashes and boulder bashes. GRRRRRR.”
Fat Roland has shared a lengthy blog post in which he detailed that he has suffered a stroke that has made reading very difficult, forcing the Angry Beetham account into extinction.
ADVERTISEMENT
He said that he had been at a gig in Manchester (Plaid, at Gorilla), when he noticed several disorientating symptoms and felt like his ‘head was exploding’.
Three days later, and Fat Roland was diagnosed as having had a stroke, which has left him suffering hallucinations.
He wrote on his blog: “The stroke has destroyed half of my eyesight. In true surrealist Fat Roland style, the missing halves are the right section of each eye. Because eyes dart about and the brain is clever, I don’t have black spots. I can see everything. But if my brain hasn’t received full information about a section of what I’m looking at, it makes things up. This causes hallucinations.
A sample of the Angry Beetham Twitter account. Credit: Twitter, @angrybeetham
“I have looked into the twilight sky and seen a hospital floating mid-air, in full detail. I have seen imaginary crows flapping around the edges of my vision. I have seen a cheerful dog on a lead being walked by a bush because my brain couldn’t register the difference between a dog owner and shrubbery. A quick dart of the eyes, and my visual register filled in the correct information. I think my brain is having far too much fun with this.”
He then went on to explain that he’d ‘lost the ability to laterally scan text’, which has made running Angry Beetham too much of a challenge.
ADVERTISEMENT
Fat Roland wrote: “The damage is permanent. The fried part of my brain will never be unfried. But I’m confident about recovery as I begin what feels like Life Part Two.
“I will be slowly integrating back into my role at the brilliant Burgess Foundation. My work with Electronic Sound will continue, although for now will be restrained to a slightly shorter column. I’m sure I will cartoon again, although I may need to learn new techniques. I will likely have to give up running my F1 Losers League because there’s too much detailed spreadsheet and website work.
“And because casual social media browsing is no longer viable, I am retiring the @AngryBeetham Twitter account which I have been secretly running for ten years.”
Dozens of messages of support have been flooding in today, including one person who wrote: “So long and thanks for the lasers. Wishing you best for the future.”
Another person said: “Farewell Manchester’s greatest Twitter account, I’ll never not see the tower as AB now. Who can forget his ill-fated Valentine date with a tent? Or the time he threatened to roll GMex on its back like a beetle? All the best for your recovery @FatRoland and thanks for the laughs.”
ADVERTISEMENT
And the reverse parody account of Happy Beetham shared: “Thank you for always being my better half AB.”
So that’s it. The days of Angry Beetham are officially over. Thank you Fat Roland for a decade of silly, delightful, very angry fun.
Authentic pizza restaurant Proloco to open inside luxury Manchester apartment building
Lydia Mastrolonardo
A new modern pizza restaurant is coming to town – say hello to Proloco.
Opening inside One Port Street in the city centre, Proloco is set to have a seasonal menu and a weekly rotating selection of sharing plates, gelato made in-house daily, and pizzas crafted with ingredients from local suppliers across the North West, as well as the best quality tomatoes and oil imported from Italy – naturally. Have we said all of your buzz words yet?
Sharing a chef with Honest Crust Sourdough Pizza too, it’s guaranteed to be good.
Priding themselves on fantastic food, unfussy drinks, outstanding hospitality, and a love for music – which is at the heart of everything – Proloco will be a welcomed addition to the city.
Some of the seasonal dishes currently available include succulent grilled lamb chops with anchoïade, salt-baked beetroot with ricotta and dill, and radicchio agrodolce with stracciatella.
CGIs of Proloco, set to open in Manchester city centre / Credit: Supplied
The main event – being their selection of 18-inch pizzas, of course – includes one with porchetta, whipped potato, and fennel pie, charred seasonal greens with anchovy pie and a tomato butter pie with marjoram.
