Someone has helpfully shared a behind-the-scenes peek of Wetherspoons’ chip-measuring methods, including daily staff ‘grab tests’ and the pub chain’s ‘official chip scoop’.
A post on the Wetherspoons Paltry Chip Count Facebook group appears to reveal the company’s policies surrounding the proper portion size.
The group was created last year but has surged in popularity recently.
Almost a quarter of a million people are now taking part in the chip count, posting photos of their Spoons meals.
The official chip guidance in Wetherspoons / Credit: Facebook – Wetherspoons Paltry Chip Count
The results have varied wildly across the country and between pubs, with counts ranging between 10 and 41 fries.
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While it seems like it comes down to luck, there are rules that Wetherspoons chefs are supposed to be following.
One group member has shared a ‘Love your chips’ poster from a wall in a Spoons venue, which outlines a surprisingly lengthy guide to creating and serving the perfect portion.
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Of the Dos and Don’ts listed, instructions include, “Don’t use anything other than an official chip scoop” and “Follow the oil management guidelines.”
Wetherspoons Paltry Chip Count boasts almost 250,000 active members / Credit: Facebook (Wetherspoons Paltry Chip Count)
A highlight of the document says: “At the start of the shift, ensure all team members perform a grab test on a standard 275g portion and record this in the Kitchen DMLB,” suggested that Spoons chefs are subjected to portioning drills.
The correct portion size is supposed to be 275g for adults, and 150g for children, measured while frozen.
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The chips are supposed to be cooked for three minutes and 15 seconds, made to order, as ‘customers want hot, fresh chips every time’.
Responding to the post, one person said: “I think they need to add the W0840 chip scoop to the app, so we can buy a scoop to measure the portions correctly for reporting back on Facebook.”
Someone else commented: “Having worked in the kitchen in a spoons in the past – I can promise you, this will get ignored the f*** out of.”
Another comment reads: “This is some serious through the looking glass s***. Prime content, would recommend to a friend A+++++.”
Featured Image – Wetherspoons / Facebook (Wetherspoons Paltry Chip Count)
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Fans are preparing to pay tribute to Mani from The Stone Roses ahead of his funeral service
Danny Jones
Stone Roses fans and Greater Manchester locals alike are getting ready to pay their respects to the late, great, Gary ‘Mani’ Mounfield, following his tragic passing last month.
As well as details surrounding his funeral being announced earlier this week, the iconic Manc musician’s cause of death has also finally been revealed.
While Hatton’s service featured a high-profile cortège which started all the way from his hometown of Hyde, past multiple landmarks and ending at the Etihad Stadium, those local to Mani’s family home on the edge of Stockport are also being welcomed to help send him off.
It's the funeral of Mani of the Stone Roses on the 22nd. He lived locally. This poster is asking people to line the route of his funeral cortege to "show that he truly was adored". pic.twitter.com/X0DYHl10Hp
He had been struggling with emphysema for some time; he was declared dead at his home in the suburb of Heaton Moor, and is said to have died peacefully in his sleep.
As you can see from the posters put in various places around the area, residents wishing to pay their own tributes to Mani before his private funeral service at Manchester Cathedral are encouraged to line the long street leading down from St Paul’s and Heaton Moor United Church as he heads towards the city.
Departing Parsonage Road from 10am on Monday, 22 December, before turning right onto Heaton Moor Rd, then Wellington and eventually on to the Cathedral, you can expect plenty of people to show up.
One of those people will be his former bandmate and another influential guitarist, John Squire, who is one of many famous musical names to have honoured him in their own way over the last few weeks.
Other members of The Stone Roses, as well as Primal Scream (who he joined in 1996), are expected to join the close family and friends at the service itself.
Nevertheless, we have no doubt that plenty will be observing the funeral in their own way.
So, for those of you also looking to honour him, you know what to do; and to quote the poster itself, “together we can show this local legend and his family that he was truly adored.”
The best Christmas party food and picky bits from M&S this year
Daisy Jackson
Clear the tables, pop the oven on to pre-heat, and set the paper plates – it’s Christmas, and that can only mean it’s party food season again.
No one does silly little festive nibbles quite like M&S, with their Christmas party food range getting more and more extravagant every single winter.
2025 is absolutely no exception – expect the likes of cubed rice, snowman-shaped bao, tiny Yorkie puds and plenty more delicious madness besides.
We’ve been down in the aisles of everyone’s favourite posh supermarket to see exactly what concoctions they’ve conjured up this year, and did not leave disappointed.
