The most talked about movie of the year, Cocaine Bear might be the best-worst idea for a film we’ve ever heard. Nevertheless, people have been obsessed with it ever since it was announced.
As it turns out, that obsession may have been warranted as, according to Rotten Tomatoes, Cocaine Bear might actually be… good?
Now, we know there are a lot of ‘good-bad’ films within this prevailing sci-fi horror-comedy genre that so many people like to spend their free time watching: Sharknado, Zombeavers, Sharktopus; Piranhaconda, Sand Sharks, Arachnoquake, Dinoshark—basically, there’s usually a shark involved.
However, Cocaine Bear in particular has managed to capture the imagination of millions and while many might have been preparing to like this film for all the wrong reasons, now the reviews are in it seems as though people are just generally enjoying it for the “hilarious”, “outrageous”, “ridiculous” romp that it is.
Cocaine Bear is gory, fun as hell, packed with hilarious grotesque kills and over-the-top characters, and at 90-ish minutes, it’s paced near perfectly and never overstays its welcome or overdoses on the joke.
As well as some pretty good scores from outlets across the board, Cocaine Bear not only managed to debut as ‘certified fresh’ on Rotten Tomatoes but after the first batch of user reviews and even half a dozen critics, it actually landed a perfect score of 100%.
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Obviously, this wasn’t going to last forever and this thing isn’t Citizen Kane; it soon slipped down to 88% and now, after a little over a week since its release, it has ultimately levelled out at 74% in terms of audience score and a 69% on the official Tomatometer — because of course it had to be that number.
With a rather impressive cast behind it, including Keri Russell, O’Shea Jackson Jr, Alden Ehrenreich and even Ray Liotta’s final performance before his tragic passing, not to mention comedy veteran Elizabeth Banks’ third feature film as director, there was plenty of added appeal to grab a ticket.
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But perhaps one of the main selling points behind this crazy cocaine-fuelled comedy is that it’s actually based on a true story. Sort of…
That’s right, this unbelievable script is loosely inspired by the bizarre 1985 story of a 175lb black bear that stumbled across a sweet-smelling suspicious package in the woods after a smuggler’s shipment was dropped mid-flight as his plane ultimately crashed into a mountain in North Carolina.
The pilot himself was found dead in someone’s back garden in Knoxville, Texas after presumably jumping from the plane but as for the 70 pounds of cocaine — estimated to be worth around $15 million — they landed in a forest in Georgia where the bear just so happened to come across the drug-filled duffel bag.
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After apparently consuming around $2m worth of the contents, the animal was dubbed ‘Pablo Eskobear’ and his unbelievable tale went on to become a Hollywood movie script.
Safe to say, people were sold on it the second they heard the words ‘cocaine’ and ‘bear’ in the same sentence.
Do I have to see Paddington 1 and 2 to understand Cocaine Bear?
Full disclosure, this legend is in the film but he’s still got a point.
So, the question is, how accurate is this utterly batsh*t story? Well, not very, but by all accounts, it is a hilarious, action-packed depiction of an extremely unlikely situation.
The actual story of poor Pablo was that after ingesting seriously excessive amounts of cocaine, he sadly overdosed shortly after and did not go on to take part in a murderous rampage like in the movie.
When you strip back the undeniably comedic element behind this utterly nonsensical film, it’s actually quite a sad story that ended up claiming the life of an innocent animal.
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In fact, Banks herself said that despite seeing the obvious potential in the script, she said she felt sorry for the bear who wound up as “collateral damage in the crazy war on drugs” and wanted to tell a more “uplifting version of that story”. For her, the bear isn’t the villain: he’s the hero (at least in spirit, anyway).
Regardless of the vague air of controversy behind it, Cocaine Bear has gone on to become a box office hit, grossing over $38m worldwide in its first week alone, all through sheerly embracing its own ridiculousness.
The film is doing so well in fact that it’s spawned its own line of highly collectable Funko POP! bobbleheads and there’s already talk of sequels and spin-offs, with Banks reportedly more than willing to take on what many people have labelled as a spiritual successor in the making, ‘Cocaine Shark‘.
Two words: yes and yes.
‘Cocaine Bear’ director Elizabeth Banks says she would be interested in directing ‘COCAINE SHARK’ based on the recent true story.
