Manchester restaurant creates cheeky £69 per head Valentine’s menu
Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel - but let's be honest, there's no way they didn't do this on purpose.
Top Manchester bistro Kala has revealed its Valentine’s menu for 2023 and it’s equal parts naughty, raunchy, and (if you’re a little immature like us) downright funny.
No, we’re not referring to the chef’s dishes (although they do sound absolutely stunning). Rather, the thing that caught our eye was the price: with loved-up diners being charged exactly £69 per head to enjoy the romantic supper.
Surely someone’s got to be having a laugh on this one, and we’re absolutely cackling. Their followers clearly think it’s funny too, that is if the comments on the restaurant’s recent Instagram post are anything to go by.
Shared with the simple caption “Love is in the air. Valentine’s Day bookings now open”, the original menu post on the restaurant’s page makes no reference to the tongue-in-cheek price.
Mini doughnuts with dark chocolate sauce, honeycomb ice-cream and a nice slab of home made honeycomb. / Image: Kala Bistro
Chicken liver pate, farmer’s chutney and wholemeal sourdough toast – a Kala classic. / Image: Kala Bistro
However, fans were quick to pick up on it and quickly commented with a mixture of amusement and approval – with one person simply sending a trio of crying-laughing emojis, followed by a set of clapping hands.
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Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel – but let’s be honest, there’s no way they didn’t do this on purpose.
After all, a quick look at the Valentine’s page on its website reveals this little nugget: “We always say people who love to eat are our kind of people, so HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY to all you lovers out there!”
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Read into that what you will.
The newly-revealed Valentine’s menu at Kala Bistro is priced at exactly £69 a head. / Image: Kala Bistro
One of Kala’s most recent specials, made with tuna tartare, pickled cucumber, sesame, and salt and vinegar crisps. / Image: Kala Bistro
As for the menu itself, for that £69 it offers some really good value with a total of five courses including bread and butter pudding with ‘burnt toast’ ice cream and a giant rack of lamb, salad, meatballs and gnocchi ‘to share’ as a main.
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With bread and snacks to be enjoyed before starters, followed by mains including a huge roasted lamb rack ‘to share’, desserts, and a signature sweet to finish, it all sounds more than tempting.
Think nibbles like rosemary and thyme focaccia with olive oil and sea salt or seaweed crackers with oyster emulsion, followed by starters of BBQ Hispi cabbage with romesco brown shrimp dressing and salted almonds, confit duck leg with savoury pancake, crispy rice and cucumber relish, and burrata with truffled honey, rocket and hazelnut pesto, grilled sourdough and pickled grapes.
Dark chocolate mousse, coffee caramel, hazelnut praline mousseline, vanilla ice cream. / Image: Kala Bistro
Roast rump of lamb, Shepherds pie, watercress and spinach purée. / image: Kala Bistro
For mains, choices include the aforementioned roasted rack of lamb to share with salad, lamb meatballs and gnocchi marinara, or for the couples that want their own dish, there’s roasted chicken breast, poached halibut loin, and pan-fried potato gnocchi.
And for pudding, Kala’s rhubarb and pistachio trifle is served with white chocolate and a lemon thyme cookie, whilst elsewhere on the menu you’ll find sour cherry bread and butter pudding with Maraschino and burnt toast icecream, and a blood orange choux bun filled with salted dark chocolate custard, vanilla cream and hazelnut brioche.
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Last but not least, you can also each enjoy a marshmallow Krispie to finish before heading home to enjoy a little naughty dessert of your own (or not, whatever floats your boat).
The Didsbury Dozen loses one of its best as The Dockyard confirms closure
Danny Jones
The Didsbury Dozen has lost one of its strongest stops as the much-loved Dockyard sadly closed for good this past weekend.
A favourite among those taking on the popular Greater Manchester pub crawl and a busy bar in its own right along the main Didsbury Village strip, The Dockyard has been a staple of South Manchester boozing for some time.
However, it’s time as part of the Dozen and in the heart of the community has come to an end, with the staff having completed their final service on Sunday, 19 January.
Sharing a short but heartfelt goodbye on social media, they welcomed customers to join them one last time “to raise a glass and say cheers!”.
An unreal beer garden too. (Credit: The Manc Group)
The post begins: “Right Didsbury… Thank you so much for your welcome and custom when we arrived here in the village, but the time has now come to say goodbye. We have had a blast over the last four years and we hope you have too!”
Although many relatively new to the area or at least its drinking scene will only know it as The Dockyard, the venue has actually been under a lot of names over the years.