Finally, the question on everyone’s lips – the drinks list. You can expect honest wines, locally sourced quality beer, aperitivi, and the star of the show, their £7 Negronis. No, we can’t wait either.
“Proloco is about cooking food I genuinely love with the best people and produce around me,” commented co-founder, Richard Carver. “I want it to feel effortless – warm, a little bit fun, and always worth coming back to.”
Manchester’s food scene truly does just keep getting better and better.
You can sign up for Proloco’s soft launch information at www.proloco.uk, or follow their progress at @proloco.mcr.
Featured Image – Supplied
City Centre
Coffee Rules: The Greek-born cafe that’s gone on to become a beloved Greater Manchester brand
Danny Jones
It’s rare that you find a place in an already saturated food and drink scene like Greater Manchester’s that genuinely comes across like a local community cornerstone, but that’s exactly what we got when we visited Coffee Rules in Salford.
We went for a brew, one of those viral iced coffee we’ve seen on socials, and maybe a nice bite to eat – but we left with much more and the impression that these lot are onto something big.
Opened in Arta back in their home country (also up in the northwest, by the way), they’ve never struggled to get queues out the door, and it’s no different here. This one is run by two siblings, 23-year-old Thomas and his younger brother Marios, 30, who have been smashing it since 2023.
Since launching their growing UK brand in the likes of The Meadows neighbourhood – one of two they have in the city of Salford alone, the other being Swinton – they’ve brought the lines with them. With authentic Greek food and drink like this, it’s not hard to see why.
They’ve now expanded to more than eight sites total, including one still keeping their own local reputation alive over in Athens, and this looks to be just the beginning.
Having not only spread across the ten boroughs but further out into the region with their Liverpool locations as well as a Yorkshire stronghold up in Sheffield, there’s more to come from Coffee Rules, both in terms of premises and their plans to take on the rest of the brunch game and beyond.
Suburban Mancs may have already seen the regular midday and weekend crowds that pack out their Chorlton venue, the Rusholme one is often filled with fresh-faced uni students in need of their caffeine fix, and it’s an increasingly similar story for those based in Bolton.
Or maybe you’re one of the many people based in Manchester city centre, who nip to their quiet, tucked-away corner of Ancoats for a fresh bake or even to have your eye caught by some of their merch with that modern mythological-inspired logo.
Whichever one happens to be closest to you, you’ll have the same satisfying experience, from sipping on speciality coffee and the scran, to the service and all-around atmosphere.
They’re also about to start hosting board game nights over at their Salford site, where they’ll be making the most of their large terrace with plenty of seating, which also has the added bonus of a retracted pergola – perfect for sunny days or simply sheltering from the Manc rain.
One thing we also noticed was just how many locals not only popped in throughout our time there, but the sheer number that had chosen to start their day at this particular spot.
There’s a regular Greek crowd, of course, but there’s also the native Salfordian and those currently residing in and around the up-and-coming area, who were pulling up in the large car park and taking a pew, or even those just looking for quick and top-quality grab-and-go stuff.
In fact, it’s one of the quickest venues we’ve seen fill up that fast in a hot, Med minute.
Speaking of, whether it be one of their superb Spanish lattes, or the equally sweet, sultry and viral ‘Freddo Cappuccino’, or their traditional spanakopita, not to mention their many Mediterranean pastry variations, there’s a big call for pretty much everything on the menu.
We could go on at length in listing what impressed us about just this one Coffee Rules branch, and we’ve made many trips to their Chorlton one in the past already, but it’s probably best that we just urge you to give it a try sometime soon. Trust us, you won’t be disappointed.
This is one of the fastest-growing franchises in the UK, and it’s no wonder they keep pulling in plaudits and invites to bigger and better industry within the industry as time goes on events over the past few years.
Oh, and one more thing, there’s plenty of savoury stuff that you’ll likely fall in love with, but we highly reccommend ordering the red velvet. Wow…
Daisy Jackson -
3rd May 2023 
