A woman in New Zealand has shared an apology video to the entire UK after a horrendous encounter with a Terry’s Chocolate Orange.
Jazz Thornton, a mental health activist and former winner of Dancing With the Stars, went viral here in the UK after trying to eat one of the nation’s favourite chocolate treats.
Faced with a Terry’s Chocolate Orange, she was absolutely baffled by the mechanisms of the perfect chocolatey sphere – and did absolutely everything wrong.
Bouncing it around in her hand, she said: “Oh it’s quite heavy! Is it like an actual… I thought it would be like a shell… but it’s like an actual… how do you… Oh it’s like little orange slices!”
And this is where it all goes tits-up for Jazz.
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“How does one… how do… how, how, how…” she says.
“I thought it was slices but I think, no, you just have to, like” – and proceeds to bite the Terry’s Chocolate Orange like an apple. AN APPLE.
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You can tell her heart of hearts knows something’s gone wrong within seconds, when she’s left with a segment hanging out of her mouth.
Jazz says: “Nope, that’s definitely a slice,” and compares it to ‘Jaffas’.
I’m afraid to say that the internet did not treat Jazz with kindness over her methods, and 12,000 comments later (most of which said “YOU DID NOT JUST BITE INTO IT” and “Every Brit watching this screamed HIT IT ON THE TABLE”), she’s had to issue a formal, very funny, apology.
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Speaking to the camera in classic influencer-done-wrong style, she says: “I am here to make an apology video to the entirety of the United Kingdom.
“I did something yesterday that was very offensive, and I didn’t know that it was very offensive until you guys were calling me out on it.”
She argues that the Terry’s Chocolate Orange should really come with instructions – which is a fair point.
“This was something that you all collectively knew, that I did not know,” Jazz says, before correctly smacking the chocolate on the table for it to fall apart.
She then says: “Oh, ooooh! I get it!
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“I do hope the UK can forgive me for biting into that thing. I’m sorry.”
The player celebrations from Stockport County’s League Two trophy presentation are glorious
Danny Jones
If you’re a Stockport County fan, you’ve had a very good year as the Hatters have just been crowned League Two champions and will be back in the English third tier next season – safe to say they’ve been making most of the trophy celebrations.
Players and staff very much included.
Edgeley was filled with flares and even people climbing on rooftops when they officially secured promotion back to League One for the first time in 12 years – the second time they’ve managed to go up in three seasons – and there was a great attendance in Stockport town centre for the bus parade.
But it was last week’s trophy presentation back at the stadium that produced some of the most memorable scenes, with County topping off a season of impressive and often high-scoring performances on the pitch with plenty more pageantry. Cue the music.
— Stockport (C)ounty (@StockportCounty) May 3, 2024
No one ever takes those pitch invasion ‘warnings’ seriously – not even the players.
We still haven’t stopped laughing at Kyle Knoyle.
From bringing Isaac Olaofe’s ‘Tanto’s on fire!’ chant to life to hammering home puns on names like Fraser Horsfall, no matter how obvious, these are the kind of deeply unserious celebrations we expect from a trophy presentation.
County fan or not, you’ve got to admit it looks like a good party.
It’s moments like these that players, fans and staff work hard all season for; to prat around like muppets in front of their adoring supporters. They even got assistant coach, Clint Hill, in the mix and, as it turns out, he proved to be one of the biggest ring-leaders.
We sincerely hope the Hatters keep trickling out more of these party scenes as we know there’s plenty more that fans would love to watch back.
We’re still yet to see captain Paddy Madden, who won Player of the Month for April, and the gaffer himself, Dave Challinor, who has comfortably secured his legacy as one of the club’s all-time greats.
Challinor and the club have made no secret of seriously eyeing up the Championship and who knows what else at County’s momentum continues to build, especially with a huge stadium redevelopment kicking off soon.
What do you reckon, Hatters – do you reckon a third promotion could be on the cards?
Liam Gallagher says he’ll ‘gig in Lidl’ if Co-op Live still isn’t ready – and they sound pretty game for it
Danny Jones
Following the ongoing palaver with Co-op Live, Liam Gallagher has joked that he’d happily play his scheduled gigs in a Lidl if the arena still isn’t ready – at least we think he’s joking…
With Liam Gallagher having been named as one of the first acts booked to play Co-op Live last year, many are now wondering whether the venue will even by June, with the former Oasis frontman set to play four Definitely Maybe 30th-anniversary sets. That being said, he’s come up with a solution if not.
Turns out Liam Gallagher isn’t an Aldi man, he’s team Lidl.
Vintage LG, we’ll give him that.
Obviously a bit of a tongue-in-cheek quip at the venue being sponsored by a supermarket and convenience store chain, it could have been any other competitor that the ever-witty youngest Gallagher brother picked but it somehow made it extra funny that he chose a budget brand like Lidl.
However, with the 51-year-old already having fun with stunts like voicing the tannoys on the Metrolink last year, for instance, we wouldn’t put it past him to take this joke a little further.
Better still, not that we’re getting carried away or anything but Lidl themselves seem pretty keen on the idea too; they even spent the time to build an entire setlist for the fictional show. Fair play.
Liam Gallagher @ Lidl Arena – Setlist:
– Lidl by Lidl – Champagne Superoffer – Super(market) Sonic – The Importance of Being Lidl – Tiger Roll With It – Don’t Look Back in Hanger – Some Might Save
Can you imagine? Liam Gallagher swapping the occasional tambourine shake for beeps from a barcode scanner as he moves back and forth on the conveyor belt. We know it’s absolute nonsense and we definitely shouldn’t be even remotely considering it… BUT it’s the stuff of dreams and strange things have happened.
A lot of stranger things have happened this week alone. As for the latest with Co-op Live, the Chairman and CEO of key-backers Oak View Group, Tim Leiweke, issued a full statement sharing his “sincere apologies”and insisting that they understand “there is work to be done to rebuild your trust in us.”
With the likes of Olivia Rodrigo, Peter Kay, The Black Keys and more having their gigs pulled by the venue due to numerous issues, including an air conditioning unit falling from the ceiling, fans are understandably fearful that other upcoming events could face delays or general misfortune.
Much like the venue itself, we imagine we’ll be playing catch-up on this whole saga for the foreseeable, but here’s a recap of the story so far: