We recently caught wind of a pretty intriguing and world-leading medical facility that’s just opened up in the UK and, yes, it’s a sperm bank that just so happens to be right here in Manchester.
Come on, we were hardly going to ignore this one.
Cryos International, the world’s largest sperm and egg bank based in Denmark but with locations all over the world, has just opened up outside of the city centre and we recently got an insight into what it’s like working there from a local staff member.
28-year-old Clinical Andrologist, Hannah Staples from Warrington, has just started work at the cutting-edge clinic in Rutherford House on the Manchester Science Park and has lifted the lid on the quirk of her fairly hands-on job (pardon the pun).
Meet Hannah (Credit: Cryos International)
Hannah gets involved in everything from the nitty-gritty of freezing sperm itself, welcoming nervous first-time donors and even setting up VR goggles for, you know, the naughty stuff.
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We’d call it NSFW but, technically, this is her work.
But it’s not all just tittering and innuendos; as a clinical andrologist, Hannah is an expert in men’s reproductive health, dealing with issues like fertility, hormone levels, and sexual function, as well as just making clients comfortable coming through the door — damn it, we’ve done it again…
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No, but seriously, Hannah and the Cryos team are on a mission to change Britain’s stuffy perceptions of sperm donation, whilst making things accessible and discreet in their sterile medical environments balanced with gentle lighting and cosy soft furnishings.
Credit: Cryos Manchester
Opening up on her experience at the facility, Hannah says, “Discussing my work was actually how I started my first date with my now-partner.
“Can you imagine telling someone you’ve just met, you work in a sperm bank or a fertility clinic? He was like, ‘I’m sorry, what was that?’
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“Most people are shocked when I tell them what I do, a lot of people even ask me to repeat myself before asking a load of questions like ‘What does sperm look like?'”
She also explained how her days involve greeting donors upon entry, ensuring the centrifuges are set correctly and the actual process of freezing and thawing samples accordingly, as well as logging into porn platforms before setting up the VR headset for the day.
According to the latest stats from the fertility world, VR porn can improve the quality and increase total sperm count by up to 50%, with Cryos offering a premium PornHub subscription.
“People think it’s seedy, 100%, expecting to be ushered into a dark room”, Hannah added, “but, that’s not the case at all. We’re committed to helping people achieve their dreams of starting their own family.
“Whether you’ve donated before or are shaking with nerves before your first appointment, we’re here to put everyone at ease and provide all the support and information you could require.”
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Moreover, the centre is committed to diversity in its visitors, welcoming applications from men of all ethnic backgrounds between the ages of 18 and 45, especially with donations at an all-time low. On the other hand, births from sperm donation have tripled since the turn of the millennium and more people are seeing it as a viable option for welcoming children into the world.
Founded back in 1987, Cryos is continuing to help people start families in more than 100 countries across the globe, boasting the highest number of registered pregnancies in the world. You can find out more about their Manchester sperm and egg bank HERE.
Morrissey: Johnny Marr now has ‘100%’ of The Smiths rights to tour without him – and one potential replacement is trending
Danny Jones
Morrissey has come out to claim that former bandmate Johnny Marr now holds all the rights to The Smiths and their music, even stating that he can now go on and tour without him – and there’s already a very big name being floating around for his replacement.
Yes, as per Mr ‘Bigmouth Strikes Again’ himself, the co-songwriter and lead guitarist recently acquired “100% trademark rights/intellectual property” despite Morrisey himself having coined the “musical unit name ‘The Smiths’ in May 1982.”
It is said that this application was secured without any consultation from the former frontman or any chance to object on the 65-year-old’s part.
Although the fellow Manc music legend himself is yet to come out and comment on the reports made on the official Morrissey Central website, fans are already speculating whether Marr is gearing up to head out on tour, the internet was quick to drum up what many are calling the ideal stand-in for a singer.
