Manchester restaurant creates cheeky £69 per head Valentine’s menu
Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel - but let's be honest, there's no way they didn't do this on purpose.
Top Manchester bistro Kala has revealed its Valentine’s menu for 2023 and it’s equal parts naughty, raunchy, and (if you’re a little immature like us) downright funny.
No, we’re not referring to the chef’s dishes (although they do sound absolutely stunning). Rather, the thing that caught our eye was the price: with loved-up diners being charged exactly £69 per head to enjoy the romantic supper.
Surely someone’s got to be having a laugh on this one, and we’re absolutely cackling. Their followers clearly think it’s funny too, that is if the comments on the restaurant’s recent Instagram post are anything to go by.
Shared with the simple caption “Love is in the air. Valentine’s Day bookings now open”, the original menu post on the restaurant’s page makes no reference to the tongue-in-cheek price.
Mini doughnuts with dark chocolate sauce, honeycomb ice-cream and a nice slab of home made honeycomb. / Image: Kala Bistro
Chicken liver pate, farmer’s chutney and wholemeal sourdough toast – a Kala classic. / Image: Kala Bistro
However, fans were quick to pick up on it and quickly commented with a mixture of amusement and approval – with one person simply sending a trio of crying-laughing emojis, followed by a set of clapping hands.
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Intimating its innocence in the joke, Kala replied with the haloed face of an angel – but let’s be honest, there’s no way they didn’t do this on purpose.
After all, a quick look at the Valentine’s page on its website reveals this little nugget: “We always say people who love to eat are our kind of people, so HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY to all you lovers out there!”
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Read into that what you will.
The newly-revealed Valentine’s menu at Kala Bistro is priced at exactly £69 a head. / Image: Kala Bistro
One of Kala’s most recent specials, made with tuna tartare, pickled cucumber, sesame, and salt and vinegar crisps. / Image: Kala Bistro
As for the menu itself, for that £69 it offers some really good value with a total of five courses including bread and butter pudding with ‘burnt toast’ ice cream and a giant rack of lamb, salad, meatballs and gnocchi ‘to share’ as a main.
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With bread and snacks to be enjoyed before starters, followed by mains including a huge roasted lamb rack ‘to share’, desserts, and a signature sweet to finish, it all sounds more than tempting.
Think nibbles like rosemary and thyme focaccia with olive oil and sea salt or seaweed crackers with oyster emulsion, followed by starters of BBQ Hispi cabbage with romesco brown shrimp dressing and salted almonds, confit duck leg with savoury pancake, crispy rice and cucumber relish, and burrata with truffled honey, rocket and hazelnut pesto, grilled sourdough and pickled grapes.
Dark chocolate mousse, coffee caramel, hazelnut praline mousseline, vanilla ice cream. / Image: Kala Bistro
Roast rump of lamb, Shepherds pie, watercress and spinach purée. / image: Kala Bistro
For mains, choices include the aforementioned roasted rack of lamb to share with salad, lamb meatballs and gnocchi marinara, or for the couples that want their own dish, there’s roasted chicken breast, poached halibut loin, and pan-fried potato gnocchi.
And for pudding, Kala’s rhubarb and pistachio trifle is served with white chocolate and a lemon thyme cookie, whilst elsewhere on the menu you’ll find sour cherry bread and butter pudding with Maraschino and burnt toast icecream, and a blood orange choux bun filled with salted dark chocolate custard, vanilla cream and hazelnut brioche.
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Last but not least, you can also each enjoy a marshmallow Krispie to finish before heading home to enjoy a little naughty dessert of your own (or not, whatever floats your boat).
Where to find the best sandwiches in Manchester city centre and beyond
Danny Jones
There’s nothing better than a good filling between two fluffy slices of bread, and we’re here to tell you the best places to find them in Manchester – that’s right, it’s the sandwich list.
From hot roast sarnies and hefty subs as long as your arm, to solid breakfast butties, giant Sardinian schiacciata and saucy Napoli-inspired cuzzetiello, if you’re a sandwich lover in Manchester then you’re well catered for.
We’re not happy to settle for a simple Subway or premium meal deal, we want big, honking artisan sarnies that’ll leave Tony Soprano talking with his most expressive hand gestures. Keep reading to find some of the best places to get a butty in Manchester and beyond.
Open your belt loop a notch, folks.
10 of the very best sandwiches in Greater Manchester
1. Ad Maiora – Northern Quarter
Credit: The Manc Eats
Look at the size of it this bad boy.
