According to recent research on Britain’s bedtime habits, Mancunians are apparently the most sleep deprived anywhere in the country this month.
Carried out by botanical experts Cannabotech, who used YouGov survey results and search data on the nations sleeping patterns and nighttime habits from the last five years, they found that not only is January the hardest time of year to get a good night’s rest, but Mancs are seemingly the worst suffering.
Pulling data for Google Keywords Explorer and Google Trends, researchers found that Greater Manchester reported the highest influx of sleep-related search terms per capita at the start of the year.
“Absolutely knackered” is a pretty standard response whenever you ask how your co-workers are doing on Monday morning but, come to think of it, feeling almost permanently tired does feel very ‘January’.
As mentioned, it’s not just this January either, (I mean, we’re only a fortnight into 2023): half a decade’s worth of sleep-deprived search data and adjacent survey results show that at leasttwo in five Mancunians don’t get enough sleepinthe first month of the year.
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When it comes to troubleshooting why you’re struggling to nod off, our lot rank among the highestfor searching things like ‘insomnia’, ‘sleep music’ and ‘sleeping pills’ — all of which are at their highest at the start of the year.
The NHS recommends that adults get between seven and nine hours of sleep per night, but according to the data, just over half (56%) of the population manage to enjoy that amount in January.
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This leaves two-fifths (44%) of people in the region not getting enough rest at the start of the year, which the NHS says can lead to various short and long-term health problems, including increased stress, memory issues and a weak immune system.
What about the rest of the UK’s sleep stats?
Post-Christmas fatigue no doubt plays a part in the sleep struggles but as for why us Mancs are the worst affected, who knows? For now, let’s just chalk it up to solid graft.
As for the rest of Britain, Lancaster and East Kilbride are some of the better sleepers, reporting the lowest search volume of search terms relating to sleeping issues per-capita. Conversely, here are the top 10 most sleep deprived places across the nation:
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Manchester
Bristol
Reading
Liverpool
Birmingham
Preston
Newcastle upon Tyne
Nottingham
Edinburgh
Glasgow
Approximately 1% of the UK’s adult population (roughly 528,889 people) get just one hour of sleep per night in January. Now that’s a grim thought.
Google’s data shows that lots of Brits aren’t happy with their sleep throughout the year; wider search queries include ‘insomnia’, ‘why can’t I sleep’, ‘sleep music’, ‘sleep remedies’ and ‘sleeping pills’ — all of which peak in January.
How to beat the January blues and sleep better
So how can people try and get more shut-eye? Well, while you may know a lot of this already, Cannobotech recommends the following:
Support your immune system
In winter as colds circulate, it’s important to strengthen your immune system in order to limit sleep disruption. Stay hydrated, eat plenty of Vitamin C-rich fruits and veggies, and although it’s tempting to stay inside when it’s cold, physical exercise is important — you can always get a workout in at home.
Maintain a set schedule
Those drawn-out dark evenings can make it hard to switch off. Regardless, try to go to sleep and wake up at the same time all year, as this will make it easier for your body to recognise when it’s time for bed. You can also invest in natural light bulbs and other forms of light therapy to make the transition easier.
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Keep stress levels low
Keeping stress levels low before bed will improve your sleep quality massively. Ways to do this include avoiding screens and winding down at least an hour before your planned bedtime, as well as setting time aside to journal or get any worries or concerns you have off your chest so they don’t keep you up.
Sleep deprivation isn’t just a pain in the arse, it can turn into a genuine health risk and lead to further problems down the line, so let’s make 2023 a better year for sleep.
If you’re struggling to get your head down, be sure to take these tips on board and we hope you get some proper kip soon.
Internet signals reportedly ‘100x faster on the moon’ than on some UK trains
Danny Jones
Yes, you read that right: according to a recent study, internet signals on some UK trains are currently estimated to be 100x slower than they would be on… wait for it: the actual MOON.
Give us strength – and by that we mean signal strength.
As per new analysis carried out by Good Business Travel (GBT), research into some of the worst-connected train routes across Great Britain has delivered a rather depressing evaluation of our telecommunications systems and railways.
While some may certainly be better than others, it’s fair to say that we’ve all been there; you’re trying to have a call or use even a crumb of your data on a train before you ultimately give up and start arbitrarily looking through your photo library.
Put a man on the moon ✅ Cure diseases ✅
Get wifi on a fucking train. ABSOLUTELY NOT. NOOOO WAYYYYYY.
As damning and hyperbolic a claim as it might sound, GBT have indeed found that when compared against Ofcom’s benchmark for reliable internet performance (5Mbit/s), not a single train journey consistently meets the regulator’s standard.
Anyone who’s ever done Manchester to London and vice versa will know all too well how frustrating it can be to get a steady signal during your journey.
Never mind, eh? You know, they’re only two of the most modern and digitally-driven cities in the entire country – foolish of us to expect the key North-South link would carry over to internet connection.
