Manchester restaurant creates cheeky £69 per head Valentine’s menu
Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel - but let's be honest, there's no way they didn't do this on purpose.
Top Manchester bistro Kala has revealed its Valentine’s menu for 2023 and it’s equal parts naughty, raunchy, and (if you’re a little immature like us) downright funny.
No, we’re not referring to the chef’s dishes (although they do sound absolutely stunning). Rather, the thing that caught our eye was the price: with loved-up diners being charged exactly £69 per head to enjoy the romantic supper.
Surely someone’s got to be having a laugh on this one, and we’re absolutely cackling. Their followers clearly think it’s funny too, that is if the comments on the restaurant’s recent Instagram post are anything to go by.
Shared with the simple caption “Love is in the air. Valentine’s Day bookings now open”, the original menu post on the restaurant’s page makes no reference to the tongue-in-cheek price.
Mini doughnuts with dark chocolate sauce, honeycomb ice-cream and a nice slab of home made honeycomb. / Image: Kala Bistro
Chicken liver pate, farmer’s chutney and wholemeal sourdough toast – a Kala classic. / Image: Kala Bistro
However, fans were quick to pick up on it and quickly commented with a mixture of amusement and approval – with one person simply sending a trio of crying-laughing emojis, followed by a set of clapping hands.
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Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel – but let’s be honest, there’s no way they didn’t do this on purpose.
After all, a quick look at the Valentine’s page on its website reveals this little nugget: “We always say people who love to eat are our kind of people, so HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY to all you lovers out there!”
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Read into that what you will.
The newly-revealed Valentine’s menu at Kala Bistro is priced at exactly £69 a head. / Image: Kala Bistro
One of Kala’s most recent specials, made with tuna tartare, pickled cucumber, sesame, and salt and vinegar crisps. / Image: Kala Bistro
As for the menu itself, for that £69 it offers some really good value with a total of five courses including bread and butter pudding with ‘burnt toast’ ice cream and a giant rack of lamb, salad, meatballs and gnocchi ‘to share’ as a main.
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With bread and snacks to be enjoyed before starters, followed by mains including a huge roasted lamb rack ‘to share’, desserts, and a signature sweet to finish, it all sounds more than tempting.
Think nibbles like rosemary and thyme focaccia with olive oil and sea salt or seaweed crackers with oyster emulsion, followed by starters of BBQ Hispi cabbage with romesco brown shrimp dressing and salted almonds, confit duck leg with savoury pancake, crispy rice and cucumber relish, and burrata with truffled honey, rocket and hazelnut pesto, grilled sourdough and pickled grapes.
Dark chocolate mousse, coffee caramel, hazelnut praline mousseline, vanilla ice cream. / Image: Kala Bistro
Roast rump of lamb, Shepherds pie, watercress and spinach purée. / image: Kala Bistro
For mains, choices include the aforementioned roasted rack of lamb to share with salad, lamb meatballs and gnocchi marinara, or for the couples that want their own dish, there’s roasted chicken breast, poached halibut loin, and pan-fried potato gnocchi.
And for pudding, Kala’s rhubarb and pistachio trifle is served with white chocolate and a lemon thyme cookie, whilst elsewhere on the menu you’ll find sour cherry bread and butter pudding with Maraschino and burnt toast icecream, and a blood orange choux bun filled with salted dark chocolate custard, vanilla cream and hazelnut brioche.
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Last but not least, you can also each enjoy a marshmallow Krispie to finish before heading home to enjoy a little naughty dessert of your own (or not, whatever floats your boat).
Three Manchester pubs are officially serving some of the best Guinness in the UK
Daisy Jackson
Guinness has released the first edition of its Harp Guide, which has highlighted the best pubs around the UK to grab a pint of the black stuff – and three are here in Manchester.
The iconic Irish brewery has singled out just 35 British pubs that are serving worthy pints of Guinness stout.
Of the three in Manchester that made the list, one is a legendary Irish pub in the city centre, while the other two are neighbours out in the suburbs.
Up first is – unsurprisingly – Mulligans of Deansgate, an authentic Irish pub in the heart of Manchester city centre that’s been a popular watering hole for Mancs for more than a century, selling more than 13,000 pints a week.
