Marc White, manager of National League side Dorking Wanderers FC, has gone viral after his brutally honest and downright hilarious assessment of his team’s performance against Oldham Athletic.
Some top-notch casual cussing, here.
White was speaking to the club’s official YouTube channel after his side’s hefty 5-1 defeat to the Latics on Saturday, 7 January, and didn’t mince his words for one second.
Although David Unsworth’s team put on an impressive display, with striker Karl Mike Fondop Talom bagging a hattrick as the Greater Manchester outfit cruised to victory, the Dorking manager not only praised the opposition but also went fully in on his own players.
Here’s just a taste. Tell us how you really feel, Marc…
The 49-year-old coach and founder of the ever-ascending semi-pro team kicked off the no-nonsense appraisal of his team by breaking down things into the simplest terms possible: “Well, from our perspective, obviously sh*t.”
We appreciate your brevity, Marc.
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After making sure to thank the Dorking fans for their “loyalty” and for “getting behind the team”, as well as giving a “big thanks to the Oldham fans for getting piss wet through”, White wasted no time digging into his squad.
He summed up the root cause just as succinctly: “Oldham won 5-1 because we’re sh*t at defending”. Penny for the centre-half’s thoughts right now.
Here’s his rant in full.
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We counted at least six references to ‘sh*t’ and or ‘piss’. Just under one a minute.
As you can see, he also had very little time for the referees on the day, insisting that the “officials were so bad it was unbelievable.
“I’ve got to say, honestly, they should pack it in — literally pack in doing what they do”. He really wasn’t letting anyone off the hook.”
He went on to argue that the National League should get rid of what he perceived as an obstructive over-reliance on headsets, describing the refs as appalling and akin to “Domino’s drivers all talking to each other” to the point that the first official “can’t ref his own game anymore”.
While we can only sympathise with the Dorking players who are undoubtedly in for a rough week of training and equally hilarious bollockings, we’re just glad we got to better familiarise ourselves with a straight-talking manager as they’re an increasingly rare commodity these days.
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Sitting 16th in the standings, Dorking face Kidderminster Harriers in the FA Trophy on Saturday, 14 January and travel to 21st-placed Gateshead for their next league game next week.
Part-time or not, White and his men will no doubt be hoping to get back to winning ways against two very beatable prospects.
For now, you can watch the full Dorking vs Oldham highlights down below. We’re sure Oldham fans will be happy more than to.
A League Of Their Own LIVE is coming to Manchester
Danny Jones
The inaugural live tour version of A League Of Their Own Live Tour is heading out across the UK, with a big Manchester show booked on the list of dates.
For fans of the hit sports-based TV show on Sky, this will be the first time ever that the A League Of Their Own (ALOTO) cast will be presenting, performing and cracking plenty of jokes in front of a proper live audience.
There’s no stopping and resetting to get the shot with this production: just them and the crowds up and down the country – we know you won’t let the side down, Manchester.
Booking one of the city’s biggest and most storied live entertainment spaces, we have every faith they’ll make it a night to remember.
A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN LIVE TOUR
The hit TV show announces its first-ever live arena tour! Hosted by Jamie Redknapp!
As you can see, already confirmed to be taking part in the live adaptation of the panel show are regular co-hosts Jamie Redknapp and Jill Scott, as well as some of the big names.
In addition to famous former sports personalities like Manchester United defender Patrice Evra and ex-boxer Tony Bellew, they will also be joined by comedians Tom Davies and Maisie Adam.
Massive football fans themselves, who have both been part of the ALOTO cast in the past, it’s a funny lineup, for sure.
While the main presenter, Romesh Ranganathan, has not been confirmed as part of the touring crew, it’s worth noting that the lineup could change closer to the time. We wouldn’t be surprised if they have some special guests up their sleeves for one or two of the shows, either…
Please let us see ‘Wazza’ roped in to recreate this moment:
Speaking of the dates, you can see all the shows – including the Manchester this coming autumn – currently announced down below:
A League Of Their Own Live Tour dates – 2026
Friday, 4 September – M&S Bank Arena, Liverpool
Saturday, 5 September – AO Arena, Manchester
Tuesday, 8 September – OVO Arena Wembley, London
Friday, 11 September – Utilita Arena, Newcastle upon Tyne
Monday, 14 September – bp pulse LIVE, Birmingham
Thursday, 17 September – OVO Hydro, Glasgow
As detailed above, early access can be enjoyed either for Three Mobile members or via the venue’s official presale window, which opens at 10am this Thursday, 30 April.
Meanwhile, general admission tickets go live at the same time the following Friday (1 May); you can get ready to grab yours right HERE.
Featured Images — Publicity pictures (supplied via AO Arena)
Sport
John Stones is leaving Manchester City after a decade
Danny Jones
Manchester City defender John Stones has revealed he will be leaving after nearly a full decade in sky blue at the end of the season.
The England and Man City defender has lifted pretty much everything there is to win at club level, being part of the ‘Centurions’, Treble-winning and four-in-a-row sides.
John Stones signed for City back in August of 2016 and has gone on to be part of their greatest-ever period of success under Pep Guardiola, not to mention becoming a mainstay in the national team during that time.
Sharing a moving video on social media, announced the decision that will see him depart after the best part of 10 years this summer.
Having made nearly 300 appearances for the Cityzens, he will leave the Etihad as one of their most decorated players, with a tally of 19 major trophies, the same number of goals and nine assists during his time with the club.
That being said, depending on how the remainder of this 2025/26 campaign goes, all of those stats could improve even further.
Writing in an official statement of their own, Man City went on to say: “Armed with wonderful technique, a sublime passing range allied to a superb work rate and astute reading of the game, Stones was in many ways the very embodiment of Pep Guardiola’s City.
“Such was his natural talent and tactical flexibility that Stones’ City career later saw him often deployed in a hybrid role, which saw him move into the middle of the City engine room to great effect, not least in the 2023 UEFA Champions League final…”
He is now set to leave as a free agent this June.
John Stones will leave Manchester City in the summer, bringing an end to a memorable and hugely successful ten-year stay.
They sign off by adding that “the Club and all of our supporters will take the time to deliver a fitting tribute and farewell to a superb servant of Manchester City Football Club at the end of the season.”
Following rumours of his departure in recent weeks and months, a number of clubs across Europe are already thought to have expressed interest in a transfer for the 31-year-old.
Some of the names floating around the Yorkshire-born centre-back’s signature include AC Milan and Bayern Munich; there have even been some hints at Everton attempting to re-sign him.
Where does he rank among your favourite City stars of all-time, Blues?
Danny Jones -
9th January 2023 
