With a return to normality on the horizon and the summer season nearly upon us, many are keen to get themselves in shape.
While several lockdowns and ongoing restrictions over the past year haven’t exactly made it easy to keep fit during the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, now that ‘Step Two’ in the government’s roadmap to lifting England’s current national lockdown has commenced, gyms have finally been able to reopen after having to temporarily close doors for weeks on end.
And plenty of people are already back on the road to being shredded.
But if you’re keen to look like you’ve given your body an upgrade without all the stress and hassle of actually working out, or putting yourself through expensive surgical processes, how about a suit that makes you look ripped instead?
There’s a bunch of retailers on the market currently selling half and full-body suits made from 100% medical-grade silicone to give the appearance of abs and muscles – and sales are shooting up.
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Depending on what you feel most comfortable with, you can buy an upper body suit, a lower body suit, or even a full body suit if you really want to show off all your ‘hard work’.
Taobao/Smitizen
The suit might help you give off the illusion of toned summer body, but anyone who’s worn something tight on their body on a hot day will know how sweaty things can get, so as long as you don’t care about things getting a little moist, then you’ll be alright.
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This quick and easy method of getting ripped doesn’t come cheap, though.
A retailer on eBay is selling a half-body suit that doesn’t even include bulging biceps and triceps for nearly AUD $270 (£150), which is looking to be one of the cheapest on the market, but if you consider that up against the average annual gym membership, then maybe it’s not so bad for a lot less work after all?
You could always just make your way back to the gym if you’re not willing to part with that amount of cash.
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Or just keep your body exactly the way it is – what’s a ‘summer body’ anyway?
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Fans are preparing to pay tribute to Mani from The Stone Roses ahead of his funeral service
Danny Jones
Stone Roses fans and Greater Manchester locals alike are getting ready to pay their respects to the late, great, Gary ‘Mani’ Mounfield, following his tragic passing last month.
As well as details surrounding his funeral being announced earlier this week, the iconic Manc musician’s cause of death has also finally been revealed.
While Hatton’s service featured a high-profile cortège which started all the way from his hometown of Hyde, past multiple landmarks and ending at the Etihad Stadium, those local to Mani’s family home on the edge of Stockport are also being welcomed to help send him off.
It's the funeral of Mani of the Stone Roses on the 22nd. He lived locally. This poster is asking people to line the route of his funeral cortege to "show that he truly was adored". pic.twitter.com/X0DYHl10Hp
He had been struggling with emphysema for some time; he was declared dead at his home in the suburb of Heaton Moor, and is said to have died peacefully in his sleep.
As you can see from the posters put in various places around the area, residents wishing to pay their own tributes to Mani before his private funeral service at Manchester Cathedral are encouraged to line the long street leading down from St Paul’s and Heaton Moor United Church as he heads towards the city.
Departing Parsonage Road from 10am on Monday, 22 December, before turning right onto Heaton Moor Rd, then Wellington and eventually on to the Cathedral, you can expect plenty of people to show up.
One of those people will be his former bandmate and another influential guitarist, John Squire, who is one of many famous musical names to have honoured him in their own way over the last few weeks.
Other members of The Stone Roses, as well as Primal Scream (who he joined in 1996), are expected to join the close family and friends at the service itself.
Nevertheless, we have no doubt that plenty will be observing the funeral in their own way.
So, for those of you also looking to honour him, you know what to do; and to quote the poster itself, “together we can show this local legend and his family that he was truly adored.”
The best Christmas party food and picky bits from M&S this year
Daisy Jackson
Clear the tables, pop the oven on to pre-heat, and set the paper plates – it’s Christmas, and that can only mean it’s party food season again.
No one does silly little festive nibbles quite like M&S, with their Christmas party food range getting more and more extravagant every single winter.
2025 is absolutely no exception – expect the likes of cubed rice, snowman-shaped bao, tiny Yorkie puds and plenty more delicious madness besides.
We’ve been down in the aisles of everyone’s favourite posh supermarket to see exactly what concoctions they’ve conjured up this year, and did not leave disappointed.
This is not just party food, this is M&S Christmas party food.
A very Marbella Christmas
Have you ever seen a square paella before? No? You haven’t lived mate.
