Manchester restaurant creates cheeky £69 per head Valentine’s menu
Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel - but let's be honest, there's no way they didn't do this on purpose.
Top Manchester bistro Kala has revealed its Valentine’s menu for 2023 and it’s equal parts naughty, raunchy, and (if you’re a little immature like us) downright funny.
No, we’re not referring to the chef’s dishes (although they do sound absolutely stunning). Rather, the thing that caught our eye was the price: with loved-up diners being charged exactly £69 per head to enjoy the romantic supper.
Surely someone’s got to be having a laugh on this one, and we’re absolutely cackling. Their followers clearly think it’s funny too, that is if the comments on the restaurant’s recent Instagram post are anything to go by.
Shared with the simple caption “Love is in the air. Valentine’s Day bookings now open”, the original menu post on the restaurant’s page makes no reference to the tongue-in-cheek price.
Mini doughnuts with dark chocolate sauce, honeycomb ice-cream and a nice slab of home made honeycomb. / Image: Kala Bistro
Chicken liver pate, farmer’s chutney and wholemeal sourdough toast – a Kala classic. / Image: Kala Bistro
However, fans were quick to pick up on it and quickly commented with a mixture of amusement and approval – with one person simply sending a trio of crying-laughing emojis, followed by a set of clapping hands.
Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel – but let’s be honest, there’s no way they didn’t do this on purpose.
After all, a quick look at the Valentine’s page on its website reveals this little nugget: “We always say people who love to eat are our kind of people, so HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY to all you lovers out there!”
Read into that what you will.
The newly-revealed Valentine’s menu at Kala Bistro is priced at exactly £69 a head. / Image: Kala Bistro
One of Kala’s most recent specials, made with tuna tartare, pickled cucumber, sesame, and salt and vinegar crisps. / Image: Kala Bistro
As for the menu itself, for that £69 it offers some really good value with a total of five courses including bread and butter pudding with ‘burnt toast’ ice cream and a giant rack of lamb, salad, meatballs and gnocchi ‘to share’ as a main.
With bread and snacks to be enjoyed before starters, followed by mains including a huge roasted lamb rack ‘to share’, desserts, and a signature sweet to finish, it all sounds more than tempting.
Think nibbles like rosemary and thyme focaccia with olive oil and sea salt or seaweed crackers with oyster emulsion, followed by starters of BBQ Hispi cabbage with romesco brown shrimp dressing and salted almonds, confit duck leg with savoury pancake, crispy rice and cucumber relish, and burrata with truffled honey, rocket and hazelnut pesto, grilled sourdough and pickled grapes.
Dark chocolate mousse, coffee caramel, hazelnut praline mousseline, vanilla ice cream. / Image: Kala Bistro
Roast rump of lamb, Shepherds pie, watercress and spinach purée. / image: Kala Bistro
For mains, choices include the aforementioned roasted rack of lamb to share with salad, lamb meatballs and gnocchi marinara, or for the couples that want their own dish, there’s roasted chicken breast, poached halibut loin, and pan-fried potato gnocchi.
And for pudding, Kala’s rhubarb and pistachio trifle is served with white chocolate and a lemon thyme cookie, whilst elsewhere on the menu you’ll find sour cherry bread and butter pudding with Maraschino and burnt toast icecream, and a blood orange choux bun filled with salted dark chocolate custard, vanilla cream and hazelnut brioche.
Last but not least, you can also each enjoy a marshmallow Krispie to finish before heading home to enjoy a little naughty dessert of your own (or not, whatever floats your boat).
Manchester Arndale is slashing prices on food and drink across the shopping centre
Daisy Jackson
Manchester Arndale’s Summer Scran Fest is back – and that means there are some absolute bargains to be had on food and drink right across the shopping centre.
Throughout the month of August, restaurants, cafes and kiosks within Manchester Arndale will be offering some serious offers and deals.
This ranges from 25% off to buy-one-get-one-free deals, plus free meals for kids and plenty more.