The pub expanded last year and now has two spaces – its traditional, den-like ground floor, and its much larger live music space with vaulted ceilings upstairs.
Pádraig Brady, owner of Mulligans, said: “Being recognised in the inaugural Guinness Harp Guide is a real privilege.
“It’s no secret that every pub gets the same kegs of Guinness delivered, but what makes the difference is everything that happens after that.
“The right equipment, correct cellar procedures and conditions, staff who know how to pour it perfectly, the atmosphere, the daily live music – it all matters. We’ve always focused on doing things consistently, and being the sole Manchester city centre pub in the guide is testament to that consistency.”
Mulligans in Manchester is in the Guinness Harp Guide. Credit: The Manc Group
Next in the Harp Guide is Kennedy’s in Didsbury, a pub which has only been open since August following the success of its original location in Altrincham.
The pub recently welcomed Yard & Coop into its kitchens too, so you can get a traditional Irish spice bag with your Guinness.
Kennedy’s said: “We are super excited to announce that we, amongst 34 other bars across GB, have been selected for the Offical Guinness Harp Guide 2026.
“Not only is this an exceptional achievement within the Guinness community, but it’s an accolade that represents everything we work towards here at Kennedy’s Irish Bar.
“The Guinness Harp Guide celebrates those few bars that capture the warmth, character, and vibrancy that makes enjoying a Guinness so special, and of course, those that serve beautiful Guinness’.”
Completing the list is The Station pub, also in Didsbury, a cosy local favourite and key stop on the legendary Didsbury Dozen pub crawl.
This popular Irish pub has sports, live music three nights a week and a serious love of Guinness – and now it’s officially one of Britain’s best spots to drink it.
These are officially the spots to head if you’re a discerning Guinness fan.
Inside Portfolio, the UK’s first ‘champagne boutique’ and bar in Manchester
Daisy Jackson
A brand-new ‘champagne boutique’ is opening in Manchester this week, boasting more than 250 different champagnes to our city.
Portfolio will be a new bar and ‘immersive wine experience’, which will have one of the largest and most diverse champagne collections in the UK.
Mancs will be able to order champagne by the glass from just £12.50, along with plenty of accessible bottles.
To kick things off, Portfolio will open with a bar food offering that includes Welsh charcuterie, British cheeses and accoutrements, created by co-founder Julian Pizer, formerly of Another Hand and the Edinburgh Castle.
But later down the line, there’ll be a fun, relaxed tasting menu, ranging from a few bites to a full dining experience, obviously paired with the best champagne list in the country.
Inside Portfolio, you’ll be greeted by a striking champagne wall of 100 different bottles, plus a wall of photos from the team’s trips to Champagne in France.
Every drink will be served in exclusive Lehmann glassware imported from Reims, with more than 10 different glass styles and a strict no flutes policy.
There’ll be an open chef’s pass and sommelier station with bar seating, plus a working champagne cellar that will function as a private dining room and event space.
Portfolio champagne boutique opens in Manchester. Credit: The Manc Group
Julian Pizer has created Portfolio with Cameron Foster, founder of Duex Six which specialises in providing exclusive grower champagnes to the UK.
They’ll be joined by Wayne Baxendale as food and beverage director, who has more than 30 years of global wine experience including from Michelin starred restaurants, and Nikolai Kuklenko as general manager, who previously held a role as Head Sommelier at Mana.
Portfolio will be a wine boutique packed with rare grower bottles and vintage prestige cuvées and hopes to ‘strip away the snobbery and make champagne accessible’.
As well as well known names, guests will be able to enjoy rare and highly sought-after cuvées, including Jacques Selosse, Ulysse Collin, Jérôme Prévost, Cédric Bouchard, Larmandier Bernier and Egly Ouriet.
There will also be vintage prestige cuvées from Cristal, Philipponnat, Pommery, Jacquesson, Pierre Peters and Bollinger, some dating back to the 1990s.
As Cameron Foster explains: “We want to strip back the snobbery of Champagne and make it a wine for everyone, whether that’s a quick glass after work, a special celebration, or discovering grower champagne for the first time.”
Portfolio will open on 9 December at 67 Bridge Street, Manchester, with the full restaurant experience launching in February 2026.
Georgina Pellant -
19th January 2023 
