Do you have fond memories of your school dinners, or did they scar you for life so much that you’ve tried to erase them from your memory ever since?
We have to admit that they make us nostalgic whatever way though.
In the week that Bernard Matthews officially announced the #ComebackOfTheCentury in the return of cult-classic school dinner food – the Turkey Twizzler – we thought there is no better time to take a trip down memory lane and have a look back at what was put on our multi-coloured plastic divider trays at lunch time as kids.
Both the retro and the slightly more modern options – we’ll always remember our school dinners.
This list of course isn’t definitive of every school dinner at every primary and secondary school across Greater Manchester spanning multiple decades, so don’t get too enraged if we’ve missed off your favourite food from back in the day.
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These are some of the classics though.
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Turkey Twizzlers
Bernard Matthews
Could we really start this list with anything else?
Before they were ripped from the menu for being too unhealthy for kids by chef Jamie Oliver in 2005, and then manufacturing ceased all together a few years later, Turkey Twizzlers pretty much summed up school dinners.
Why is it that all school dinners, especially primary school dinners, came drenched in beans?
And when we say drenched, we don’t just mean on the side of your plate where you expect them to be, we mean drenched. Baked beans are a classic accompaniment to any meal here in the UK, but perhaps none more so than at school.
We’re not complaining though.
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Cheese Whirls
That soggy cheesy/potato pastry combination will forever be ingrained in our minds.
If it wasn’t a cheese whirl served up at your school, then it was a slice of cheese pie, or perhaps some sort of cheese flan instead.
Whatever way, it was definitely soggy.
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Pasta King
Pasta King
One for the 00s-10s secondary school/college students out there – Pasta King.
Despite the fact it was about 75% water at the bottom and it always left you questioning why it couldn’t have just been drained out first, Pasta King was still a top-tier edition to the lunch time menu.
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Turkey Dinosaurs
If it wasn’t Turkey Twizzlers, then it was Turkey Dinosaurs.
They’re still made by manufacturers Bernard Matthews to this day, but probably don’t make their way onto school dinner plates quite as often. They never got quite as bad of a rep as Turkey Twizzlers, but maybe that’s because Jamie Oliver just didn’t want to force the turkey kind of dinosaurs into extinction after the real ones already had.
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Shout out to the other classic school dinner foods of potato smiley faces, spaghetti hoops and chips in the picture too.
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Crinkle-Cut Carrots
The carrots were always cut like this.
Why? Was it to make them look a little more exciting and appealing to kids? We’ve no idea.
The only thing we can guess at is that they’re probably bought cut like that in the packet, because we’ve never seen a carrot grow in that shape.
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School Dinner Sponge
Need we say more?
There’s perhaps no other school dinner dessert that was so well-loved by all than the classic ‘School Dinner Sponge Cake’ with the icing and multi-coloured sprinkles, and even to this day, people all across the UK are trying their hands at recreating the recipe at home.
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Angel Delight
AKA pink custard
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It was commonly known by kids as the ‘pink custard’, but is that really what it was? According to the Angel Delight packaging, it’s just described as a “dessert”, which really doesn’t give much away at all.
Not that it matters though – Angel Delight was a welcomed addition to any school dinner menu.
There are also multiple other flavours in the Angel Delight range, including chocolate, banana and butterscotch, but strawberry seemed to be the winner with lunch staff in schools and for that reason, it will always be known as ‘pink custard’.
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Arctic Roll
Arctic Roll / Birds Eye
You knew it was a good day when Arctic Roll was on the menu.
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We’re not really sure why it was such a taste combination revelation because in theory, it really shouldn’t work should it? And yes, nine times out of ten the cake was really dry, but we loved it anyway.
If ice cream and cake is an acceptable choice, then why not just stick the ice cream in the cake?
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Choc Ices
Choc Ices – who can forget that paper-thin blue and white striped packet?
In contradiction to the excitement you felt when Arctic Roll was on the menu, Choc Ices always just seemed to be a bit of a let down, didn’t they? Like a cop-out dessert chosen at the last minute, but looking back now though, we probably gave them a bit of a hard time.
A Choc Ice would go down quite well right about now.
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Tailgaters and middle lane hoggers warned to change their ‘dangerous’ driving style
Emily Sergeant
A warning has been issued to tailgaters and motorway middle lane hoggers urging them to change their ‘dangerous’ driving style.
Do you find yourself guilty of two of the biggest driving sins from time to time?
Well, according to the latest figures released by National Highways, one in three motorists have admitted to middle lane hogging in their lives, while one in four have committed acts of tailgating on some of the UK’s fastest roads.
