The most talked about movie of the year, Cocaine Bear might be the best-worst idea for a film we’ve ever heard. Nevertheless, people have been obsessed with it ever since it was announced.
As it turns out, that obsession may have been warranted as, according to Rotten Tomatoes, Cocaine Bear might actually be… good?
Now, we know there are a lot of ‘good-bad’ films within this prevailing sci-fi horror-comedy genre that so many people like to spend their free time watching: Sharknado, Zombeavers, Sharktopus; Piranhaconda, Sand Sharks, Arachnoquake, Dinoshark—basically, there’s usually a shark involved.
However, Cocaine Bear in particular has managed to capture the imagination of millions and while many might have been preparing to like this film for all the wrong reasons, now the reviews are in it seems as though people are just generally enjoying it for the “hilarious”, “outrageous”, “ridiculous” romp that it is.
Cocaine Bear is gory, fun as hell, packed with hilarious grotesque kills and over-the-top characters, and at 90-ish minutes, it’s paced near perfectly and never overstays its welcome or overdoses on the joke.
As well as some pretty good scores from outlets across the board, Cocaine Bear not only managed to debut as ‘certified fresh’ on Rotten Tomatoes but after the first batch of user reviews and even half a dozen critics, it actually landed a perfect score of 100%.
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Obviously, this wasn’t going to last forever and this thing isn’t Citizen Kane; it soon slipped down to 88% and now, after a little over a week since its release, it has ultimately levelled out at 74% in terms of audience score and a 69% on the official Tomatometer — because of course it had to be that number.
With a rather impressive cast behind it, including Keri Russell, O’Shea Jackson Jr, Alden Ehrenreich and even Ray Liotta’s final performance before his tragic passing, not to mention comedy veteran Elizabeth Banks’ third feature film as director, there was plenty of added appeal to grab a ticket.
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But perhaps one of the main selling points behind this crazy cocaine-fuelled comedy is that it’s actually based on a true story. Sort of…
That’s right, this unbelievable script is loosely inspired by the bizarre 1985 story of a 175lb black bear that stumbled across a sweet-smelling suspicious package in the woods after a smuggler’s shipment was dropped mid-flight as his plane ultimately crashed into a mountain in North Carolina.
The pilot himself was found dead in someone’s back garden in Knoxville, Texas after presumably jumping from the plane but as for the 70 pounds of cocaine — estimated to be worth around $15 million — they landed in a forest in Georgia where the bear just so happened to come across the drug-filled duffel bag.
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After apparently consuming around $2m worth of the contents, the animal was dubbed ‘Pablo Eskobear’ and his unbelievable tale went on to become a Hollywood movie script.
Safe to say, people were sold on it the second they heard the words ‘cocaine’ and ‘bear’ in the same sentence.
Do I have to see Paddington 1 and 2 to understand Cocaine Bear?
Full disclosure, this legend is in the film but he’s still got a point.
So, the question is, how accurate is this utterly batsh*t story? Well, not very, but by all accounts, it is a hilarious, action-packed depiction of an extremely unlikely situation.
The actual story of poor Pablo was that after ingesting seriously excessive amounts of cocaine, he sadly overdosed shortly after and did not go on to take part in a murderous rampage like in the movie.
When you strip back the undeniably comedic element behind this utterly nonsensical film, it’s actually quite a sad story that ended up claiming the life of an innocent animal.
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In fact, Banks herself said that despite seeing the obvious potential in the script, she said she felt sorry for the bear who wound up as “collateral damage in the crazy war on drugs” and wanted to tell a more “uplifting version of that story”. For her, the bear isn’t the villain: he’s the hero (at least in spirit, anyway).
Regardless of the vague air of controversy behind it, Cocaine Bear has gone on to become a box office hit, grossing over $38m worldwide in its first week alone, all through sheerly embracing its own ridiculousness.
The film is doing so well in fact that it’s spawned its own line of highly collectable Funko POP! bobbleheads and there’s already talk of sequels and spin-offs, with Banks reportedly more than willing to take on what many people have labelled as a spiritual successor in the making, ‘Cocaine Shark‘.
Two words: yes and yes.
‘Cocaine Bear’ director Elizabeth Banks says she would be interested in directing ‘COCAINE SHARK’ based on the recent true story.