Jamie Carragher fires back at journalist after being turned away from Etihad away end
Danny Jones
Jamie Carragher has fired back at a tabloid journalist after he reported on the ex-footballer being turned away from the Borussia Dortmund away end during their meeting against Manchester City at the Etihad Stadium this week.
The former Liverpool and England player was reporting on the Champions League match as part of his usual ‘Golazo’ duties for the US on Wednesday, 5 November, and was hoping to join in with travelling fans during the game.
Carragher became part of the ‘yellow wall’ last year during their UCL fixture against Chelsea, being adopted as a Dortmund supporter for the day, but was not granted the same privilege upon arriving at the Etihad this time around.
Daily Mail journalist Mike Keegan wrote a piece explaining how the working presenter was turned away due to safety concerns raised by security at Man City, but the 47-year-old has now given his own retort.
Just trying to have a good time with the Dortmund fans Mike, it was no problem it wasn’t allowed. Next time message me & I’ll tell you all you need to know, rather than Simon at Man City giving you a story. Probably explains why you’re so sympathetic around the 115 charges.
As you can see, the retired defender turned Sky Sports and CBS pundit was less than pleased with the piece, clarifying that there was “no problem” over the decision, asking instead why he didn’t contact him directly for a comment.
In addition to seemingly naming names, he also couldn’t resist the urge as a rival Red to take a jab at City’s ever-looming FFP breaches, suggesting that the outlet has been somewhat biased in its coverage of the ongoing saga.
However, Keegan didn’t let the spat pass without his own right of reply.
Reacting directly underneath the response, the sports writer added: “I already knew the facts, Jamie, but you clearly don’t.
“Next time you’re covering a game at City, you should probably apologise to Simon for wrongly accusing him of being the source on the story.”
Either way, this is as far as Carragher got on his way to the ground:
While it is still unclear as to who exactly ‘Carra’ and Keegan are referring to in their exchange, many have speculated that it could be Simon Pearce: a non-executive director at the club and part of the CFG (City Football Group) board; he has been tied to the ongoing allegations of financial deception.
Onto the action pitchside, not only did scoring machine Erling Haaland come back to haunt his former team once again, but the Blues ran, maybe not riot, but much closer to their vintage best, with Stockport’s very own bagging a brace and Rayan Cherki scoring his first UCL goal under Pep Guardiola.
A Queer Eye favourite is bringing his first-ever UK comedy tour here to Manchester
Danny Jones
A much-loved member of the Queer Eye cast is set to embark on his debut UK comedy tour and is bringing his live stand-up gig to Manchester crowds.
If you’ve ever seen the successful Netflix reboot of the original Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, which aired its first season back in 2003, you’ll know that one of the biggest characters on the show is Jonathan Van Ness.
Known as the grooming expert on the series, Van Ness is just as popular a TV personality among fans as he is on the programme and in the entertainment industry itself.
He’s also got a pretty decent funny bone on him, too, and we’re glad to see he’s finally bringing his comic chops across the pond.
This is by no means the first time ‘JvN’ has leaned into the comedic side of his talents, having previously worked on the cult favourite digital web series Gay of Thrones, as well as his own Netflix documentary, Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness, which also has plenty of humour.
It’s also not his inaugural hour of stand-up either, as he released his maiden special, Fun & Slutty with Jonathan Van Ness, in his hometown of Austin, Texas, this past December.
Since then, he’s also started his own podcast called Getting Better with Jonathan Van Ness – available via BBC Sounds – which also features a fair few jokes every week.
Put simply, the 38-year-old hairstylist and presenter is much more than that: he’s becoming an increasingly convincing jack of all trades, and we’re absolutely here for it.
You can hear the kind of material he last put out down below.
My first live comedy special is here! Mom worked so hard on this and is so excited to share her with you! You can watch her now on @Veeps: https://t.co/1i0vLvuT02 (on web, TV app, mobile, wherever!!) Plz share, watch w friends, tell your friends!! pic.twitter.com/b9n8PcmrfO
Speaking of his multi-talentedness, the Emmy-winning television personality, three-time New York Times best-selling author, podcaster, founder of JVN Hair AND now comedian might be one of the most prolific public figures on the planet at the moment.
He’s already sold out two critically acclaimed global tours, and with a whole new raft of European dates now announced, Jonathan’s UK and Ireland leg is sure to do the same.
Danny Jones -
5th March 2023 