If there is any justice in the world, Marr will immediately tour with Rick Astley as the new Smiths’ front man and I for one will be at the front of the queue for tickets. https://t.co/Pg8LPe35TV
Though it might have seemed a slightly mad suggestion a few years ago, there are literally tonnes of accounts and music fans from all over calling for Rick Astley to be called in as a replacement frontman should Marr actually end up taking The Smiths back out on tour.
The ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ singer and Lancashire-born 80s pop star has been enjoying what we’ve affectionately referred to as the ‘Rick-naissance’ over the past few years, playing main stage slots at the likes of Glastonbury, Kendal Calling, Bestival and continuing to release new music.
Going on to not only become friends with the group but reiterate what an incredible singer he is – covering classics such as ‘There Is a Light That Never Goes Out’, ‘This Charming Man’ and even the likes of ACDC to tens of thousands on the Pyramid Stage – he’s quietly become one the UK’s favourite all-round performers once again.
That being said, it’s safe to say some people have other thoughts on the suggestion; many believe Marr wouldn’t be interested in doing it, others were aghast at the suggestion or some offered a much easier alternative that’s already proven to be a more than viable option…
People suggesting Johnny Marr should tour as The Smiths with Rick Astley as vocalist. Fuck off. FUCK OFF.
Nevertheless, there seem to be many more people in the pro-Astley camp than there are in the anti, with one user writing, “Johnny Marr, Rick Astley is waiting by the phone!”, and another in America adding: “If Marr tours Smiths songs with Rick Astley in the US, I’m going to every date in the south.”
As explained in the full post entitled, ‘The Plot Thickens’, Morrissey and his representation said that not only can Marr “now tour as The Smiths using the vocalist of his choice” but doing so will also “also prohibit Morrissey from using the name whilst also denying [him] considerable financial livelihood.”
The plot thickens indeed but, for now, there’s nothing concrete to any of this talk beyond what Morrissey has claimed regarding trademark rights and what a lot of fans would clearly love to see: some kind of The Smiths’ comeback tour featuring Marr and the mighty Rick Astley.
Hey, who knows? We’ve finally got an Oasis reunion and much stranger things have happened – and we’re talking just this week alone…
No backing, no label, all @TheReytons — with a little bit of @GNev2 now too, apparently… 👀
BBC to revive beloved children’s TV show Balamory for ‘a whole new generation’
Emily Sergeant
One of the most beloved children’s TV shows of the noughties is set to be revived for “a whole new generation”.
What’s the story in Balamory? It’s set to return to our TV screens, that’s the story.
That’s right, in what is a proper piece of nostalgic news for the children who grew up with the pastel-hued fictional town being a part of their lives, the BBC has announced today that Balamory is set to be revived for “a whole new generation” and will be returning for two new series on CBeebies in 2026 onwards.
The original show was produced between 2002 until 2005, but now it’s about to be revamped more than two decades later.
🎶 What’s the story in Balamory?
The pastel-hued, fictional town is returning for two new series on CBeebies! Filmed in Scotland, families will be able to enjoy the home-grown storytelling from 2026
Producers are hoping the reboot nostalgic – which is set to be inspired by the original family favourite show – will be a hit with both parents who grew up watching the show themselves, as well as with their little ones.
Exact details of the show’s revival are expected to be announced very soon, but the BBC has revealed that it will, once again, be set in the picturesque village of Balamory with stories centred around a nursery school and their teacher, and there’s likely to be some of the original characters included in the series, alongside a host of new faces to get to know.
The reboot will be filmed up in Scotland just like the original, either in the famous location of Tobermory, or in another equally-colourful Scottish location such as Rothesay.
The BBC is reviving beloved children’s show Balamory for ‘a whole new generation’ / Credit: Richard Szwejkowski (via Flickr)
“A whole new generation will discover and enjoy Balamory,” commented Kate Morton, who is the Head of Commissioning for BBC Children’s and Education.
“It will be a real treat for parents who grew up with the show to now introduce their little ones to the brightly-coloured world, getting to know a host of old and new characters together.”
Danny Jones -
28th May 2024 
