Marc White, manager of National League side Dorking Wanderers FC, has gone viral after his brutally honest and downright hilarious assessment of his team’s performance against Oldham Athletic.
Some top-notch casual cussing, here.
White was speaking to the club’s official YouTube channel after his side’s hefty 5-1 defeat to the Latics on Saturday, 7 January, and didn’t mince his words for one second.
Although David Unsworth’s team put on an impressive display, with striker Karl Mike Fondop Talom bagging a hattrick as the Greater Manchester outfit cruised to victory, the Dorking manager not only praised the opposition but also went fully in on his own players.
Here’s just a taste. Tell us how you really feel, Marc…
The 49-year-old coach and founder of the ever-ascending semi-pro team kicked off the no-nonsense appraisal of his team by breaking down things into the simplest terms possible: “Well, from our perspective, obviously sh*t.”
We appreciate your brevity, Marc.
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After making sure to thank the Dorking fans for their “loyalty” and for “getting behind the team”, as well as giving a “big thanks to the Oldham fans for getting piss wet through”, White wasted no time digging into his squad.
He summed up the root cause just as succinctly: “Oldham won 5-1 because we’re sh*t at defending”. Penny for the centre-half’s thoughts right now.
Here’s his rant in full.
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We counted at least six references to ‘sh*t’ and or ‘piss’. Just under one a minute.
As you can see, he also had very little time for the referees on the day, insisting that the “officials were so bad it was unbelievable.
“I’ve got to say, honestly, they should pack it in — literally pack in doing what they do”. He really wasn’t letting anyone off the hook.”
He went on to argue that the National League should get rid of what he perceived as an obstructive over-reliance on headsets, describing the refs as appalling and akin to “Domino’s drivers all talking to each other” to the point that the first official “can’t ref his own game anymore”.
While we can only sympathise with the Dorking players who are undoubtedly in for a rough week of training and equally hilarious bollockings, we’re just glad we got to better familiarise ourselves with a straight-talking manager as they’re an increasingly rare commodity these days.
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Sitting 16th in the standings, Dorking face Kidderminster Harriers in the FA Trophy on Saturday, 14 January and travel to 21st-placed Gateshead for their next league game next week.
Part-time or not, White and his men will no doubt be hoping to get back to winning ways against two very beatable prospects.
For now, you can watch the full Dorking vs Oldham highlights down below. We’re sure Oldham fans will be happy more than to.
Cheshire Police said in a statement: “Police are investigating two deaths on behalf of the coroner following a multiple collision at Oulton Park this afternoon (Monday 5 May).
“Emergency services were called to the scene following the collision which resulted in two riders being fatally injured and another with serious injuries.
“Due to the severity of the incident and ongoing medical intervention, the remainder of the event was cancelled.
“The two riders who sadly died have been named as Owen Jenner (21) and Shane Richardson (29).”
Ole Gunnar Solskjær says just three players have spoken to him since leaving Manchester United
Danny Jones
Club legend and ex-Manchester United player turned manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjær, has revealed that just three of his former players have been in touch since leaving Old Trafford.
Solskjær was sacked from the role as Man United head coach back in November 2021 after having been given the job permanently following an impressive winning run as interim manager.
The practically perfect start back at the helm of the club – where he starred as the ‘super sub’ during his playing days – was followed by a big slump, and the final decision was ultimately made in the wake of a 4-1 loss to Watford.
However, the ‘Baby-Faced Assassin’s’ popularity among the players and the fans alike was never in question, so it’s come as somewhat of a surprise to many fans that Solskjær has said only a specific trio of United players have got in touch with him since his dream job came to an end.
At least two of the names read out might not surprise fans, as not only was then-club captain Harry Maguire one of his first statement signings, but so was Bruno Fernandes, who now has the armband, and both have remained key players and leadership figures pretty much ever since.
Speaking to BBC Sport on the senior duo, Ole said, “For me, Harry has always been a leader and a fighter”, and never had any doubts about him deputising for him on the pitch, before going on to label both the centre-back and Bruno as “top human beings.”
As for the third, although Victor Lindelöf looks set to leave the club this summer, he’s actually been a long-serving squad member, having joined back in 2017 and been a seemingly popular figure around the dressing room, even if injury problems have sometimes hampered his minutes.
He also went on to discuss other matters regarding the club, including confessing that it’s “hard to watch” United amidst their present struggles, both under previous manager Erik ten Hag and now Ruben Amorim – even with a potential Europa League trophy consolation on the cards.
The retired striker also stated that he found the decision to let midfielder Scott McTominay go more than surprising, especially given the incredible performances he’s put on display since moving to Serie A.
Danny Jones -
9th January 2023 
