Manchester restaurant creates cheeky £69 per head Valentine’s menu
Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel - but let's be honest, there's no way they didn't do this on purpose.
Top Manchester bistro Kala has revealed its Valentine’s menu for 2023 and it’s equal parts naughty, raunchy, and (if you’re a little immature like us) downright funny.
No, we’re not referring to the chef’s dishes (although they do sound absolutely stunning). Rather, the thing that caught our eye was the price: with loved-up diners being charged exactly £69 per head to enjoy the romantic supper.
Surely someone’s got to be having a laugh on this one, and we’re absolutely cackling. Their followers clearly think it’s funny too, that is if the comments on the restaurant’s recent Instagram post are anything to go by.
Shared with the simple caption “Love is in the air. Valentine’s Day bookings now open”, the original menu post on the restaurant’s page makes no reference to the tongue-in-cheek price.
Mini doughnuts with dark chocolate sauce, honeycomb ice-cream and a nice slab of home made honeycomb. / Image: Kala Bistro
Chicken liver pate, farmer’s chutney and wholemeal sourdough toast – a Kala classic. / Image: Kala Bistro
However, fans were quick to pick up on it and quickly commented with a mixture of amusement and approval – with one person simply sending a trio of crying-laughing emojis, followed by a set of clapping hands.
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Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel – but let’s be honest, there’s no way they didn’t do this on purpose.
After all, a quick look at the Valentine’s page on its website reveals this little nugget: “We always say people who love to eat are our kind of people, so HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY to all you lovers out there!”
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Read into that what you will.
The newly-revealed Valentine’s menu at Kala Bistro is priced at exactly £69 a head. / Image: Kala Bistro
One of Kala’s most recent specials, made with tuna tartare, pickled cucumber, sesame, and salt and vinegar crisps. / Image: Kala Bistro
As for the menu itself, for that £69 it offers some really good value with a total of five courses including bread and butter pudding with ‘burnt toast’ ice cream and a giant rack of lamb, salad, meatballs and gnocchi ‘to share’ as a main.
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With bread and snacks to be enjoyed before starters, followed by mains including a huge roasted lamb rack ‘to share’, desserts, and a signature sweet to finish, it all sounds more than tempting.
Think nibbles like rosemary and thyme focaccia with olive oil and sea salt or seaweed crackers with oyster emulsion, followed by starters of BBQ Hispi cabbage with romesco brown shrimp dressing and salted almonds, confit duck leg with savoury pancake, crispy rice and cucumber relish, and burrata with truffled honey, rocket and hazelnut pesto, grilled sourdough and pickled grapes.
Dark chocolate mousse, coffee caramel, hazelnut praline mousseline, vanilla ice cream. / Image: Kala Bistro
Roast rump of lamb, Shepherds pie, watercress and spinach purée. / image: Kala Bistro
For mains, choices include the aforementioned roasted rack of lamb to share with salad, lamb meatballs and gnocchi marinara, or for the couples that want their own dish, there’s roasted chicken breast, poached halibut loin, and pan-fried potato gnocchi.
And for pudding, Kala’s rhubarb and pistachio trifle is served with white chocolate and a lemon thyme cookie, whilst elsewhere on the menu you’ll find sour cherry bread and butter pudding with Maraschino and burnt toast icecream, and a blood orange choux bun filled with salted dark chocolate custard, vanilla cream and hazelnut brioche.
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Last but not least, you can also each enjoy a marshmallow Krispie to finish before heading home to enjoy a little naughty dessert of your own (or not, whatever floats your boat).
A groundbreaking new multi-use entertainment and leisure venue is coming to Manchester
Danny Jones
A new multi-purpose food, drink, entertainment and leisure destination is coming to Manchester city centre and the Salford border this autumn, and you won’t find many places that roll so much into one spot.
Mancs, get ready to welcome ‘Tangerine’.
Conceived by an impressive collective of local creatives, indies and those with plenty of experience catering to the Northern masses, Tangerine is promising everything from multiple resident kitchens, a live music hall, an arthouse stage, a specialist martini bar and more.
Better yet, after a year in the making and quietly chipping away at the striking space, it opens later this month, so you don’t have to wait long to try it for yourselves.
Located on New Bailey Street, just on the edge of Spinningfields and Salford Central, this groundbreaking new venue features two main platforms (utilising the integrated charm of the historic railway arches), each boasting its own selection of attractions.
While platform one will offer a bakery, coffee roastery, wine store and bottle ship, the ‘Canteen Club’ and even a florist, number two will contain the music hall, arthouse stage and the stylish ‘Grand Departures’ bar – serving seven espresso martini alone – Tangerine will deliver a seamless day to night transition.
Arguably, however, the centrepiece is the ‘Cantina Collective’. The food and drink hall promises seven in-house kitchens, showcasing a variety of cuisines.
The opening line-up already confirmed includes Vanda: a family-run Parisian-inspired Ukrainian bakery; Mexican taqueria, PANTERA, burger joint Juicy, as well as Yo Dutchie (a unique fusion of Dutch-Japanese food) and a new Korean/ramen concept from local sushi favourites, Unagi.
Our stomachs are already grumbling just thinking about it.
CGI renders of the completed space. (Credit: Supplied)
Designed not only by the brains behind Northern Quarter’s beloved Mala hidden garden but WANT STUDIOS, who will be ensuring local artists, independents, and traders will be regularly spotlighted, the site will boast a capacity of well over 300 people.