These angular rice bites are one of three Spanish-influenced picky bits in M&S this Christmas, alongside tiny tortillas and patatas bravas stacks (tiny potato rostis topped with tomato sauce and chorizo then served with a garlic sauce on the side).
Don’t be put off by the hot pink prawn curled up on the rice bed like a dog that’s been bought a bed two sizes too small…
A little fishy on a little dishy
Everyone knows that the M&S salmon and potato salad is one of their most elite items, so those hot smoked salmon rosti bites are going STRAIGHT in my basket.
If you like your fish dishes really bite-sized, there’s also the smoked salmon appetisers that look like they’ve been lifted right out of a 1960s cookbook.
And of course, tiger prawns wrapped in various shapes and sizes of pastry, too.
Jingle baos
If you’d told me three years ago that bao would become a staple on every posh Christmas buffet, I’d have sent you to the hospital.
But they’re back for a third year in a new novelty festive shape, and this time, M&S has gone to new heights.
Presenting – double decker bao in the shape of a snowman, complete with cosy green scarf and a veggie pad Thai filling.
Some of them look like they’ve been through the wars, don’t they?
Pam Shipman would buy these
If you’re not a Gavin & Stacey fan, just imagine the following section being read aloud by a flapping (ideally Essex) mother with a fresh blowdry and a waft of YSL Libra about her.
“Those, Bryn, are M&S mushroom vol-oh-vohnts.”
“A little goat cheese tart for you, Smithy?” (“Who you calling a tart Pamelarrr you minx!”)
Basically, these are the posh little nibbles your mums will gravitate towards to show off their hosting gravitas.
Merry Texmexmas
M&S always seems to lean over to the States for inspiration for its party food and this year is no different.
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They’ve got a real Tex-Mex flavour going on in 2025, with Christmas party food including mini vegetable tacos filled with peppers and sweetcorn.
There are also those impossible-to-eat-why-are-you-sliding-everywhere miniature beef burgers, back to piss me off for another year.
Ee by gum it must be Christmas
‘Ey up! Has M&S recruited an actual Northerner to help put together the party food for Christmas this year?!
We all know the deal with British pub food – a little bit stodgy, very comforting, and incredibly filling. Okay, now picture that, but not remotely filling.
M&S has brought back a couple of its miniature bites inspired by classic British fare – pies that fit in the palm of your hand (beef and ale, or chicken and leek), and Yorkshire puddings so small they must’ve been baked in a cupcake tin. Cute.
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The most important picky bit of the day
Whether or not to bother with breakfast on Christmas morning seems to be a bit of a hot topic – what’s the point in a bowl of cornflakes when you’re readying to slam the biggest meal of the year in a matter of hours?
Well, M&S is making sure the most important meal of the day infiltrates all the way through to party time with these two.
A stack of miniature pancakes and slivers of bacon, plus pint-sized ham and cheese croissants. Has anyone ever handed you a croissant on a dancefloor before? This might be the year.
Better than your mum’s turkey curry
Oh now we’re cooking with tandoor! Not one, but two picky bits inspired by Britain’s national dish – curry. And the most British curry of all, a chicken tikka masala.
For Christmas this year M&S has created the world’s smallest naan breads, which are topped with tikka chicken and pickled pink onions.
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And in the other hand, there are spiced potato and spinach dosa rolls, which we have literally never seen on any buffet spread before ever, but sure.
Get it before it’s scone
If your hand impulsively twitches towards a Christmas sandwich every time you’re shopping for a meal deal, get a load of this – tiny mini turkey feast toasties. Yay!
These tiny square sarnies have got pulled turkey, stuffing, ham hock, Emmental cheese, cranberry sauce AND gravy in them, somehow. When did M&S unlock a cheat code to overcome sandwich physics?
There are also miniature mature Barber’s cheddar scones, with honey and mustard pulled ham inside. They sound like a sheer winner.
That’s not a hambush, it’s a charcutertree!
Oh, look who’s back to make a mockery of your flat cheese board again. It’s the Christmas Charcuter-tree. Sigh.
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Real fancy people present their cured meat and cheese selection in the shape of a Christmas tree (obviously) and M&S have got a build-you-own kit available for £23 (that’s actually two quid cheaper than last year).
I can only begin to imagine the meltdown I’d have as another piece of salami refused to act like tinsel and unravelled onto the table.
The Manc -
21st April 2021 