Regarding train WiFi, hit and miss is putting it mildly, and even if you’re lucky enough to be on one that actually has a decent signal, it’s only a matter of time before the carriages fill up and throttle everyone’s connection, and it becomes patchy at best.
In what might be one of the slightest consolations ever, you’ll be glad to hear the LDN-MCR speeds are only the seventh worst in the nation, managing just 16% when it came to the average mobile network ‘Good Performance’ by Ofcom standards. You can see the unwanted top 10 leaderboard in full below.
The worst UK train journeys for mobile connectivity
Rank
Route
Average mobile network Good Performance (Ofcom)
1
Basingstoke to Coventry
6%
2
Sheffield to Doncaster
12%
3
Taunton to Leeds
13%
4
London to Edinburgh
14%
5
London to East Midlands Parkway
14%
6
Bedford to London St Pancras Peak
15%
7
London to Manchester
16%
8
London to Glasgow
18%
9
London to Plymouth
24%
10
London to Bournemouth
25%
Put simply, a staggering number of domestic train journeys fail the litmus test for what would be considered even a decent connection.
It’s got to the point now that there are even people starting nationwide campaigns to help generate awareness around upgrading telecoms infrastructure across the UK, with trains being one of the biggest challenges in this country.
Speaking on the report, Good Business Travel’s Client Experience Director, Natasha Inglis, said in a statement: “Millions of people travel by train every week expecting to work, stream, message friends or simply stay connected.
“Instead, they’re met with frozen video calls, emails that won’t send and endless buffering. While improvements to Britain’s rail connectivity have been promised by the government, passengers still have to deal with unreliable coverage every day. There are a few tricks that can help in the meantime.
“Many people don’t realise that sitting on the side of the train facing nearby towns or major roads can improve your signal because you’re closer to mobile masts. It’s also worth switching your phone to 4G instead of allowing it to constantly search for weak 5G signals, which often makes connectivity even less reliable on moving trains.”
But hey, things are slowly getting better if reports are to be believed, with satellite-enabled mobile services gradually being rolled out, meaning traditional ‘deadzones’/signal blackspots may not be as big of a problem as they once were. Touch wood.
For now, we’re just going to keep making sure we’ve got a decent book with us and enjoy taking a break from endless screentime.
New Man United signing Andrey Santos reveals what Cole Palmer told him before transfer
Danny Jones
Manchester United new-boy Andrey Santos has revealed what local lad and former teammate Cole Palmer told him before he joined the club earlier this week – one of two midfielder signings they’ve already made this summer.
He and his fellow new arrival may not have been the transfer supporters were expecting, but with a cosign from ‘Cold’ Palmer, it’s fair to say fans can hope for big things.
The young Brazilian CDM, who arrives from Chelsea on a fee worth a reported £48 million, is purported to be a player with great potential.
With the ‘Seleção’ supposedly believing he could one day be a Casemiro successor, it seems only fitting that he replaces the footballing veteran in the middle of the park for Man United; and it looks as though the 22-year-old has been vouched for by a boyhood MUFC fan in Palmer, too.
🗣️ Andrey Santos on Manchester:
"Cole [Palmer] sent me a message because he was born here, he knows here, he said all the best for your career and a lot of things… So I'm so excited to be here in Manchester!"
As shared in his first media duties at the Carrington training complex, the ex-Strasbourg player and one-time Nottingham Forest loanee said that the Wythenshawe-born winger and attacking midfielder wished him nothing but the best on his move, noting his knowledge and lasting love for his hometown.
Palmer, himself still only 24, may have played for Manchester City, but he’s been a Red since he was a kid and confessed that he initially never wanted to leave the region.
Having also commented on Santos’ announcement post – simply writing, “What a player! Good luck bro” – leading plenty of people on social media to start speculating over whether the England international could also be convinced to make the move (back) up North.
The prospect seems to be fairly thin at spurious at present, but stranger things have happened.
It’s worth noting that Palmer struggled to be quite as his very best for Chelsea last season, not only missing out on game time due to injury problems but also struggling to lock down a guaranteed spot in the starting XI despite his obvious talent, especially given the extremely large and ‘bloated’ squad.
Not unlike Santos, you could say – though Palmer has obviously hit much bigger heights in the blue already in his career.
On the other hand, when asked about transfer rumours and the most recent round of links to his beloved Red Devils in a Guardian interview earlier this year, the Manc footballer admitted that while Manchester is still his home, he’s grown to enjoy life in the capital and can usually just “laugh it off”.
However, with the west London club looking at yet another overhaul under a new manager, you never know who could be deemed surplus to requirements, a good bargaining chip in the transfer market, or simply not as big a part of Xabi Alonso’s plans.
Meanwhile, United and the INEOS board have brought in the likes of Youri Tielemans elsewhere in the middle of the park, along with back-up goalkeeper Kyle Darlow so far in this window.
As for the Vasco de Gama youth graduate, you can hear more from Andrey Santos in his first full interview as a Manchester United player below.
Danny Jones -
13th January 2023 
