Marc White, manager of National League side Dorking Wanderers FC, has gone viral after his brutally honest and downright hilarious assessment of his team’s performance against Oldham Athletic.
Some top-notch casual cussing, here.
White was speaking to the club’s official YouTube channel after his side’s hefty 5-1 defeat to the Latics on Saturday, 7 January, and didn’t mince his words for one second.
Although David Unsworth’s team put on an impressive display, with striker Karl Mike Fondop Talom bagging a hattrick as the Greater Manchester outfit cruised to victory, the Dorking manager not only praised the opposition but also went fully in on his own players.
Here’s just a taste. Tell us how you really feel, Marc…
The 49-year-old coach and founder of the ever-ascending semi-pro team kicked off the no-nonsense appraisal of his team by breaking down things into the simplest terms possible: “Well, from our perspective, obviously sh*t.”
We appreciate your brevity, Marc.
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After making sure to thank the Dorking fans for their “loyalty” and for “getting behind the team”, as well as giving a “big thanks to the Oldham fans for getting piss wet through”, White wasted no time digging into his squad.
He summed up the root cause just as succinctly: “Oldham won 5-1 because we’re sh*t at defending”. Penny for the centre-half’s thoughts right now.
Here’s his rant in full.
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We counted at least six references to ‘sh*t’ and or ‘piss’. Just under one a minute.
As you can see, he also had very little time for the referees on the day, insisting that the “officials were so bad it was unbelievable.
“I’ve got to say, honestly, they should pack it in — literally pack in doing what they do”. He really wasn’t letting anyone off the hook.”
He went on to argue that the National League should get rid of what he perceived as an obstructive over-reliance on headsets, describing the refs as appalling and akin to “Domino’s drivers all talking to each other” to the point that the first official “can’t ref his own game anymore”.
While we can only sympathise with the Dorking players who are undoubtedly in for a rough week of training and equally hilarious bollockings, we’re just glad we got to better familiarise ourselves with a straight-talking manager as they’re an increasingly rare commodity these days.
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Sitting 16th in the standings, Dorking face Kidderminster Harriers in the FA Trophy on Saturday, 14 January and travel to 21st-placed Gateshead for their next league game next week.
Part-time or not, White and his men will no doubt be hoping to get back to winning ways against two very beatable prospects.
For now, you can watch the full Dorking vs Oldham highlights down below. We’re sure Oldham fans will be happy more than to.
Scott Carson reveals important behind-the-scenes role at Manchester City
Danny Jones
Recently retired goalkeeper Scott Carson has revealed the unsung but important role he had behind the scenes during his time at Manchester City.
The 40-year-old ex-pro called time on his playing career after more than two decades and six years in sky blue, having made just two appearances for the club during a period in which they won 11 trophies.
Carson officially hung up his gloves on 23 October 2025, following his contract expiration, and since then has found himself carrying out a number of interviews, including one with Fozcast, hosted by another fellow shotstopper who spent time in Manchester, Ben Foster.
While lots of people have joked that he did very little to earn the flurry of medals so late in his career, or at the very least theorised as to what he actually did behind the scenes, he’s now been more open than ever about the largely sidelined spell.
🗣️ "When people had to be serious, they were serious"
Scott Carson reveals what it was like working under Pep Guardiola at Manchester City. pic.twitter.com/HZGjVkrso0
Sitting down with Sky Sports, the Cumbrian keeper confirmed that initially it was, indeed, just a case of serving as not even as a rotation option but a back-up third choice.
Nevertheless, he’s an experienced veteran with 11 different teams on his CV, including Leeds United, Liverpool and Sheffield Wednesday – though only a handful of games for each – as well as half a century of appearances at Wigan Athletic before his longest stints at the likes of West Brom and Derby County.
While this job usually involves purely training, helping keep other players sharp, he says that after settling into the Etihad Campus a little more, he found himself performing a much more influential, albeit largely unsung, role in the background.
Getting validation from manager Pep Guardiola that the side “needed more of that”, he essentially ended up providing valuable seniority and motivation amongst the group, despite only playing a couple of times.
Bidding farewell to the Whitehaven-born cult hero, the club wrote: “During his time at City, Carson has been praised by goalkeeping coach Xabi Mancisidor and peers Ederson and Stefan Ortega Moreno for his work ethic and the effect of his positive attitude amongst the group.”
Speaking about Guardiola specifically, he hailed the Catalan coach for having overhauled modern football in this country, as well as giving him the secondary task of supporting his teammates, be it via boosting morale and ‘picking up’ those left frustrated by matchday selection.
As well as noting his widely publicised detail-oriented nature, he also made a point of recognising that Pep himself was “evolving each season”, whether or not everyone else saw it.
In short, he said he has helped improve the quality of the Premier League and, more specifically, that he helped redefine what a goalkeeper can be in the division.
You can watch the rest of the interview in full down below.
Manchester set to host five UEFA EURO 2028 matches – including England’s opening game
Emily Sergeant
Manchester has been confirmed to be the host of five matches at the upcoming UEFA EURO tournament in 2028.
This also, crucially, would include England‘s opening match, should they qualify directly.
The joint announcement by Manchester City and Manchester City Council today comes as UEFA has now released key details about the UK & Ireland 2028 competition – which, as it stands, is less than 1,000 days away.
It has been confirmed that the Etihad Stadium – which is known as The City of Manchester Stadium when not relating to Manchester City football club – will host four Group Stage matches across four different groups, offering both local and international football fans the chance to see a range of different national teams in action.
On top of this, Manchester will also be the host a Round of 16 knockout match as the tournament progresses.
UEFA EURO 2028 will kick off at the National Stadium of Wales in Cardiff on Friday 9 June 2028, culminating in the Final at Wembley Stadium on Sunday 9 July 2028.
Across the UK and Ireland, nine stadiums will host matches during the upcoming tournament – with other northern stadiums including Everton Stadium in Liverpool, and St James’ Park over in Newcastle.
More than three million tickets – as sold by UEFA – are set to be available for the tournament, and more information on this will be issued in due course.
Following an independent assessment, UEFA EURO 2028 is expected to generate up to £3.6 billion in socio-economic benefits for the UK and Ireland between 2028 and 2031, with benefits including job creation, regional growth, and direct spending from international visitors.
The countdown has started in Manchester for #EURO2028!
Five matches are scheduled to be played here – including England's opener if they qualify – and more than 300,000 fans will be welcomed to the city in June 2028.
Danny Jones -
9th January 2023 
