The person behind the bizarre and hilarious ‘Angry Beetham’ Twitter account has announced that the page will be retired, after they suffered a stroke that has left them with ‘permanent damage’.
For 10 years, the witty parody account has been shouting and screaming across the Twittersphere, claiming to be the voice of Manchester’s landmark Beetham Tower.
The huge skyscraper, which famously hums when the wind picks up, has recently shared insights such as ‘MATT HANCOCK, BEETHAM SEND YOU MILLION BOULDERS VIA WHATSAPP. GRAAAAAAAAGH’ and ‘STAY HOME THIS WEEK. ANGRY TOWER ON LOOSE.’.
But today marks the end of the much-loved social media account, after its mystery admin revealed themselves and gave a health update.
On Twitter, the comedian, writer and artist known as Fat Roland said: “Hello. My name is @FatRoland and I have been running the Angry Beetham account since, well, forever. It is sadly time to retire the account. All is explained in the link.
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“SERIOUS? Yes, serious, Beethy.
“It has been so much fun running this account over the years. Such great followers and, hidden from you, sooo many laughs from me. You are all an absolute joy.
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“Weird thing is, I don’t have an angry bone in my body. It can be such an impotent emotion, and when mapped onto such an incongruous, singular building, makes for a fun Twitter account.
Hello. My name is @FatRoland and I have been running the Angry Beetham account since, well, forever. It is sadly time to retire the account. All is explained in the link.
“Anyway. So long and thanks for all the laser smashes and boulder bashes. GRRRRRR.”
Fat Roland has shared a lengthy blog post in which he detailed that he has suffered a stroke that has made reading very difficult, forcing the Angry Beetham account into extinction.
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He said that he had been at a gig in Manchester (Plaid, at Gorilla), when he noticed several disorientating symptoms and felt like his ‘head was exploding’.
Three days later, and Fat Roland was diagnosed as having had a stroke, which has left him suffering hallucinations.
He wrote on his blog: “The stroke has destroyed half of my eyesight. In true surrealist Fat Roland style, the missing halves are the right section of each eye. Because eyes dart about and the brain is clever, I don’t have black spots. I can see everything. But if my brain hasn’t received full information about a section of what I’m looking at, it makes things up. This causes hallucinations.
A sample of the Angry Beetham Twitter account. Credit: Twitter, @angrybeetham
“I have looked into the twilight sky and seen a hospital floating mid-air, in full detail. I have seen imaginary crows flapping around the edges of my vision. I have seen a cheerful dog on a lead being walked by a bush because my brain couldn’t register the difference between a dog owner and shrubbery. A quick dart of the eyes, and my visual register filled in the correct information. I think my brain is having far too much fun with this.”
He then went on to explain that he’d ‘lost the ability to laterally scan text’, which has made running Angry Beetham too much of a challenge.
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Fat Roland wrote: “The damage is permanent. The fried part of my brain will never be unfried. But I’m confident about recovery as I begin what feels like Life Part Two.
“I will be slowly integrating back into my role at the brilliant Burgess Foundation. My work with Electronic Sound will continue, although for now will be restrained to a slightly shorter column. I’m sure I will cartoon again, although I may need to learn new techniques. I will likely have to give up running my F1 Losers League because there’s too much detailed spreadsheet and website work.
“And because casual social media browsing is no longer viable, I am retiring the @AngryBeetham Twitter account which I have been secretly running for ten years.”
Dozens of messages of support have been flooding in today, including one person who wrote: “So long and thanks for the lasers. Wishing you best for the future.”
Another person said: “Farewell Manchester’s greatest Twitter account, I’ll never not see the tower as AB now. Who can forget his ill-fated Valentine date with a tent? Or the time he threatened to roll GMex on its back like a beetle? All the best for your recovery @FatRoland and thanks for the laughs.”
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And the reverse parody account of Happy Beetham shared: “Thank you for always being my better half AB.”
So that’s it. The days of Angry Beetham are officially over. Thank you Fat Roland for a decade of silly, delightful, very angry fun.
One of Manchester’s newest arts venues to host brand-new comedy festival this summer
Emily Sergeant
A brand-new comedy festival is set to take over one of the city centre’s newest arts venues this summer.
That’s right… some of the UK’s best comedy names are coming to Manchester.