If you’re a fan of things in bread (and honestly, who isn’t) then Northern Quarter Italian sandwich dealer Ad Maiora is one that you absolutely need to get down your neck. They also have a great story.
Collected from a door on a Norther Quarter back street or for delivery, we’re talking giant handmade spongy schiacciata generously stuffed with the likes of ‘nduja, spicy Tuscan sausage, smoked scamorza, mortadella, burrata and red pesto.
With a total of nine different options to choose from, expect a huge array of different cheesy and meaty delights including parma ham, gorgonzola DOP, truffled brie, Milano salami and crumbled pistachios, plus a gorgeous vegan option with Italian hummus, roasted aubergine, olives, sundried tomatoes and rocket.
2. The Bread Club – Monton
Credit: The Manc Group
Run by in-laws Louise and Jack, The Bread Club sells some of Eccles’ fattest sandwiches (as well as the chunkiest hand-cut chips we’ve had in a while).
Equipped with a huge glass counter brimming with sandwich fillings, as the name suggests there is a good selection of bread to choose from with hoagies, bloomers, rye and more on offer.
On the menu, you’ll find eight different sarnies including the signature taco chicken, a hoagie stuffed with a mix of chicken breast, peppers, and onions, all enveloped in a secret sauce, then topped with Swiss cheese and jalapenos.
Other highlights include the Cubano – a much-loved mixture of roasted ham, pulled pork, melted Swiss cheese, sliced pickles and house mustard – and the Rueben on rye.
3. Katsouris Deli – Deansgate
Definitley one of the best sandwich places in Manchester.
Big portions and good value. (Credit: The Manc Group)
First established in the historic Bury market 50 years ago, this cross-cultural deli and cafe celebrates the mixed roots of its family with produce from Cyprus, Poland and Italy, plus more from across Europe.
Specialising in sandwiches as well as boasting an impressive salad bar and carvery, its second site on Deansgate is just as well established after 30 years in town. An iconic sandwich spot, the lunchtime queues speak for themselves.
Made with bread from Chorlton’s award-winning bakery, Barbakan, the ciabatta is a favourite here but you do have other options. If you’re in a rush, or just in need of something comforting, the hot roast pork with crackling, apple sauce and stuffing hits the spot every time.
Other highlights include the veggie-friendly ‘Zorba The Greek’, and the hangover-curing breakfast sandwiches filled with your choice of bacon, sausage and fried egg.
This hefty hole-in-the-wall sub sandwich spot drew fans from near and far when it opened in 2022 and it hasn’t stopped since.
The allure of a hidden alley walk-up, combined with mouth-watering Philly Cheesesteaks, Hot Honey Fried Chicken and Meatball Parm baguettes has earned it a place in our hearts and bellies forever.
Located just off Portland Street in the backstreets of Chinatown, ordering is done online in advance and they tend to sell out quickly so you need to be fast if you want to secure one of these beauties.
The Ancoats Deli meal deal. Credit: The Manc GroupAncoats Deli opens today serving sandwiches, wine and charcuterie boards. Credit: The Manc Group
Ancoats Deli is a gorgeous little sage green deli just off a sunny courtyard, with shelves stuffed with wine, mini canned cocktails, antipasti, meats and cheeses, plus sunny seats outside for sipping on a wine or a spritz.
It’s also got the best meal deal we’ve seen – for a tenner you can get a HUGE sandwich stuffed crust to crust with delicious fillings, plus either a packet of crisps or olives, and either a coffee or soft drink.
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You’ll often find a special or two but you can’t go wrong with the classics – jamon beurre, egg mayo and a tuna melt are all banging.
6. Pho Cue – Chinatown
Image: The Manc Group
Giggs reacted however everyone does.
This family-run Vietnamese restaurant in Manchester’s Chinatown opened in lockdown and has become popular for its bahn mi, which are available from midday and often sell out within the hour.
Only made ‘for the tradition’ in limited quantities for the lunch service, this fresh pickle and herb-topped Vietnamese sandwich can be ordered with either sweet soy, sriracha or spicy mayo.
Typically made by scooping out the inside of the baguette-style roll, here the chefs like to press the bread down instead to make more space for their fillings. Popular choices include chicken and king prawn, with beef, pork, tofu and avocado also available.
This tiny Stockport sandwich joint might have started out as a small but mighty little corner in the town centre, but with sandwich fans travelling across Greater Manchester to sample its wares, they’ve managed to expand their reach to three different sites now.
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There’s not much room to sit down in the original shop, but there is a very cute outdoor terrace that catches the sun perfectly at lunchtime and you’ll find plenty of people queuing up to grab a quick bit of dinner from here.
