Manchester restaurant creates cheeky £69 per head Valentine’s menu
Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel - but let's be honest, there's no way they didn't do this on purpose.
Top Manchester bistro Kala has revealed its Valentine’s menu for 2023 and it’s equal parts naughty, raunchy, and (if you’re a little immature like us) downright funny.
No, we’re not referring to the chef’s dishes (although they do sound absolutely stunning). Rather, the thing that caught our eye was the price: with loved-up diners being charged exactly £69 per head to enjoy the romantic supper.
Surely someone’s got to be having a laugh on this one, and we’re absolutely cackling. Their followers clearly think it’s funny too, that is if the comments on the restaurant’s recent Instagram post are anything to go by.
Shared with the simple caption “Love is in the air. Valentine’s Day bookings now open”, the original menu post on the restaurant’s page makes no reference to the tongue-in-cheek price.
Mini doughnuts with dark chocolate sauce, honeycomb ice-cream and a nice slab of home made honeycomb. / Image: Kala Bistro
Chicken liver pate, farmer’s chutney and wholemeal sourdough toast – a Kala classic. / Image: Kala Bistro
However, fans were quick to pick up on it and quickly commented with a mixture of amusement and approval – with one person simply sending a trio of crying-laughing emojis, followed by a set of clapping hands.
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Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel – but let’s be honest, there’s no way they didn’t do this on purpose.
After all, a quick look at the Valentine’s page on its website reveals this little nugget: “We always say people who love to eat are our kind of people, so HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY to all you lovers out there!”
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Read into that what you will.
The newly-revealed Valentine’s menu at Kala Bistro is priced at exactly £69 a head. / Image: Kala Bistro
One of Kala’s most recent specials, made with tuna tartare, pickled cucumber, sesame, and salt and vinegar crisps. / Image: Kala Bistro
As for the menu itself, for that £69 it offers some really good value with a total of five courses including bread and butter pudding with ‘burnt toast’ ice cream and a giant rack of lamb, salad, meatballs and gnocchi ‘to share’ as a main.
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With bread and snacks to be enjoyed before starters, followed by mains including a huge roasted lamb rack ‘to share’, desserts, and a signature sweet to finish, it all sounds more than tempting.
Think nibbles like rosemary and thyme focaccia with olive oil and sea salt or seaweed crackers with oyster emulsion, followed by starters of BBQ Hispi cabbage with romesco brown shrimp dressing and salted almonds, confit duck leg with savoury pancake, crispy rice and cucumber relish, and burrata with truffled honey, rocket and hazelnut pesto, grilled sourdough and pickled grapes.
Dark chocolate mousse, coffee caramel, hazelnut praline mousseline, vanilla ice cream. / Image: Kala Bistro
Roast rump of lamb, Shepherds pie, watercress and spinach purée. / image: Kala Bistro
For mains, choices include the aforementioned roasted rack of lamb to share with salad, lamb meatballs and gnocchi marinara, or for the couples that want their own dish, there’s roasted chicken breast, poached halibut loin, and pan-fried potato gnocchi.
And for pudding, Kala’s rhubarb and pistachio trifle is served with white chocolate and a lemon thyme cookie, whilst elsewhere on the menu you’ll find sour cherry bread and butter pudding with Maraschino and burnt toast icecream, and a blood orange choux bun filled with salted dark chocolate custard, vanilla cream and hazelnut brioche.
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Last but not least, you can also each enjoy a marshmallow Krispie to finish before heading home to enjoy a little naughty dessert of your own (or not, whatever floats your boat).
Popular chocolate cafe announces shock closure in yet another blow for Ancoats
Daisy Jackson
Ancoats has lost another great independent – chocolate cafe Cocoa Cabana has announced it’s taken the ‘difficult decision’ to shut down in the trendy neighbourhood.
The popular spot, famed for its chocolate-laden afternoon teas, Dubai pistachio bars, and smores platters (to name a few), said that it has become ‘unsustainable’ to continue operating in Ancoats.
Cocoa Cabana said that’s it’s been faced with a 200% increase the cost of chocolate, along with increases in the prices of ingredients, wages, and business rates.
And so they’re taking the decision to ‘downsize and refocus’ after ‘incredibly challenging years’.
Their West Didsbury site will remain open, as will their online store and their Selfridges Trafford Centre concession where you can buy their artisan chocolate products.