That’s because renowned production company, A Lovely Time, has put together an absolutely jam-packed lineup of television names, internet sensations, and hotly-tipped newcomers, for a weekend full of comedy shows in the heart of the city centre at the exciting new arts venue Fairfield Social Club – which is tucked away down at the Green Quarter.
The exciting new festival, which is called A Lovely Weekend, will kick off on Friday 7 June with a gala show hosted by the company’s very-own Amy Gledhill, who comedy fans may recognise from appearances on BBC‘s Would I Lie To You, and more.
Then, across the rest of the three-day long weekend lineup, you can expect to catch comedy sets and work-in-progress performances from the likes of Edinburgh Comedy Award nominees Phil Ellis (Icklewick FM on BBC Radio 4), and Olga Koch (Live at The Apollo on BBC One), Paddy Young, who recently won the BBC New Comedy Award, Chris Cantrill (Avoidance on BBC One), and Blackpool’s-finest Tom Lawrinson.
Internet sensations such as Stevie Martin and Abi Clarke are also on the lineup, as well as hotly-tipped Edinburgh debutante, Hannah Platt, and Geordie sketch supergroup, Metroland.
You can even catch something a little bit different from Poppy Hillstead too, who’s set to transfer her popular podcast to the stage.
One of Manchester’s newest arts venues is set to host a brand-new comedy festival this summer / Credit: @see_hef (via A Lovely Time on Instagram)
Split across two venues over three days, A Lovely Weekend is all looking set to be the largest undertaking from comedy production super-duo, A Lovely Time, which was created by promoter John Stansfield and comedian Chris Cantrill, and, as mentioned, it will take over the newly-opened Fairfield Social Club – a venue which has already hosted brilliant shows from the likes of Josie Long, Three Bean Salad, Ashley Gavin, and Nick Helm since opening back in March.
“We’re so excited to be bringing A Lovely Weekend to Manchester,” commented founder, John Stansfield.
“The city is long overdue a proper comedy festival, and across the three days at Fairfield Social Club, we’ve programmed some of our absolute favourites to ensure a lovely time for all.”
Tickets to A Lovely Weekend have just gone on sale yesterday (Wednesday 1 November), and are already selling fast – with both day and full weekend passes available from £20, and individual show tickets up for grabs from £6 each too.
Manchester’s new Instagrammable coffee shop is giving away FREE drinks tomorrow
Emily Sergeant
One of Manchester’s newest Instagrammable coffee shops is giving away free drinks tomorrow ahead of the bank holiday weekend.
With another long weekend right around the corner, and much of Greater Manchester and the UK fortunately looking set to bask in the springtime heat, popular coffee chain, Blank Street – which is one of Manchester city centre’s newest residents, with two sites in Piccadilly Gardens, and on the corner of King Street and Cross Street – has decided it wants to help the country “beat the 3pm slump”.
Ahead of the upcoming bank holiday weekend, the chain is inviting Mancs to “meet for matcha” tomorrow afternoon (Friday 3 May).
The exciting freebie offer is all said to be “inspired by data” that shows that almost half of office workers aren’t taking a break from their desks during the day, even despite research showing that this can boost productivity.
Hundreds of iced matcha lattes will be served up at Blank Street‘s Manchester branch on the corner of King Street and Cross Street between 3pm and 4pm tomorrow.
Manchester’s new Instagrammable coffee shop is giving away free drinks tomorrow / Credit: Blank Street
For anyone “ice cold pick-me-up ahead of the long weekend”, but keen not to tip their employers off, the coffee shop chain has created an online tool to allow workers to discreetly add a matcha moment to their diary.
The brand-new online tool will apparently help to “distract calendar snoopers” by creating a cleverly-named meeting and adding it automatically to Outlook, Google, or Apple calendars – with potential meeting titles that include plenty of corporate jargon to “provide the perfect alibi”.
So, all matcha fans need to do tomorrow afternoon is show the Blank Street team at their chosen branch a meeting in their calendar, and in return, they’ll receive a free small iced matcha latte of their choice from the chain’s delicious spring menu.
Blank Street’s popular matcha offering includes the Classic Matcha, the viral Blueberry Matcha, the silky-smooth White Chocolate Matcha, and the brand-new sumptuous Golden Matcha, so there’s something to “inspire every matcha lover to take a little time out”.
As matcha allows a slow release of caffeine, Blank Street says it’s the “perfect drink” to keep energy levels up throughout the afternoon when you’re stuck at your desk on a Friday.
Daisy Jackson -
3rd May 2023 
