Chorlton residents have a mystery to solve after a homeowner wakes up to find his hedge has been inexplicably trimmed.
Locals in the sought-after Manchester suburb have been left puzzled, and some disturbed, upon finding a covert gardener is pruning their leafy suburb in the dead of night.
Paul Couvela took to Facebook group Chorlton M21 explaining that his front foliage had been bizarrely cut by “a person or persons unknown” and appealed to his fellow residents that: “It’s not like it was bushy beforehand.
“I’m a bit peeved. It looks torn in places, like they’ve used their bare hands or teeth.
“Faintly sinister.”
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“It’s not like it was bushy beforehand.” / Credit: Paul Couvela / Chorlton M21
Members of the Facebook group replied in the comment section calling it a “shearious crime” and labelling the perpetrator “the phantom bush trimmer.”
Chorlton’s Edward Scissor Hands is not the tidiest horticulturalist, as they did not clear up their chippings and instead left a carpet of green outside Couvela’s house.
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A highly passive aggressive warning sign or a harmless attempt at topiary?
It’s yet to be determined.
Featured Image – Paul Couvela / Chorlton M21
Manchester
Five Manchester artists we’ve been listening to this month | March 2025
Danny Jones
Oh, hello there. Did you think we’d forgotten to do our Manchester artists round-up for March? Don’t be daft, it was just a joke – a silly little April Fool’s joke.
This is, without a doubt, one of our favourite times of the month because we get to look back at our music habits in more bitesize pieces rather than feeling like we have to defend a whole year’s worth every time Spotify Wrapped rolls around.
If you don’t know the drill by now, for one, where have you been? Secondly, welcome to the listening party: it’s the period we set aside to spotlight the best up-and-coming, underrated and veteran musicians from Greater Manchester alike – so long as they’re good, we’re happy.
Let’s get into it then, yeah?
Manchester bands and artists we’ve been listening to this month
1. Lusaint
First up on our list for March is a very talented woman by the name of Lusaint – real name Lucy Hopkins, but trust us, this is a stage name set for stardom as far we’re concerned. Manc born and bred, she has the voice and vibe of an old soul with all the talent and style to go up against the biggest around today.
She started gaining followers through her stunning covers of everyone from Kings of Leon and Whitney Houston to Fleetwood Mac, Jason Mraz and many more. That being said, her pop-forward original solo material is hitting our ‘Sweet Tooth’ and then some, so we tried to keep it cool when we met her recently.
If you’re looking for where to start, her latest single ‘Neon Lights’ has an almost laid-back, neo-soul vibe; ‘Sober’ has a bit of Winehouse and Bailey Rae to it, but the best way to sum her up is soulful R’n’B with plenty of jazz and contralto moments sprinkled in there. The piano version of ‘Dark Horse’… Oof.
You’re damn right we’re putting them back amongst our Manc artists of the month list because not only have we’ve been listening to their new album non-stop but, in case you hadn’t heard, it’s just gone to number one – their second to date!
Leigh’s very own Lottery Winners need no introduction at this point: they’re becoming an increasingly big name in the indie, pop and Northern scene in general, but they also might just be up there with the hardest working bands going right now.
We could recommend tonnes of songs to kick off with but we’d like to give a big shout to ‘Superpower’, a real bit of genre whiplash that really works, ‘You Again’ with Jon McClure of Reverend and the Makers because it’s just a banger and ‘Turn Around’ because same and it has the cutest music video ever.
Now, this next one pains us slightly because Push Baby, as eclectic and interesting as they, are currently inactive as of 2022 following the release of their second full LP, Wow, That’s What I Call Push Baby!, which is brilliant subversion of modern mainstream music.
Made up of lead vocalist Jake Roche, the son of British household names, Coleen Nolan and Shane Richie, as well as multi-instrumentalist Charley Bagnall – both formerly of the boyband Rixton too – this alternative duo were pushing plenty of boundaries before they took a pause to pursue other projects.
Song wise, ‘WHAT YOU GONNA DO?’ is the closest thing to a new NSYNC track as you’ll find, ‘thenineteenseventyfive’ genuinely feels like it could fit on Notes On A Conditional Form if you just swapped out the vocals, and you simply have to start with the first song we ever heard from them: ‘thor’
You get a much different level of production on the studio version than this equally beautiful live recording. We hope they come back.
4. Tim Burgess
Our penultimate pick for this month is a Manc music legend whose music we’ve been exposed to most of our lives, but it pains us to confess were relative latecomers to his solo stuff. The Charlatans frontman had such a large body of work but we’ve finally cracked into properly for the first time.