Founder Sarah said: “On a personal note, after 12 years of running Cocoa Cabana, this decision comes with a lot of emotion – but also hope.
“I’m looking forward to the chance to focus on our chocolate, new opportunities and maybe even take a little time to spend with family and friends.
“Thank you so much to everyone who’s supported us in Ancoats. You’ve made this journey incredibly special.”
Pistachio Dubai bars at Cocoa CabanaChocolate fondue at Cocoa Cabana in AncoatsThe cafe in Ancoats was famed for its viral, indulgent sweet treats
Taking its place will be Spanish restaurant Can Petit, which has already been operating as an evening pop-up in the space.
The closure of Cocoa Cabana follows a difficult run for the neighbourhood, which has lost the likes of Sugo Pasta Kitchen (then Rigatoni’s), Hip Hop Chip Shop, and Trove in the last year.
Thankfully there are still some great new businesses moving in, such as Bruco, Ancoats Deli, and Bangkok Diners Club.
You can read the full statement on the closure of Cocoa Cabana Ancoats below
It’s with a heavy heart that we’re announcing the closure of our Ancoats venue, with our final day of service on Sunday 8th June.
We opened our doors in 2019 with big dreams and so much excitement, creating a beautiful space we were truly proud of. Sadly, just six months later, we were forced to close during Covid. Like many in hospitality, the years that followed have been incredibly challenging.
Despite our best efforts, the rising costs of ingredients, wages, business rates – and a 200% increase in the cost of chocolate – have made it unsustainable for us to continue operating in Ancoats. As a result, we’ve made the difficult decision to downsize and refocus.
We’ve loved being part of the vibrant Ancoats food scene and while we’re sad to say goodbye, we’re genuinely thrilled to be handing over the reins to @canpetit_ – a fantastic Spanish tapas venture that’s already been making waves as an evening pop-up in our space. Led by the incredibly talented chefs David and Jorge, we know they’ll continue to bring something special to the neighbourhood.
Our West Didsbury site remains open as usual (where all gift vouchers remain valid) and you can still shop online or visit us at our Trafford Centre concession at Selfridges 7 days a week.
On a personal note, after 12 years of running Cocoa Cabana, this decision comes with a lot of emotion – but also hope. I’m looking forward to the chance to focus on our chocolate, new opportunities and maybe even take a little time to spend with family and friends.
Thank you so much to everyone who’s supported us in Ancoats. You’ve made this journey incredibly special. 💗🙏🏻
Two Lilo and Stitch-themed cafes are coming to Manchester for the summer
Thomas Melia
Two new Lilo and Stitch-themed cafes are coming to Manchester for the summer.
With the long-awaited live action adaptation of the Disney classic Lilo & Stitch hitting cinemas this month, both Primark cafes in Manchester are receiving a Hawaiian-themed makeover.
Everyone’s favourite in-store cafe is back with another much-loved franchise, and this time its one of Disney cutest cartoon duos.
Both of Manchester‘s Primark cafes – the one off Market Street in the city centre, and inside Trafford Palazzo – will be transformed with themed decor and will receive an updated menu featuring food items inspired by Hawaii, which is where the film is based, of course.
Two Lilo and Stitch-themed cafes are coming to Manchester for the summer / Credit: Primark
Diners can expect a variety of Stitch-themed treats, including grilled toasties and waffles, and even refreshments like shakes, smoothies and lemonades.
All food and drink ordered from the themed cafes will be decorated with tropical-inspired packaging featuring some cute little stickers of the main blue guy himself on drinks.
The arrival of the Lilo & Stitch cafe does, of course, mean that Primark’s popular The Simpsons-themed cafe may be no more, but they couldn’t get rid of Homer’s favourite delicacy that easily, as instead, this sugary staple has been kept on the menu but just given a Lilo & Stitch twist.
Not only that, but the fashion giant will continue championing this much-loved franchise with over 100 new products ready for you to say ‘Aloha’ in style this summer.
Primark has a soft spot for Stitch, stocking products inspired by the adorable Disney character since 2016 – with everything from sleepwear and accessories to swim costumes and suitcases.
You can even buy an exclusive plush of Stitch that recreates his iconic pose from the upcoming live adaptation.
The ‘Lilo & Stitch’ cafe is coming to both of Manchester’s Primark locations including Market Street and Trafford Centre from 9 May ahead of the live adaptation coming to cinemas on 21 May.
Georgina Pellant -
19th January 2023 