Originally known as Times Square, it was then refurbished into a branch of O’Neills in 1996 before going on to re-open as The Stokers Arms in 2014.
Nevertheless, it maintained a regular and loyal following as The Dockyard and many will be “sorry to see it go”; one person commented: “Oh no! We had a fab time in here over Christmas and [were] hoping to return soon. Sorry to see you go and I will be visiting your other sites.
Thankfully, they did go on to confirm that the remaining pubs in Salford Quays and Northwich will remain open – as is the Left Bank location in Spinningfields overlooking the River Irwell. Better still, the building itself will still remain a pub and we already know what’s taking its place:
Although there is still no news on when we can expect to see The Salmon’s second venture launch, if it’s anything like the success the Northern Quarter one has seen then we’re in for a treat.
So don’t worry, The Didsbury Dozen may have taken a hit but it’s still intact and there are plenty of other pubs you can work into the crawl in the meantime.
For now, though, all we can say is rest in peace to The Dockyard Didsbury, you were a real one – we’ll always have the memories.
Michelin guide Prestwich restaurant Osma announces heartbreaking closure
Daisy Jackson
Osma, a beautiful, Michelin-recommended restaurant in Prestwich, has announced its closure next month.
The Scandi-esque restaurant has been a front-runner of Prestwich’s ever-growing food and drink scene since it opened in 2020.
Fronted by Manchester born Danielle Heron, who you might recognise from the Great British Menu and MasterChef: The Professionals 2024, alongside Sofie Stoermann-Naess.
Osma has been a favourite among Prestwich locals over the last five years, famed for its inventive small plates and delicious Sunday roasts – but now its time in the suburb has come to an end.
In a statement shared online, Osma said that they have ‘struggled to find experience staff, leaving us with little to no personal life’.
The restaurant has teased a move into the city centre, where it’s hoped the business will be more sustainable and ready to grow.
“This is by no means the end of Osma,” they wrote.
Their kitchen at Exhibition in the city centre will remain open even after Osma in Prestwich closes on Sunday 9 February.
Osma in Prestwich has announced its closure. Credit: Instagram, @osmakitchenbar
Other food and drink businesses in the village have all been sharing farewell messages, with The Pearl commenting: “Prestwich’s foodie foundations will be very wobbly without the OG cornerstone that welcomed the ‘foodie neighbourhood’ accolades. Good luck in town both, we’ll definitely come and visit the new place.”
Whole Bunch Wines, formerly known as Grape to Grain, said: “Absolutely devastating news for Prestwich. A HUGE loss but a sign of their quality that they’re forced to move.”
Osma’s full statement reads: “Neighbours & Friends. We’ve spoken with some of you already, but it’s time to make it official. It’s with a heavy heart, but excitement for the future, that we have decided to close our Prestwich restaurant ahead of a move to the city centre.
“Being fully transparent – we’ve struggled to find experienced staff, leaving us with little to no personal life. We have made the decision to move on to what we hope will be a more sustainable business that can grow, and allow us more time to follow our dreams. This is by no means the end of OSMA.
“We’re optimistic, but it’s bittersweet. After (almost!) five years we have met so many amazing and incredible people, who we’re proud to call our friends and OSMA family. So many of you have kept coming back week after week – we feel honoured and so grateful for your company. There have been hard days over the years and your kindness, patience and good moods have made such an impact on us to keep pushing forward. Thank you! 🙏🏼
“Of course, we wouldn’t be able to do what we do without our one-of-a-kind staff. Your efforts make OSMA what it is. Even when so understaffed, you all keep moving and help each other get through the day as a team. There’s not many of you, but what you guys can achieve is incredible!
“Lastly, we want to thank our landlord, Tony Freeman, for taking a risk on two 26-year-old girls wanting to open a restaurant. OSMA wouldn’t be here today without him believing in us. You will live on in our memory forever.
“Our last day of service will be Sunday, 9th February. Bookings are open now and we’d love to see as many of you as possible before we go. Stay tuned on our socials as we’ll be throwing a leaving party, too.
“A little housekeeping… gift cards bought after the 9th of Feb 2024 may be refunded to the original payment method, or extended to use at our new site (to be valid for one year after the opening date). Our Kitchen at Exhibition on Peter Street will also remain open as usual, so please don’t be a stranger.
“We appreciate every single one of you… and we’ll be back before you know it! Love Dani & Fie x”
Georgina Pellant -
19th January 2023 