It won’t surprise you whatsoever to learn the Salfordian icon’s own singer-songwriter records are just brilliant asd everything else he’s done in his career and we’ll feel daft to have waited this long to dive deep. There’s plenty to get through, put it that way.
Everyone’s heard ‘OH My Corazon’ (in fact, we’d wager you’ve heard even more Burgess than you realise), but we’d grown a particular soft spot for ‘Sure Enough – Eyedress Remix’, ‘White’ and ‘Empathy For The Devil’ where he voices go real Ian Brown-esque. We’ll keep digging and get back to you.
Yet more evidence that he deserves your attention and respect for what he’s done/doing for Manc music
5. Dirty Blonde
Last but certainly not least is another duo that unlike Push Baby aren’t just active but are absolutely rip-roaring through the infancy of their alt rock story already and have all ferocity of a pair of Manc music pioneers that are going to go far – Spill The Sound seem to think so too.
Modern girl rock that kicks you in the face with punchy riffs, catchy hooks, great vocals and plenty of confidence and all-round swagger that makes you think they’re made for this business. You could probably draw all manner of comparisons to contemporaries, but put simply they just sound sick.
There’s not absolute reams to get through yet as the two are ones for the future, but we’ve particular enjoyed ‘Rush’, ‘Run (When I Tell You)’ and you’d be a fool not to take a look at their new single ‘Adore Me’ which achieves exactly what the title says. Love ’em and we look forward to hearing more.
And we’re sorry to say that’s all she wrote for another month and we apologise to any of you die-hard readers for being a day late to it this time around, we promise we won’t make a habit of it.
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In the meantime, you can always go back listen to our Manc music favourite from February to keep your playlists feeling refreshed – and all the other lists prior, come to think of it.
Featured Images — Audio North/Wow, Big Legend (press shot)
Manchester
Pep Guardiola delivers gutting news as Man City are hit with Erling Haaland injury blow
Danny Jones
Pep Guardiola has passed on some gutting fitness news for Manchester City fans as star striker Erling Haaland is confirmed to be injured for several weeks and could even miss the rest of the Premier League season.
The title might be out of reach this year, and the Champions League knockout against Real Madrid was definitely hard for Blues to take, but with Man City into the semi-finals of the FA Cup, there’s still a very strong chance they could end 2024/25 with a piece of silverware.
However, they’ll have to make it through another two massive rounds at Wembley and seemingly the remainder of the season without Haaland and his goals, as the Catalan coach revealed that the club expects him to be out injured for “six to seven weeks.”
Not exactly how City fans would have wanted to see the rest of an already frustrating season play out.
🗣️ "We don't have another player with his skills."
Relaying diagnosis from the medical team, Pep said the hope is that the big Norwegian number nine could be back for the very tail end of the campaign, but at the very least, he “will be ready for the [FIFA Club] World Cup.”
He went on to add that “these kinds of things happen” and that he feels “sorry” for all of the other injuries that have befell his squad up till now, adding that they can only hope for a speedy recovery and for him to return as soon as possible.
The 24-year-old hasn’t had too many big injury problems in his career thus far, although his longest spell on the sidelines did come at the end of 2023 when a stress fracture kept him out until the new year.
This time around, Haaland suffered an injury to his ankle during the City’s FA Cup win over Bournemouth on Sunday following a challenge from defensive midfielder Lewis Cook.
He was forced in the second half and was seen leaving the Vitality Stadium on crutches after the game.
Erling Haaland seen leaving Bournemouth in a protective boot and crutches. 🤕
Having led the golden boot race for a good chunk of the season – as he’s become accustomed too since he arrived in England – City‘s sub-optimal season has seen him slink into second behind high-flying Mo Salah on 27, but he still has a couple dozen goals and a trio of assists to show for it.
Speaking of Salah, the soon-to-leave ‘Egyptian King’ has been the talisman for Liverpool this season, and his contributions could see them lift the trophy in Arne Slot’s first season as early as 13 April, depending on how fellow title rivals Arsenal fare in their next two matches.
As for how City round out their domestic campaign, reclaiming the FA Cup after last year’s derby disappointment looks like the main goal.
You can watch Pep Guardiola’s press conference ahead of the game against Leicester City at 19:45pm tomorrow (Wednesday, 2 April) in full HERE.
Dolly Busby -
8th October 2021 