These shocking survey findings – which were released back in early March as the Government-owned road management company launched a new campaign – showed that lane hogging was among the behaviours that are most likely to cause motorists and passengers to feel ‘frustrated’, and tailgating was most likely to cause feelings of unease, stress, and anxiety.
Nearly a third (32%) of drivers admitted to lane hogging ‘at least occasionally’ while driving on England’s motorways and major A roads, according to the survey – which polled 2,500 adults between the ages of 16-75.
On top of this, almost seven in ten adults in England (67%) said close following or tailgating is a ‘serious problem’ on these types of roads, but nearly a quarter (23%) admitted to doing it from time to time.
Tut-tut.
Tailgaters and middle lane hoggers have been warned to change their ‘dangerous’ driving style (Credit: IPTC/Ronald Hudson)
It’s these very statistics which have led National Highways to issue an urgent warning that calls on these motorists to “carefully consider” their driving habits, as “little changes can change everything”.
Lane hogging and tailgating both fall under the offence of ‘careless driving’ in England, with the country’s police forces having the power to hand out on-the-spot fines of £100 and three penalty points to those who commit such offences.
“Middle lane hogging and tailgating are far more than mere annoyances for drivers,” warned RAC road safety spokesperson, Rod Dennis, adding that these actions “put everyone on the roads at risk.”
If you’re too close to the vehicle in front, you’re tailgating. This is very dangerous and could lead to a collision. Always leave at least a two-second gap and make sure you follow the advice from The Highway Code.
He continued in his reaction to the release of the latest National Highways figures: “Closely following another motorist could easily result in a serious collision should the driver ahead need to brake sharply for any reason, so the fact nearly one in four drivers admitted to doing so on some of England’s fastest and busiest roads is frightening”.
Mr Dennis said he understands that offenders “might find these habits hard to kick”, but that’s why the urgent calls for motorists to make changes are “so important”.
“By understanding that how we choose to drive affects others, we can each make a real difference to the safety of our roads,” he concluded.
Paddy McGuinness admits he thinks Bolton is ‘still in Lancashire’ not Greater Manchester
Emily Sergeant
Paddy McGuinness has admitted that he believes “Bolton still falls under Lancashire” and not Greater Manchester.
The famous comedian and TV presenter – who was born and raised in Farnworth in 1973, back when it genuinely was still categorised as Lancashire – made the somewhat controversial declaration to his millions of followers on Instagram this week as he shared some pictures of himself that are currently featuring as part of a photography exhibition.
McGuinness is one of dozens of local famous faces forming part of the ‘Greater Mancunians’ project by The Manchester College.
150 students have participated in the landmark photography project – which is currently on display down at Manchester Central Library’s Main Exhibition Hall – and it features images of some of Manchester’s most famous and influential people shot at numerous locations across the city.
Noel Gallagher, Johnny Marr, Ricky Hatton, Andy Burnham, Angela Rayner, Maxine Peake, Jonathan Warburton, and Professor Erinma Bell MBE are among the 100 contributors featured in the project, alongside McGuinness.
The 50-year-old, who is most well-known for his acting and presenting roles in Phoenix Nights, Max and Paddy’s Road To Nowhere, Take Me Out, and Top Gear, says it was “a real honour” to be featured in the exhibition.
McGuinness wrote on Instagram: “It was a real honour to take part in the Greater Mancunians project with the students at The Manchester College. The exhibition is full of people from music, comedy, politics, poetry, television, medicine and beyond.”
He then said it’s “well worth popping in if you’re in town”, before dropping the final Bolton-related bombshell: “PS, I’m still saying Bolton falls under Lancashire.”
In case you’re unfamiliar with the borough’s history, Bolton was considered to be a part of Lancashire until Greater Manchester was formally established all the way back on 1 April 1974 – but still to this day, the town is located within the historic county boundaries of Lancashire.
Paddy McGuinness admits he thinks Bolton is ‘still in Lancashire’, not Greater Manchester (Credit: Wikimedia Commons)
After making the bold claim about Bolton’s geographical location, McGuinness has been met with praise and has received hundreds of comments from other Bolton and wider Greater Manchester residents agreeing with him and sharing their similar opinions under the post.
“I think they should redefine Lancashire back to its old borders, it would bring unity to the area and create a northern powerhouse,” one person commented.
Another fan wrote: “Bolton will always be in Lancashire for me”, while a third commented: “ALWAYS Lancashire. Can’t move land boundaries, they’re not pieces of paper,” a fourth shared a similar sentiment: “They can tell us we’re Greater Manchester, but I know Im a Lancashire lass,” and a fifth added: “Lancashire all the way lad.”
“BOLTON WILL ALWAYS BE LANCASHIRE,” another clearly strong-viewed comment reads.
Emily Sergeant -
18th August 2020 
