Manchester restaurant creates cheeky £69 per head Valentine’s menu
Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel - but let's be honest, there's no way they didn't do this on purpose.
Top Manchester bistro Kala has revealed its Valentine’s menu for 2023 and it’s equal parts naughty, raunchy, and (if you’re a little immature like us) downright funny.
No, we’re not referring to the chef’s dishes (although they do sound absolutely stunning). Rather, the thing that caught our eye was the price: with loved-up diners being charged exactly £69 per head to enjoy the romantic supper.
Surely someone’s got to be having a laugh on this one, and we’re absolutely cackling. Their followers clearly think it’s funny too, that is if the comments on the restaurant’s recent Instagram post are anything to go by.
Shared with the simple caption “Love is in the air. Valentine’s Day bookings now open”, the original menu post on the restaurant’s page makes no reference to the tongue-in-cheek price.
Mini doughnuts with dark chocolate sauce, honeycomb ice-cream and a nice slab of home made honeycomb. / Image: Kala Bistro
Chicken liver pate, farmer’s chutney and wholemeal sourdough toast – a Kala classic. / Image: Kala Bistro
However, fans were quick to pick up on it and quickly commented with a mixture of amusement and approval – with one person simply sending a trio of crying-laughing emojis, followed by a set of clapping hands.
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Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel – but let’s be honest, there’s no way they didn’t do this on purpose.
After all, a quick look at the Valentine’s page on its website reveals this little nugget: “We always say people who love to eat are our kind of people, so HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY to all you lovers out there!”
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Read into that what you will.
The newly-revealed Valentine’s menu at Kala Bistro is priced at exactly £69 a head. / Image: Kala Bistro
One of Kala’s most recent specials, made with tuna tartare, pickled cucumber, sesame, and salt and vinegar crisps. / Image: Kala Bistro
As for the menu itself, for that £69 it offers some really good value with a total of five courses including bread and butter pudding with ‘burnt toast’ ice cream and a giant rack of lamb, salad, meatballs and gnocchi ‘to share’ as a main.
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With bread and snacks to be enjoyed before starters, followed by mains including a huge roasted lamb rack ‘to share’, desserts, and a signature sweet to finish, it all sounds more than tempting.
Think nibbles like rosemary and thyme focaccia with olive oil and sea salt or seaweed crackers with oyster emulsion, followed by starters of BBQ Hispi cabbage with romesco brown shrimp dressing and salted almonds, confit duck leg with savoury pancake, crispy rice and cucumber relish, and burrata with truffled honey, rocket and hazelnut pesto, grilled sourdough and pickled grapes.
Dark chocolate mousse, coffee caramel, hazelnut praline mousseline, vanilla ice cream. / Image: Kala Bistro
Roast rump of lamb, Shepherds pie, watercress and spinach purée. / image: Kala Bistro
For mains, choices include the aforementioned roasted rack of lamb to share with salad, lamb meatballs and gnocchi marinara, or for the couples that want their own dish, there’s roasted chicken breast, poached halibut loin, and pan-fried potato gnocchi.
And for pudding, Kala’s rhubarb and pistachio trifle is served with white chocolate and a lemon thyme cookie, whilst elsewhere on the menu you’ll find sour cherry bread and butter pudding with Maraschino and burnt toast icecream, and a blood orange choux bun filled with salted dark chocolate custard, vanilla cream and hazelnut brioche.
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Last but not least, you can also each enjoy a marshmallow Krispie to finish before heading home to enjoy a little naughty dessert of your own (or not, whatever floats your boat).
Hawksmoor issues statement after ‘kicking out’ Tommy Robinson from one of its restaurants
Daisy Jackson
Hawksmoor has issued a statement after a viral video captured far-right activist Tommy Robinson being asked to leave one of its restaurants.
In the video, staff at the acclaimed British steak house told Robinson – real name Stephen Yaxley-Lennon – that he would have to go because members of staff feel uncomfortable serving you’.
The supervisor then politely told the party not to worry about the drinks and that they had been paid for, also handing over a business card for Hawksmoor CEO Will Beckett in case they wanted to discuss the matter further.
Robinson was dining in one of the group’s London restaurants with former prominent EDL member Guramit Singh Kalirai who challenged the staff and asked: “Is it because of the colour of my skin?”
The supervisor responded: “No, no, no. We have a duty of care to our members of staff. We like to look after our people, as I’m sure you can understand.”
After the video went viral on X, Hawksmoor went on to share a statement in response, saying that guests and staff ‘felt uncomfortable and complained’.
The statement, signed by CEO Will Beckett, added that the Hawksmoor team has faced ‘a huge amount’ of ‘quite concerning’ fallout from the Tommy Robinson incident.
He added that ‘this was not about politics or beliefs’.
Hawksmoor’s statement reads: “Our focus is always to give the best restaurant experience to the most people possible.
“On Thursday, a public figure was asked to leave one of our restaurants because guests and staff felt uncomfortable and had complained. The party left peacefully and politely on request.
“This was not about politics or beliefs. Hawksmoor is not a political organisation; we’re a group of restaurants. We want to welcome as many people as possible, regardless of background or views, to our teams or as our guests.
“We’re not trying to engage in a public debate. The team has had to deal with a huge amount of fallout from this, some of which is quite concerning. We would like to get back to focussing on looking after those people, and our guests. Thank you to them, and the many of you who have been so supportive.”
Indie food and drink festival to return to popular Greater Manchester town for second year
Emily Sergeant
A food and drink festival shining a spotlight on independent businesses is returning to Greater Manchester this summer.
Following the success of last year’s tasty debut, Urmston’s very-own independent food and drink festival, YUM! – Your Urmston Matters, is back for its second serving later this month, and will once again be transforming the Trafford town’s M41 site on Railway Road into a buzzing hub of ‘flavour, fun, and local pride’.
Organised by Love Urmston and hosted by Urmston resident and food and drink presenter, Matty White, this community celebration will bring together top local street food vendors, artisan producers, and drink retailers, alongside live cooking demos, family activities, and loads of entertainment.
Now in its second year, YUM! continues to shine a spotlight on Urmston’s indie food scene and the passion of the people behind it, but as well as local residents, it also invites the rest of Trafford and the wider Greater Manchester community to come together.
So whether you just live down the road, or you are discovering the town for the first time, everyone is welcome to pop down.
“Bringing YUM! back for a second year is incredibly exciting,” commented Fred Davids, who is the Chair of the Love Urmston committee.
“It’s a brilliant way to celebrate what makes Urmston special – its community, and fantastic food and drink scene, welcoming people from near and far to experience the town at its best.
“And as a committee, we’re proud to support our incredible local independent businesses who put their heart and soul into everything they do.”
YUM! is returning to Urmston for another delicious festival this month / Credit: Emma Boyle (via Supplied)
Just some of the independent businesses you’ll find at the festival throughout the day include English Rose Bakery, Inforno Pizzeria, Dan’s Cookies, Banga Curries, JJ’s Caribbean Kitchen, The Greek Village, Pomona Island Brewery, Kelder Wines, and so many more.
The festival is also proudly sponsored by Gecko Homes – a north west property developer that specialises in creating affordable and shared ownership homes across many of Manchester’s most popular suburbs.
You can read more about what Gecko Homes is doing across the region here.
Georgina Pellant -
19th January 2023 