Venues taking part in the Summer Scran Fest include Archie’s, Subway, Barburrito, Pizza Hut, HOP Vietnamese, Michaels Coffee House and plenty more.
And the leisure destinations within Manchester Arndale are getting stuck in too – think free drinks, combos and more at venues including King Pins and Urban Playground.
There are plenty of Manchester-born businesses getting involved and offering bargains to us all, like Archie’s giving out free soft serve when you spend £10, Barburrito offering a £10 meal deal (burrito, tortilla chips and a soft drink), and Lazy Sundae giving a free scoop of ice cream with any large drink purchase.
Big brand deals include a £5 meal deal at McDonald’s (4 Chicken McNuggets, Cheese burger or Mayo chicken; fries; and medium cold drink), and 25% off at Pizza Hut.
There’s 20% off at Sides in the Manchester Arndale Summer Scran FestLazy Sundae will do a free ice cream with a large drink purchase
Then there are newcomers to Manchester Arndale taking part in the Summer Scran Fest.
HOP, a new Vietnamese street food venue on Market Street, is doing 25% off, while Michaels Coffee House will knock 15% off their seasonal favourites like an Iced Maple Oat Matcha or an Iced Rose Coconut Matcha.
There’s also a 20% discount at Sides, the chicken shop backed by YouTube sensations Sidemen.
And as for leisure destinations – Urban Playground is doing 18 Holes of putters tech-infused mini golf, plus any three small plates from The Butcher menu for £28.20.
Kind Pins has 20% off food and drink, and Immersive Gamebox will do 20% off plus a free drink when you book a 60 or 30 minute gaming session.
Pick up a voucher booklet in the centre or download your offers from the Manchester Arndale website from 1 August.
Manchester dessert and sandwich stars Gooey are set to open another city centre site
Danny Jones
0161’s world-famous dessert stars, Gooey, are set to open another city centre site – their third in Greater Manchester and soon-to-be fifth overall.
Known for their incredible cookies, doughnuts, brunch, legendary French toast and plenty more, Gooey made their first foray out of their hometown with a Liverpool location last year, and are now set to consolidate their Manc base even further.
Set to open in a prime piece of real estate, the latest Manchester Gooey store will be opening in a sizeable empty unit over on Circle Square, right next to the Asda Express and in the heart of the student living and leisure complex.
Benefitting from being easily seen from along the bustling Oxford Road Corridor, you can expect this place to be packed to the rafters from the off on day one.
The signs are already in the window.That unreal French toast dripping in syrup.Credit: The Manc Eats
There are few details on what the new arrival might have in-store beyond all the brand favourites at this early stage, but each Gooey store shop does have its own charm.
From their original bakery and cafe over in the Northern Quarter, to the three kiosks in Ducie Street Warehouse, The Trafford Centre Selfridges and over on Merseyside’s iconic Bold Street, they all offer something a little different.
As for any hints at the launch plans, fans are yet to be given an official opening date, but you best believe you’ll be the first to know the second we do.
In case you’ve never tried or even come across the indulgent and fast-growing independent business before, another popular part of their menu is the bits between bread.
Touching on the upcoming addition, Charlotte Wild, Head of Retail & Leisure at Bruntwood SciTech – the team behind Circle Square’s ever-expanding offerings – said: “Gooey is an incredible local brand who are continuing to grow, evolve and innovate, with ever more exciting desserts.
“They will make a fantastic addition to the Circle Square community, and we look forward to seeing the impact they make in the coming months.”
In case you wonder how much we love this place and just how excited you should be about another one landing here in the city centre, sometimes we just put together random appreciation posts for that one, aforementioned butty alone.
Local foodies will also be buzzing to hear that they’re not the only calorific cult favourites that are bringing more to our mouths in 2025.
First, it was Brewski, followed by American Pies; then it was Foldies, and now the beloved culinary brand is launching yet another new concept here in Manchester.
Georgina Pellant -
19th January 2023 
