Bad jokes are even worse hiders. You can always find them lurking in the two same places.
They’re either tucked away inside Christmas crackers, ready to leap out and scream a painful pun across the dinner table.
Or, they’re skulking inside the inner folds of a Penguin chocolate bar.
As tasty as these McVitie’s treats might be, Penguins have earned a bigger reputation for the head-smackingly bad puns and ridiculous dad humour printed on their wrappers.
But, if you’ve always been the kind of person who finds Penguin jokes to be something of a guilty pleasure, there’s a competition you should know about.
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This month, you might actually get your own gag printed on a Penguin and earn a place in humour’s Hall of Shame.
Get your joke on a Penguin! ? Calling all aspiring jokesters and punsters, McVitie’s Penguin wants your help to refresh the jokes for next year. Use #PenguinJokes to submit your entry. Entry closes on the 13th September. T&Cs apply: https://t.co/CggHUosrkmpic.twitter.com/3Xcy70Fh6i
It’s gonna have to be a whopper of a joke to make the cut, so be sure to practice on your friends and family.
If some groan and others try desperately not to giggle, you could be onto a winner…
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The UK’s top 10 biggest Christmas ‘icks’ have been revealed
Emily Sergeant
The UK’s top 10 biggest Christmas ‘icks’ have been revealed, according to the results from a hilarious new survey.
Christmas may be the most wonderful time of the year, but it can also have its fair share of icks.
From tinsel on the tree, to cheesy Christmas jumpers, and everything in between, there are plenty of Christmas traditions that we simply love, and some we love to hate – and now, new research conducted by online retailer Haypp ahead of the festive season has revealed exactly what it is that Brits find the ickiest.
The research reveals that the number one ick is a controversial one – putting ketchup on a Christmas dinner, as nearly a third of respondents (32%) claim it makes them feel grim and that they’d judge someone for it.
Wearing Christmas jumpers is one of the UK’s biggest Christmas ‘icks’ Credit: Julia Larson (via Pexels)
It may cause controversy in a few households nationwide, the second biggest ‘ick’ is adults in matching festive pyjamas, with just under a third of Brits cringing, while some of the other similar traditions to this on the list being family photo Christmas cards, and wearing Christmas jumpers in public.
Elsewhere on the list, it was revealed that 27% of Brits find it unbearable to talk about politics over dinner, and lots of us don’t like it when others watch us open presents.
Around 18% also can’t stand it when people argue over festive games.
The UK’s top 10 Christmas ‘icks’
Having tomato ketchup on your Christmas dinner – 32%
Adults in matching pyjamas – 29.2%
Talking politics during dinner – 27.9%
Undoing your trousers at the dinner table – 24.4%
Leaving the dinner table to smoke – 23.2%
Everyone watching you open your presents – 20.4%
Being hungover on Christmas Day – 19.5%
Arguing over a game – 18.1%
Family photo Christmas cards – 15.2%
Wearing Christmas jumpers – 13.2%
Bad habits at the dinner table also feature heavily on the list, as a quarter of Brits hate it when people undo their trousers after the Christmas meal, and just over a fifth find it rude when someone leaves the table to go and smoke.
What’s your take then? How many of these ‘icks’ do you agree with? Are there any others you feel need adding to the list?
Featured Image – Karolina Grabowska (via Pexels)
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Five of the best things to watch on TV this Christmas 2024
Emily Sergeant
We all know Christmas is a hectic time.
For some of us, if the run-up to Christmas wasn’t already busy enough as it is, there’s often not a moment to breathe on the big day itself between presents being opened, travelling to see people, entertaining guests, slaving over a hot stove for hours, and eating plenty of food.
Sometimes though, you may find yourself twiddling your thumbs with some time to spare, and that’s why the distraction of festive television is so brilliant.
For others, sitting around to watch the TV is an important part of Christmas itself.
No matter what your situation is, there’s some cracking things to watch on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day this year – with classic seasonal films, to festive specials of our favourite shows, and a few family-friendly additions all on the agenda.
Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special 2024 / Credit: BBC
We’ve all come to expect a Strictly Come Dancing Christmas special at this point, haven’t we? After the iconic ballroom dance competition programme has been bringing us smaller, festive editions of the show we all know and love since 2004, it’s back once again this Christmas Day.
Six celebrity contestants will be taking to the floor to impress judges the judges and battle it out for the Christmas glitter ball trophy.
You can catch Strictly Come Dancing on BBC One at 3:55pm on Christmas Day.
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Doctor Who Christmas Special
BBC One
Christmas Day – 5:10pm
Doctor Who Christmas Special / Credit: BBC Studios
What would Christmas be without a Doctor Who special?
The long-running sci-fi series is back where it belongs with another festive episode on Christmas Day this year, and we can’t wait.
The episode introduces Joy, played by Nicola Coughlan, who checks into a London hotel in 2024, only to discover that her quiet stay is anything but ordinary. When Joy opens a secret doorway to the Time Hotel, she discovers danger, dinosaurs, and the Doctor… but a deadly plan is unfolding across Earth, just in time for Christmas.
You can catch the Doctor Who Christmas Special on BBC One at 5:10pm on Christmas Day.
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Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl
BBC One
Christmas Day – 6:10pm
Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl / Credit: BBC
Wallace & Gromit make their long-awaited return with a new feature-length adventure.
Wallace and his pre-programmed smart gnome, Norbot, are the main suspects after a recent crime wave of stolen garden goods across the region… but while Wallace proclaims his innocence, it’s up to Gromit once again to battle sinister forces, or Wallace will never invent again.
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Who could possibly be behind such evil actions? Rightfully behind bars after all this time, Feathers McGraw is back with vengeance.
Directed by Nick Park, Reece Shearsmith provides the voice of Norbot, and Peter Kay is Chief Inspector Macintosh, alongside other famous names such as Diane Morgan, Adjoa Andoh, and Lenny Henry.
You can watch Wallace & Gromit: Most Vengeance Fowl on BBC One at 6:10pm on Christmas Day.
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Gavin & Stacey: The Finale
BBC One
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Christmas Day – 9pm
Gavin & Stacey: The Finale / Credit: BBC
9pm. Christmas Day 2024. The end of an era is here.
It’s been five whole years since we left Nessa down on one knee declaring her love for Smithy and asking him to marry her… and a lot has happened in those five years.
This Christmas, fans of the long-running sitcome will be able to join on the journey to Barry and Billericay as we catch up with the Shipmans and the Wests for the very last time, and maybe find out what exactly did happen on that fishing trip.
You can watch Gavin and Stacey: The Finale on Christmas Day on BBC One at 9pm.
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Outnumbered
BBC One
Boxing Day – 9:40pm
Outnumbered / Credit: BBC
Our final long-awaited Christmas Special comeback is here… are you ready to be Outnumbered once again?
In a moment of adversity, Sue and Pete gather all their children – who are now adults, and have their own hurdles to navigate in the real world – and one grandchild to try to celebrate a traditional family Christmas.
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Their new house is smaller, the children are bigger, and within the chaos, an uninvited house guest overstays their welcome.
You can watch Outnumbered on Boxing Day on BBC One at 9:40pm.
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Fancy something extra?
If you’ve got even more time on your hands to kill, and you’re looking to get stuck into even more festive TV action, not just being newly released this year, then we’ve rounded up what we think are 10 of the best Christmas Specials of all time.
The Manc -
3rd September 2020 