At each venue you’ll find a big chalkboard menu that lists its various options, with everything from egg mayo and Italian meats to a funky vegan option with handmade onion bhaji, chutney and pickles – they even do big fish finger butties now.
Toasted sandwiches are a big speciality here, with highlights including a peppery reuben, a three-cheese classic served with red onion dipping gravy on the side, as well as their hugely popular birria toastie.
8. Egg & Co – Various
Egg & Co serves one of the best breakfast sandwiches in Manchester. Credit: The Manc Group
Consider your hangover cured. You’re welcome.
Egg & Co specialises in gooey scrambled egg butties, with loads of different options to try including sausage patty, turkey bacon, avocado or caramelised onions.
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Do your stomach a favour, have this in the morning with a side of crunchy truffle hash browns and start your day the right way.
You’ll find them at General Stores at Deansgate Square, and at Kargo Mkt in Salford.
9. Northern Soul Grilled Cheese – NQ
First established in 2015, the grilled cheese OG’s have been serving Mancs their naughty, cheesy sandwiches for nearly a decade.
Widely considered one of the best places to grab a toastie in the city, its classic house staple features a blend of three different molten cheeses – all sandwiched in between golden sourdough bread – and is entirely customisable with extra free fillings.
For the adventurous, wilder options include the ‘Bacon Frazzler’ with Frazzles crisps, streaky bacon, blue cheese, onion and sriracha, and the Mexican Junkie with chipotle mac n’ cheese, jalapenos and Chilli Heatwave Doritos.
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It would also be rude of us not to shout out their annual Crimbo Dinner toastie – complete with gooey brie cheese, cranberry, stuffing and even a pig in blanket – which we still believe is one of the best sandwiches in Manchester full stop every time it returns. We loved this place since forever, basically.
10. Bada Bing – NQ
In at number 10, we’ve got arguably the goat of all Manchester sandwiches, the return of the king if you will: Bada Bing is bada back with a bada bang. The Sopranos-themed deli and sandwich shop first opened a few years ago to queues out the door but sadly disappeared much to everyone’s horror.
But fear not, the hiatus is over and the comeback was biblical.
Serving giant hoagies, heroes, subs—whatever you want to call them, they’re well worth the £10-13 price stage and you likely won’t need to eat again that day if you grab one.
From the self-titled ‘Bing’ packed with cured Italian meats, salami and yes, gabagool done just like Tony Soprano himself likes, to a stacked turkey offering, a veggie pistachio one that genuinely surprised us as a Chicago beef inspired by another US TV favourite, The Bear, we’ve happily devoured all of these.
Our go-to in the city centre for fresh falafel, technically this is a wrap but we’re going to allow it. It’s not just the herby chickpea goodness that does it for us here – it’s all the salads, pickles and other saucy accoutrements that go in alongside it too.
Wraps are stuffed with your choice of pickled cabbage, potato, salad, tahini, chilli sauce and lashings of fresh hummus, with grilled aubergine and optional extra. Go Falafel also makes its own fresh juices to order, which are well worth a try.
And that should be your fill. To be honest, if you’re still hungry and looking for more after that then we’d be seriously worried about your health and/or addiction to butties, though we do sympathise.
Bread is, after all, one of the single greatest inventions in human history.
Last but not least, we hope it goes without saying that this is by no means a totally exhaustive list of the best sandwiches in Greater Manchester and we’re sure you can find the perfect place for you elsewhere in the 10 boroughs if you don’t find it here – and please let us know where it is if you do!
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Every week is National Sandwich Day if you ask, so you might as well celebrate properly.
Oslo-born Doug’s Hamburgers is opening in Manchester, serving adult ‘Happier Meals’
Daisy Jackson
Critically acclaimed burger joint Doug’s is heading to Manchester for the first time, serving up grown-up ‘Happier Meals’.
The burger brand started life in Norway but is led by a very northern team – they’re also behind Madre, Medlock Canteen and London’s Breddos tacos.
Doug’s is an Oklahoma-style burger restaurant with a menu of classic burgers made with hand-pressed patties from premium dry-aged beef (it’s the thinly-sliced onions inside each patty that makes it Oklahama style).
A classic cheeseburger is the brand’s signature dish, featuring a smashed patty, onions, cheese, mustard, ketchup, pickles and Doug’s special sauce.
There’ll also be fried chicken sandwiches, hot tenders and fries, plus breakfast buns served all day.
The ‘Happier Meal’ is an adult twist on a fast food favourite – you get a burger, fries, and a martini.
Georgina Pellant -
19th January 2023 