Erling Haaland is set to make his acting debut later this year
Danny Jones
Manchester City star Erling Haaland is set to make his debut film appearance later this year in his first proper voice acting job as part of an animated movie.
Let’s just say our obsessive countdown until the release date starts NOW.
The Premier League player and sporting superstar has obviously featured on camera plenty since bursting onto the scene – not least of all for his own YouTube channel – but this will be new territory for the Norwegian.
Rather fittingly for the Scandinavian striker, he’s not only playing a Viking character in the upcoming animation, ViQueens, but he’s also basically set to play a version of himself.
Soccer Superstar Erling Haaland to Play Animated Viking in Film Debut (Exclusive) https://t.co/r6uxxOClJI
As per The Hollywood Reporter, the new film by fellow compatriot and director, Harald Zwart, who is best known for the likes of Agent Cody Banks, the 2010 Karate Kid reboot, and The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones.
He also directed comedian Steve Martin’s second outing as The Pink Panther, so it’s safe to say he’s got a funny bone or two.
That being said, it feels like the 25-year-old will be able to have some fun with this script, in which he is set to play a Viking of the same name – because of course he is.
While it’s still yet to be revealed as to just how big a role he will have in the feature film set to arrive this winter, what we know so far is that the film is an action-comedy adventure revolving around a “world of fearless warrior girls, icy fjords, and Silk Road mythology.”
It’s also worth noting that this isn’t even the first time we’ve seen a cartoon version of Erling Haaland brought to life, as he also popped up in the world of gaming a little while back.
The career of a top footballer really can be a crazy one, can’t it?
Speaking on the film, director and co-writer Zwart told the outlet: “As a Norwegian storyteller making a Viking adventure for a global audience, having Erling Haaland join ViQueens feels incredibly exciting.
“Erling has already become a kind of real-life Viking icon around the world – powerful, fearless, and uniquely Norwegian. Bringing him into this universe as himself gives the film an unexpected energy and authenticity that felt completely right for this story.”
Other famous faces set to star in the animation, which is set to release this December, include singer-turned-actor Rita Ora and Ella Purnell (Fallout, Arcane, Sweetpea), who are starring as the two lead characters and voice actors.
Channel 4 takes all episodes of Married at First Sight UK off air after rape allegations
Emily Sergeant
Channel 4 has stripped all episodes of Married at First Sight UK from air following rape allegations from previous participants.
The broadcaster said ‘very serious allegations of wrongdoing’ have been made against a small number of past participants in the popular reality TV series, which sees single people – matched by experts – ‘marry’ strangers who they meet for the first time on their wedding day, leading to the show being fully taken off air.
It comes as the BBC and a Panorama special reported allegations from two women who alleged they were raped during filming of the show, and a third described an allegation of a non-consensual sex act.
Each of the past participants all alleged that the show did not do enough to protect them.
Channel 4’s recently appointed CEO, Priya Dogra, confirmed that the broadcaster had instructed an external review of contributor welfare on Married at First Sight UK (MAFS UK) last month.
The broadcaster says it expects the review to report in the coming months, and will share a summary of findings and recommendations at the ‘appropriate time’.
Channel 4 takes all episodes of Married at First Sight UK off air after rape allegations / Credit: James West (via Flickr)
A formal statement issued by Channel 4 addressing the matter reads: “In April, Channel 4 was presented with serious allegations of wrongdoing against a small number of past contributors, allegations that we understand those contributors have denied.
“The channel is mindful of the privacy and continuing duty of care towards all contributors, and cannot comment on or disclose details of those allegations.
“Related to those allegations, Channel 4 was asked to respond to claims of failures in welfare protocols. Channel 4 believes that when concerns related to contributor welfare were raised through existing welfare and production protocols, prompt and appropriate action was taken, based on the information available at the time.
“Channel 4 strongly refutes any claim to the contrary.”
Explaining the decision to remove all episodes of the show from air and streaming services, the statement continued: “While the review is ongoing and until we receive any conclusions and recommendations, all previous seasons of MAFS UK have been removed from Channel 4 streaming and linear services at this time, alongside Channel 4’s MAFS UK social channels.”
Channel 4 says this move considers the ongoing duty of care to all contributors, the seriousness of the allegations levelled against a small number of past contributors, and is made ‘out of an abundance of caution to avoid fuelling speculation or jigsaw identification’.
Danny Jones -
5th March 2023 