This is not just party food, this is M&S Christmas party food.
A very Marbella Christmas
Have you ever seen a square paella before? No? You haven’t lived mate.
These angular rice bites are one of three Spanish-influenced picky bits in M&S this Christmas, alongside tiny tortillas and patatas bravas stacks (tiny potato rostis topped with tomato sauce and chorizo then served with a garlic sauce on the side).
Don’t be put off by the hot pink prawn curled up on the rice bed like a dog that’s been bought a bed two sizes too small…
A little fishy on a little dishy
Everyone knows that the M&S salmon and potato salad is one of their most elite items, so those hot smoked salmon rosti bites are going STRAIGHT in my basket.
If you like your fish dishes really bite-sized, there’s also the smoked salmon appetisers that look like they’ve been lifted right out of a 1960s cookbook.
And of course, tiger prawns wrapped in various shapes and sizes of pastry, too.
Jingle baos
If you’d told me three years ago that bao would become a staple on every posh Christmas buffet, I’d have sent you to the hospital.
But they’re back for a third year in a new novelty festive shape, and this time, M&S has gone to new heights.
Presenting – double decker bao in the shape of a snowman, complete with cosy green scarf and a veggie pad Thai filling.
Some of them look like they’ve been through the wars, don’t they?
Pam Shipman would buy these
If you’re not a Gavin & Stacey fan, just imagine the following section being read aloud by a flapping (ideally Essex) mother with a fresh blowdry and a waft of YSL Libra about her.
“Those, Bryn, are M&S mushroom vol-oh-vohnts.”
“A little goat cheese tart for you, Smithy?” (“Who you calling a tart Pamelarrr you minx!”)
Basically, these are the posh little nibbles your mums will gravitate towards to show off their hosting gravitas.
Merry Texmexmas
M&S always seems to lean over to the States for inspiration for its party food and this year is no different.
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They’ve got a real Tex-Mex flavour going on in 2025, with Christmas party food including mini vegetable tacos filled with peppers and sweetcorn.
There are also those impossible-to-eat-why-are-you-sliding-everywhere miniature beef burgers, back to piss me off for another year.
Ee by gum it must be Christmas
‘Ey up! Has M&S recruited an actual Northerner to help put together the party food for Christmas this year?!
We all know the deal with British pub food – a little bit stodgy, very comforting, and incredibly filling. Okay, now picture that, but not remotely filling.
M&S has brought back a couple of its miniature bites inspired by classic British fare – pies that fit in the palm of your hand (beef and ale, or chicken and leek), and Yorkshire puddings so small they must’ve been baked in a cupcake tin. Cute.
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The most important picky bit of the day
Whether or not to bother with breakfast on Christmas morning seems to be a bit of a hot topic – what’s the point in a bowl of cornflakes when you’re readying to slam the biggest meal of the year in a matter of hours?
Well, M&S is making sure the most important meal of the day infiltrates all the way through to party time with these two.
A stack of miniature pancakes and slivers of bacon, plus pint-sized ham and cheese croissants. Has anyone ever handed you a croissant on a dancefloor before? This might be the year.
Better than your mum’s turkey curry
Oh now we’re cooking with tandoor! Not one, but two picky bits inspired by Britain’s national dish – curry. And the most British curry of all, a chicken tikka masala.
For Christmas this year M&S has created the world’s smallest naan breads, which are topped with tikka chicken and pickled pink onions.
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And in the other hand, there are spiced potato and spinach dosa rolls, which we have literally never seen on any buffet spread before ever, but sure.
Get it before it’s scone
If your hand impulsively twitches towards a Christmas sandwich every time you’re shopping for a meal deal, get a load of this – tiny mini turkey feast toasties. Yay!
These tiny square sarnies have got pulled turkey, stuffing, ham hock, Emmental cheese, cranberry sauce AND gravy in them, somehow. When did M&S unlock a cheat code to overcome sandwich physics?
There are also miniature mature Barber’s cheddar scones, with honey and mustard pulled ham inside. They sound like a sheer winner.
That’s not a hambush, it’s a charcutertree!
Oh, look who’s back to make a mockery of your flat cheese board again. It’s the Christmas Charcuter-tree. Sigh.
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Real fancy people present their cured meat and cheese selection in the shape of a Christmas tree (obviously) and M&S have got a build-you-own kit available for £23 (that’s actually two quid cheaper than last year).
I can only begin to imagine the meltdown I’d have as another piece of salami refused to act like tinsel and unravelled onto the table.
Daisy Jackson -
17th November 2021 