Artyom Dmitrijev, owner of Tangerine and Mala, said in a statement: “Over a year in the making, we’ve used all our experience in design, interiors, architecture and hospitality to create our dream project. A place for all the independents to come together and thrive.”
Andy Windsor, Director of WANT STUDIOS, added: “Tangerine unites the city’s independent kitchens, bar tenders, bakeries and entertainment specialists. It is a unique showcase of what we do in the city. This is a new space for creativity, food, and culture, and we’re proud to be part of it.”
Debuting to the public with a big Halloween weekender on the evening of Friday, 31 October, with another launch event the following Saturday, you can sign up for exclusive early access for free, which could see you score a few freebies to boot.
Featured Images — Press shots (supplied)/Tangerine MCR (via Instagram)
Eats
Bottomless curry deal returns to popular Manchester Indian restaurant Zouk
Danny Jones
One of the best-loved Indians in Manchester has relaunched its bottomless curry offering and is chucking in free rice and naans to boot.
Zouk over on Chester Street has brought back its endless curry, rice and naan deal to ease the last of those January blues.
Every night this week, you’ll be able to tuck into a full buffet of the tea bar and grill’s award-winning, authentic curries, showcasing dishes from all over the Indian subcontinent.
Costing just £20 a head, you can feast until your heart’s content on some of the very best curries in the city – no exaggeration.
What does ‘bottomless curry’ night at Zouk look like?
The bottomless curry deal at Zouk first ran this year back in January, but it’s now back for National Curry Week (6-12 October 2025), and we can’t wait to stuff ourselves silly yet again.
Every single day, there’ll be four different curries to choose from, always including two meat options, a vegetarian curry and a vegan dish.
What exactly can you get on Zouk’s bottomless offer?
As mentioned, each booking also includes unlimited rice and naan to go with your curry of choice.
Tables are for 90 minutes per booking, giving guests plenty of time to take on the increasingly popular bottomless curry challenge.
Question is, do you have the stomach for it?
With an ever-rotating selection of curries inspired by various distinct regions and speciality cuisines, you’re not short on variety either. You can see Zouk‘s current bottomless curry menu in full below:
Monday
Chicken Karahi – A speciality from the Northwest region of Pakistan. Tender pieces of chicken cooking in a sizzling wok over hot flames with tomatoes, crushed peppercorns, cumin, ginger and garlic.
Lamb and Potatoes – Tender chunks of lamb cooked with new potatoes, yoghurt, tomatoes and garlic.
Mutter Paneer (V) – Indian Paneer cheese with new potatoes, yoghurt, tomatoes and garlic.
Chole Masala (VG) – From Delhi to Punjab, this authentic channa masala is a tasty street food classic.
Tuesday
Tamater Kadei Murgh – A delicious chicken and tomato curry cooked with mild spices. Perfect with rice or bread
Lamb Do Pyaaza – Medium-spiced North Indian speciality: tender pieces of lamb slowly cooked with lavish amounts of caramelised onions in a spicy masala
Tarka Dall (V) – Channa and mung lentils cooked in a spicy sauce
Gobi Mutter (VG) – Spicy cauliflower sautéed in a rich tomato masala with peas
Wednesday
Chicken Do Payaza – Spiced North Indian chicken dish with tomatoes and caramelised onions
Lamb & Bindi – Tender pieces of lamb cooked in a spicy masala with ‘lady fingers’ (okra)
Chole Masala (V) – Authentic channa masala is a tasty street food classic
Mili Juli Sabzi (VG) – Fresh vegetables fused together with herbs and spices
Over the halfway hump, room for more? (Credit: The Manc Eats)
Thursday
Chicken Tikka Masala – A simple classic chicken tikka masala. Chicken pieces marinated in yoghurt tossed inside a balti of garlic and ginger.
Lamb Rogan Josh – A speciality from Jammu and Kashmir, with chillies and juicy tomatoes.
Dall Makhani (V) – Black lentils in a smooth and creamy sauce.
Palak Aloo (VG) – Spinach leaf and fenugreek cooked with new potatoes and coriander.
Friday
Chicken Handi – Punjabi-style chicken curry slowly cooked over burning flames with tomatoes, onions, garlic and Zouk’s special garam masala.
Lamb Jalfrezi – Lamb pieces cooked with capsicum, onions and tomatoes in a thick spicy sauce.
Bengan do Pyaza (V) – A medium-spiced North Indian dish of aubergine cooked with tomatoes, spices and lavish amounts of onions.
Bindi Do Pyaza (VG) – A medium-spiced North Indian dish of Okra cooked with tomatoes, spices and lavish amounts of onions.
And now we’re stuffed…
If you’re looking for somewhere to get bottomless curry in Manchester, this is the place for you. (Credit: The Manc)
Zouk has become one of Manchester’s leading restaurants since it opened in 2009, even drawing in famous fans like Rihanna, Drake, Manchester United stars and, of course, many a Mancs each and every day – because there’s never a bad time for a curry.
Available all throughout this week, you can make the most of this incredible bottomless curry deal like we do every year and trust us, Manchester: it genuinely NEVER disappoints.
You can find more information – including all terms and conditions – on the website and book your visit HERE, or over the phone on 0161 2331 090.
Georgina Pellant -
19th January 2023 
