Nigel Slater has sent the internet into a right tizz after sharing a recipe for a sweet tart with quite a suggestive shape.
The 67-year-old food writer posted instructions for a custard and poached quince tart, alongside a picture of the pink pastry.
Nigel clearly spent a lot of time perfecting the recipe, but what he maybe didn’t do was think about his photography properly. Or, maybe he knew exactly what he was doing.
Because within minutes of sharing his quince custard tart recipe, the comment section was flooded with similar observations.
There’s no denying it – those soft folds of pink stewed fruit look an awful lot like a vulva…
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One person joked that the tart looked like it would have a ‘nice vulvatey texture’ while another said it was ‘Shameless clitbait’.
Nigel’s caption read: “Not something to hurry, but a pleasurable way to spend a quiet afternoon in the kitchen and worth every minute of your time.
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“The quinces need to be cooked until completely soft then left to cool in their syrup which is then boiled down for the glaze. You could make them with apples should quinces prove evasive.”
But his followers were so distracted by the NSFW image that they couldn’t resist bombarding him with jokes.
Nigel Slater’s accidentally rude tart recipe. Credit: Instagram
One person wrote: “Is it my dirty mind or….*checks comments* nope, we are all filth bags together.”
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Another said: “Broke my neck running to the comments.”
Someone else posted: “Nige, I’m going to put it down to your being a sweet gay man that you have no idea what you’ve posted. Merry Christmas.”
And someone else passed on season’s greetings, saying: “Merry Clitmas, one and all.”
Another festive joker said: “Feliz Fannydad! (Thanks for making my crimbz, Nigel!)”
And on X, formerly known as Twitter, one user shared: “Nigella: ‘No one does sexy Christmas like me.’ Nigel: ‘See my beer? Will you hold it?'”
Nigel Slater has since posted a follow-up to the erotic quince tart, writing: “Gracious me, thank you for all your likes and comments on my last post. Some absolute gems there.
“A very low-key Christmas here this year, so here is a picture of my tree in 2022 (probably my favourite ever) to wish you a very, very happy and peaceful Christmas and to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone for following and for all your messages over the year.
The Pogues announce Manchester gig on first tour since death of frontman Shane MacGowan
Danny Jones
The Pogues have announced their first UK tour since the death of former frontman, Shane MacGowan, with Manchester one of just half a dozen cities chosen.
Nearly a full year on from his death at just 65, the Anglo-Irish favourites best known for their eternal Christmas classic, ‘Fairytale of New York’, are gearing up for their first outing since their iconic lead singer’s passing as a celebration of his life and their seminal second album.
It’s been 13 years since their last headline tour shortly before their split and it will be 40 years since the release of Rum Sodomy and the Lash by the time they hit the road along with special guests.
Safe to say it’ll be an emotional series of shows for everyone involved.
The Pogues return in 2025 for their first UK Tour since 2012 to celebrate 40 years of Rum Sodomy & the Lash Ft James Fearnley, Jem Finer, Spider Stacy & special guests. Tickets go on sale 9:30am Fri 22 Nov. Sign up at https://t.co/PxhZ8bnwBA by 5pm on 19 Nov for presale access ⚓️ pic.twitter.com/hFACjdf7yc
Revealing just six shows here in the UK, the long-standing band are set to play their sophomore release in full as well as a selection of their greatest hits.
The tour will feature remaining original members James Fearnley, Jem Finer, and Peter Richard ‘Spider’ Stacy, as well as a series of support that are yet to be confirmed.
Speaking on the upcoming dates, The Pogues said: “After the uproarious bash which was the 40th anniversary of our first record, Red Roses for Me, in 2024, we wanted to do it again, but with Rum Sodomy & the Lash.”
The music veterans are remaining tight-lipped about who they’re bringing along but they have promised their selections have been “thoughtfully chosen”.
With MacGowan, lead guitarist Philip Chevron (2013), bassist Darryl Hunt (2022) and long-time collaborator Kirsty MacColl (2000) now having passed away, the band will be roping in plenty of help on vocals and instrumentation.
Even though the gigs themselves will be coming at the of next spring, you can rest assured you’ll get to hear your beloved festive ballad.
Kicking off the tour in Leeds, The Pogues will play their first Manchester show in over a decade – and without Shane MacGowan front and centre – at the O2 Apollo on Wednesday, 7 May 2025.
Featured Images — Press Images (supplied)/Mordac (via Flickr)
Christmas
Hot Blobs – Retro drink makes return to Manchester Christmas Markets, but what is it?
Daisy Jackson
It’s funny how we all turn a blind eye to the temperature outside when it comes to the Christmas Markets.
At a time of year where should probably all be hibernating inside, droves of us instead head out to brave the elements all in the name of the festivities.
Of course, the Manchester Christmas Markets sell all sorts of wares to take the edge off, and we’re not just talking about the stalls selling woollen mittens everywhere.
Our favourite winter warmers tend to take the form of a tray of piping hot garlic potatoes, or a mug of hot chocolate, or another boozy beverage that’s massively underrated.
The drink in question is a Hot Blob, which is listed on the menu at the Piccadilly Gardens markets as ‘legendary’.
A bold claim, but a lot of long-time Manc residents will understand why.
The Hot Blob is a jaw-clenchingly sweet concoction served piping hot at the Manchester Christmas Market, similar to a hot toddy.
It’s made with Australian fortified white wine, lemon, sugar, and boiling water.
Hot Blobs – Retro drink makes return to Manchester Christmas Markets, but what is it? Credit: The Manc Group
The drink was first invented by Yates, that well-known pub chain, which started life as Yates’s Wine Lodge up the road in Oldham.
According to Pubs of Manchester, the Hot Blob has a tendency to ‘speed up drunkenness to a young drinker’.
These days, it’s pretty rare to come across one on a menu, but back in 1990s it was a staple in a few pubs around town.
There even used to be a ‘Blob Shop’ on High Street, run by local legend Ged Ford (now in charge of the equally legendary Millstone pub), which found itself in a state of utter carnage when the IRA bomb went off.
The long-lost institution specialised in ‘cheap wine, cheap beer, and plenty of blobs’.
The old Yates Blob Shop on High Street, Manchester. Credit: deltrems@flickr
Ged sold 6,000 a week.
And while the drink may have fallen out of favour since then, there are still healthy numbers being sold at this time of year, even if they are a damn sight more expensive than they were in the 1990s (£6 a pop, plus a glass deposit).
Anyway. If you’re sick to the back teeth of the endless gluhwein being peddled across the markets, make a beeline for Manchester Winter Ale House at Piccadilly Gardens, where you can find Hot Blobs as well as boozy Vimto and cask ales.
The Manchester Christmas Markets officially end on 22 December.
Daisy Jackson -
18th December 2023 
